BBC Past Doctor Adventures Reviews: Illegal Alien by Mike Tucker and Robert Perry (or, “Life and Limb”)

We’ve already gone over the standard operating procedure for these early reviews of the Past Doctor Adventures in some considerable detail. The crux of it, basically, comes down to a desire to maintain a degree of continuity between the Virgin and BBC Books lines of past Doctor fiction, at least in these early stages where we’re in the business of tackling PDA debuts. It generally helps to be able to use the former company’s novels as a springboard to inform my opinion on these latest efforts, rather than maintaining the illusion of starting completely from scratch.

With Illegal Alien, however, we’re faced with a superficially different situation. For the first time in just over a decade, and nearly eighteen months after audiences bore witness to the advent of Paul McGann’s Eighth Doctor on television, we have a past Doctor novel focused on the Seventh Doctor’s tenure as a firmly historicised object.

Even in the case of the nearest comparable story to date, Lance Parkin’s Cold Fusion, the presence of New Adventure lore like the Adjudicators and the Other were very deliberately signposted as unwelcome intrusions by the franchise’s present into an otherwise perfectly normal Peter Davison story, climaxing with McCoy’s Doctor knocking Five unconscious and running back to the TARDIS for good measure.

Those of you playing the home game can perhaps begin to see where we’re heading with this one. For all that I might want nothing more than to drag out the pretense of BBC Books’ Seventh Doctor novels not having any obvious antecedent in the Virgin years, such a premise would rapidly end up descending into the realms of unconscionable falsehood on account of one very simple fact: the existence of the New Adventures.

This preamble, then, serves to capture the strange position that these latter-day Seventh Doctor books occupy. On the one hand, with sixty books headlined by this incarnation of the Doctor, none of the other six Doctors featured in the PDAs could ever hope to compete with the level of documentation and prestige afforded the McCoy years. No matter how BBC Books chose to engage with this period of the show, the mere act of that engagement would unavoidably have constituted a tangible commentary, one way or another, on their recently delicensed predecessors over at Ladbroke Grove.

Yet paradoxically, there remains something liberating in the idea of acknowledging the long shadow cast by the weighty bulk of established precedent. Most obviously, sixty novels is rather too large a number to give the basic PDA review treatment and adequately summarise in the beginnings of this post, even with my prodigious appetite for overextending myself.

(Honestly, without intending to get too far ahead of myself and spoil my Eye of Heaven review, I rather suspect that even the eight Fourth Doctor Missing Adventures published by Virgin will end up being too much to handle in that format. Between Jim Mortimore and the arrival of Leela though, I imagine we’ll have to enough to talk about that we can pick up the slack.)

But more significant by far for the PDAs themselves are the myriad ways in which this precedent is, if not entirely unhelpful, at the very least ill-suited to the comparatively disjointed context of what is effectively one of seven sub-series in a larger line of novels. Which is to say that a not inconsiderable part of what made the New Adventures such a refreshing and, dare I say it, novel experiment for Doctor Who was the one thing that the PDAs couldn’t really be – an interconnected procession of new, original novel-length Doctor Who stories being released every month.

Accordingly, faced with such a conundrum, BBC Books took what was arguably the most sensible course of action to resolve this underlying tension, and chose to roll back the clock some eight years. Rather than trying to grapple with the controversial and oversized legacy of the New Adventures, the Beeb’s Seventh Doctor offerings largely opted to focus on the character’s adventures with Ace at some indeterminate period following the duo’s last televised outing in Survival, but before their initial sojourn to ancient Mesopotamia in Genesys.

Sure, there were one or two exceptions to be found in the form of the odd novel set during the televised McCoy years, like The Hollow Men or Relative Dementias, but for the most part Illegal Alien serves as a reliable indicator of what’s to come from BBC Books and, latterly, from Big Finish.

Naturally, being the sort of person who has spent the better part of six years poring over every last New Adventure in increasing amounts of detail, this decision provokes somewhat conflicted feelings in me. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t an instinctive temptation to simply label Illegal Alien as a creative retreat on the franchise’s part, and there exists a reasonably substantial body of evidence to support this argument.

In a very undeniable sense, the novel is in fact a blatantly regressive move. Not only does it resurrect the final Doctor-companion pairing of the original television show – dutifully freed from the more controversial “New Ace” direction in which Sophie Aldred’s character was taken post-Deceit but it even serves as an adaptation of an embryonic script that Tucker and Perry were working on for consideration as part of the programme’s ultimately cancelled twenty-seventh season.

Indeed, the mythos of Season 27 is one which we probably ought to unpack here. The pull that it exerts over fandom’s collective imagination is understandably quite considerable, and that was all the more true in the dark and uncertain times of the Wilderness Years. It provides all manner of fuel for speculation, akin to the act of Star Trek fans picking over the scraps of the abandoned Phase II series to see whether it might have provided a different sort of revival than that brought about by The Motion Picture.

If we fast-forward a few years, that franchise found itself gripped by a much more directly comparable question, as the cutting down of Enterprise after a mere four seasons of life naturally left Trekkies’ imaginations to run a little wild. Witness the fanciful – but not, I hasten to add, entirely unwelcome – suggestions put forth in subsequent years by various creative figures as to the possibility of adding Jeffrey Combs’ Shran or J. G. Hertzler’s Kolos to the primary cast. This kind of speculation is largely just part and parcel of how fandoms cope in the face of the cold, harsh realities of their favourite series’ cancellation.

In the context of 1997, mind you, these musings took on an altogether different tone. Not only had Doctor Who been cancelled for well over half a decade at this point, but it had recently stumbled its way through a high-profile attempt at a revival in association with a major American network. By all accounts, this experiment had resoundingly failed to produce the desired results, with the TV movie commanding only nine percent of the television audience during its original broadcast on Fox. It seemed fair to argue that Doctor Who had, with this manoeuvre, somehow managed to consign any revival efforts to an even deeper circle of development hell than they were in before.

All of which serves as handy background information to explain why, in late July 1997, Doctor Who Magazine felt it imperative to construct an alternative history in which the programme improbably managed to survive Jonathan Powell’s infamous “Fuck off… or die” attitude towards John Nathan-Turner and limped on for two additional seasons. This was, first and foremost, an exercise in the “warm blanket against the howling void of the Wilderness Years” tradition. Unsurprisingly, given the inherently comfort-focused nature of such schools of thought, this came saddled with a hefty dose of nostalgia, complete with the affectation of regular editor Gary Gillatt handing over the reins to Sophie Aldred herself for an issue.

It’s easy, from the perspective of a world in which Doctor Who is less than a month away from the airing of its fortieth televised season, to poke holes in Dave Owen’s vision of the Seasons That Never Were. Actually, by far the more revealing fact is that it’s incredibly easy to poke holes in that vision from the perspective of October 1997, barely two months later.

Owen’s account begins with a description of the cliffhanger to the putative The Last of the Daleks, in which the Doctor and his new companion Kate find themselves surrounded, shockingly enough, by Daleks. The best rejoinder to this is undoubtedly still to be found in El Sandifer’s piece on the 2011 Big Finish adaptation of Marc Platt’s Thin Ice in which she quite rightly points out that “There are Daleks in this story with ‘Dalek’ in the title, folks!” is actually one of the most standard-issue Doctor Who cliffhangers imaginable. For our purposes, of course, coming as we are directly from the truly abysmal War of the Daleks, the idea that such a rote and monster-fixated cliffhanger would constitute a turnaround in the series’ fortunes in the public eye only seems all the more laughable.

(It’s worth reiterating at this point, lest you think I’m making an associative leap too far, that John Peel also claimed to have originally developed War as a script for the television show before its untimely end.)

There are other oddities, too. Owen proves peculiarly enamoured with the idea of Doctor Who‘s survival having been cemented by the production sensibilities of John Birt, whose efforts as Director-General of the BBC to “modernise” the venerated broadcaster were intensely topical at the time. Consider the following excerpt, directly following his extolling of the virtues of Dalek cliffhangers:

The arrival at the BBC of executives with a business-based approach, most notably Michael Checkland and the man who would replace him as Director-General, John Birt, has been blamed by Corporation employees and rival broadcasters alike for much of what is seen to be wrong with British broadcasting in the nineties. Yet it was the politics of localised cost accountability that, in 1990, had just persuaded BBC1 Controller Jonathan Powell to allow Doctor Who to continue for one more year. Specifically, a detailed financial breakdown of the series showed that although it was expensive to make, and performing poorly against ITV’s Coronation Street, it paid for itself twice over through syndication overseas and merchandise licenses.

So in essence what we have here is an apparently broadly sincere argument that Doctor Who would have survived if everyone behind the scenes had been willing to be a bit more Thatcherite about the economics of the situation. In case you’ve missed my general political leanings throughout the course of this project, I’ll note upfront that this is the kind of conclusion that I’m not very likely to entertain all that seriously. More to the point, it’s a conclusion that I doubt the production team responsible for The Happiness Patrol or Paradise Towers were ever going to give the time of day either, so I think we can pretty resoundingly dub it a bit of a non-starter.

It is, naturally, simultaneously wrapped up in the usual tendency of 1990s Doctor Who fandom to assume that the way forward for the franchise was for the BBC to fob it off to an independent production company, probably with the eventual goal of turning it into a movie. That this line of thinking persisted even after the BBC had tried to fob the series off to an international network and turned it into a telemovie that landed with a deafening yet inconsequential thud is proof, if proof were needed, that fandoms don’t always think of these things in the most logical of terms.

In practice, Doctor Who‘s return was eventually secured by methods that developed largely as a counterreaction to Birt’s Conservative-aligned sensibilities, taking advantage of the BBC’s gradually strengthened regional divisions to land a surprise hit for BBC Cymru Wales. With the benefit of hindsight, it’s clear that the foundational elements of this approach were already taking root at the BBC.

The first web pages dedicated to BBC Wales were launched in 1997, while the broadcaster began to make inroads into television production with the launch of Boyd and Jane Clack’s Satellite City in October 1996. This would be followed up in 1999 – just in time for a turn-of-the-millennium uptick in Welsh devolution with the opening of the Senedd – with Belonging, affording future Doctor Who and Torchwood alum Eve Myles her first major leading role.

In the accompanying interviews with key creative figures provided by Owen as a means of explaining the reasoning behind his rewriting of history in this particular fashion, it’s perhaps also noteworthy that the closeness of the then-forthcoming Illegal Alien to Mike Tucker and Robert Perry’s original scripts was heavily stressed. As Tucker explained:

Illegal Alien was originally written in script form. When I was writing the novel, the early part of that I was working from our original screenplay to get all the dialogue for the novel, so that was quite nice for me – it was novelising an unmade story in effect. The opening two parts of Illegal Alien, when it finally hits the bookshelves, is damn near what was the scripted version. When it does come out it may show some of the problems, in that it would have been a very expensive production, which could ultimately have been its downfall.

All of these facts, taken in the aggregate, paint a picture of a novel wedded to a rather fanciful and dated vision of the direction from which Doctor Who‘s salvation would come. If we chose to rag on War of the Daleks for representing a particularly nasty dead end for a certain approach to the franchise, then we should admit that Illegal Alien, at first glance, shows all the signs of adhering to that same approach, complete with a starring role for the other iconic Doctor Who alien. Whether the novel in question is riffing on an imaginary Dalek story dreamt up by Dave Owen or an almost-finished Tucker and Perry Cyberman script, there exists the same fascination with the totemic power of that unmade twenty-seventh season.

Certainly, this isn’t an entirely untroubling prospect, but the fact of the matter is that as far as sensible contexts in which this particular artistic preoccupation could sit are concerned, the Seventh Doctor PDAs are probably a much more comfortable fit than the theoretically forward-looking Eighth Doctor Adventures.

Crucially, for all that the two novels might exhibit a broadly similar raison d’être, there remain telling differences. Whereas War of the Daleks never rose above the level of a petty attack on Remembrance of the Daleks, the story most often singled out as the starting point of the Seventh Doctor’s NA characterisation, Illegal Alien takes great pains to avoid an outright erasure of the New Adventures.

Ace might have reverted to her televised characterisation, but certain choice Virgin-original elements of her backstory have been retained. She still worked at the McDonald’s on Tottenham Court Road as suggested by The Crystal Bucephalus and Head Games. Her friend Manisha is explicitly identified as having died, favouring Blood Heat‘s version of events rather than the more ambiguous account suggested by Ghost Light and Ben Aaronovitch’s novelisation of Remembrance. Even the most prominent element of discontinuity, the rewriting of the character’s surname to “Gale” in a nod to The Wizard of Oz, won’t be properly introduced until Tucker and Perry’s short story Ace of Hearts in five months’ time.

There’s a care and attentiveness taken here to avoid completely foreclosing on any future authors that might wish to play around in a more overt fashion with the trappings of the NAs, of the sort that’s completely lacking from decisions like the casual manner of Ace’s death in Ground Zero. I mean, that’s not an especially high bar to clear, but the point still stands.

What’s most interesting about this, really, is the fact that it doesn’t actually seem all that remarkable from the perspective of a 1997 reader. While Tucker and Perry are primarily remembered nowadays as two of the chief architects of a sort of ersatz Season 27 running throughout the BBC Books line – not to mention Tucker’s early contributions to Big Finish in the form of The Genocide Machine and Dust Breeding – that’s largely an image which doesn’t actually begin to take shape until Illegal Alien itself, if not later.

To date, they’ve only had one major writing credit for the series, contributing Question Mark Pyjamas to Lost Property, the second of Virgin’s Decalog series of short story collections. Far from trying to roll Doctor Who back to December 1989, the story offered perhaps the most logical extension of the collection’s central conceit of “homes owned by the Doctor” by centring its action around the house in Kent introduced to the New Adventures by Andrew Cartmel in Warhead.

Furthermore, much of the comedy of its “trap the Doctor and his companions in a cheesy domestic sitcom” premise derived from the fundamentally dysfunctional and jagged edges of the Seventh Doctor, Ace and Benny as a TARDIS crew. It seems, in retrospect, the type of story one might expect unabashed frock Paul Cornell to write, with Tucker and Perry probably being better suited for something like The Trials of Tara, constructed as it was to serve as an extremely loose sequel to an actual televised Sylvester McCoy story.

But while we could very easily continue to harp on in this vein about Illegal Alien‘s not being as resounding a rebuke of the New Adventures as we might initially imagine it to be, the DWM quotes alone make it apparent that Tucker and Perry aren’t particularly interested in pretending that this is anything that much more complex than a lightly reskinned “Season 27” script. As such, it probably behooves us to put aside all our talk of Time’s Champion and the Other and dust off the Cartmel Era analytical playbook for another trip around the block.

Handily enough, the Cartmel Era calling card which most immediately jumps out is one which Owen devotes special attention to in his What If? feature. Rather than using the Cybermen as little more than generic robots in an equally generic space opera world, as had become the norm throughout the Saward years, Illegal Alien chooses to ground its action in November 1940, at the height of the London Blitz.

This is, going by the standards of What If? at least, a highly significant shift. If the piece can be said to have a general thesis on the way forward for Doctor Who beyond slightly bizarre attempts at John Birt apologia, there are worse candidates for the title than Owen’s repeated emphasis on these final two imaginary seasons’ turning away from the garish space opera milieux of the Williams and Saward Eras. These would have been supplanted, he suggests, by an embrace of more readily comprehensible historical or (near-)contemporary periods of human history, which certainly seems a logical enough extrapolation from the overwhelmingly Earthbound Season 26.

Owen, for his part, partially casts this hypothetical sea-change in precisely the light that you might expect for a writer who seems so enamoured with Birtian accountancy as a valid mode of televisual production:

The production team had realised that a regular cast comprising the Doctor and one young female companion was the most workable, that serials set in recent British history brought out the best from the BBC’s designers, and that odd stories exploring the dark side of human nature were an area it could inhabit without fear of comparison with blockbuster science fiction films.

Granted, this isn’t a line of reasoning that’s been snatched out of thin air by Owen. Marc Platt, in the segment of his interview printed as part of 27 Up‘s commentary on Ice Time and Crime of the Century, seems to allude to it in a particularly choice observation, to give just one example: “You can have resonances within [period pieces], whereas it’s so difficult to create an alien culture in depth on a BBC budget. The designers just want to spray everything silver and light it like a Christmas tree.”

This is, in short, the same argument underpinning Russell T. Davies’ oft-quoted line in his pitch for the 2005 revival on the tedium of having to listen to stories about the Zogs on planet Zog and their turbulent relationship with the great Zog-monster. It’s particularly revealing, then, that What If? chooses to foreground the more prosaic argument as to the believability of the costuming and special effects that one one can achieve in a period drama, even as it does make a few nods later on to what we might call Planet Zog Theory.

(Care should be taken here to distinguish Planet Zog Theory from the ZOG Theory, a dime-a-dozen antisemitic conspiracy theory of the kind that is much less fun than overanalysis of an endearingly hokey British science fiction series. And, for that matter, from King Zog Theory, which I’ve just made up.)

What it reveals, as we’ve already said, is mainly just the unhealthy preoccupation in certain corners of fandom with a cinematic adaptation of Doctor Who. The idea that Doctor Who should even routinely be compared to “blockbuster science fiction films” is itself just a slightly more evolved form of the argument that Warriors of the Deep would have been a perfectly watchable story if the Myrka were a little less dodgy. Which is, y’know, rather unconvincing as arguments go, and also fails to consider that the decision to imitate big-budget blockbusters was in many ways the thing that set the series down the path to the Myrka to begin with.

While Tucker’s comments as to the feasibility of producing Illegal Alien as originally scripted may be seen to nod towards a similar filmic sensibility – and to be sure, one imagines that the Cybermat-heavy set pieces would have been a particularly tall ask, Cybermats never having been one of the more convincing creature designs in the Doctor Who arsenal – it’s clear from actually reading the finished novel that its televisual roots have been meticulously preserved.

Yes, you’ve got the more obvious signifiers like the book’s being split into four “Parts” as a means of keeping up the pretense of its being transmitted as an actual episode. Dutifully, the cliffhanger to the first part is the revelation of the Cybermen, though the novel goes the extra mile and manages the impressive feat of spoiling that surprise not just on the front cover, but on the back as well. And in a story that doesn’t even have “Cybermen” in the title, no less!

Even on a subtler level, though, the book’s origins as a script for the classic series are readily apparent. Its basic structure, with the Doctor and Ace becoming separated and pinballing between the same handful of places as they gradually ascertain the full scope of the plot and encounter as many action set pieces along the way as is necessary to get the job done, should be recognisable to any reasonably adept viewer of the original show. To finally circle back around to my original point, however, it’s really the Blitz that most firmly marks Illegal Alien as a Cartmel Era effort.

The Cartmel Era was, we should point out, not the first era of Doctor Who to be routinely made by people too young to have any meaningful memories of the Second World War; Eric Saward would have been just shy of nine months old when Japan surrendered in September 1945, while John Nathan-Turner was a little less than two years away from being born at all. Yet it was, in Ben Aaronovitch, the first to get a writer who was born after the series had debuted on television, and this proved by and large to be an equally important distinction.

Free from the cultural memory of the post-War, pre-Who status quo – or at the very least, freer than had been the norm for past Eras – there was a sense that that memory could be interrogated and played with in a more probing way. Stephen Wyatt’s Paradise Towers included a memorable – for better or worse – turn for Richard Briers as the eponymous housing project’s plainly Hitleresque Caretaker.

The following season, Remembrance of the Daleks brought the horrors of sixties neo-Nazism home to roost in the form of long-time BUF supporter and Cable Street veteran George Ratcliffe. All of this built logically to the first story to actually be set in the thick of the Second World War, The Curse of Fenric, to say nothing of Season 26’s marginally less direct grappling with fascist thought in the form of Ghost Light and Survival.

(This, incidentally, also hints at the main reason why Illegal Alien was held back from production to begin with, as Aaronovitch quite reasonably pointed out to Tucker and Perry that the production team already had a “Britain in the 1940s” story in the works. Now, with six years’ worth of New Adventures separating it from The Curse of Fenric, the novel can be advantageously reframed as a pleasantly nostalgic throwback rather than a demonstration of the law of diminishing returns.)

Although the New Adventures undeniably went on to broaden their identity beyond their beginnings as an outgrowth of the Cartmel Era, they nevertheless inherited their antecedent’s fascination with Nazism. Exodus saw the series use the horrors of fascism to make some early stabs at moral complexity and maturity, though those efforts were ultimately stymied by the basic difficulty of trying to get Terrance Dicks to write anything that could be described as “complex” or “mature.”

To their credit, the books eventually followed up with Lance Parkin’s Just War, which took the basic brief of Doctor Who and the Nazis about as far as you could feasibly go before forcefully exposing that idea as horrifically broken and unworkable.

If Just War saw the series offer up the most direct engagement with the horrors of Nazism that was tastefully possible within Doctor Who‘s intrinsically British frame of reference – that being the German occupation of the Channel Islands – then Illegal Alien has, with the Blitz, seemingly opted for the second-most direct engagement.

The Blitz, as far as the Second World War is concerned, is a bit of a curious thing. As a matter of course, Dale’s Ramblings tends to react with a certain well-honed scepticism towards parts of British history that readily lend themselves to nationalist myth-making, and there are a couple of searingly obvious reasons for this.

For one, the blog has always been the product of someone growing up in a post-Brexit world, and indeed someone whose adolescence and larger political awakening coincided almost perfectly with the fateful referendum. The Leave result was announced a mere three months after my thirteenth birthday, and is one of the key moments that really whipped me into an utterly confused sense of wondering what the hell had gone wrong with the world, coming just four months before the second such major shock.

Secondly, it’s just the type of thing that I feel it probably behooves me to acknowledge, as a white cisgender Australian man, Australians being a not-so-distant runner-up in the “Which former British colony can make an absolute imperialist hash of its own historical narrative?” stakes to the United States.

(Really, this unspoken competition is the true Commonwealth Games, only considerably more depressing and without the benefit of only occurring once every four years. And with more Americans. Lose-lose, really.)

We will, in due course, get to talking about the shortcomings of that myth-making, but at the same time I’ll concede that it would frankly take a much more foolhardy critic than myself to entirely downplay the sense of the Blitz as a hefty and tangible intersection between the United Kingdom and Nazi Germany. Conventional estimates generally place the number of London civilians killed in the eight-month bombing campaign at somewhere above 40,000, and that’s a big enough number that it would be in exceedingly poor taste to entirely dismiss out of hand.

The nature of this intersection, of course, remains substantially different from the harsh realities of occupation and collaboration which marked the experiences of continental European states, or even, as we’ve said, of the Channel Islands. The very nature of air raids as impersonal military operations provided precious little opportunity for actual, physical interaction with Nazis. Provided one of them doesn’t try to do something stupid like parachute into Scotland and get himself sent to Spandau Prison, I suppose, but that surely falls under the umbrella heading of “exceptional circumstances.”

For the purposes of drama, then, it’s easy enough to see the appeal. It provides a practically ready-made means of getting at the atmosphere of a war raging around the lives of the individuals caught in its wake. In effect, it’s not too dissimilar to the mood of your standard “War in Heaven,” only without the additional obligation of having to hammer in a less conventional sort of warfare.

It is, indeed, such a winning format that it’s hardly a surprise that the revival opted to revisit it for the purposes of The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances and Torchwood‘s Captain Jack Harkness. I mean, it’s not an instant win, as is proven by the example of Victory of the Daleks and (obliquely) The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe, but hey, the nature of an ongoing series like this is that they can’t all be winners.

Illegal Alien, thankfully, largely manages to fall on the good side of this divide. Tucker and Perry manage to create a pervasive sense of eeriness through the imagery of a sparsely-populated London beset by bombs, helping to ensure that the geographical linking tissue between the novel’s numerous set pieces actually has some measure of character to it

Perhaps the most striking idea that arises from this use of the Blitz, however, comes when Ace regards the towering urban inferno from the heights of Hampstead Heath (curiously free, in this time period, of anti-capitalist German shepherds named after Italian Marxists). Rather than viewing the city’s fate as an inspiring moment of British resilience through the so-called “Blitz spirit,” Ace instead sees a testament to the awe-inspiring power of anarchy at sweeping away a rather decrepit social order.

It’s an interesting moment, and one which seems to properly grasp the appeal of doing this particular story with this particular Doctor and companion. Ace’s reaction here is fundamentally tied to her nature as a character, and is all the more remarkable for the fact that the novel initially seems to be giving her an unadorned lesson in learning about the horrors of the Second World War; one couldn’t casually rewrite this scene for Rose Tyler or Amy Pond, because it really wouldn’t make any sense at all in that context without some major tweaking.

But there’s a delicate balancing act to be had here, as an uncritical valorisation of the Blitz as a “good thing” is quite clearly woefully short-sighted. Tucker and Perry are, if nothing else, seemingly aware of this, as evidenced by Ace’s subsequent guilty recollection of Manisha’s own fiery fate at the hands of neo-Nazis.

Granted, the sad reality of these abhorrent ideologies’ historical recurrence is hardly groundbreaking stuff, even if you’re confining the stories under your consideration to the McCoy years, but the novel does at least hint towards something a tad more nuanced.

More than any other Doctor Who story to handle the Blitz, Illegal Alien seems particularly concerned with the disproportionate impact of the German air raids on London’s East End. This is, it probably goes without saying, a demonstrable historical fact, occasioned by the area’s historical status as the home of the city’s main shipping facilities.

Even before the war, the East End had also acquired a longstanding reputation for crime and poverty, the latter of which wasn’t exactly helped much by the whole “houses constantly getting bombs dropped on them” situation. More often than not, this reputation found itself accompanied by a rather unfortunate streak of racism and/or anti-Semitism on account of the area’s sizeable migrant population. To put it in Doctor Who terms, well, all we have to do is ask “Where was The Talons of Weng-Chiang set again?” in order for you to get my point. I hope.

Throughout Illegal Alien, Tucker and Perry emphasise this sense of a much-maligned area of the city which has suddenly found itself the focus of a great calamity, and they just about manage to stay on the side of good taste to boot. Much like Greel’s nefarious activities in Talons, the “Limehouse Lurker” is explicitly likened to the lingering memory of Jack the Ripper, a parallel which also serves to indirectly foreshadow next year’s Matrix.

The guest characters themselves are also rather pointedly chosen. Sharkey is a bit too much of a stereotypical portrait of a shifty, crime-prone and mildly alcoholic Irishman for me to ever feel entirely comfortable singing his praises, but even here there is some minimal lip service paid to his theft-based activities being a response to his impoverished circumstances. The initial tension between Mullen and McBride, meanwhile, is partially fuelled by the former’s distrust of what he sees as the tendency of Irish Americans towards the cause of the IRA, which is a rather more shrewd piece of historical detail than the TV series was typically willing to delve into.

In this light, the scepticism shown towards characters exhibiting stereotypical “Englishness” becomes rather more telling, particularly in a story featuring the only then-extant Doctor not to be played by an English actor. What’s more, Illegal Alien repeatedly draws attention to the sense in which it is essentially moving through the extensive corpus of British, and more specifically English, popular culture to which Doctor Who owes a debt in one fashion or another.

The most blatant reinforcement of this sensation comes in the form of a number of nominal homages to fictional and real personages scattered throughout the novel. It’s hardly the height of critical sleuthing to figure out that Major Lazonby might possibly be named as a tip of the hat to a certain James Bond actor, while Dr. Peddler somehow manages to be an even more obvious nod to the Cybermen’s real-life co-creator.

Of Mullen’s underlings, PC Dixon seems destined to evoke Jack Warner’s eponymous character from Dixon of Dock Green – a series which, we ought not forget, Doctor Who spent an awful lot of its early years scheduled in close proximity to – and I’d be willing to eat my hat if PC Quick wasn’t named in deference to The Talons of Weng-Chiang, particularly with the East End setting and all.

But of the guest cast, it’s George Limb who is most frequently framed as a creature of narrative and of fiction. Ace’s initial trust of him is explicitly positioned as a result of Limb’s resemblance to “dotty old vicars and headmasters in 1970s English sitcoms,” while the man himself later ruefully compares his actions to Doctors Jekyll and Frankenstein.

On the whole, this serves as a sensible extrapolation of Limb’s presentation as a foil for the Doctor. Illegal Alien is hardly subtle on this point, with Tucker and Perry introducing the character by the sobriquet of “the Professor,” which predictably draws Ace up short on account of her own longstanding nickname for the Doctor. Even outside of these more obvious points, the novel makes an unselfconscious return to the “duelling chessmasters” school of adversary construction so favoured by stories like The Curse of Fenric for the first time in what feels like forever.

More specifically, and somewhat predictably for the Wilderness Years, Limb most directly evokes Jon Pertwee’s Third Doctor. He’s a high-level civil servant with powerful connections – and indeed, Victory of the Daleks retroactively makes it even easier to draw parallels between Limb and the Doctor on account of their mutual friendship with Churchill – and insider knowledge of all sorts of secretive governmental/military projects, who just so happens to have chosen to employ his skills for the benefit of London’s criminal class instead.

What’s most compelling about the inevitable critique of Pertwee embedded in this characterisation, then, is the decision to cast the kind of uniformity promised by Limb – itself a rather natural choice of subject matter for a Cyberman story – as something of a twisted funhouse mirror reflection of the national myth of the “Blitz spirit.” Sharkey’s reflections on the changing nature of the London underworld, as a formerly diffuse structure which has pulled together to the point that the individuals caught in the system are reduced to being “the eyes and ears of a single great organising mind,” prove particularly evocative of the language of solidarity which is often used to describe this period of British history.

The reality, as is so often the case, is rather more complex. Writing in response to renewed calls for the British populace to “keep calm and carry on” in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic in March 2020, historian Richard Overy summarised the oftentimes conflicting evidence that is so often erased by the simplistic “Blitz spirit” narrative:

The “blitz spirit” was nevertheless an invention at the time. There was doubtless evidence of stoic behaviour during the second world war. Psychiatrists at the time worried that there would be an epidemic of “air-raid phobia” and hospitals prepared for an influx of psychiatric casualties, but there were fewer admissions to psychiatric hospitals in 1940 than in 1939. One leading psychoanalyst, Edward Glover, published a Penguin Special in 1940 on how to conquer fear. His recipe was a simple pat on the shoulder and some firm words. He suggested carrying a packet of sweets or some biscuits, or a flask of brandy, to cheer up those unnerved by the bombs.

These banal solutions masked the reality of being bombed night after night. In the heavily bombed cities – Plymouth, Southampton, Clydebank – tens of thousands of people trekked out of the city into the countryside or neighbouring villages for shelter and food. Their understandable reaction was fear. Endurance was unavoidable, and survival their chief priority. Exhibiting the “blitz spirit” was not. Government researchers found that what people wanted most was sound information, the promise of welfare and rehabilitation, and somewhere to sleep. The sight of destroyed buildings, corpses and body parts was utterly alien to daily life. The trauma this produced was largely unrecorded, and certainly untreated.

This complexity was similarly reflected in the effect of the bombings on existing class structures in the United Kingdom. It’s perhaps quite pointed that one of the most widely reproduced Blitz-time anecdotes concerns the Queen Mother’s response to the bombing of Buckingham Palace, saying, “I’m glad we’ve been bombed. It makes me feel I can look the East End in the face.”

And sure, that would all be terribly moving if it didn’t gloss over the slightly inconvenient fact that the Royal Family were – and, let’s be honest, still are – the beneficiaries of a financial arrangement that would almost certainly see the palatial home restored at the expense of the taxpayer. Indeed, on her initial visits to the area, she had been met with hostility for turning out in her finest and most expensive garments, which is really only a few rungs above “Let them eat cake” as the kind of thing to which people suffering from an acute case of “having bombs dropped on their houses every night” are liable to respond poorly.

At the same time, however, the carnage of the Blitz did go on to bring about a genuine shift in the attitude towards poverty and social welfare in Britain. In June 1941, about a month after the Luftwaffe’s last major raid on London, the wartime coalition government formed a committee to, in the words of Arthur Greenwood, “undertake… a survey of the existing national schemes of social insurance and allied services, including workmen’s compensation, and to make recommendations.”

The committee’s final report, dubbed the Beveridge Report after its chief architect, Liberal economist William Beveridge, identified “five giants on the road of reconstruction” and proposed wide-ranging reforms to the nation’s existing welfare apparatus. Following the conclusion of the War and the elevation of Clement Attlee’s Labour Party to government after their landslide victory at the July 1945 general election, the document went on to prove a key influence in the expansion of National Insurance and the creation of the National Health Service, effectively paving the way for the modern British welfare state.

Out of the classist spectacle of the Royal Family bemoaning the loss of their stalwartly safeguarded palaces, in other words, came a marginally better world. Illegal Alien is at least incisive enough to recognise that this cannot ever entirely erase the very real historical suffering that the Blitz caused. Indeed, Tucker and Perry even get in a few token jabs at the state of London in Ace’s time, a world shaped by the twin pressures of Thatcher’s 1986 dissolution of the Greater London Council and the gaudy redevelopment of the London Docklands under the auspices of Michael Heseltine. Just in case you were in any doubt as to the British public’s general appetite for New Labour and the possibility of change at this time.

What ultimately dooms Limb, in other words, is his desire to bypass all that history and skip straight to a point where the arc of time has bent towards a future that is a little less crap. It’s not, notably, an active desire to alter or hasten that arc, which would conceivably run the risk of carrying a slightly unpleasant subtext of “Don’t try and bring about the welfare state before its preordained time.”

It’s a purely self-centred move, prioritising Limb’s own perspective over the experiences of any of the other people involved, and in proving unable to properly encompass the whole scope of history, he winds up spread across all of time and space in a rather horrific fashion that leaves me with a genuine sense of intrigue as to how on Earth he’s going to possibly return for Loving the Alien in about four and a half years’ time.

Where the novel stumbles, unfortunately, is in its final “Part,” which is really one of the more unfortunate places to have your artistic cock-ups. After the first three parts had conspired to keep the horrors of Nazism at a respectful distance, the final act sees very real and heinous figures of the Nazi regime like Reinhard Heydrich drawn into a pulpy runaround involving Cybermen. It’s not a failing unique to Tucker and Perry by any means; like we said, this was basically the tack taken by Dicks in Exodus, and countless adventure stories besides, of which the Indiana Jones films are probably the most salient example.

(Even there, Steven Spielberg at least had the decency, in making Schindler’s List, to realise that he didn’t quite feel comfortable continuing to use the Nazis as pulp villains, explaining the presence of the Soviets in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.)

In a post-Just War world, though, this approach feels severely blunted, especially with the decision to set the third act on the Channel Islands. There’s nothing in Ace’s experience of imprisonment at the hands of the Nazis that can even hope to come close to Bernice’s ordeal. Indeed, the fact that this treatment is extended to the TV iteration of Ace, a figure who has always been closely aligned with the spirit of children’s television, sets up a sense of fundamental wrongness which is to a certain extent deeply upsetting, and not even a dramatically satisfying kind of upsetting.

Parkin’s novel ultimately derived much of its power from its status as a rare example of the pure historical in a post-Gunfighters Doctor Who, and this is a power which can never earnestly be replicated in the context of a Cyberman novel. The underlying message of scenes like Ace’s conversation with fellow prisoner Sid Napley – that one should remember the names of the victims of fascism and/or genocide – is a sound one with which it isn’t honestly worth arguing unless you’re, y’know, a fascist, but Napley never really becomes much more than a name, and the whole exercise consequently ends up feeling dangerously cynical.

When your handling of Nazism is less deft than the “intentionally broad sex farce masquerading as standard-issue time travel dilemma” of Let’s Kill Hitler, you’ve made a misstep somewhere along the way. (This maxim also serves as an adequate rejoinder to Spyfall, Part Two, funnily enough, just for those of you who were expecting me to reference The Timeless Children in our discussion of clunky, poorly-delivered retcons last time.)

For a book which seems to aspire more often than not to the basic precis of “Silver Nemesis done right,” the Nazis who populate Part Four of the novel aren’t honestly much more sophisticated than Anton Diffring’s turn as Hans de Flores.

Still, for much of its length Illegal Alien is a perfectly serviceable return to the simpler days of the Wilderness Years, and as someone who admittedly harbours a great deal of baseline affection for the pairing of the Seventh Doctor and Ace, I can’t help but find it a relatively enjoyable time, even as it isn’t the deepest or most consequential work in the world. It’s also helped in no small measure by the juxtaposition of its workable handling of an iconic Doctor Who menace against the travesty of War of the Daleks, leading to a rare instance of a Cyberman story that’s leagues ahead of its nearest Dalek counterpart.

Perhaps, for the moment, that’s enough.

Miscellaneous Observations

The writing style of Illegal Alien is actually strangely inconsistent, with the bulk of it unfolding in a very economical, no-nonsense kind of fashion, only to be interspersed with occasional turns towards a more lyrical and flowery kind of narration. It’s a bit of a fool’s errand to definitively try and separate a given author’s contributions in co-written productions like this, but my gut feeling based on having listened to Tucker’s two Big Finish audio dramas and experiencing their distinct lack of overly flashy scripting is to detect the hand of Perry at work in these aberrations. I could be wrong, though.

One of the more humorous moments to be found in Dave Owen’s What If? piece, barring those I already touched upon, comes in his off-handed description of an alternate New Adventures line beginning with Neil Penswick’s The Pit, of all things. I can only assume, based on the dire quality of that novel, that this is a somewhat playful concession to the need to work in a mention of the unmade Hostage somewhere in the piece, but it winds up sitting at odds with the generally serious tone in evidence elsewhere.

Final Thoughts

Well, that’s another month down. And now, right before we get into the big month that’s going to end up redefining just about everything… I’m going to take a bit of a break. Truthfully, I’m just very exhausted at the moment, so I need to take some time off from the constant business of writing for a little while. When I get back, though, we’ve still got one more roadblock separating us from Alien Bodies, as Simon Bucher-Jones returns to introduce Clarence to the New Adventures with Ghost Devices. Until then, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Virgin Decalog Reviews: Lost Property, edited by Mark Stammers and Stephen James Walker

At long last, after over thirty years of adventures, Lost Property sees the Doctor venture into that most horrifying and impenetrable of landscapes: the real estate market!

More seriously, though, the second of Virgin Books’ Decalogs sees the series discard the notion of an opening short story that serves as a recurring framing device throughout the collection. Instead, the link is a more abstract one. All ten stories share a central theme. That theme, as I alluded to earlier, is the various properties and houses owned by the Doctor.

I don’t have as much to say in this Preamble as I did the first time around, since you probably understand the general premise of the Decalogs well enough by now. If not, feel free to go back and read my review of that first Decalog, because we’re going to jump straight into the first of Lost Property‘s stories with…

1. Vortex of Fear by Gareth Roberts (featuring the Second Doctor, Jamie and Zoe)

Oh dear Lord I already regret this decision. Talk about throwing me in at the deep end…

OK, anybody who’s read this blog for a while knows that I find it difficult to review Gareth Roberts stories. Not because the works themselves are bad, per se, but the man has just made himself a complete pariah in the world of Doctor Who at this point by going so far down the “They’re cancelling me!” rabbit hole of awfulness after he faced criticism for some transphobic remarks.

And the trouble is that he is definitely a talented writer. I can see why his works were as beloved as they were for so long. They’re enjoyably whimsical and quick-witted, and he’s very much the Doctor Who writer who has best captured the ethos of Douglas Adams and Season 17 in his stories. I think I’ve come to realise that, while I generally enjoy reading Roberts’ books, reviewing them is an altogether more exhausting prospect because I find myself reminded of just how spectacular his self-manufactured fall from grace has been.

With all of that being put aside, how about Vortex of Fear itself? It’s certainly odd, and it probably stands a fair chance of being crowned Roberts’ most experimental stories. To be honest, it’s perhaps a little much to jump straight into at the start of the anthology, but it largely succeeds.

The biggest problem, really, is that the story doesn’t feel too connected to the general theme of “houses owned by the Doctor.” There’s a cursory line from Zoe early on about the Time Vortex being the Doctor’s home, in a manner of speaking, but that’s really about it.

I could almost envision this as a rejected entry for the first Decalog that was reworked slightly to have the most tangential of links to the central theme of this second installment. I doubt that that’s actually what happened, and in any event I’d likely have no way of knowing one way or the other. Nonetheless, Vortex of Fear certainly feels of a piece with some of the first Decalog’s more mind-bending stories like The Book of Shadows or Lackaday Express.

These aren’t comparisons which are especially favourable to Roberts. Vortex of Fear has neither the tight command of pacing employed by Mortimore, nor the simple yet undeniably effective emotional core which Cornell brought.

By the same token, though, that isn’t to say that this story isn’t a lot of fun. It has a solid premise, and sticks to it throughout to deliver a short story that is, while perhaps not transcendent, still pretty enjoyable.

In essence, the story sees the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe stumble upon a lavishly-decorated hotel-like structure within the Time Vortex. It isn’t long before they begin to realise that the people inside the hotel have become the victims of an exceedingly timey-wimey misfortune, with all of them being stuck in a time loop. Only one of them is aware of this, but he’s been locked up as a madman and is desperately trying to escape.

I imagine the “weird and illogical hotel” elements of this premise have probably put quite a few of my readers in mind of The God Complex, but as I kept reading I honestly found myself thinking more of the early Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, The Royale. Both stories feature characters trapped in a time loop within hotel-like surroundings, with the only individual who is aware of the loop being holed up inside their room.

As usual when it comes to these comparisons, I do not draw this connection in order to spin some narrative that Vortex of Fear ripped off The Royale. Rather, I think that I enjoy this short story for much the same reasons as I enjoy that episode. Neither of them are close to being perfect installments of their respective series, but there’s something to be said for the strangeness of their premises.

The notion that the hotel is basically just an incredibly advanced tax haven is wonderful. As I alluded to earlier, much is made of Roberts as a successor to Douglas Adams’ tenure as script editor on Doctor Who, and this certainly feels like the kind of premise which the mind behind Hitchhiker’s might have toyed with.

Though it naturally isn’t delved into with as much depth as it might have been in a full-scale novel, it also serves as a nice piece of bitterly comedic commentary on the lengths that the ultra-wealthy will go to in service of their own ends.

Much like The Royale, the story also concludes with the knowledge that this loop will go on. The people within are trapped forever, and there’s something faintly chilling in the idea that this loop is playing itself out in a little corner of the Time Vortex every time that the Doctor traverses it. Obviously it’s hard to feel too much in the way of sympathy for a bunch of self-obsessed billionaires, at least one of whom is verifiably a murderer, but it’s still quite a horrific fate.

Indeed, it’s quite a bold storytelling choice to have the Doctor turn down Brachinnen’s desperate pleas for a means of escape. I can understand how some might think this a textbook example of the Virgin books’ reputation for grim, gritty cynicism, but I think it works within the context of the story. The hotel is a hellish place, to be sure, but it’s a hell that’s entirely borne of the billionaires’ own greed and avarice.

As for the regulars, this is another case where the Decalogs prove more adept at capturing the voice of the Second Doctor than the full-length novels I’ve looked at so far. It’s especially noteworthy in this case, since I think this is the only time Roberts has written for this incarnation of the Doctor. Despite that, the mannerisms and even the interactions with Jamie feel true to the spirit of the repartee between Patrick Troughton and Frazer Hines.

It’s also always nice to see Zoe actually explored as a character in her own right. This kind of goes back to what I said about Dodo in my review of The Golden Door in the first Decalog, but the female companions in 1960s Who tended to start out with an incredibly interesting premise (a Time Lady in all but name, an orphan from the 25th century, an orphan from… the 19th century) but quickly settled into a more generic “companion” role. That much is certainly true of Zoe.

She was introduced as an incredibly intelligent character, but there was also a certain strain of condescension in the way the show treated her. It seemed to suggest that she was too cold and cerebral and needed to learn how to appreciate the world around her from a more emotional point of view.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this as a character arc. It’ll always smack of a faint whiff of anti-intellectualism, but it’s a solid grounding for a character. It’s arguably not too dissimilar from the central conflict at the heart of Star Trek‘s Spock. The crucial difference, though, lies in the gender of the two characters.

The “companion” role, as a genericised archetype within Doctor Who, has long had certain awkwardly-gendered implications for the power dynamics of the show’s regular cast. Those implications definitely bled into Zoe’s characterisation in a way that they didn’t for, say, Spock.

To say that Vortex of Fear provides the most interesting examination of Zoe’s character from the franchise to this point may not exactly be a very high bar, then, but I do still think it holds true. Zoe feels more like a fully-formed character here than she ever did in the television series, and I very much appreciate that.

Roberts seems to have reimagined Zoe’s status as an intellectual wunderkind in a way that puts her on a more equal footing with the Doctor, seeming more reminiscent of the show’s treatment of Romana than anything else. Again, this makes sense for an author who was always heavily influenced by Season 17.

All around, this is a pretty solid way to open the anthology. Its links to the collection’s overarching themes are pretty weak, but it has an interesting premise that is well-executed, as well as characterisation of the regulars that makes writing the Second Doctor look effortless. Of course, I’d also completely understand if people felt like skipping this one thanks to Roberts’ involvement.

2. Crimson Dawn by Tim Robins (featuring the Fourth Doctor, Leela and K9 Mark I)

Hey, remember Leela? She sure was a character in Doctor Who, wasn’t she?

I’m being flippant, but that’s just because I find it incredibly strange that Crimson Dawn is one of only two stories ever published by Virgin to feature Leela travelling with the Fourth Doctor. The other is People of the Trees from later in this very same collection, though she does have a guest appearance in the Seventh Doctor’s final New Adventure, Lungbarrow. When you consider that even Dodo was afforded a chance to anchor a full-length novel in The Man in the Velvet Mask, it just seems very, very strange.

Anyway, we’ll get back to Leela in a moment. Crimson Dawn also marks the return of Tim Robins to the Decalogs. He previously wrote Prisoners of the Sun for the first collection in the series, and it wasn’t one of the more promising franchise debuts Virgin has ever played host to. It was laden with a metric ton of clunky exposition, largely because of the overly-ambitious attempt to tell an alternate universe narrative within the extremely limited time allotted to a short story.

That being said, I was willing to give this story a chance. Some New Adventures authors have had pretty astonishingly poor debut novels, but have surprised me with a much more enjoyable sophomore effort (paging Christopher Bulis…). I knew ahead of time that Robins never wrote for the franchise after this point, but I was open to the possibility that maybe he was just an underappreciated talent who slipped through the cracks of Virgin’s open submissions policy.

Much as it pains me to say this, however, I don’t think Crimson Dawn is very good. It’s probably a bit of an improvement over Prisoners of the Sun, but it ultimately ends up succumbing to much the same problems that plagued that story.

There’s no alternate-universe shenanigans here, but Robins has still attempted to tell this very big, epic story of a businessman in cahoots with terrorists and aliens and… hey wait a minute this actually still sounds extremely similar to Prisoners of the Sun

OK, obviously I’m being a little facetious with these remarks. Just about any two stories can probably seem quite similar if you reduce them to the most basic, broad summaries like that, but it still felt eerily similar to me.

In Crimson Dawn‘s defence, though, the thematic point here does seem a little clearer and more focused than it was in Prisoners of the Sun. This is very obviously a thinly-veiled allegorical story about the crass commercialisation of non-European cultures by big companies for the purposes of tourism.

Honestly, I found this to be a pretty great premise that fits well with the grand science-fiction tradition of using fictional societies and cultures to comment upon real-world issues, and Robins very much highlights the classical sci-fi roots of Crimson Dawn. The Doctor’s houseboat (providing that link to the “property” theme) is named the Dejah Thoris, and the story is peppered not only with further references to the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs, but also H. G. Wells.

For all that it’s propped up with some truly burdensome exposition, the vision of Mars presented here is a lot of fun. It perfectly captures the atmosphere of these kinds of tacky tourist traps that we’ve all no doubt been dragged to at some point or another. And yeah, I’ll admit it since I’m not a heartless, pun-hating Grinch: any story that features an actual dining establishment named the Mars Bar is automatically elevated by a few points at the bare minimum.

On a more serious note, the inclusion of Leela turns out to be a bit of a thornier choice, if you’ll pardon the expression. Leela was always a somewhat troubled creation. With her leather-clad, warrior woman demeanor, she often leaned a little too heavily into the kinds of patronising “noble savage” tropes which would ironically feel quite at home in a Burroughs novel. This was an impression which wasn’t at all helped by the fact that the production team decided to base her character arc around the idea of the Doctor “educating” her about her ancestors.

This certainly isn’t to say that it’s impossible to tell good stories featuring the character in spite of these problems. On the contrary, I think the expanded universe managed to get quite adept at humanising Leela in a way that the Hinchcliffe and Williams Eras sometimes didn’t. Big Finish’s Gallifrey audio series is a particular standout on that score.

Unfortunately, Crimson Dawn very much arrives before the franchise really got a handle on telling Leela stories in a way that didn’t play to the more unsavoury stereotypes with which she is associated. There’s a chunk in the middle of the story where the character reacts with bafflement when presented with the tacky excess of Mars, and it brushes uncomfortably close to the kind of romanticism of “less civilised” cultures that comes straight from the handbook of the noble savage trope.

This is all especially troubling in the context of the 1990s. It seemed like the popular culture of the decade held a particular fascination with non-European culture and spirituality, and especially that of Native Americans.

Kevin Costner’s Dances with Wolves was the fourth-highest grossing film of 1990, and took home seven wins from twelve nominations at the 63rd Academy Awards. Lost Property saw release two months after Chris Carter began to incorporate Native American culture into the mythology of The X-Files with Anasazi.

At the same time, Michael Piller was pushing for similar ideas within Star Trek: Voyager, an incredibly ill-advised move which would lead to trainwrecks like Tattoo and contribute to his departure from the franchise. Just one month before Lost Property‘s publication, Disney’s Pocahontas also sparked controversy over its numerous deviations from history.

Crimson Dawn is, thankfully, not quite as overt as all that, but it still plays into the broader context of white writers and directors’ fascination with these cultures as some kind of simplistic, romantic ideal. That this should come to the fore in a story which sets out with the worthy goal of criticising Western, capitalistic cultural appropriation only compounds the frustration.

There’s not too much more of any great depth to be said that I didn’t already say in covering Prisoners of the Sun, other than perhaps to note that Robins has gotten better at writing action scenes. Certainly none of the action was as disorientating as the choppy, confused raid on the BT Tower from his previous story.

Ultimately, I think I can only paraphrase what I said in my summation of Prisoners of the Sun. I could see there being a really good novel at the heart of Crimson Dawn, because it seems like Robins’ big ideas would be better suited to a longer-form medium. Unfortunately, that’s not what the Decalogs are about, and I have to judge these short stories as, well, short stories. On those terms, I just don’t think this one works.

3. Where the Heart Is by Andy Lane (featuring the Third Doctor and Jo)

Where the Heart Is builds from an incredibly continuity-heavy, fan-wanky premise. Reduced to its most basic level, it is the story of how the “manor house” UNIT HQ that debuted in The Time Monster was acquired from Doctor Dantalion, the Birastrop memory-surgeon from Original Sin.

It’s fair to say that this could easily fail spectacularly, coming across as a ridiculously self-indulgent, ill-advised mess. Thankfully, this is an Andy Lane story.

Lane is an author who has certainly never shied away from continuity references in his work. Lucifer Rising featured a main character whose husband disappeared on the Hydrax from State of DecayThe Empire of Glass was predicated on building out a portrayal of the Armageddon Convention from a single line in Revenge of the Cybermen.

To be fair, there were times when this tendency could backfire on Lane. The reveal in Original Sin that a cybernetic Tobias Vaughn was responsible for a millennium’s worth of the Doctor’s enemies was quite patently absurd, for instance.

Still, those instances are the exceptions that prove the rule. The fact remains that Lane has always been extremely talented at using continuity-heavy premises to paint a wonderfully detailed snapshot of a particular time and place, all while peppering the narrative with enjoyable, satisfying character interactions.

Where the Heart Is doesn’t have to do nearly as much worldbuilding as something like All-Consuming Fire or The Empire of Glass. That’s partially down to the fact that it takes place in the familiar, non-descript near future of the UNIT Era, but it also represents Lane rather shrewdly streamlining his storytelling sensibilities to fit within the short story format.

Instead of the worldbuilding, then, Lane places the emphasis on those smaller character moments. The story is pretty quiet, a marked change of pace from the apocalyptic, Earth-shattering (OK, Mars-shattering) stakes of Crimson Dawn. Things happen, to be sure, and there’s even a climax featuring a six-vehicle military convoy. Even that, however, feels pretty subdued, and this is a choice that works in Lane’s favour.

The real joy of Where the Heart Is isn’t really in the plot. On a basic level, it could probably be argued that it falls victim to some of the same problems which haunted The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back. Both are UNIT stories that focus on the characters’ responses to an external situation that we know must be resolved before the end of the story. Just like we knew there was never any real chance that the Doctor would leave UNIT in The Straw, we know that UNIT obviously cannot be disbanded here.

So what is it that makes this story succeed, where its spiritual predecessor didn’t? Well, it helps that Lane is, as I’ve said, a very experienced author at this point who has demonstrated considerable aptitude for writing characters. However, the story is also paced very well.

One of the biggest issues with the execution of The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back, looking back, was that it felt a little too frenetic. It bounced much too quickly from plot point to confrontation to other plot point. Here, Lane isn’t afraid to slow things down and make room for small touches that really make the characters come alive, whether it be the Brigadier snatching away Yates’ vol-au-vent or the Doctor pausing in the middle of an investigation to ruminate on Dantalion’s wine cellar.

Dantalion himself is fun, and it’s nice to contrast this much younger, more energetic personality with the version we met in Original Sin. It’s nice that he genuinely feels alien, both in appearance and in morals. The notion of a society where killing is tolerated if it’s done in pursuit of furthering medical knowledge is quite chilling, and the respective reactions of both the Doctor and Jo to this felt perfectly in-character. Some might argue that he gets off too lightly, but Original Sin doesn’t exactly see him living what you could call the high life, so I’m not too bothered by it.

I don’t have too much more to say. This is probably the best Virgin-published Third Doctor story I’ve read so far. To be fair, it’s not as if efforts like The Ghosts of N-Space have exactly set the bar very high, but still. I’m sad that this is the last Andy Lane story I’ll read for quite some time; it’s certainly the last of his stories for Virgin to feature the Doctor. When it comes to characterisation and storytelling, he’s really proved one more time that he knows precisely Where the Heart Is.

(Look, I held back for long enough, OK? Just give me that one…)

4. The Trials of Tara by Paul Cornell (featuring the Seventh Doctor and Benny)

The Trials of Tara marks the first “proper” Seventh Doctor story in one of these Decalogs. I use the term “proper” rather loosely for two main reasons. Firstly, the previous anthology’s framing device, Playback, did feature a starring role for Seven, albeit without any of his regular companions from the books or the TV series. Secondly, and perhaps more obviously, the term “proper” implies a sense of normality to the presentation of this story. Such a claim would be quite unfounded.

For you see, The Trials of Tara is not so much a short story as it is a four-act play script written in the style of a Shakespearean comedy. To give you an idea of how deeply Paul Cornell has committed to this idea, I need only quote the full, alternate title as it is given in the book: Would That It Were, the Comedie of Count Grendel the Master of Gracht with the Life and Death of His New Executioner.

So… yeah.

I’ll admit, I’m kind of thrown for a loop with this one. When you’ve reviewed things for years, you get so used to the rhythms of a short story or novel, no matter how experimental it might be. Any seismic change like this, therefore, kind of hits like a truck. In this case, it’s definitely a positive truck-hitting, though. I don’t think such a thing exists, but I’ve never let a wonky simile stop me before.

Anyway, as the title (well, both titles) kind of hints, this is a sequel to The Androids of Tara. As it goes along, it transpires that it’s also a sequel to The Happiness Patrol as well. On the surface, you could probably make all kinds of criticisms about how ridiculous it is to mash these two characters up. These criticisms would miss the fact that the ridiculousness is very much the point.

And make no mistake, this is a very silly (and often very funny) story, but it’s also quite an attentive recreation of the works of one of the most celebrated English authors of all time. It feels a little too much describe a pastiche of already-comedic stories as having “played it straight,” but the sentiment still holds. The bawdy humour and double entendres are amply represented, and those familiar with the Bard will also doubtless recognise a number of plot beats and names from his plays which Cornell has repurposed here.

I can’t really comment on if it’s accurate to the more technical aspects like the stage directions or the iambic pentametre or what have you. Yours truly does not, it must be said, really possess the necessary grounding in classical literature or poetry to make any such judgments. If you do, and you read the story, draw your own conclusions in this area.

One area which I do feel qualified to speak on, though, are the Doctor Who elements. Obviously the characters are a little exaggerated to fit into a Shakespearean comedy, but the Doctor and Bernice are both still pretty recognisable even through the farce. The latter in particular should come as no surprise, since we are of course dealing with the author who invented Benny in the first place, but it’s nice to see all the same.

The rest of the characters are fun enough, if perhaps not especially deep. Nonetheless, there were still some creative ideas. Taking Oberon and Titania and making them the monarchs of android fairies constructed as novelty Christmas gifts is a cute twist on the original play that also totally fits with what we know of Taran culture.

The last thing of substance I’ll note is that it’s interesting to view this in the context of some of Cornell’s later books. The obvious point of reference would probably be something like Oh No It Isn’t!, which is quite heavily steeped in ideas of pantomime and performance.

However, it also fits quite well with the author’s earlier reworking of Karl Marx in No Future: “They say history repeats itself… The first time as tragedy, the second time as farce. This time, it’s panto.”

To contort this quote beyond all reasonable measure, if The Androids of Tara is the tragedy, then it seems reasonable that The Trials of Tara is the farce. Does this make Oh No It Isn’t! the final, evolved iteration of Cornell-as-panto? Eh, probably not. Again, this all relies on me stretching a throwaway line to breaking point and I don’t really intend it in too much seriousness, but it is interesting to note these ideas recurring throughout the author’s work all the same.

The Trials of Tara is a delightful example of the way in which Virgin’s willingness to allow its authors to experiment could often pay dividends. It’s the kind of thing that you could never really do in a visual medium like television, but which also couldn’t really sustain a full-length novel. In that respect, then, it’s arguably doing exactly what a short story should.

5. Housewarming by David A. McIntee (featuring Sarah, Yates and K9 Mark III)

Kind of surprising that, with a premise like “stories about houses owned by the Doctor,” it took us until nearly halfway through Lost Property to get a haunted house story. Less surprising, though, is that it should come from the pen of David A. McIntee.

McIntee has always had a certain fondness for pulp. His debut novel, White Darkness, featured Haitian zombies under the thrall of an unnamed Cthulhu. His sophomore effort, First Frontier, was very much an archetypal “alien invasion of 1950s New Mexico” story that leaned heavily on the mythos and ambience associated with the Roswell Incident.

Housewarming slots rather comfortably into this tradition. Sure, the eventual explanation might rest more on time travel technobabble than on anything “supernatural” (perhaps an inheritance from McIntee’s other great influence, Star Trek), but the imagery with which the story is playing will seem familiar to any reader with even the most fleeting acquaintance with horror cinema.

The team of paranormal investigators that Sarah, Mike and K-9 find themselves teaming up with are all pretty broadly drawn. There’s the tech wizard, the skeptic, the young couple who inevitably wind up being creepily watched (though, in this case, not slain) by the main villain during a sexual encounter.

Again, this is all pretty standard stuff, but it’s largely carried by how much fun McIntee is having working in this space. The shorter format also helps ensure that Housewarming avoids the pitfalls of something like First Frontier in feeling so familiar that it becomes rote, tired and dull.

Speaking of First Frontier, though, there’s actually a pretty solid link to that novel here. What follows is technically going to be a spoiler, I suppose. Really though, if a bearded, aquiline man in dark clothing going by a name like “Marius Castillo” turns up in a David A. McIntee story, chances are pretty good that he’s the Master.

Predictably, that is indeed precisely who he turns out to be. However, it also seems like this is actually the Basil Rathbone incarnation from First Frontier. There’s nothing explicit within the text to really confirm this, but considering both stories are from the same author, it seems likely. Neither Mike nor Sarah recognise him, either, which would seemingly rule out the possibility that it’s Delgado or Ainley.

The Rathbone Master remains one of those delightful oddities thrown up by the New Adventures while they were given the task of proverbially shepherding the franchise continuity. Beyond First Frontier and this story, he would only appear in Paul Cornell’s Happy Endings before quietly disappearing. Some have speculated that he is, in fact, the incarnation played by Gordon Tipple that we glimpse at the beginning of the 1996 TV movie, but there’s nothing to really confirm that.

Since he only appeared towards the end of First Frontier after the Ainley Master was shot, this is really the first time we’ve gotten the chance to glimpse this incarnation “fully-formed,” as it were. How does he do? Well, he’s fine, albeit a little indistinct. The Master is really a character who lives and dies on the performance, or the capturing of that performance when it comes to literary media like prose or comics.

McIntee has already demonstrated a knack for capturing the performance and spirit of the Master to this point, but the Rathbone Master perhaps suffered from the jump in comparison to those on-screen incarnations. The character certainly does all the expected Master-y things, but still feels a tad generic.

Given this Master’s roots in Rathbone’s performance as Guy of Gisbourne, though, it was fun to see the story climax in a rapier duel between him, Mike and Sarah… even if the “I’m not left-handed” bit was pretty blatantly cribbing from The Princess Bride.

The last noteworthy thing about Housewarming is that I believe it marks the first story published by Virgin to not feature the Doctor at all. We’ve obviously brushed up against that in the past with novels like Birthright, or within the Decalogs themselves with The Duke of Dominoes. Still, even these stories featured a token Doctor cameo or two.

What would seem to be represented in this focus on Doctor-less stories (indeed, by the time they stopped writing Doctor Who-adjacent fiction in 1999, that would be the only thing Virgin was able to publish) is an attempt to broaden the scope of the Doctor Who universe. Again, as I kind of alluded to in that parenthetical just now, it was also often reflective of the fact that they simply didn’t have the rights to use elements like the Doctor, the TARDIS or the Daleks. I think the creative intent was still there in some form, though, however unconscious of it they may have been.

This also isn’t really something exclusive to the Wilderness Years. After all, Housewarming does owe a considerable debt to the failed K-9 and Company pilot from the early 1980s. At times it plays almost as a hypothetical second episode of the series that never was, although with the admitted caveat that it definitely takes place some time later in the 1990s. In a post-Sarah Jane Adventures world, it’s interesting to see how the seeds were sown, and the characterisation of Sarah, Yates and K-9 is solid.

Housewarming takes a premise that could probably feel tired and worn-out in different hands, and elevates it to something a lot more enjoyable. Much like Vortex of Fear, it’s not exactly high art, and that’s probably only further highlighted by the fact that it comes directly after two of Lost Property‘s strongest stories. Still, for what it is, it’s a great deal of fun.

6. The Nine-Day Queen by Matthew Jones (featuring the First Doctor, Ian and Barbara)

Oh hey, another story from a first-time Doctor Who author. More than that, a first-time author who would actually go on to have a reasonable amount of success and staying power in the franchise. I don’t know what it is about the Decalogs so far, but all the authors who have made their debut within these two collections haven’t tended to go on to write much outside of them.

Whatever the case may be, Matthew Jones (or, as his later credits would refer to him, Matt Jones) would go on to write two New Adventures novels in the form of Bad Therapy and Beyond the Sun. When Doctor Who returned to television in 2005, he would contribute The Impossible Planet and The Satan Pit to the revival’s second season, as well as penning Dead Man Walking for the spin-off series Torchwood.

There isn’t really much to tie The Nine-Day Queen to those later efforts, to be honest. Indeed, against their depictions of the Devil and Death itself, a story focusing on the Doctor, Ian and Barbara’s becoming enmeshed in the tragic fate of Lady Jane Grey seems positively intimate and small-scale by comparison.

The biggest problem with this premise is that it invited me to draw comparisons in my head to a previous First Doctor story, The Book of Shadows. To be fair, the notion of throwing that particular incarnation into a historical setting is one that would likely occur to a great many writers, based on his television tenure.

From there, it’s not exactly a great leap to throw in a science-fiction element and base the story’s central thrust around a tricky moral dilemma like the possibility of rewriting history. All the same, there are a few key shortcomings that unfortunately held me back from enjoying The Nine-Day Queen as much as I did The Book of Shadows.

Most glaringly, the story’s pacing is a bit of a mess. It’s supposed to take place over a period of a few months, but I simply didn’t feel that the text created that impression skilfully enough. The best example to illustrate my point is that the Doctor only spends one scene as Jane’s tutor before her wedding to Guildford.

We are, of course, told that they spend much more time together, but therein lies the problem: being told about two characters forming a deep bond off-screen is really not a substitute for actually seeing that happening.

“Show, don’t tell” has almost become a cliché in its own right when it comes to writing advice, and there’s a lot more nuance to be found in the application of those three words than is perhaps generally acknowledged. Sometimes, though, the old advice is still the best, and this is one of those cases.

(Much the same applies to Jones’ decision to begin the story in media res and tell the tale of Barbara’s possession by the Vrij entirely in Ian’s own memories. It just feels clunky and awkward, and recalls the problems I’ve discussed previously with Crimson Dawn or Prisoners of the Sun leaning much too heavily on expository infodumps.)

The truncation of the Doctor and Jane’s relationship also speaks to another complaint I have. For a story entitled The Nine-Day Queen, the Nine-Day Queen herself doesn’t have much presence. It feels like this was written with the intent of exploring the way in which Grey’s agency was robbed from her by the political machinations of the men around her, and while that’s certainly a noble sentiment, its impact is rather lessened by her absence from large chunks of the narrative.

There is still some emotion to be found in the Doctor just narrowly missing a chance to say a proper goodbye to Jane, or in Barbara musing on the Queen’s fate. Nonetheless, it’s largely drowned out by the generic sci-fi possession stuff involving the Vrij (probably the winner of the Most Inexplicably Dutch Extraterrestrial Name competition), and the tragedy that is present has been done better elsewhere.

I dunno. I feel kind of bad that none of the first-time authors from the Decalog series have really been “landing” with me, especially since I quite like The Impossible Planet and The Satan Pit in particular. But yet again, here’s another story that just felt a little too large for a short story and so feels more than a little like squandered potential.

7. Lonely Days by Daniel Blythe (featuring the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa)

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you might recall that I wasn’t especially enamoured with either of Daniel Blythe’s previous novels. The Dimension Riders hewed much too closely to the template of Douglas Adams’ Shada, with a little bit of Star Trek thrown in for added flavour. Infinite Requiem was an improvement, but it still suffered from generic antagonists with unclear motives and an outrageously cheap “shock value” ending.

It’s perhaps too much to characterise Lonely Days as Blythe’s magnum opus or some unheralded masterpiece waiting in the wings, but I did enjoy it a great deal more than either of those novels. It almost feels a shame that it should mark his last story for Virgin, but that’s the way things go I suppose.

What hit me most about Lonely Days is something entirely unintentional. As the title implies, it’s a story dealing with themes of isolation and loneliness, as a survey officer grapples with being the only human being on an asteroid. Obviously this is something that resonates a lot more after the last two years than it may have done in 1995. While there is some awkwardness in aspects of Blythe’s approach to this idea, I did still appreciate the rather low-key nature of the premise.

Indeed, much like Where the Heart Is, “low-key” is very much the word of the day here. The story is quite short relative to the others in the collection, and apart from the researcher, the Doctor and Nyssa, there’s only one other character.

Honestly, I think that these kinds of narratives are much better suited to the short story format than larger-scale efforts like Crimson Dawn or The Nine-Day Queen. They’re not the only way to tell a good short story, and indeed there have been some “bigger” stories that I have still liked. Just look at The Book of Shadows.

Nonetheless, I find that the average quality of your short stories tends to improve when you treat them as “short stories” and not just “novels of a much shorter length.” Probably shouldn’t be a very radical observation but what’re you gonna do?

The plot itself isn’t exactly super groundbreaking. There’s some weird things going on at a far-flung research outpost on an asteroid that the Doctor once won while gambling, but everything is ultimately resolved without too much of a fuss once it turns out that the asteroid is actually a dying, sentient being who was just trying to warn the researcher.

This is all pretty stock-standard science-fiction stuff. It even feels a little reminiscent of the type of “misunderstanding between aliens and humans that is resolved by finding a way of breaching the barriers in communication and language” moral that Star Trek is particularly fond of (see The Devil in the DarkOne of Our Planets Is Missing, Home Soil).

While it might be a bit of a tropey plot, though, it’s executed well enough here that I can forgive it. If authors are going to pull aspects from Star Trek (which, though I am loath to admit it, is perhaps a little unavoidable since the books are the product of the 1990s), I’d rather they take some of the moral philosophy from it than just try to ape the setting and characters.

The premise does run into some issues, though. It turns out that the researcher has created a hologram of his girlfriend, who was killed in a Dalek attack during his posting to the asteroid. The story at least seems to recognise, on some level, that this is weird. It isn’t as if it condones it, but it doesn’t exactly feel like condemnation either. Indeed, the dying asteroid-being even agrees to remain in the form of the holographic girlfriend at story’s end.

All of this feels somewhat akin to struggles that the ’90s Star Trek shows would run into with the holodeck. The franchise seemed decidedly uncomfortable with the prospect of directly and seriously addressing the possibility that people would use this kind of technology for less-than-wholesome purposes. What you got instead were scripts like Hollow Pursuits or Booby Trap that seemed to gesture at a recognition of the holodeck’s creepy aspects, but always stopped just shy of explicit acknowledgment of those possibilities.

(Of course, when the franchise did grapple with these ideas, we got trainwrecks like the “Quark is hired to make holographic pornography featuring Kira’s image without her consent” subplot from Deep Space Nine‘s Meridian so… maybe it’s for the best that it didn’t happen more often.)

What makes this so frustrating in the case of Lonely Days is that the whole “holographic girlfriend” angle could have been cut so easily and the story would have avoided these issues altogether. It doesn’t exactly ruin the story for me, but it is just… a weird idea to drop so casually into a story like this.

I guess the last thing I’ll mention is the characterisation of the regulars. They’re both good, though perhaps a little broadly-drawn when compared to some of the truly great Doctor and Nyssa stories.

It is interesting to see authors begin to capitalise on the potential of the gap between Time-Flight and Arc of Infinity as an opportunity to tell previously unseen adventures, though. Big Finish would later do the same, particularly in the early years before Janet Fielding agreed to reprise her role as Tegan.

Lonely Days isn’t a great story. It’s perhaps a little too simple and archetypal a plot, there are some questionable storytelling decisions, and while the characterisation of the Doctor and Nyssa isn’t egregiously terrible, it’s not exactly first-class stuff either. And yet, for whatever reason, I found it to be enjoyable enough.

Maybe if it was longer it would have wound up overstaying its welcome, but thankfully that didn’t really end up happening. While I can’t say I’ll especially miss having more Daniel Blythe stories to review, this was probably the strongest thing he wrote for Virgin.

8. People of the Trees by Pam Baddeley (featuring the Fourth Doctor and Leela)

People of the Trees is a baffling creation. On the one hand, it is reasonably well-written and flows pretty smoothly. There’s none of the awkwardly crammed exposition that has plagued some of the weaker stories the Decalogs have brought us. Unfortunately, it also suffers from a premise which can’t help but feel like an uncritical and unexamined use of the white saviour trope.

In keeping with the anthology’s central, unifying theme, the property which People of the Trees focuses on is an area of land which the First Doctor purchased on an unnamed planet. He did this with the intent of protecting the titular People of the Trees, an arboreal race considered by the other inhabitants of the planet to be “savages.”

Within the short story, it seems reasonably clear that the People are portrayed in a manner that evokes traditional conceptions of Native Americans and other First Nations peoples who have historically been the victims of violence and hostility from colonialist European powers.

The specifics of the allegory aren’t one-to-one, to be fair. The Dascarians are never explicitly said to have colonised this region of the planet. Based solely on the evidence of the text, it’s not entirely unreasonable to assume that the two races have always occupied the same area. Still, the discussion of the People’s tribes having been exterminated in the past seems fairly clear as to what part of history it is evoking, as do the persistent beliefs advanced by the Dascarians that the People are little more than “savages.”

I don’t necessarily take issue with the very idea of doing a story tackling these kinds of issues. Indeed, the collection’s theme of “land ownership” could have even provided a window into contemporary discussions of native title.

After all, native title was very much a hot-button topic in the 1990s, particularly in Australia. In the high-profile court case Mabo v Queensland (No 2), the High Court had almost unanimously voted to overturn the doctrine of terra nullius. One year later, Paul Keating’s Labor government passed the Native Title Act 1993 which enshrined the titular doctrine in federal law.

However, these decisions did not have the effect of quashing debate on the topic. Lost Property arrived a year before the High Court’s judgment in the Wik Peoples v Queensland case would receive intense criticism and blowback from federal and state Liberal-National coalition governments. The cover of a December 1997 issue of Australian periodical The Bulletin would pose the question “Land Rights: How Much is Too Much?”

People of the Trees obviously exists in a British context and not an Australian one, but it’s hard not to read it as reflecting these contemporary discussions in some fashion. Sadly, when viewed in that light, I think this story falls quite short.

As much as I wish we had got a bold and challenging story, something that might have affirmed the rights of First Nations peoples to exercise ownership of their traditional lands, we didn’t get that. The story pretty much takes for granted that the best possible outcome that the People can hope for is that the Doctor retains ownership of the land so that he can protect them.

There is… a lot to unpack in that, and as a white critic there are obviously limits to how qualified I can ever be to fully parse the implications of that assumption. What I will say, though, is that in the absolute most charitable reading possible, People of the Trees still brushes uncomfortably close to the imperialist rhetoric of the White Man’s Burden.

This is the kind of rhetoric that has been used for centuries to justify various policies that adopt a paternalistic approach to First Nations peoples in countries like the United States, Canada and Australia. In particular, the Doctor’s decision to carve out an area of the land for the People’s “protection” is scarily similar to the policy enacted in the United States by the government of President Andrew Jackson under the Indian Removal Act.

There are perhaps ways of making this revelation work. After all, it makes some measure of sense that the First Doctor might choose to do something like this. His presentation as a refined, scholarly English gentleman wandering the universe and righting wrongs has always carried certain colonialist undercurrents, so writing a story that called out some of those tendencies would make complete sense. Unfortunately, this isn’t what People of the Trees does, and it instead ultimately accepts the Doctor’s actions as being completely, unquestionably justified.

To be fair, there are times where the story seems to flirt with the prospect of making some more stinging criticisms. Most notably, the scene where the Doctor tries in vain to warn the Justiciar of Aulian Thorolis’ villainous intentions feels like it comes closest to recognising the ways in which the legal and judicial systems will often tend to be weighted in favour of the majority’s interests. The story still ends with the Doctor’s ownership of the land seemingly secure, though, which undermines any heft that the scene’s criticisms might have had.

I dunno. It just doesn’t quite sit right with me, even as I recognise that there are elements here that I do like. The Doctor and Leela’s relationship here seems perhaps a little more equal than it was in Crimson Dawn, though that might just be the effect of juxtaposing it with all the stuff with the People.

As I said at the beginning of this review, Baddeley also has a better understanding of how to structure and pace a short story than some other authors thus far. It’s a bit of a shame that this is her only story for the franchise, as the White Man’s Burden/white saviour aspects do overshadow the parts that show some promise.

Even more unfortunate is that this should prove to be the last time Virgin published a proper outing for the Fourth Doctor and Leela. It’s a shame that both stories have been tarnished by clumsy attempts to tackle issues of cultural imperialism and colonialism against First Nations peoples. Perhaps it’s not too surprising, though, given that Leela is a character whose base concept is more than a little iffy.

It’s strange, because I came into Lost Property hoping to be able to talk about these stories as some kind of forgotten, overlooked gems. That’s what I wanted, given their unique status within Virgin’s oeuvre. However, if Crimson Dawn and People of the Trees can at all be considered a valid barometer of the quality we could expect from further stories with the Doctor and Leela, then perhaps it’s for the best that this particular dynamic duo were never again put in the spotlight as they were here.

9. Timeshare by Vanessa Bishop (featuring the Sixth Doctor and Peri)

I wasn’t a huge fan of Vanessa Bishop’s contribution to the first Decalog, The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back. Its drama felt a little forced, there were some clunky writing decisions that made it a little too confusing to follow at times, and the whole thing also felt strangely truncated. Nonetheless, I went into Timeshare hoping that I would enjoy it more.

Thankfully, my hopes were vindicated.

Timeshare is a great deal of fun, and probably one of the strongest stories in Lost Property. I honestly think Bishop had a lot of potential, which is why it’s a bit of a shame that she apparently only ever wrote one other short story for Big Finish’s Short Trips: A Christmas Treasury anthology in 2004.

Still, there’s a lot to like here, starting with the way Timeshare handles its high-concept science-fiction premise. The property in this story is a sort of time-travelling timeshare, operated by an unnamed disreputable party who essentially allowed customers across time to “buy” the ability to stay there for one week. This is a neat idea, and the story explains it pretty clearly without ever becoming bogged down in the exposition. It’s a simple thing, but considering how many of these stories have had trouble with that so far, it’s appreciated.

There’s also a pretty neat twist to the general formulae that a lot of the stories in this collection have followed. The stories generally either start with the Doctor having suddenly remembered a house or piece of real estate that he happens to own (as in stories like Lonely Days or People of the Trees), or the house and its significance is revealed during the progression of a larger narrative. Timeshare initially looks like it’s going to go with the former, but it blends in a little bit of the latter by having the Doctor be unaware of his ownership of this particular house.

This all plays into the other big point in the story’s favour: the mystery elements. Bishop boldly sets up a number of plates that she has to keep spinning throughout Timeshare, and generally speaking, it’s a move that pays off.

I’ve spoken before about how it can be difficult to construct these kinds of weird, mind-bending sci-fi mysteries, because the universe is inherently not bound by such paltry trifles as the laws of physics or other things us mere denizens of reality have to contend with. It’s already difficult to make all the spinning plates of a regular mystery land in a satisfying way, even before you throw in uncertainty as to the laws of gravity.

In theory, I suppose one might expect me to chew out Timeshare for having its resolution come in the form of a convenient dose of exposition from a random, unnamed Time Lord. Honestly, though, I don’t mind it. Bishop demonstrates a knack for making the infodump feel like an actual conversation, so there’s a tad more elegance than you see in stuff like Prisoners of the Sun or The Nine-Day Queen.

It also helps that the aforementioned Time Lord is, himself, a lot of fun. I like the idea of a Time Lord who isn’t a stuffy old bureaucrat, a refined scholar or a stern military commander, but is just an ordinary, put-upon technician. He’s basically the Miles O’Brien of Gallifrey, which is the kind of character we never really got to see in the original show. The closest example that springs to mind is Neil Daglish as Damon in Arc of Infinity, but… yeah, what a memorable character he was.

Timeshare is also notable for being the first “proper” Sixth Doctor story from the Decalogs, after he took a turn as a guest star in The Golden Door in the first Decalog. Colin Baker’s performance definitely shines through the pages, and while his interactions with Peri are still a little combative at times, Bishop never overdoes it and knows when to rein things in before their conversations just become irredeemably unpleasant. Once again, it’s really interesting to see the progression of Wilderness Years authors steadily getting a better handle on how to approach this “black sheep” incarnation.

Finally, I rather liked the way the plot basically all just stemmed from a series of tiny, comical misunderstandings and errors which added up as the story went along. It really helped impart a sense of mounting tension to proceedings.

Timeshare is a return to good form for Lost Property after the slump represented by People of the Trees. It has just about everything going for it, and like I said earlier, it’s a shame this would ultimately be Bishop’s last Doctor Who short story for nearly a decade. In an ideal world, it would have been nice to see her get the chance to contribute a full-length novel. What we’re left with is still quite entertaining, so it’s hard to complain too much.

10. Question Mark Pyjamas by Robert Perry and Mike Tucker (featuring the Seventh Doctor, Ace and Benny)

And Lost Property rounds itself out with another debut. Or, rather, almost debut. Robert Perry and Mike Tucker had both already contributed a short story, Girls’ Night In, to Doctor Who Magazine‘s recurring series of Brief Encounter vignettes. Nonetheless, this is still early days for the duo who would become best known for their Seventh Doctor stories for BBC Books’ Past Doctor Adventures range.

Question Mark Pyjamas is, needless to say, a bit of an outlier in their career. It’s strange to see Tucker and Perry contribute a story to Virgin – let alone a story so rooted in the particulars of the New Adventures – when most of their subsequent BBC work would seem to try and present an “alternate” continuation of the Seventh Doctor’s televised tenure.

Not only does this story feature both Benny and the NAs’ so-called “New Ace,” but the “lost property” in question is the house on Allen Road that has been a recurring fixture of the books since Warhead. It’s funny, but I had honestly gotten so wrapped up in reviewing the previous nine stories that “Why don’t they feature the house in Kent?” never crossed my mind. Now that it’s appeared, it seems like the most obvious choice in existence.

Anyway, this is a nice piece of fluff to end the collection on. It’s very silly, and that may irk some people, but I found it enjoyable enough. The New Adventures have such a (perhaps somewhat overstated) reputation for being dark and edgy, so it’s nice that between Question Mark Pyjamas and The Trials of Tara, both of Lost Property‘s Seventh Doctor stories have been pretty light-hearted.

I don’t doubt that a lot of my enjoyment of this story’s comedy probably stems from my general affection for the regular cast line-up of the Doctor, Ace and Benny. If this were another set of characters I probably wouldn’t find it quite as enjoyable, but I read much of Question Mark Pyjamas with a smile on my face.

It helps that the general comedy of “villains trying to fit a TARDIS team this dysfunctional into the mould of a stereotypical domestic family” is also backed up by some wonderfully ludicrous imagery. The house on Allen Road being incongruously transported to a barren asteroid is already surreal enough, but stuff like the Doctor using a lawnmower to cut the non-existent grass or Ace bursting out of a garage on a Harley-Davidson is just the cherry on top of a bizarre sundae.

Mr Garpol and Mr Blint, the villains of the piece (and the only major guest characters to speak of), are rather broadly drawn. However, that feels only appropriate for a story like this and they’re still great fun as your typical Holmesian double act.

If I had any major criticisms, it would be that Benny doesn’t get quite as much to do as Ace or the Doctor. It’s possible to cynically view this as Tucker and Perry’s potential preferences for those two characters bleeding through, but I think that interpretation is a little too uncharitable.

After all, Benny does still get some great lines and is well-characterised, so I find it hard to complain too much. The two authors seem to have a good grip on where she fits into the dynamics of the trio, and that’s honestly not really something I can say for every New Adventures author.

Question Mark Pyjamas may not be the deepest story in Lost Property, but it still manages to be a goofy yet strangely heartwarming conclusion that provides a nice reminder of just why I love the New Adventures to begin with. In a way, this feels like the perfect story with which to conclude the first five years of Dale’s Ramblings.

Who could ask for much more than that?

Final Thoughts

So… how does this stack up against the original Decalog? Probably ever so slightly better, by my estimation. The average quality of the stories was about the same, with some really strong efforts standing shoulder-to-shoulder with much weaker ones.

What gives Lost Property the edge over the original, I would say, is the abandonment of the “one single story” concept. Things just flow a lot smoother when you can jump right into the next story and figure out how it ties into the collection’s overarching theme, rather than having to read a couple of pages of an extremely tangential framing sequence. This is the approach that most of the Decalogs (and the spiritual successor series, Short Trips) would go on to take, and it’s not hard to see why.

So, that concludes all the Decalog reviews that I will be doing at this point in time. I’ll obviously review the remaining three when I get to them, but I see no need to skip ahead. The next blog post you see on here will probably be the five-year anniversary post in October, where I’ll do another Virgin Adventure Revisitation on Paul Cornell’s No Future. A few weeks after that I’ll conclude Moffat Era Rewatch coverage over on Twitter, and hopefully get back into the swing of proper Virgin Adventure Reviews in 2023.

Thank you all for sticking with this blog, even though it’s been pretty inactive for the past year or so. Think of 2022 as something of a “gap year” for the VARs, if you like. I’m just very busy with starting university and such, but it means a lot that people still read my stuff.

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper