BBC Past Doctor Adventures Reviews: The Murder Game by Steve Lyons (or, “Shark Tale”)

The Murder Game is, by some considerable distance, the best Second Doctor novel to date.

In fact, unlike the last two occasions on which I have made this proclamation, its quality is sufficiently high that its attaining that distinction is actually meaningful in a sense beyond the strictly academic. This may not be the most ringing of critical endorsements possible, but under the circumstances, “not being actively terrible” ends up carrying BBC Books’ first outing for the cosmic hobo quite far.

Taken together with The Devil Goblins from NeptuneThe Murder Game forms the second half of a rather odd opening salvo for the Past Doctor Adventures. One might reasonably expect the fledgling line to try and put its best foot forward, as it were, in a manner akin to the commissioning of the widely-acclaimed Paul Cornell to write Goth Opera as the first Missing Adventure, or rehiring the man who started the New Adventures with Genesys to give his own take on the staggeringly popular Fourth Doctor in Evolution.

Still, the logic underpinning the decision to start with these specific Doctors isn’t, it must be said, quite so alien as to be wholly inexplicable. For all that nineties Doctor Who fandom might have been riding the crest of a proverbial counter-Pertwee wave, the UNIT Family remained an aspect of the show’s iconography that was still looked upon with a broad level of fondness.

There exists perhaps no better illustration of this paradox than the fact that Paul Cornell simultaneously served as one of the most prominent critics of the era – “They exiled the Doctor to Earth and made him a Tory” quickly having become one of the more quoted lines among those of us who are sad enough to spend our lives writing out thousands of words on decades-old science-fiction programmes, or even, heaven forfend, books based on said programme – and also one of the writers who most openly and frockishly embraced a certain affection for such characters as the Brigadier in books like No Future or Happy Endings.

All of that’s without even touching upon The Devil Goblins from Neptune itself, which Cornell had originally hoped to co-author alongside Keith Topping and Martin Day, and which had been structured from the very beginning as a deliberately gonzo and over-the-top love letter to the trappings of the UNIT years and, indeed, to a much larger tapestry of seventies popular culture in toto.

The Second Doctor, meanwhile, was pretty much going from strength to strength in the cutthroat arena of fan consensus through the nineties, as we touched upon in reviewing The Dark Path last time, and a not inconsiderable part of this acclaim can undoubtedly be put down to the prevalence among certain schools of fandom of a line of thinking which held that the fundamental purpose of Doctor Who was to tell cool stories involving monsters, preferably with some bases that could maybe be kinda sorta… put under siege, y’know?

For these fans, the Troughton Era is basically an absolute godsend, as there’s no shortage of stories that fit that mould contained within. It is, in many respects, the single era that can take the most credit for having spawned the monster-centric view of Doctor Who in the first place, to the point of having one of its seasons quite succinctly labelled the “Monster Season,” a season in which the show opted to simply transplant a different monster into a slightly reworked base under siege setting for thirty-four of its forty episodes.

(The remaining six episodes, naturally, ended up being seen as the runt of the litter for years, dismissed as a largely inconsequential bit of James Bond pastiche until about 2014 or so when people could actually properly watch the whole thing. Perhaps inevitably, vast tracts of fandom suddenly realised en masse that it was rather nice to have at least one story that was a bit of a departure from rehashing the exact same narrative logic week in and week out, and The Enemy of the World shot up in the estimations of the periodic Doctor Who Magazine “Best Story Ever” polls accordingly.)

With the dawn of regularly scheduled VHS releases courtesy of BBC Video – and, in the absence of any new televised Doctor Who, the mystical, arcane afterlife afforded the programme by home video took on an importance which is quite hard to grasp from today’s post-revival perspective – even those Troughton stories which had previously been considered wholly lost to time were becoming newly accessible for the first time, whether in the form of rediscovered Holy Grails like The Tomb of the Cybermen finally seeing release or collected specials like The Troughton Years or the predictably monster-centred Early Years specials for the Daleks and Cybermen.

Even The Invasion received a double-tape set in 1993, taking a leaf out of the playbook established by the previous year’s release of the abandoned Shada and providing linking narration from Nicholas Courtney to fill in the lost first and fourth episodes.

So if we’re willing to grudgingly allow the base economic realities of merchandising to inform our judgment here, it’s completely understandable why BBC Books might wish to slap the face of a strongly marketable Doctor like Patrick Troughton or Jon Pertwee onto some of the earliest books in their line of past Doctor novels and call it a day.

In the case of the Second Doctor, this had the added boon of making up for the Beeb’s having already released just about all of the stories that it was feasible for them to put out on VHS; it’s perhaps revealing that there wouldn’t be another Troughton story released on video until The Ice Warriors Box Set in November 1998, and that set would be followed by a similar four-year drought until The War Games came out as part of September 2002’s WH Smith-exclusive The Time Lord Collection.

(It’s perhaps altogether stranger that they should, over the course of the next few months, choose to blaze through all three of the eighties Doctors – who were, let’s face it, still widely defined in the eyes of the general public as being “the point where everything went wrong and they cancelled the show,” unfair as that generalisation might very well be – before even getting to a single Tom Baker novel. But then again, if the saga of Campaign is anything to go by, that might just be down to Jim Mortimore not being the best with deadlines and editorial notes…)

But for all that we’ve just about taken as read the unfortunate reality that the revocation of Virgin’s license was done for purely financial reasons when the British broadcast of the TV movie managed to achieve viewing figures that weren’t as soul-crushingly dismal as the dying days of the McCoy years, it would be a very tedious 152-book odyssey indeed if I chose to just hit the exact same note of anti-consumerist cynicism in talking about each and every BBC Books novel. Not wholly unearned, mind you, but tedious all the same.

As such, we might instinctively wish to broaden the scope of our analysis to include more overtly artistic considerations. After all, one of the other points that I’ve repeatedly returned to over the course of these first few reviews has been the notion that for all that the great hubbub over which publisher holds the Doctor Who license might lead us to try and treat the Virgin and BBC lines as wholly separate entities, it is functionally impossible to make such a distinction in completely absolutist terms, as there exist any number of substantial caveats in the form of ideas and personnel bleeding through from one to the other.

No matter how much one resists the impulse to treat The Murder Game as the secret fifth Missing Adventure to feature the Second Doctor, in spirit if not in letter, those first four MAs start inexorably to seep in through the borders of our perception, and it is that fact, ultimately, which makes The Murder Game such an oddity when placed in the context of a new line like the PDAs.

Because to put it bluntly, the goodwill enjoyed by the Troughton Era and its interminable procession of bases under siege in the 1990s did not seem to extend to its retroactive representation in the written word, and for confirmation of this we need look no further than the same issue of DWM that we looked at last time. How convenient.

You see, while I did see fit in reviewing The Dark Path to pore over the Second Doctor’s solid showing in the first of the magazine’s aforementioned “Best Story Ever” polls – managing, in case you forget, to place three stories in the top ten – I neglected to consider issue 265’s publication of a similar set of survey results for the New and Missing Adventures, where it’s fair to say that Troughton did not fare quite so well.

To be honest, the results shouldn’t really be anything too surprising to anybody who’s kept up with these reviews for a while, or even just consulted the final form of the Shannon Sullivan rankings, and I only really bring this 1998 poll up at all as it helps provide a snapshot of fandom opinion at a time closer to The Murder Game‘s original publication. If anything, Two actually fares slightly better here than he does in the Sullivan poll, only filling two of the bottom five slots rather than three. The highest-rated of his four adventures, The Dark Path, even manages to ever so slightly better its later position of tenth place, having originally sat at a truly mind-boggling ninth place.

It would perhaps be a bridge too far to argue that The Murder Game is somehow set up for failure from the jump as a result of the established pattern of Second Doctor novels meeting with a rather frosty reception, but it does seem fair to say that this pattern has placed some rather substantial preliminary hurdles for Steve Lyons to clear. Equally, however, there arises out of this disparity in fan reaction to the Troughton Era’s televised and prose-bound forms an interesting question: Why?

The most obvious answer would perhaps be to argue that the novels had simply strayed too far from the base under siege spirit that had made the original era so beloved, but if we put aside the obligatory snarky rejoinder questioning whether that can really be considered a bad thing – after all, stories like The Enemy of the World and The Mind Robber quite ably prove the Troughton Era to be capable of doing worthwhile things even on those occasions that it chose to push itself outside its comfort zone – we’re still confronted with the fact that the evidence for such an observation feels rather thin on the ground when you actually pause to examine the books themselves.

Invasion of the Cat-People expended a great deal of effort in trying to sell its titular storming of the Earth by reference to an attack on an isolated English manor house, in keeping with many a well-worn Doctor Who tradition. Although The Menagerie may have begun its life-cycle as a New Adventure, it was difficult not to look at the indestructible killing machines that were the Mecrim without feeling like they had practically been tailor-made for “monster” status in the classical Yeti/Ice Warrior/Cybermen/assorted nefarious foam sense. In hindsight, it’s frankly amazing that Christopher Bulis largely chose to sideline the Zarbi as much as he did in Twilight of the Gods, though that might speak more to that novel’s lack of any particularly urgent ambitions beyond “rehash The Web Planet and strip out all the compelling visual weirdness.”

Perhaps most tellingly of all, however, The Dark Path managed to become the consensus best Troughton novel – whether you’re using Sullivan or DWM as your metric – despite having one of the premises that conformed least strongly to the base under siege model, relating as it did the origin story of the Master against the backdrop of a lost colony of the Earth Empire, both concepts being firmly grounded in the Pertwee years.

In a few months’ time, we’ll even be looking at The Roundheads, achieving a similar level of success despite being a pure historical, a largely Hartnell-specific genre which Troughton only got one shot at on television with The Highlanders before Innes Lloyd and Gerry Davis decided to steer the show in a completely different direction.

No, in truth it is difficult to sincerely make the case that there exists any one singular, unifying reason behind the Troughton novels’ being so poorly received, except that most generic and fundamental of justifications: they’re bad.

Of course, there do exist a few common threads that fall under this umbrella. Confining a profoundly visual and animated performer like Patrick Troughton to the printed page proves predictably difficult for just about anybody who’s been foolhardy enough to make an attempt, while books like Invasion of the Cat-People and Twilight of the Gods lose sight of some of their more fantastical elements by choosing to deluge the audience in protracted explanations of the Menoptera’s capabilities of flight, or feeling the need to meticulously justify the existence of Cat-People in the first place rather than just choosing to roll with the insanity of it all.

But for the most part each book commits a litany of unique sins, so I suppose we should chalk up a few extra points on the side of originality if nothing else. Whether that be Christopher Bulis’ adopting an overly simplistic view of communism that felt almost totally irrelevant to the post-Cold War realities of 1996, or Gary Russell’s casually and uncritically dropping a fully blown slur against Aboriginal people on two separate occasions, one could rest assured that every book would find a whole new way to be distinctly unentertaining. Which strikes me as the definition of “cold comfort,” but I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.

The Murder Game, thankfully, is significantly better than its predecessors in just about any respect that I could care to name. It’s more tightly plotted and paced, more entertaining, wittier, and manages to more accurately evoke the on-screen personas of the Second Doctor and his companions. And yet, at the end of it all, I find myself curiously perplexed as to what to say beyond this rather general and perhaps ever so slightly inane declaration that it is, in fact, good. It’s certainly not that I’m especially conflicted as to its quality, but I suppose there exists a more general feeling that there may not be all that much of consequence bubbling underneath the novel’s slick surface.

Perhaps, on balance of the available evidence, this is simply a case of an author falling prey to the preconceptions and expectations that they’ve built up through their previous work. Not only is The Murder Game the fifth Patrick Troughton novel, but it’s also the fifth Steve Lyons novel, and it seems fair to comment that Lyons is an author whose past works have generally struck a chord with me to date.

Conundrum was a stunningly inventive sequel to The Mind Robber, taking the basic premise of the Land of Fiction and pushing it into corners that better suited the novel-based form that Doctor Who assumed throughout the 1990s. Its sequel, Head Games, effectively formed the entire crux of the New Adventures’ thematic arc, stating explicitly several ideas which had been bubbling away in the background since at least the time of Revelation and Love and War, and offering a treatise on just how far the Seventh Doctor had come since Sylvester McCoy first lay on the floor of the TARDIS in a dodgy wig and pretended to be Colin Baker.

Across the aisle in the Missing Adventures, Time of Your Life was an exceedingly unsubtle book that was nevertheless entirely necessary in allowing the Sixth Doctor novels to properly engage with and move on from the flaws of Season 22, without sparing fan culture from the blistering heat of its more pointed critiques.

Killing Ground built on the character of Grant Markham and inadvertently laid the groundwork for many a post-Trial Big Finish companion to come, while also telling one of the strongest Cyberman stories this side of The Invasion, and being one of the first such stories since The Tenth Planet to actually properly communicate the horror of the creatures that imbues them with a greater sense of identity than the mindless robots they increasingly became over the course of the classic series.

Perhaps the most appropriate way into The Murder Game proper, then, is to start with a broad strokes summary of the plot, as it might theoretically allow us to better ascertain the craft of Lyons’ writing. The Doctor, Ben and Polly track down a mysterious distress signal to the Hotel Galaxian, a space station in Earth orbit which, it quickly transpires, is rather rundown and almost completely deserted apart from a small group of tourists engaged in a murder mystery party.

Predictably enough, it gradually becomes apparent that there are real murders afoot, and in true Agatha Christie fashion, just about all of the hotel’s guests have plausible reasons for taking a life, as none of them are quite what they seem… Having gone through the necessary twists and turns, we gradually transition from a corporate espionage-tinged murder mystery into, you guessed it, a base under siege story involving a brand new monster of Lyons’ devising, and we just about stay in that lane until it comes time for everything to wrap up.

This concludes my analysis of The Murder Game‘s plot.

Well, OK, not quite. All the same, while things move along very cleanly and efficiently from point A to point B, there’s a distinct lack of meat on the narrative bones to really allow one to savour the journey along the way.

Now part of this leanness, admittedly, could quite feasibly be put down as a natural end result of the decision to emulate Christie’s novels, with a rather loosely drawn and almost archetypal collection of characters without much in the way of a personality beyond their immediate response to the situation at hand and a backstory that extends only as far as necessary to make them a credible suspect.

Certainly, Lyons has always been a Doctor Who writer who’s made no bones of his willingness to engage with the fictionality of the programme, as you’d expect from a writer whose debut novel saw fit to revive the concept of the Land of Fiction. But The Murder Game feels distinct in that it feels like the first time Lyons has really chosen to dabble in this sort of narratological play without wedding it to the semblance of a deeper purpose, or at least not one that’s readily apparent.

To give Lyons his due, there do exist a few points at which the novel feels like it’s gesturing to a more substantive engagement with the implications of its place on the larger canvas of Doctor Who. On the most obvious of levels, it’s one of only three Second Doctor novels to feature Ben and Polly travelling in the TARDIS before the arrival of Jamie in The Highlanders, with the only previous example being Invasion of the Cat-People.

With his appearing in a full 112 episodes – 116 when taking into account later guest spots in The Five Doctors and The Two Doctors – and joining the cast just six episodes into the Troughton Era, Jamie’s presence is virtually synonymous with the Second Doctor, and the decision to slot a story into that lone, transitory period between The Power of the Daleks and The Highlanders in which the character is absent from proceedings inevitably winds up making something of a statement in and of itself.

The most immediate beneficiaries of the faithful Scotsman’s absence, naturally, are Ben and Polly, who are in many respects the sixties companions most poorly served by the BBC’s junking policy. Of the nine serials in which they appeared, only The War Machines survived the archival purges of the 1960s and 1970s intact, and at the time of The Murder Game‘s publication in July 1997, the representation of their tenure – excepting their aforementioned debut in The War Machines just one month prior – on home video was confined to the release of the two surviving episodes of The Moonbase as a part of the Cybermen: The Early Years special, and a few clips from The Tenth Planet featured in The Troughton Years.

And so this leaves the characters in a rather strange and disconnected limbo, caught between two eras. On the one hand, their only sharing three stories with William Hartnell, all of which lead directly into one another, greatly limits the extent to which they can be meaningfully associated with the First Doctor.

When Stephen Cole eventually decides to base a novel around that trio in 2002’s Ten Little Aliens – whose titling, ironically enough, pulls from Christie in an altogether different and more uncomfortable fashion – it casually throws a sizeable wrench in the series’ continuity, to the point where Big Finish’s 2006 anthology Farewells will have to devote Ian Potter’s The Three Paths to explaining how the TARDIS’ materialisation at “the coldest place in the world” at the end of The Smugglers is not actually a signifier of its arrival at Snowcap Base at all.

But at the same time, their role in the Troughton Era was so quickly subsumed by the spur-of-the-moment promotion of Frazer Hines to the regular cast that they never comfortably fit with the lasting image of the Second Doctor’s tenure either.

They were characters ostensibly grounded in something approaching contemporary 1960s London – at the very least, London as filtered through the eyes of two well-off British men in their thirties who probably never saw the interior of an establishment like the Inferno in their life – in a way that hadn’t really been seen since the time of Ian and Barbara, what with Dodo’s introduction having come in the form of a hastily tacked-on coda at the end of The Massacre that was so fleeting that a particularly inattentive audience member tuning in to watch The Ark a week later might very well have just assumed her to be a rather transparent Susan stand-in, to the point of casting an actress who had initially auditioned for that role back in 1963.

(It’s a little revealing that Lyons’ third PDA, Salvation, sees fit to flesh out this barebones introduction and theoretically add some connective tissue between the two stories so as to more firmly establish Dodo as a “sixties character.”)

Crucially, however, they also don’t fit with the rest of Troughton’s companions. We have, in order, a Scottish piper from the time of the Battle of Culloden, a prim and proper Victorian orphan, and an academic prodigy with an eidetic memory hailing from an unspecified era so drenched in sixties retrofuturism that her place of employment is said to be the gloriously incongruous Parapsychology Library.

If there are any stabs made by The Murder Game towards greater depth, then, the bulk of them arise out of the fundamental oddity of this period in the show’s history, with the future of the programme hanging over the narrative in a very substantial way. The distress call that brings the Doctor to the Galaxian is only able to be picked up by the TARDIS thanks to its using a frequency supplied by a future Doctor to some unknown agency, with the strong implication that said agency is none other than UNIT.

At another point, in a rather cute in-joke, Thomas’ search for any record of Geoff Hornby in the accumulated knowledge base of Earth turns up empty, and the murder mystery party organiser bashfully admits that he adopted the moniker of Hornby as a pseudonym due to his being saddled with the unlikely name of John Smith; for added irony, we ought perhaps to remember that the first use of that particular alias for the Doctor not only came about in a future Troughton story, but was arbitrarily supplied for him second-hand by Jamie.

There are other touches, too, that serve to underscore the sense that the Second Doctor, and the Troughton Era as a whole, are in a curiously embryonic stage of development here. Polly jokingly asks if Ben would prefer the Doctor to be “some bluff old sea captain with an eyepatch and a parrot on his shoulder, barking out orders,” a not-so-subtle nod towards the production team’s original vision for the incarnation.

(The idea of having Troughton play the role in blackface thankfully goes unmentioned.)

Terri’s conversations with Ben about his travels in the TARDIS make reference not only to the Cybermen’s invasion of the Gravitron’s moonbase in 2070, as seen in… The Moonbase, but also make a point of highlighting Ben’s ignorance of the Ice Warriors, a creation of the Monster Season well and truly post-dating the character’s time on the show.

Even the Galaxian itself seems to serve as something of a harbinger of the current companion duo’s future, with its presentation as a run-down and neglected spot of tourist accomodation, having been outmoded by the increased affordability of space travel, serving to confirm it as a clear stand-in for the real-world downturn in fortunes enjoyed by the types of holiday camps that informed The Macra Terror. Conversely, that same downturn was occasioned by the burgeoning possibilities presented by the rise of package deals to make air travel a feasible vacation alternative for middle-class Britons, and the show would ultimately pull from that concept to separate Ben and Polly from the TARDIS in The Faceless Ones.

There’s a clear sense that The Murder Game is willing to have a bit of fun at the expense of the flawed vision of the 1960s that Ben and Polly represent, what with moments like Polly’s overenthusiastic exclamation of “Groovy!” to a particularly garish bit of psychedelically-coloured clothing, which also serves – surely unintentionally, given the timeframe – as a slightly surreal reminder that yes, the Austin Powers movies were proving to be a modest box-office success story over in the United States at about this time. At another point, Hornby’s resigned nonchalance to the loss of one of his contact lenses is met with a reaction of stunned disbelief on Polly’s part on account of how expensive such an item must surely be.

Viewed in this light, and when placed against The Devil Goblins from Neptune‘s rather charming commitment to being the most seventies book under the sun, we might very well wish to re-examine the proposal I made earlier about the first two Past Doctor Adventures serving as a loose thematic double-header, although in typical Doctor Who fashion this does mean that we seem to have tackled the seventies before getting to the sixties.

Unfortunately for The Murder Game, however, it lacks much of the gonzo charm that elevated the work of Topping and Day. It has just about enough wit to remain broadly entertaining and never becomes outright boring, yet the insights it has into the Second Doctor’s tenure feel frustratingly superficial. You mean to tell me that the character was different at the end of The War Games from the bumbling, Chaplin-esque figure who spent his first couple stories being enthusiastic about hats and dressing up in drag? Well I’ll be…

Some of this, perhaps, is down to a broader trend in Lyons’ output that really seems to take root here, with The Murder Game being the first of four consecutive books from the writer to be a Past Doctor Adventure, though Killing Ground may have been an early omen of this sea change in retrospect.

By their very nature, the MAs/PDAs generally tend towards a more narratively conservative aesthetic than their NA/EDA counterparts, and it might bear remarking upon the fact that all four of Lyons’ PDAs from this period are consciously set in the earliest days of the programme, with an even split between First and Second Doctor novels.

When he eventually makes his return to the franchise’s present with The Space Age in May 2000, he will do so in a book saturated in the iconography of the sixties, down to affording a prominent role for the conflict between the mods and the rockers that so animated British youth culture in the early years of that decade. The Crooked World chooses classic cartoon characters as the chief setting for its own metafictional romp.

So there are, to my mind, three main possibilities to account for this apparent stylistic shift. The first, and by far the easiest, reading would be to declare Lyons nothing more than a washed-up hack whose best days are behind him, but this feels unnecessarily spiteful and not really in keeping with the general tone I like to maintain for these reviews.

More to the point, with the notable exception of The Space Age managing to place in the bottom ten EDAs by the reckoning of Sullivan, it seems that the bulk of Lyons’ books past this point are pretty well-liked, and in the case of The Witch Hunters, even actively loved. Loath as I am to appeal to fan consensus – although to be candid, the reason I’ve increasingly come to reference the Sullivan rankings basically just boils down to the paucity of critical or documentary literature when it comes to the BBC Books lines – a writer who manages two entries in the top ten PDAs, and was turning out books on the level of Killing Ground just one year prior, must surely have something going for them and therefore seems an ill fit for the “hack” label.

(The Murder Game, incidentally, is the lowest-rated of Lyons’ four contributions to the series, and it still only falls at #26 out of 70.)

Taking a more personal approach, it’s not inconceivable that I might have simply grown tired of this particular brand of meta humour. Certainly, I was never meta humour’s most tireless soldier to begin with, to the point where I opened my review of Conundrum back in checks calendar July 2019 – sweet Jesus where does the time go – with the sentence “Meta humour is something I don’t typically like.” It’s not inconceivable that the third reference to the infamous Nicholas Courtney eyepatch anecdote in eighteen months might simply fail to raise much of a smile in me because, well, I just don’t find it all that funny.

But the final possibility, and the one with the most unnerving implications for these new Doctor Who novels, is that The Murder Game simply represents the logical outcome when you combine Steve Lyons’ brand of comedy and metatextuality with the BBC Books edict not to be like Virgin.

The same company that thought it was honestly a good idea to launch its new range of Eighth Doctor Adventures with a novel as deeply wretched as The Eight Doctors is never in a million years going to allow Lyons anything close to the caustic, jagged autocritique of Angela’s death in Time of Your Life, or the image of a revenge-crazed Sixth Doctor strangling the Seventh and accusing him of “suicide in the first degree.”

And so you get The Murder Game instead.

Yet to a certain extent, as we hinted at earlier, the case can probably be made that this entire review is really just an example of me being the choosiest of beggars. At the end of the day, the opening sentence of this review still holds true; it’s difficult to argue that The Murder Game is not a more satisfying and well-rounded reading experience than something like The Dark Path, for all that that novel’s Masterly antics might appeal more blatantly to fans.

This is a fun, easy read with better characterisation of the era’s regulars than anyone besides McIntee has really managed in a full-length novel thus far, and if someone told me that this was to be the new baseline of quality for the Troughton books moving forward, I’d find it tough to be too disappointed. But equally, given just how much I had enjoyed Lyons’ past work, I do remain faintly disappointed nevertheless that The Murder Game didn’t turn out a little better.

Ah well. At least it doesn’t have any racial slurs. The bar really is in hell, isn’t it?

Miscellaneous Observations

Didn’t really touch on the Selachians, making their first appearance in the flesh after the Cybermen commandeered one of their vessels in Killing Ground, but they’re a solid addition to the Doctor Who rogues’ gallery. In concept and name, they seem to be a very clear attempt to give the BBC books a monster in the same lane as the Chelonians, arguably the first properly successful novel-original alien race, and the book even seems to contain a veiled nod to the NA stalwarts when Ben finds himself confronted by a “life-sized effigy of a green, humanoid, tortoise-like creature.”

The idea of a race of aliens who actively play up to the exaggerated associations in the human mind connecting sharks with danger is a clever one, too, although like many of The Murder Game‘s other neat ideas – including an execution of the perrennially 1990s fear of “What if the increasing globalisation of the Internet kills us all?” that actually manages to lead to some enjoyable set pieces that have probably aged better than most of the stuff in System Shock – it gets a bit lost in the shuffle.

I don’t mind the book’s portrayal of Ben and Polly on the whole, and the choice to commit wholeheartedly to a “will they? won’t they?” dynamic in a more substantive way than the BBC of 1966 were ever likely to allow is a logical one, but the attempts to create a love triangle with Terri feel just as forced as… well, most other love triangles, come to think of it. Not only is it the most bog-standard and predictable way to create conflict in a relationship like this, but it’s used as a springboard to an even more predictable “Will Ben leave the TARDIS and settle down in the twenty-second century?” routine.

Spoilers: He doesn’t. Which, given The Dalek Invasion of Earth is scheduled for just twenty years after the events on the Galaxian, is probably the very definition of a missed bullet, actually. Missed extermination ray. Whatever.

If we were in Lyons’ Conundrum era, I’d expect him to make a much bigger deal out of the presence of a red-haired character named Daphne in a mystery story. As is, we’re all at least in agreement that amateurish, upper-crust thespian Lord Henry Mace is a not-so-thinly-veiled nod to The Visitation, right?

Final Thoughts

An interesting one, this. I started out feeling much more positively disposed towards the book but became increasingly confused as time went by. Hopefully I managed to work it all out to some semblance of a satisfying conclusion. This was also a bit of a shorter piece, and I imagine as the books wear on those will start to creep in more and more; given how many of these recent books have lent themselves to rather exhaustive analysis, both good and bad, I suppose it was only inevitable that we’d eventually run across a book about which I had a little less to say.

Regardless, join me next time as we follow up a murder mystery in space with… oh, a murder mystery in space. Yes folks, Dave Stone returns to the New Adventures with Ship of Fools, next time on Dale’s Ramblings. But until that time…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

BBC Eighth Doctor Adventures Reviews: Vampire Science by Jonathan Blum and Kate Orman (or, “Hard SF?”)

There’s certainly something to be said for originality in media criticism, and nowhere is this more important than in cases where one has adopted a method of writing wholly dependent on a stream of tumbling associations stemming from a choice opening statement. As you’ve probably managed to surmise if you’ve stuck around these parts for long enough, or even just read the title of the blog and its increasingly imprecise tagline, “Ramblings about anything,” that’s exactly the situation I’ve concocted for myself.

That’s not a complaint by any means, and I wouldn’t really have it any other way. It’s a method that largely works for me, if only on the level of my own personal enjoyment. I try my best to ensure that I’m not the only one feeling gratified by the whole process, but sometimes it can be a bit of a shot in the dark.

And sometimes this sense of throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks extends to the act of choosing a metaphorical point of entry with which to introduce a given review. While the finer details of the process are largely irrelevant for my purposes today – particularly given I already delved into said details not too long ago in the opening to my piece on Burning Heart, and I do broadly try to avoid repeating myself too egregiously wherever possible – suffice it to say that I don’t always sit down with some divine spark of inspiration and find all my arguments flowing forth with reckless abandon. On the contrary, I’ve talked before about how it can sometimes take me a few tries to really find an opening angle that I’m satisfied with.

At the risk of lending the current proceedings an unnecessarily melodramatic tone, today is not one of those occasions.

Vampire Science is the second novel to be published as part of BBC Books’ Eighth Doctor Adventures series. As these things go, this is probably the second-most important fact about it, surpassed only by the observation that the first instalment in the series was The Eight Doctors. For originality’s sake, I would very much like to be able to put together a take on the novel that isn’t overwhelmingly informed by these two facts, but the simple fact of the matter is that this is functionally impossible.

No small part of this impossibility, of course, is down to The Eight Doctors being pretty unanimously panned by fandom, and not unjustifiably so. It honestly numbers among the most mind-numbing and tedious reads I’ve ever had the misfortune of sitting through as a part of this project.

Where the very best of the Wilderness Years novels could just about make a claim to standing on their own two feet as pieces of solid science fiction even beyond their connections to Doctor WhoThe Eight Doctors embodied just about every bad trait that one might expect of a series of tie-ins based on a cancelled piece of niche British sci-fi esoterica, being drenched in continuity, needlessly petty pot-shots at pieces of the franchise that didn’t meet with Terrance Dicks’ approval, and a frightful amount of sexism.

So it’s fair to say that, as beginnings go, things could have gone better, which actually serves as the perfect segue into talking about Vampire Science. If you dig around those corners of the Internet where the Eighth Doctor Adventures are regularly discussed, you’ll come across one particularly relevant opinion with a decent amount of regularity, almost always phrased as one of many variations of: “You can just start with Vampire Science.”

Certainly, the gulf between how the two novels have been received is a striking one. Where Dicks’ much-maligned attempt at a debut sits squarely in third-from-last according to the Sullivan rankings, Vampire Science manages to sit at a frankly phenomenal fourteenth place. Even if you put The Eight Doctors aside for a moment, as far as the first six EDAs to be released in 1997 are concerned, the only book to achieve a higher ranking is, predictably enough, Lawrence Miles’ Alien Bodies.

If you want to find the consensus third-best book of the year, you have to scroll as far down as forty-third place before you hit Paul Leonard’s Genocide. But perhaps the most intriguing comparison here can be made when one places the book against its contemporary over at Virgin. Where Matthew Jones’ Beyond the Sun achieved a rating of 75.8%, Vampire Science sits at 75.4%. Both books, if they were ranked relative to the Doctor-led New Adventures, would slot into the exact same gap between Return of the Living Dad and Happy Endings, or eighteenth and nineteenth place for those of us who can’t read the base code of the universe.

What we’re looking at here, then, is a rare occasion where the fandom consensus as to the comparative merits of Virgin and BBC Books’ respective offerings for a given month is largely in alignment, even if it is kind of telling that the figure for Vampire Science is extrapolated from 268 votes while Beyond the Sun manages a measly eighty-seven.

Putting our hindsight goggles to one side for the moment, and pretending we know absolutely nothing about Dalek history retcons or Wars in Heaven, it isn’t unreasonable on the basis of this evidence to assume that The Eight Doctors might have just been a regrettable fluke, and that it wasn’t such a pipe dream to have a vision of the Wilderness Years where there could be two major publishers turning out original, novel-length Doctor Who fiction co-existing side by side, even if the one had been forced by the other to avoid referencing any of those concepts with a more overt grounding in Doctor Who.

There’s a temptation here to disappear down this train of thought and get caught up in offering possible alternative histories of what might have been, which is a revealing impulse in and of itself. After all, we’ve touched on it in passing before, whether in reference to the age-old debate of whether Oh No It Isn’t! was a financially shrewd starting point for the new, Bernice-led NAs, or in questioning what The Devil Goblins from Neptune could have looked like had Paul Cornell stuck around to co-author it alongside his Discontinuity Guide cadre.

At each juncture, we’ve roundly dismissed the idea as being a rather unfruitful avenue, due in no small part to the BBC Books era still being something of a black spot when it comes to any sort of definitive, behind-the-scenes coverage, at least by the standards that we usually see elsewhere in Doctor Who‘s history. With the Virgin novels, I can refer back to books like David J. Howe’s The Who Adventures, and even the New Adventures’ post-Doctor Who era has been explored in a pretty exhaustive level of detail thanks to Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story.

The Eighth Doctor Adventures, meanwhile, are made conspicuous by their lack of any such convenient reference work. It’s easy enough to ascertain the broad outlines of the series’ production if you put in a decent amount of research, but it’s a scattered endeavour, often entailing the piecing together of offhand comments made in interviews on websites so old and janky as to be barely functional in today’s day and age, provided they haven’t simply become completely inaccessible without the aid of something like the Wayback Machine.

All of which serves as a roundabout way of building up to the biggest question mark hovering over these early EDAs: the editorship of Nuala Buffini. If my repeated comparison between Peter Darvill-Evans and Rebecca Levene’s stewardship of the New and Missing Adventures to Michael Piller over on Star Trek: The Next Generation – mostly on account of their quite famously fostering an “open submissions” policy for their respective series – holds any water at all, then the only logical reference point I can think of as a means of illustrating the strangely elusive nature of Buffini’s tenure would be the example of Michael Wagner, who served as executive producer for the first four episodes of TNG‘s third season before quickly handing the reins over to Piller.

In a similar fashion, it’s seemingly generally agreed that Buffini only ever actually commissioned six books in total, those being the first five EDAs as well as the book that would eventually become John Peel’s Legacy of the Daleks, approved at the same time as War of the Daleks. Once you reach Alien Bodies, you’re firmly in the realm of those books that were instead commissioned by Buffini’s successor, Stephen Cole, who had been moved from a position as the editor of BBC Worldwide’s pre-school magazines.

By all accounts, Buffini was not an avowed fan of Doctor Who, largely having secured the job by dint of already holding a position at BBC Books into which the newly reacquired Who license could be comfortably slotted as an additional part of her responsibilities. This presented the line with something of a problem right off the bat, although it’s the type of problem where it’s regrettably easy for fandom to fall prey to some of its sillier impulses and consequently misdiagnose the issue completely.

Let’s begin by making one thing clear: Buffini’s lack of a pre-existing fandom is not inherently problematic in a situation like this. In actual fact, sometimes a franchise can run for so long that a fresh pair of eyes is exactly what’s needed. To stay on our established “Star Trek comparison” kick, director Nicholas Meyer has talked quite openly about not being able to get a handle on the series and its fictional world due to his personal unfamiliarity until coming to the epiphany that it was “Horatio Hornblower in space,” and for all that certain segments of fandom might have initially resisted some of his more controversial stylistic flourishes, you’d be hard-pressed these days to find a fan who doesn’t consider The Wrath of Khan to be a monumentally important and influential piece of Star Trek.

But there are, inevitably, a few rather significant differences between these two situations. Most superficially, the relative influence of science-fiction fandom over the creative process in the early 1980s was considerably smaller than it was in the mid-to-late 1990s. Yes, the oral history of Star Trek throughout the 1970s had invariably been one expressed in the language of the convention circuit rather than the television studio, but there was nothing approaching the level of organisation exemplified by Usenet groups like “rec.arts.drwho” – or even, for that matter, “alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die.”

Moreover, Doctor Who was stuck in a phase of its lifecycle where fan culture was the singular driving force lending it any semblance of staying power – if terms like “staying power” can even be said to be relevant in relation to a cancelled television show – and the New Adventures, for all that they had never been what you might call “uncontroversial,” had fostered a sizeable fandom all their own.

The last thing that was going to go over well was anything that could be interpreted as an overt signal that the revocation of Virgin’s license was a decision with little forethought put into it beyond the usual corporate considerations of profit maximisation, and in the hasty assignment of editorial duties to Buffini, that’s pretty much exactly what they got.

It should be reiterated here that it is pretty much impossible to blame Buffini herself for any of this, at least without descending into a rather unappealing sort of wilful ignorance and deliberate disingenuity. If anything, it’s hard not to feel some measure of sympathy for her; she had found herself in a situation that was essentially unwinnable, and for all that we might have come down hard on the first book of her short-lived stint as editor, the overwhelming sense one got in reading The Eight Doctors was that the blame for its many, many faults lay squarely at the feet of Terrance Dicks, not Nuala Buffini.

Yet at the end of all of this, we’re still left with the task of trying to discern something approaching a unifying aesthetic for what our inner fannish impulses inexorably pull us towards calling the “Buffini Era.” As you might have already surmised, this is the kind of task which is self-defeating to an almost comical degree, as it’s difficult to convincingly argue that the Buffini Era ever really existed in any meaningful sense.

The exact timeline of events is, again, characteristically murky, but I can certainly find reference to Buffini’s replacement by Cole in a posting to Doctor Who News dated June 22, 1997, just under three weeks after the publication of The Eight Doctors and The Devil Goblins from Neptune. By the time Vampire Science hit shelves on July 7, all indications are that Buffini was already on her way out.

With all of that being said, there do remain some very loose recurring motifs that can be discerned throughout these first five books, which might perhaps be seen to gesture at the larger shape of the EDAs’ initial form. Perhaps the most notable of these motifs is a certain preoccupation with some of the more iconic elements of the television programme’s storied history.

This probably manifests most visibly in The Eight Doctors and John Peel’s two Dalek novels, which is rather unfortunate for anyone trying to make a case in defence of the Buffini Era’s ambitions given the universal revulsion with which those books were greeted, though again the sense remains that the faults of these books lie more with their individual authors.

Even outside of these three proverbial whipping boys of the early range, though, a book like The Bodysnatchers not only positions itself as a sequel to Terror of the Zygons, but also features the return of fan favourite Professor George Litefoot from The Talons of Weng-Chiang, clearly taking its cues from the much-vaunted “Golden Age” that was the Hinchcliffe and Holmes years. Genocide is perhaps less explicitly fannish in scope, and yet it still foregrounds the return of iconic Pertwee Era companion Jo Grant in a story that offers a glimpse of her life post-The Green Death.

Against that backdrop, Vampire Science can’t help but feel like a rather strange outlier. While it might feature the return of the vampires that had been injected into Doctor Who‘s rather gonzo conception of Time Lord history and mythology in State of Decay, vampirism as a concept is nebulous enough that it can support a range of interpretations in a way that more definitively Doctor Who-ish monsters like the Daleks or the Zygons can’t, at least without a conscious retooling.

Indeed, it’s quite illuminating that the biggest continuity touchstone for Vampire Science actually seems to be the 1996 TV movie. Not only does the book consciously bring the Eighth Doctor back to San Francisco, but it was originally structured as something of a direct sequel to the events at the turn of the millennium, being centred around the return of Daphne Ashbrook’s character of Grace Holloway before it became apparent that the complicated rights situation between the BBC, Fox and Universal would not permit such a development, and Grace was reworked to become Carolyn McConnell.

(This is, in its own way, a pretty fitting encapsulation of the sheer surreality that the Eighth Doctor’s tenure gradually descended into, being splintered so far across the mediums of comics, books and eventually audio dramas that even the only definite televisual document of the Era – with the sincerest of apologies to any The Night of the Doctor enjoyers in the audience – remains curiously inaccessible on a fundamental level. A similar kind of logic would also seem to be at play in the EDAs’ curious reticence to display Paul McGann’s likeness on the front cover, which was rumoured in contemporary fandom circles to be the result of a similar legal tangle, at least until the time of Demontage in March 1999, a full twenty books into the line.)

The idea of building out an incoming Doctor from their introductory story is the kind of thing that seems rather self-evident, particularly when one is operating at as much of a stylistic and creative remove as the EDAs are from the Segal TV movie. Sure, there exist any number of counterexamples one could point to of a new Doctor’s era being defined in direct opposition to the story that properly introduces them; the tone of the McCoy years owed far more to Paradise Towers than it did Time and the Rani, while the Alien-prefiguring body horror of The Ark in Space was to prove a more accurate guide for the Hinchcliffe years than the last fading echoes of the UNIT family in Robot.

Most of the time, though, these divergences are readily explicable as a consequence of the realities of television production, with a few stray scripts being held over from the administration of the departing editor and/or producer. With a medium like prose, which differs in several basic respects from television and isn’t bound by the same constant, grinding pressures that grip the writers’ room on a weekly programme, there’s really no reason why some of the more workable aspects of the TV movie can’t be used as a springboard upon which to build future adventures.

As is, The Eight Doctors seemed almost spiteful towards the television movie, wasting no time deriding the whole farrago as “a weird, fantastic adventure, full of improbable, illogical events” before nitpicking the plot, questioning how the Eye of Harmony had ended up in the Doctor’s TARDIS, or the Master’s means of entry into the ship.

It’s not necessarily that any of this is an inherently invalid stance for Dicks to take – Lord knows there are any number of completely valid and reasonable criticisms that can be levelled at the TV movie – but as the bedrock upon which an entire novel range would have to be built, it was an atttitude that was at best extremely unhelpful, and at worst downright mean-spirited.

More than anything else, this is the essence of the divide between The Eight Doctors and Vampire Science that fandom hints at whenever it warns prospective EDA readers to simply start with the second novel. Orman and Blum have constructed a novel that is not just a solidly entertaining piece of Doctor Who in its own right, but a thoughtful and considered response to the hurdles facing the EDAs at this early stage of their development.

Perhaps most damningly of all for The Eight Doctors, however, the tricks they pull are all rather obvious and elementary ones; they’re certainly no less entertaining or effective for that obviousness, but they still only serve to make Dicks’ apparent inability to hit even these rather basic beats all the more galling.

Appropriately enough, then, one of the more interesting places to jump into Vampire Science is with the treatment of the titular vampires themselves. As we’ve already hinted at, by 1997 they’ve been a part of Doctor Who‘s fictional world for a little over a decade and a half, and you can quite easily round that figure up to nearer twenty years if you squint and choose to take The Witch Lords/The Vampire Mutations into consideration, those being the preliminary forms of State of Decay that had been abandoned when the BBC higher-ups grew nervous of the scripts’ detracting from the broadcaster’s more earnest high-profile adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

Consequently, despite the fact that State of Decay was ultimately one of the earliest stories produced under the aegis of John Nathan-Turner, its formulation of the vampires at the heart of its narrative was firmly rooted in the Gothic horror sensibilities of Philip Hinchcliffe and Robert Holmes, pulling not just from Stoker’s original novel but from the wave of successful Christopher Lee films released by Hammer Film Productions from the 1950s through to the 1970s.

When the time came for Doctor Who to be cancelled and the series made the move to the printed page, it seemed inevitable that someone would eventually choose to revisit the idea of vampires, particularly given the veritable glut of vampire fiction that seized popular culture throughout the 1990s.

What was perhaps more surprising, however, was that the series should largely choose to hew to the more traditionalist, Hammer-esque approach favoured by Dicks, in spite of the rather substantial leaps and bounds made by the vampire aesthetic in the intervening years.

(Well OK, it’s not that surprising, given two of the more substantive efforts at offering a State of Decay sequel came in the form of Blood Harvest and The Eight Doctors. “Terrance Dicks sticks to his established style,” stop the presses!)

Providing a complete portrait of this evolution and the intertwining of vampirism with the burgeoning Gothic subculture and eventually more conventional forms of geekdom would, quite frankly, be a far more involved and complex task than is probably feasible within the bounds of this review, but it’s an easy enough development to trace from a broad strokes perspective.

Certainly, elements of the vampiric were always a natural fit for the typical concerns and styles associated with those Gothic rock outfits that began to sweep the British music scene in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and this influence can be quite plainly seen in some of the movement’s more influential singles, whether that be Bauhaus’ nine-minute epic “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” or the Birthday Party’s “Release the Bats.”

As such, it was hardly surprising that the Gothic scene’s real explosion in popularity should be accompanied by a certain retooling of the classic vampire archetype. Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire may have seen print in 1976, but it didn’t properly give rise to the sprawling, multi-volume Vampire Chronicles series we know today until the publication of The Vampire Lestat in 1985.

Two years earlier, Tony Scott had made his feature-length directorial debut with 1983’s The Hunger; based on a novel of the same name by future Communion author Whitley Strieber and boasting a star-studded cast that included Catherine Deneuve, Susan Sarandon and David Bowie, the film quickly became something of a cult classic among Goths everywhere, despite meeting with a decidedly more chilly reception from critics, being labelled “an agonizingly bad vampire movie” by Roger Ebert.

In 1987, Joel Schumacher’s The Lost Boys proved a more critically and commercially successful endeavour, grossing $32.2 million on a budget of $8.5 million; interviewed for a retrospective on the film in 2019, screenwriter James Jeremias would directly cite Rice’s Interview with the Vampire – and specifically the character of Claudia – as a key source of inspiration.

By the 1990s, then, vampires were primed to stage a not-so-bloodless coup and take the entertainment world by storm, buoyed even further by such milestones as the publication of the massively successful tabletop role-playing game Vampire: The Masquerade by White Wolf in 1991, to say nothing of the hugely successful 1994 film adaptation of Interview with the Vampire, which became the ninth highest-grossing film of the year and accrued two Academy Award nominations. In 1998, Marvel Enterprises would find their first major commercial success on the big screen with Stephen Norrington’s Blade, starring Wesley Snipes in the title role.

On television, even The X-Files proved unable to resist the allure of the haemovoric undead; despite Chris Carter’s insistence upon signing his initial contract with Fox that he “didn’t want to do something limited to vampires,” the show devoted its first Scully-free hour of television to Glen Morgan and James Wong’s 3, pitting Mulder against a vampiric coven wreaking havoc in sun-drenched California. Seven months after the publication of Vampire Science, Vince Gilligan would offer a decidedly more comedic – and, it must be said, far more successful – take on the subject with the gleefully format-bending Bad Blood.

All of this, however, is really just a case of avoiding the elephant in the room, because if you’re going to have any sort of conversation touching on the intersection of geek culture with vampires in the 1990s, you’re always going to come back around to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Premiering for a truncated twelve-episode season in March 1997 after the cancellation of Aaron Spelling’s prime time soap opera Savannah, the series quickly established itself as a ratings winner for the fledgling WB network, securing the channel’s highest ever Monday night viewing figures and bringing with it a whole new teenage demographic, paving the way for later shows geared for a similar audience including Dawson’s CreekFelicity and Charmed.

What’s most striking about Vampire Science, viewed in this light, is the sheer extent to which Orman and Blum have chosen to frame their vampires in relation to the decade’s rapidly-evolving pop cultural milieu. Harris bemoans Slake’s shamelessly taking inspiration from Lestat and “that Masquerade card game,” while Slake himself gleefully contemplates turning Anne Rice as part of his grand vampiric rampage through the streets of San Francisco, and his compatriots lust over Deborah Duchêne’s Janette in re-runs of Forever Knight.

(In fact, Vampire Science is actually so conversant with nineties vampire fiction that it even manages to work in a namecheck of James Marsters’ Spike from Buffy, which is rather impressive when one considers that the character wouldn’t even appear until School Hard in late September 1997, some two months after the book saw print.)

But the sense that these vampires are inextricably linked to a distinctly nineties sensibility extends even beyond a few choice pop culture references, and it’s here that Vampire Science really shines, as its vampires seem to resemble nothing so much as walking, talking embodiments of the decade’s peculiar premillennial ennui.

One of the smarter decisions Orman and Blum make here is to not play the obvious card and have the “turning” of the humans come about by violent means, a decision which Vampire Science consciously lampshades when the Doctor is suspected to have been converted after his bloodfasting with Joanna. “Do we know for sure that it’s the bite that changes people?” James muses.

It’s quite telling that perhaps the most shocking vampire bite sequence in the entire novel, the attack upon Sam by Weird Harold, exists in complete isolation from the big “human gets turned to the side of the vampires” plotline, which is instead foisted upon poor old David Shackle, who ends up completely broken down and ready to be vampirised through the application of no grosser violence than the gradual corrosion of his belief in the inherent worthiness of life.

In actual fact, Shackle’s arc might just be one of the most stirring things contained within Vampire Science, and it’s surely a strong contender for one of the most beautiful things Kate Orman has ever written, which is certainly no small feat. When he’s initially introduced, he just seems like your standard melodramatic cynic, waxing poetic about the “trickle-down theory of social unrest” and refusing to believe that Sam could possibly care enough about the multitude of exsanguinated homeless San Franciscans. To all intents and purposes, it almost seems like he’s being treated as a source of comic relief; astonishingly bleak comic relief, mind you, but even so.

And then, somewhere around the halfway point, he simply stops being funny. The futility of trying to hold together something as fragile as human life in the chaos of the big city, with all its random, senseless violence, ultimately gets to him, and he finds himself a prime target for Harris’ manipulations. By the time she’s done her work on him and he’s candidly and calmly discussing potential suicide methods with anyone who’ll listen, you can’t help but feel that Orman and Blum may not have received a copy of the whole “Try to be less serious than the New Adventures” memo.

But the fact is that this departure from form – as much as a series which is only two books deep can really be said to have a “form” to depart from – ends up feeling supremely welcome, hitting on those notes of aching, poetic darkness that only Kate Orman really can. It isn’t, perhaps, entirely consistent with the spirit of The Eight Doctors but, to be blunt, well… that’s a very good thing.

It also helps that, like all good Doctor Who novels, Vampire Science is an extraordinarily tightly-wound construction, both thematically and narratively. The stuff with Shackle is wonderful, but it’s even better when taken as one small facet of the book’s larger consideration of faith and belief, which is a very nineties theme in and of itself.

There’s a reason, after all, the popular X-Files credo “I want to believe” struck a chord with so many people, perfectly capturing as it did the mood of a populace searching for meaning in the face of so much despair and hopelessness, being served hot and fresh at the televisual all-you-can-eat buffet that was the rapidly-forming twenty-four hour news cycle. Reading Vampire Science, one is left with the impression that Orman and Blum have tapped into a similar vein – ha! – of listlessness and dejection, if only to chime in with a more broadly wholesome answer to the conundrum than Chris Carter might have ever been capable of.

And with all this talk of belief and individuals’ greater awareness of the various evils and injustices plaguing the modern world, Vampire Science actually manages to quite elegantly dovetail its wider themes into reflecting back upon the main cast, most notably in the case of Sam Jones.

Ah, Sam. Where do we even begin? The novels have, after all, been on something of a hot streak when it comes to their original companions. Even if characters like Chris Cwej and Roz Forrester hadn’t quite managed to set the world alight in the same way as Bernice Summerfield had done – with Chris pretty consistently being the weakest link in a given book both before and after Benny’s departure from the TARDIS, only really becoming a particularly workable character in the wake of Roz’s death – it still feels as if there is something worth noting in the rather… extreme reactions that Sam tends to generate.

The usual objections raised to her character centre on her perceived “generic companion” status, and the tendency that she had in internal monologues to descend into a mouthpiece for various progressive causes which were engaged with in a manner that some found rather trite and surface-level.

This sense that Sam exists as a problematic foundational wrinkle in the Eighth Doctor Adventures’ rather twisted continuity is only reinforced when the range eventually chooses to fold her blandness into the very text of the series, with the suggestion being made in Alien Bodies that the character’s biodata had been deliberately altered so as to make her the perfect companion for the Doctor, an idea which Orman and Blum subsequently picked up and ran with big time in their work on Unnatural History, much to Miles’ chagrin.

Reading Vampire Science, then, it’s rather striking just how much of this treatment of Sam is visible from the get-go, or at least from the character’s first substantial appearance, what with her having largely been a bland non-entity for the two sections of The Eight Doctors in which she played any sort of part.

It’s not that anything here consciously hearkens towards Alien Bodies per se; as we’ve established, the two books were commissioned under completely different editors, which one would expect to have rather limited the potential for cross-author communication, even before you start factoring in Orman, Blum and Miles’ each living on completely separate continents, Internet or no Internet. But on a basic conceptual level, if we can take a premise like “The character of Sam is a problem in need of solving” to be a concept, there’s actually a surprising level of overlap at play.

One suspects that one of the main issues that really lies at the heart of this debate is that Sam is, at least until the time of Seeing I, a teenager, with all the embarrassing frailties and blind spots that tend to come with the territory of trying to loudly and forcefully declare your own sense of independence and personhood in a way that gets the rest of the world to actually sit up and pay attention. In this respect, it’s perhaps instructive to compare Sam to her two most direct antecedents in the “teenage companion” stakes, those being Ace and Adric.

(Yes, I suppose you could probably count Peri here as well, given the broad consensus that she’s eighteen as of Planet of Fire, as specified in her initial Character Outline for Season 21, but the series never engages with that facet of her character in as meaningful a way as it does with Ace or Adric. And frankly, given the way in which Peri was so routinely sexualised, her identification as a “teenage” character in any meaningful sense cannot possibly reflect positively on the show.)

Ace, after all, is a rather beloved character, and it’s quite revealing that Vampire Science chooses to adopt her as a point of comparison for Sam, heavily implying that the TARDIS’ latest occupant has taken up residence in the room that used to belong to Ace and even having General Kramer warn her of the way her predecessor was treated by the Seventh Doctor, which goes on to play a big role in precipitating Sam’s eventual crisis of faith in her newfound life.

In comparing the vastly different fan reactions to the two characters, one wonders how much of this gulf can be put down to Ace’s tendency to express her teenage angst in ways that are broadly considered “cool,” or at the very least more conventionally cool than attending a Greenpeace rally. In essence: Make super-powered baseball bats, not placards.

Adric, on the other hand, serves as an effective illustration of the flip side of the coin, being a character who comes in for almost universal derision from fandom, and received wisdom generally holds that a not insubstantial part of this lambasting stemmed from the extent to which he was a mirror to some of the more unflattering attributes that adolescent male members of the audience might have recognised in themselves or people they knew.

Regardless of how much stock one is willing to put in that notion, the idea is a common enough talking point in what we might only half-seriously term the Adric discourse that it also neatly summarises some of my occasional misgivings about the proverbial Sam hate train that can sometimes get a-rollin’, even as there are certainly some very legitimate criticisms to be levelled against the character.

Where the character of Adric seemed close enough to some of the more stereotypical conceptions of Doctor Who fandom that it was reasonably possible to read the disdain with which the character was widely greeted as an exercise in self-flagellation, the overwhelmingly masculinist gender politics of that self-same fandom make it quite difficult to view a similarly hostile response to a female character as a wholly value-neutral act.

Sure, I’ll quite readily concede that this could all be a simple case of my faith in fandoms’ ability to discuss female characters with the appropriate levels of nuance – and appropriate lack of misogyny – having been severely eroded after my having grown up in the 2010s, but the idea of a contemporary take on Sam Jones being greeted with alarmist YouTube thumbnails bemoaning the reign of the SJWs or labelling the character a Mary Sue remains depressingly difficult to dispel entirely.

In any event, Vampire Science gives Sam a pretty solid and self-contained character arc, clearly designed to undercut some of the grating bluntness apparent in The Eight Doctors‘ “I don’t even drink Coke” exchange, and while it would be all too easy for this to seem like nothing more than a somewhat mean-spirited proclamation that the character is invested, as she herself puts it, in a “list of causes a mile long and an inch deep,” it helps that Orman and Blum choose to give her a certain curious dignity, even if it might be imperfect.

From the moment she first meets Carolyn in 1976, it’s quite clear that Sam is still in the mindset of treating her adventures with the Doctor as a bit of a harmless lark, spouting corny clichés like “Gimme weird over boring any day.” While it’s not as if Terrance Dicks had exactly given Orman and Blum much to work with in The Eight Doctors, the Sam we see here still feels of a piece with the brash youngster who had so brazenly swanned into the TARDIS at the conclusion of that novel.

In true Kate Orman fashion, of course, it doesn’t take long for Sam to acquire some rather pronounced battle scars, as she finds herself brutally attacked by Weird Harold while on a stake-out – and before you accuse me of bad punnery, the book beat me to it; on this charge, at least, I am an innocent man – at the Other Place. Not only does this allow for some unsurprisingly slick and well-executed hurt/comfort sequences, but it also does a lot to shatter many of Sam’s illusions and induct her into the hall of NA-adjacent “wounded protagonists” that the Virgin books seemed so fond of setting up, what with the Doctor’s stabbing in The Left-Handed Hummingbird and Set Piece, to say nothing of Chris’ bullet to the shoulder in Bad Therapy.

It is, admittedly, all too easy to imagine a version of this arc that comes off as a rather cynical exercise in off-handedly inserting trauma into a character’s life, particularly when one considers the pretty extensive body of existing literature that has coded vampire attacks as a particularly sexual and eroticised form of violence.

Thankfully, however, we’re dealing with Kate Orman, and the book just about manages to strike the right balance between never losing sight of the unique horror of Sam’s experience, and knowing when to pull back so as to not veer into the realm of crass, shallow exploitation of such serious and weighty themes. Much as Orman was able to ground Roz’s death in So Vile a Sin in an active choice on the character’s part, Sam’s eventual triumph over Weird Harold is treated as hers and hers alone, and Vampire Science never feels like it allows the Doctor’s reaction to Sam’s wounding and temporary disempowerment to unduly overshadow proceedings in the grand fridging tradition.

But underlying all of this is a sense that Orman and Blum have at least tried to pre-empt some of the accusations of political vacuousness that will inevitably be levelled against Sam, and to find a workable niche for her in the ensemble. For all that her comfortable white middle-class English upbringing might mean that her high-minded ideals aren’t always backed up with definitive life experience, Vampire Science posits that she might be able to acquire that experience through her travels in the TARDIS, and maybe eventually manage to live up to those ideals that she prizes so dearly.

It isn’t a perfect solution by any means. Certainly, there’s an argument to be made that defining Sam in so ironclad a fashion as “the one who learns things by being around the Doctor” inherently limits how much she can ever feasibly develop, at least when she is sharing the same narrative real estate with the Doctor. It wouldn’t be entirely unfair to state that this really just represents the EDAs kicking the proverbial can a little further down the road, and it’s telling that the four-book arc leading up to Seeing I needs to go to such drastic measures to separate Sam from the Doctor so that she has the vaguest hope of developing.

And yet as single-book character arcs go, it’s readable, it’s nuanced, and it just about works as a broad-strokes outline for how to get the character of Sam to a state where she can reliably function. It’s an innovation just as significant as the first prolonged stirrings of the anarchic, hyperactive and distractable characterisation of the Eighth Doctor, even if it shares the same pitfalls of requiring future EDA authors to be working on the same page.

Which, as we’ll soon see, can be something of a tall order at the best of times.

With faith serving as a central theme in Vampire Science – and given how much religious iconography tends to seep into vampire fiction, the book is really just pulling from a well-established tradition here – it’s also unsurprising that Sam’s vociferous and forceful political opinions are contrasted against the other members of the guest cast.

We’ve already touched on Shackle, of course, but in many ways the most obvious dramatic foil for Sam comes in the form of Carolyn. No small part of this is undoubtedly down to her origins as a return appearance by Grace, and trying to add some definition to the newest member of the regular cast by contrasting her against her direct televised predecessor is a reasonably solid solution to the problem.

Even if that might have fallen through, however, there remain shades of the “tired of living but afraid of dying” characterisation to her character, though the change in her specialisation from cardiology to biochemistry and oncology has necessarily wrought a similar shift in her ultimate aim. Where before we had “to hold back death,” now we have “find a cure for cancer,” stated just as bluntly as if to reinforce the parallel even further.

Interestingly enough, the ultimate trajectory of Carolyn’s arc – learning to rediscover the magic of life that she had found on an initial brief encounter with the Doctor, while also tempering that against the bedrock reality of the relationship that she’s already found on Earth – seems to hearken even further forwards to the characterisation of Amy Pond during the Eleventh Doctor’s era. It’s executed pretty well, serving as another solid example of the distinct thematic Orman-Moffat thematic resonance that I’ve noted in the past, though building a significant portion of Sam’s first appearance around the possibility of an alternative companion does rather predictably give rise to the expected “Why couldn’t we have had Carolyn instead?” comments from the anti-Sam camp.

If Carolyn and Sam both offer up snapshots of overpowering or misplaced belief, then Slake and his crew of vampires would seem to caution against the dangers of hollow, all-pervasive nihilism. Orman and Blum aren’t exactly subtle here, introducing us to Slake in the midst of a desperate attempt at theatrics to wow some disinterested Goths at the Other Place. With the aforementioned references on Harris’ part to Interview with the Vampire and Vampire: The Masquerade, it seems that Slake has chosen the vacant spectacle of popular culture as the foundation of his ideological edifice, for all that he might make some token stabs at depth by kitting out his apartment in suitably nihilistic Nietzsche tomes.

In one of many great Doctor moments, the Time Lord makes all of this quite plain: “In forty years even the most mundane of these people can raise a family, get new jobs, do things they’ve never done before – and you’re still doing just what you did back in your gang in 1956. Talk about arrested development. All these years and you’re still a teenager.”

And that is, one suspects, the heart of the matter. At the end of the day, Vampire Science seems far more sympathetic to the youthful blundering of Sam Jones than it does to Slake’s brand of careful, practised stasis. Hell, it even seems that the book would rather take the quiet retreat into political banality enjoyed by Sam’s parents and the 1960s generation as a whole over perpetual fixity, and for all that we could perhaps make some snide remarks about how this marks Vampire Science as a work produced on the cusp of Tony Blair and New Labour, the basic premise of embracing change over stagnation strikes close enough to some of the big themes at the heart of Doctor Who that it just about works.

And so, too, does Vampire Science. It may not be an absolute, unalloyed masterpiece, but to expect the EDAs to so rapidly and totally grasp their own identity after just two books feels rather unrealistic, particularly when the first of those two books was as wretched as The Eight Doctors ended up being.

For now, it’s more than enough for the novels to prove that they can turn out entertaining, quick-paced adventures with a workable vision of the Doctor and Sam, while not completely sacrificing the depth and innovations brought by the New Adventures in the process. Taken on those terms, it’s tough to call this anything but a resounding success.

Miscellaneous Observations

I didn’t really comment too extensively on the Doctor’s characterisation here, as I don’t know if I have too much to add to the conversation that hasn’t already been said, but suffice it to say that the definition of Eight as “Life’s Champion” largely goes down a treat. Even if defining the character so heavily by reference to the ways he differs from his predecessor may not have been the best long-term game plan, it’s just about excusable when you consider how little the EDAs had to work with at the very beginning.

Speaking of ways Vampire Science turned out way better than it really had any right to, let’s just pause for a moment and acknowledge just how insanely prolific Kate Orman has been in the past few months leading up to July 1997. Between capping off the Seventh Doctor’s arc in The Room With No Doors and frantically scrambling to get So Vile a Sin to a state where it was fit for publication, not to mention somehow squeezing in a short story for Re:Generations along the way, it’s a wonder this book is at all enjoyable.

In fact, to hear Orman tell it in conversation with David J. Howe, she largely delegated responsibility for the handling of Vampire Science to Blum in order that she might better focus on So Vile a Sin, and for all that I’ve focused in on Orman over the course of this review far more than I have her then-fiancé and now-husband, I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on how seamlessly the pair’s writing styles have meshed together in the final analysis.

There aren’t the same markers that might have allowed one to make an educated guess as to the division of the Aaronovitch/Orman segments in So Vile a Sin, say, and it’s therefore no great surprise that the two of them would form one of the more enduring creative partnerships in the Wilderness Years from this point on.

Final Thoughts

Well, hopefully this one has redeemed me some in the eyes of the EDA fans after so thoroughly trashing The Eight Doctors. Coupled with The Devil Goblins from Neptune, it looks like we might actually be in for a better start to the BBC Books line than we might have been led to believe. What’s up next? A Troughton novel, you say? Hmm… do I have to? Oh well, join me next time as we see if the PDAs prove any more adept at handling the Second Doctor than the MAs of old, and we welcome back Steve Lyons with The Murder Game. Until then, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Virgin New Adventures Reviews: Beyond the Sun by Matthew Jones (or, “Un Cercle Au-Delà du Soleil”)

One of the trends which we’ve observed over the course of the New Adventures has been the gradual shift away from the series’ penchant for lobbing out a scattershot barrage of fans-turned-authors in its early days. Instead, the range moved towards a model that increasingly came to rely upon a few trusted stalwarts who could be relied upon to turn in a novel with a minimum of fuss, hopefully with the added benefit of that novel being basically functional within the strictures of the medium.

To more plainly illustrate this contrast, all we really need to do is compare the NAs’ slate for 1993 to that of 1995. The former year was overwhelmingly dominated by first-time authors, with the only exceptions to this rule of thumb being Nigel Robinson and Jim Mortimore, and although the latter had previously collaborated with Andy Lane on Lucifer RisingBlood Heat remained his first solo outing, so its inclusion alongside a novel like Birthright ought to come with a bit of an asterisk.

By 1995, however, the only New Adventure to be written by a newcomer to the world of Doctor Who was Dave Stone’s Sky Pirates! Even then, Stone was hardly what you could call a novice by that stage, having cut his teeth on the British comics scene with numerous credits for the Judge Dredd Megazine in the early 1990s before migrating to Virgin’s own short-lived line of Judge Dredd tie-in novels, for which he wrote a total of three instalments. For a series that only lasted nine books, that’s certainly no mean feat.

While some might respond to this shift by decrying the novels for their “cliquishness,” we ought not lose sight of the fact that this is really just part and parcel of the process that any long-running series needs to engage in if it hopes to have a shot at actually running for a long time.

Peter Darvill-Evans’ open submissions policy, indirectly echoing a similar edict made by Michael Piller over on the third season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, is rightfully lauded as a brilliant decision. On the most obvious level, presuming you’re the type to care about such things, it helps to ensure that “real fans” with a deep and abiding love for the source material are in a position of shepherding the franchise.

And sure, for all that the subsequent decades may have seen this logic run riot to the detriment of Doctor Who and many other series besides, it was a fundamentally sound idea in the context of a cancelled television programme which nobody had any reason to suspect would ever return. Letting people like Paul Cornell write novels like Revelation was a better game plan for the series in the long term than entrusting it to the same old group of Target veterans, at least one of whom had been working on Doctor Who since the first government of Harold Wilson.

But crucially, this policy of open submissions was only the first step. The greatest strength of the early New Adventures was that they were willing to entertain novels from anyone, and their greatest flaw was… that they were willing to entertain novels from anyone. I may have said it before, but it’s worth reiterating that for every Paul Cornell or Kate Orman that this period produced, you also had an Andrew Hunt or a Neil Penswick. The series would undeniably have been weaker for not allowing this wild, experimental sense of reckless creative abandon, but if you’re aiming to be a consistently entertaining source of fresh Doctor Who, you eventually need to pare things back a bit.

Under Rebecca Levene, then, the Virgin line gradually moved closer to achieving that goal, and the results spoke for themselves. Though the early NAs had their fair share of triumphs, it seems just about inarguable that the lineup of a year like 1995 – wherein the weakest novel was probably the deeply flawed but still interesting Toy Soldiers – represented a substantial improvement over what had come before, and the development of a consistent and reliable pool of writers from those initial submissions was a key component of that success.

It’s perhaps telling that Lawrence Miles, who can probably quite uncontroversially be dubbed the author with the most influence upon the coming shape of the world of Doctor Who novels to have made their debut in this late period of the NAs, had actually submitted a proposed storyline for the book that would become Christmas on a Rational Planet some considerable time earlier, only for it to get lost amidst the slush pile until being idly rediscovered by Gareth Roberts. The novel might quite rightly feel like an anomaly amongst the general trend of Virgin choosing to focus on consolidating their existing writers, but that’s only because it was quite literally grounded in the ethos typified by Darvill-Evans’ editorship.

And then you have Matthew Jones. It is, admittedly, a bit of a stretch to portray Jones as some completely untested novice who sprang out of the ether fully-formed upon the publication of Bad Therapy in December 1996, having already established himself as a known quantity in the vaunted corridors of 1990s Who fandom through his regular Fluid Links column in the pages of Doctor Who Magazine.

Indeed, he’d even contributed The Nine-Day Queen to Lost Property, the second of Virgin’s Decalog short story collections, though it must be said that it wasn’t a story I much cared for in the final telling, taking some rather inelegant shortcuts in establishing its central historical tragedy that left its attempts at emotional heft feeling blunt and underdeveloped.

Yet with all of that being said, Bad Therapy still remained his debut full-length novel, and the new and expanded format seemed to do Jones a world of good, allowing him the space to sketch a quietly moving tale about loneliness and empathy which befitted the vaguely dispirited and dejected mood among certain sects of fandom in the twilight months of the Virgin line.

At the time of its initial publication, it seems fair to say that it was a bit of a difficult book to process, with its emotional stakes being so heavily tied to Roz’s death in the as-yet unpublished So Vile a Sin. Perhaps this confusion at least partially accounts for its conspicuously low placement on the Sullivan rankings, coming in at #20 and missing out on the apparent boost afforded other novels in the New Adventures’ endgame, not-so-narrowly avoiding the fate of being the lowest-rated of the final five books thanks to the widely lambasted Eternity Weeps, which fell at #48.

With Beyond the Sun, by contrast, we’re looking at a book that seems to have received a considerably warmer reception. Among the twenty-three Bernice-led NAs, it’s the highest-rated that we’ve looked at so far, sitting squarely in fourth place, while Oh No It Isn’t! and Dragons’ Wrath only managed to reach eleventh and twelfth, respectively. We won’t be talking about a novel that bests that score until we get to Walking to Babylon some seven months and twenty books hence.

Look at the composition of that top three, however, and the results are quite telling. We have, as mentioned, a tragic historical romance from Kate Orman, a universe-spanning, format-bending epic courtesy of Lawrence Miles at the height of his authorial powers and relevance, and a novel deliberately designed by the Benny novels’ most prolific contributor to wrap up as many of the series’ loose threads as possible in a suitably show-stopping fashion.

These are all books that look remarkably like “safe bets,” and while Beyond the Sun‘s 75.8% rating isn’t too extraordinary – placing it somewhere between Return of the Living Dad and Happy Endings, which occupy eighteenth and nineteenth place among the Doctor-led NAs – the fact that a second-time author like Jones should manage such a warm reception is interesting enough that it bears remarking upon.

In Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story, Jones himself even reflects on Beyond the Sun as being a more mature and original work than Bad Therapy, crediting his debut New Adventure as “an imitation of several of the others – mostly Paul Cornell’s.” Personally, I think Jones sells himself a bit short – even if it is a self-evident Cornell imitation in some respects, it’s a very good Cornell imitation, which is more than a lot of other first-time novelists can manage – but I can understand the general thrust of his judgment.

Certainly, it’s reflected in the contemporary opinion of DWM‘s own Dave Owen. Having given Bad Therapy a mixed yet still broadly positive review, and noting Jones’ clear fannish affection for the New Adventures as a worthwhile corner of Doctor Who in their own right, his assessment of Beyond the Sun came straight to the point: “Within his opening chapter, Matthew Jones convinces that he has significantly developed his storytelling technique since Bad Therapy.”

Of course, although it could hardly have been obvious to fans at the time, this newfound critical success in the Virgin novels was something of a false dawn for Jones, and anyone harbouring hopes that he might become a shining light among the latter-day New Adventures authors in the vein of a Miles or a Stone was likely to be disappointed, with Beyond the Sun ultimately proving to be his last full-length Doctor Who-adjacent novel in the Wilderness Years.

But equally, the benefit of hindsight proves particularly illuminating here. While Jones might be largely departing the narrative at this point, he only does so by dint of moving outside the bounds of the way I’ve opted to tell the story of the Wilderness Years, rather than by outright ceasing to be influential on the direction of Doctor Who, per se.

Not long after the publication of Beyond the Sun, Jones managed to secure a position as a storyliner on Coronation Street on the strength of a recommendation from Gareth Roberts, joining the list of “NA authors turned soapsmiths” alongside such luminaries as Rebecca Levene, Lance Parkin, Paul Cornell and, indeed, Roberts himself.

This, in turn, contributed directly to his being offered the position of script editor on Russell T. Davies’ Queer as Folk, which we can now plainly recognise as being not just Jones’ proverbial “big break,” but also an absolutely pivotal part of the larger story of how Doctor Who managed to pull itself out of the rut of irrelevance and widespread public mockery in which it found itself throughout the Wilderness Years.

In much the same way that we made a big deal out of Keith Topping and Martin Day’s decision to announce their arrival to BBC Books sans Cornell with The Devil Goblins from Neptune, we’re once again faced with the impression that the strongest narrative thread running through 1997 for the Doctor Who and Bernice Summerfield novels is predominantly one of transition, and of trying to figure out how to continue telling worthwhile stories in the face of a rapidly shifting status quo.

As it turns out, Beyond the Sun‘s answer to this conundrum is just about the same as that arrived at by Justin Richards with Dragons’ Wrath, reintroducing a prominent recurring guest star from the NAs’ past. In this case, rather than the enigmatic and erudite schemer Irving Braxiatel, Jones opts to reacquaint us with one Jason Peter Kane, making his first appearance since the breakdown of his marriage to Benny in Eternity Weeps some six months prior.

While it might have been possible to have a solo Benny series without the character of Braxiatel – yes, as Richards says, it certainly helps to have a Doctor-like raissoneur to hand, but there’s no inherent reason that this has to be Brax, besides the quite reasonable point that he’s just a terribly fun character to have around – the return of Jason feels virtually inevitable. He’s a character wholly original to Virgin who is fundamentally tied to Bernice, having been tailormade to offer up a reason for her departure as a regular travelling companion of the Doctor all the way back in Death and Diplomacy.

Even if the writers had chosen to never bring him back at all – which was already looking unlikely in the extreme once it became clear that Dave Stone was going to be writing one of the first four novels in the retooled line – the emotionally turbulent dissolution of the chief protagonist’s marriage is the type of event that is quite difficult to brush past.

(Then again, I imagine Charlene Connor might have a thing or two to say on this subject once we get around to Deadfall…)

So sure, while the decision may have been made to split up the Summerfield-Kanes just eight months after they were married in a big, show-stopping fiftieth New Adventure extravaganza, Jason pretty much always had a non-zero chance of returning to the series, in-the-flesh or otherwise.

In fact, Virgin have proved commendably reluctant to define Benny’s arc solely around the absence of Jason. While books like The Dying Days and Oh No It Isn’t! referred back to the emotional fallout of the divorce, it never felt as if Bernice’s character was being boiled down to nothing more than a vehicle for exploring some brand new divorce-tinged flavour of the proverbial NA angst that is somewhat reductively viewed as having been the series’ stock-in-trade.

On the contrary, Parkin and Cornell seemed far more concerned with the rather pressing business of proving that they had inherited a lead character who was well-rounded enough to compete with the Doctor in the protagonist sweepstakes. For the record, it’s also interesting to note that Dragons’ Wrath never once directly invokes Jason’s name at all.

Entering into Beyond the Sun, then, it would be all too easy to run with an overly superficial reading of Jason’s return and suggest that Jones has somehow betrayed the convictions of the NAs in keeping our two time-travelling adventurers apart until this point, but such a reading isn’t really supported by the text of the novel itself.

Even if we perform a very rudimentary and basic examination of the novel’s structure, the most significant warping of narrative gravity that Jason is able to achieve is only brought about as a consequence of his kidnapping by the Sunless. He is, in effect, little more than a gender-swapped “damsel in distress” here, which is a gesture so profoundly and cheekily casual in its needling of the standard heteronormative underpinnings of this sort of adventure fiction that one can only imagine the outcry among the usual suspects of modern Doctor Who fandom if it were tried today.

(In fact, this sense of an uninhibited ruffling of heteronormativity’s proverbial feathers runs through the whole book. It’s not for nothing, after all, that the novel also features an extended sequence in which Benny, Emile and Tameka manage to incite a riot by putting on a particularly politically incendiary drag show which directly evokes one of the more iconic scenes from The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and that’s before you get to the more blatant manifestations like Emile’s entire character arc being predicated upon the same explicit grappling with themes of queer identity that fuelled so much of Bad Therapy.)

This reflects another important fundamental truth of Beyond the Sun, which is to say that it is undeniably Bernice’s story, even if it is perhaps a bridge too far to label it an out-and-out character piece rather than an action-adventure lark with more dashes of introspection than the statistical average established by its two direct predecessors. By July 1997, we’ve seen Benny take a prominent role in nearly fifty full-length novels spanning almost half a decade, and the extent to which her place in the New Adventures needs to be properly and categorically outlined at this stage is lessened considerably by sheer dint of that self-same longevity.

Accordingly, every novel since The Dying Days has really just been an exercise in crashing Bernice Summerfield into whatever type of narrative takes the authors’ fancy, carrying on the type of inter-genre experimentation that had practically become second nature to Doctor Who by the nineties.

While there are certainly shades of this peculiarly Who-like narrative alchemy to be found in Beyond the Sun‘s final form – most obviously in Jones’ quite plainly having taken inspiration from Ursula K. Le Guin’s 1974 classic of science fiction, The Dispossessed, to the point of extending a suitably cordial and knowing tip of the hat in the naming of the Ursulans – the novel ultimately seems preoccupied with the question of what it really means for Benny to have assumed the role of the New Adventures’ chief protagonist, which is a question that the novels have largely shied away from interrogating in too much depth to this point.

In this respect, it is arguably in its final passages that the novel most plainly articulates its underlying conception of Bernice as a character, as she reflects upon a necklace she had fashioned earlier on as a statement of her own personal ethics, reading thus:

Bernice Summerfield is a human being. And as such she is all too capable of being cruel and cowardly. And yet, while she is often caught up in violent events, she endeavours to remain a woman of peace.

The resonances with Terrance Dicks’ famous description of the Doctor in 1972’s The Making of Doctor Who as being a man of peace who is never cruel or cowardly are so obvious as to almost go without saying, but it should be noted that Jones subtly tweaks the phrasing of that original quote in reiterating it here.

The Making of Doctor Who favoured a more overtly and unambiguously absolutist stance in its proclamations, as one might perhaps expect from Dicks. As a writer, his moral and political compass can pretty reliably be characterised as being possessed of a rather adamant and strident certitude in what he sees as the basic truths of the world.

At its best, this is an approach which can be rather endearing in the simplicity of its black-and-white ethical pronouncements. And really, for all that Dicks has come in for a bit of a lashing in the pages of this blog lately, I’d be remiss if I neglected to mention that there’s also a completely understandable reason why quotes like “Never cruel or cowardly” have endured, to the point where Steven Moffat could build the entire emotional arc of the programme’s fiftieth anniversary out of the line in The Day of the Doctor.

Yet at its worst, it’s just as easy for this sense of surety and conviction to become a vice rather than a virtue. If you want me to provide evidence for this claim… well, like I say, I think I’ve ragged on The Eight Doctors and its embarrassingly reductive take on the rise of crack cocaine quite enough for the moment, so we’ll just leave it at that.

Moreover, the overall aesthetic of the New Adventures actively cut against Dicks’ uncompromising moral ethos, which perhaps goes some way towards explaining why novels like ExodusBlood Harvest and Shakedown often felt like strange – albeit generally entertaining – artistic cul-de-sacs when placed among their contemporaries.

The claim I’m making here isn’t, as you so often hear from some of the NAs’ more vocal detractors, that the books wholeheartedly embraced “morally ambiguous” storytelling. On the contrary, the series was, in its shrewder moments, extremely unambiguous as to the more heinous and objectionable aspects of the Seventh Doctor’s modus operandi. However, this understanding was frequently balanced with a willingness to suggest that the character was still desperately trying, in his own way, to live up to the kind of classical and virtuous heroism so clearly favoured by writers like Dicks.

In regards to Benny and her climactic personal epiphany in Beyond the Sun, it’s undoubtedly deeply significant that the novel in which Paul Cornell introduced the character was also among the first to explicitly incorporate the Dicks quote into its narrative, pulling the line from the ethereal realm of the paratext into the text itself.

What’s more, it’s particularly telling that this trick was performed as a means of establishing the series’ newfound Doctor-companion relationship, particularly when contrasted against the recently-imploded dynamic enjoyed by the television incarnation of Ace.

The suggestion that the Doctor found himself incapable of recognising the person hinted at by the descriptor of “Never cruel or cowardly,” as reinforced by a typically cutting reply from Benny, very quickly and concisely outlined our not-quite-Professor’s unique ability to cut through the Ka Faraq Gatri’s grandiose aspirations towards mystique. Not to be outdone, it also effectively marked the point at which it became undeniable that the NAs would be taking it upon themselves to tell the story of the Doctor’s journey back to that more heroic archetype.

(Well OK, that was the theory. In practice, this idea really developed in fits and starts, as evinced by the way the books were just as likely to serve up riveting stories about the Doctor teaming up with William Blake to take on the Jack the Ripper murders. But hey, the intent was there!)

If we wanted to be unduly snide and acerbic about all this, we could perhaps crack wise about how Jones hasn’t actually managed to escape his being labelled a Cornell imitator in quite as successful a fashion as he might have hoped, but really, at that point we’re just skirting dangerously close to snark for snark’s sake.

In a very real sense, it was pretty much inevitable that any attempt to tackle the question of what distinguishes Bernice from the Doctor as the New Adventures’ chief protagonist was going to have to pull heavily from Cornell in one way or another. After all, between Love and War and Oh No It Isn’t!, he’d now managed the rather surreal feat of defining the character’s place within the series not once, but twice.

So for all that Jones is quite clearly riffing on the single most influential author to ever write for Benny, and arguably for the NAs as a whole, he’s doing so in a way that feels endearing rather than hackneyed or plagiaristic. It feels like a wholly logical extrapolation from the series’ prevailing attitude towards the Doctor’s heroism, with all manner of wonderful antecedents I could point to, whether that be the juggling scene in The Also People or the conversation in Return of the Living Dad where the Time Lord decides – in conversation with Benny herself, no less – upon “He really did the best he could” as the most apt epitaph for his hypothetical gravestone.

Here, at long last, the New Adventures seem truly content with the knowledge that they have found themselves a decidedly human protagonist, wholly divorced from any of the more supernatural or mythological trappings associated with Time’s Champion. Even if Benny can never realistically hope to live up to the splendour and valour implicit in Dicks’ conception of the Doctor, that doesn’t make her efforts to hold herself to that high moral standard any less worthwhile.

Indeed, in introducing Bernice, Jones stresses her peculiar sense of warmth and humanity, making the rather shrewd choice to keep the character at a distance for the first few chapters. We join the action – barring a brief prologue featuring Kitzinger on Ursu – not with Benny herself, but with the two archaeology students who basically assume the role of her pseudo-companions for the duration of the book, allowing Tameka to offer her own assessment of her tutor ahead of their first proper meeting. Even when we transition to the dig on Apollox 4, we don’t get treated to a scene from Bernice’s perspective until her conversation with Jason at the restaurant.

It’s an approach which feels rather consciously chosen, effectively signalling at the earliest opportunity that this is a novel which is going to be more directly concerned with questions of character relationships and interactions than was true of the series’ two previous releases. Furthermore, Jones is just about talented enough that the final results prove rather complimentary, as one might have been led to expect from a writer who made their debut with a book like Bad Therapy.

Actually, it’s worth taking our regularly-scheduled pause at this juncture to note one of the more glaring issues with the Big Finish audio adaptation, namely the complete omission of any scenes set before the Apollox dig. Like so many of the changes in that first season of audio dramas, it’s clearly just a concession to the realities of financing and recording such a production, but the removal of some rather effective early character moments for Emile and Tameka speaks well to some of the pitfalls of this particular adaptation, as Jones himself – having been the only author to actually choose to adapt their own book rather than just handing the job to Jacqueline Rayner – quite readily concedes in The Inside Story.

It’s not that the adaptation is quite as amateurishly unlistenable and clunkily truncated as was the case with Dragons’ Wrath, but more than any other novel chosen to receive the audio treatment, Beyond the Sun feels extremely poorly-suited to the process, with the nature of the medium pretty much requiring characters to loudly declaim reflections that had been wholly internal in the original book. All of this is very much a tangent – I know, I know, spare your gasps of surprise that I would go on tangents in one of these reviews – but I do think it’s a good way of illustrating just how much of the story’s success is tied up in its characters rather than its plot.

(And on the plus side, you’re now spared my discussing the audio drama adaptations at least until the time of Walking to Babylon.)

Viewed from a plot perspective, the story of Beyond the Sun is really one of the most traditional New Adventures narratives imaginable for much of its length. Stripped to its bare essentials, it’s really just the tale of Benny finding herself caught up in the perilous hunt for a McGuffin believed to be a crucial component of a hideously powerful ancient weapon. Granted, a weapon might not perfectly fit the “evil from the dawn of time” bill quite as well as someone like Fenric – it’s a bit like comparing a .45 Colt to Cthulhu, really – but we’re clearly still riffing on conceptual territory that is very familiar for the series at this late stage of its life-cycle.

The final twist in the story, then, is actually supremely clever on Jones’ part, without being needlessly deceptive to the point of unfairness. By the climax the audience has long since been lulled into a reasonable state of security, thinking that they’ve got a handle on the narrative stakes, simple though they are in order to allow the character stuff room to breathe.

More to the point, the novel has pitched its tent pretty squarely in the bleaker end of the tonal spectrum, what with the stark dismality of its portrait of Ursulan life under Sunless occupation, complete with a particularly harrowing flashback sequence that probably comes closer than any New Adventure since Just War to sketching the brutal mechanics of collaboration with an occupying enemy regime.

In this context, the revelation that the visionary figurines do not in fact power a weapon with powers beyond the sun, but rather power the native star of the Sunless’ homeworld beyond its natural life, is a nice little piece of optimistic subversion that manages to land with just the right amount of showiness to be satisfying without becoming infuriating.

It’s certainly a far cry from “Just this once, everybody lives!”, but it’s clever nonetheless, particularly with the added touch that Benny manages to suss out the truth before anyone else by cluing into the improper syntax in an earlier computerised translation of some ancient symbols. Not only does this provide a nice affirmation that it won’t just be Justin Richards who’ll allow the character to apply her archaeological know-how to the problems at hand, but it also handily reiterates the novel’s core idea of the human element being the most crucial of all, and of the inability of cold and detached logic to replicate it.

But on top of all of that, we have the rather delicious added irony that is Nikolas and Iranda being the real visionaries, having to sacrifice themselves to the device in order reignite the sun, and it’s this reveal which really introduces an extra layer of complexity to everything we’ve just sat through, while still feeling organically set up by a number of clues scattered throughout the book.

Admittedly, the only developments of any great thematic import here are primarily centred around Iranda, as it’s very difficult to get a proper handle on Nikolas’ character beyond his rather generic status as a suitably moustache-twirling, smarmy villainous creep. It’s no doubt significant that Jones saw fit to elide his character in the audio drama with that of Iranda to become Miranda, as voiced by Sophie Aldred. Even accepting the extent to which this might have just been another purely budgetary decision, it’s a little hard not to read it as something of a quiet admission that the two characters fill very similar narrative niches and aren’t particularly distinct from one another, and it’s a rare instance of the audio drama’s storytelling proving more elegant than the novel’s.

Putting all of that aside, however, (M)iranda becomes a deeply interesting character in light of this third-act twist. As might be expected of an author who made a name for himself writing a non-fiction column in Doctor Who Magazine, Jones proves no stranger to layering on the paratextual allusions, starting with the title of Beyond the Sun itself, which was a working title for at least The Daleks and The Edge of Destruction in the very earliest days of Doctor Who, if not An Unearthly Child as well. Because apparently it’s an unspoken rule that every review of this book must draw attention to that fact…

With the big hubbub made over Iranda and Nikolas having been an illicit addition to their Eight, and the conspicuous naming of the Blooms – genetic engineering devices which allow Ursulans to reproduce without sex – Beyond the Sun can’t help but evoke Marc Platt’s controversial deep dive into Gallifreyan history and the Doctor’s own rather anomalous biological beginnings in Lungbarrow some four months earlier, a connection which Dave Owen proved all too eager to point out in his review. Even the choice of the number eight feels particularly notable in a post-TV movie fandom, to say nothing of the way that Jason is quite literally described as having become Iranda’s “travelling companion” since last we saw him.

The natural assumption here would be to say that Iranda is plainly meant to be a Doctor stand-in, but the case for that claim certainly doesn’t appear as clear-cut as one might expect upon closer examination. If anything, there’s just as much grounds to label her role as being somewhat analogous to that of a traditional companion, even before you factor in stuff like the audio’s casting of Aldred, an actress inextricably tied to the same McCoy era milieu that spawned the New Adventures and, ultimately, Benny herself.

A further tangential irony sets in – although at this point “coincidence” feels an increasingly appropriate descriptor – when one takes into account the fact that Bernice had, at this point, come to be associated with Lisa Bowerman, who had herself played Karra, the last character to die in the classic series in Survival.

While I fully submit that I’m perhaps not so much reaching for straws here as I am spontaneously collapsing a sufficiently large star in the hopes of catching a few tufts of vegetation in the resultant black hole’s event horizon, it does still strike me that this blurring of the roles of companion and Doctor should figure so prominently in a book concerned with questions of individual self-determination – surely at least partially another legacy of the novel’s taking such heavy inspiration from Le Guin – particularly as it applies to the New Adventures’ first and most popular original companion.

Naming the character Miranda, or an abridged form thereof, also carries deeper resonances beyond Doctor Who, bringing to mind her namesake from William Shakespeare’s The Tempest, whose presentation within the play has served as the foundation for a veritable bevy of feminist analysis. Most such analyses of the Shakespearean Miranda typically focus on her status as the play’s only female character, reading her as something of an idealised Jacobean era representation of female virtue, being defined primarily by her subordination to her father Prospero.

The application of her name to a character in a novel that seems to so consciously blur the lines between Doctor and companion consequently feels like a rather pertinent choice on Jones’ part. Indeed, the reveal of Iranda being one of the visionaries is a satisfyingly layered twist. On the most superficial of levels, it’s a loud and forceful reiteration of Beyond the Sun‘s sympathy for a humanist, empathetic sort of individualism.

(In fact, it ought to be acknowledged that this is a theme with an established precedent in Jones’ debut novel as well, with Bad Therapy effectively grounding Doctor Who‘s genesis in the human capacity for empathy in the face of the cruel and chaotic world of 1950s Britain; the revival of the Sunless’ native star with the use of humans – well, Ursulans – as fuel is really just another, more literal iteration of the pseudo-Ebertian “empathy machine” suggested by the earlier novel.)

Yet at the same time, there remains something faintly horrifying about Iranda’s fate. It’s certainly hard to imagine you’d be able to find many readers who’d argue that she didn’t deserve some form of comeuppance for the whole “aiding a brutal, militaristic regime in the invasion of her home planet” thing, but in being forced into her slot in the machine by Bernice, she finds herself reduced to an object even as the triumph of individuality is asserted.

That’s not a criticism of the novel by any means, and I do like that the book is willing to push Benny to some murky places, while still demonstrating greater thoughtfulness about the whole thing than having her blow up a ship of religious zealots without batting an eye like St Anthony’s Fire. Which we still haven’t received a single further reference to after over thirty NAs, by the way. Just in case you were keeping track.

You could even construct a reasonably plausible reading of Benny’s besting Miranda as a particularly dramatic manifestation of her capacity to overcome Sandifer’s age-old Problem of Susan. In managing to displace the Doctor and anchor her own spin-off series – and to prove so successful at it that said series is still going strong over twenty-five years later – she has effectively stepped outside the tension between objectification and self-actualisation that so frequently defines the role of the companion within Doctor Who.

Emile and Tameka only reinforce the sense that there’s an attempt here to move the franchise beyond its stereotypical mould of companions, even in the absence of a Doctor proper. The former’s grappling with his sexuality provides him with a nice arc, feeling like the next logical step for gay representation in the New Adventures after Chris and David’s dalliance in Damaged Goods, and ever-so-subtly sows the first seeds of a chain of causality linking that book to Queer as Folk and eventually to characters like Jack Harkness in the 2005 revival.

Tameka is, perhaps, slightly closer to the conventional companion archetype, but she still feels subversive in her own way. For all that the idea of a hot-headed, vaguely gothic university student with a penchant for wearing makeup and dressing in “Vampire Chic” fashion might sound like a bit of a recipe for disaster, she actually comes across as a far more believable and well-rounded character than Sam Jones ever did in The Eight Doctors, and it’s nice that her makeup is allowed to be essential to the resolution of the plot, even if it isn’t perhaps the most elegant of storytelling shortcuts.

(I also can’t help but wonder if the inclusion of a story relating the waning of her childhood passion for chemistry after her teacher’s unenthusiastic response to her successfully performing a litmus test was intended as an inversion of a similar beat involving Susan and Ian in An Unearthly Child. I know, I know, black holes and tufts of vegetation, but even so…)

It also helps convey the idea that these new Bernice-led NAs are continuing to commit to the expansion of their recurring cast rather than just reintroducing old series favourites, a notion which has largely been conspicuous by its absence since every author besides Paul Cornell seemingly decided on a whim to ditch the colourful cast of academics he set up in Oh No It Isn’t!

Even at this stage there’s still a certain amount of hedging from the series, as Emile and Tameka go on to pretty much disappear from the books after a short return in Deadfall in three months’ time. While Emile would be lucky enough to eventually figure pretty prominently in the Gods arc after Where Angels Fear, Tameka wouldn’t be quite so lucky, only returning for the naming ceremony of Peter Summerfield in 2002’s The Glass Prison. Still, the intent is clearly there to create a robust recurring cast, even if it took the writers a little while to fully capitalise on the potential of their characters.

Finally, it’s interesting to see the series further develop its distinctly post-Cold War conception of galactic geopolitics, along with the notion that Dellah is basically surrounded by a bunch of smaller, developing planetary systems picking up the pieces after the Galactic War that was certainly not fought with any genocidal pepperpots I could care to name.

The Sunless are, on one level, quite plainly supposed to be generic stand-ins for fascism, and yet, as with the description of Nusek as a “warlord” in Dragons’ Wrath, the decision to cast them as victims of corporate colonialism also roots them in a far more interesting sort of political allegory. The extent to which companies like Krytell can casually dominate conversations among Emile and Tameka might just be some none-too-subtle foreshadowing for Ship of Fools, but it also speaks rather well to the decade’s fears of a global economy that was becoming increasingly centralised in the hands of a few ultra-powerful megacorporations.

Re:Generations had already suggested that the history of Earth and the history of the corporations were, in many key respects, nigh indistinguishable, and the attention paid to ensuring general cohesion in the series’ view of Earth’s future history, much like the efforts to establish a recurring guest cast, does wonders when it comes to marking the series out as having its own distinct identity.

Even if the basic structure of Ursu might be lifted from The Dispossessed, the underlying idea that some might choose to opt out of Earth’s influence – paging Michael Eddington… – feels logical enough given all the available evidence suggesting that the Earth of the NAs’ future is a pretty crappy place on the whole, which I feel helps offset any potential criticisms of unoriginality. Look, if I can give The Also People a pass despite Aaronovitch’s self-admitted transplantation of Iain M. Banks’ Culture series, I don’t think I have much of a leg to stand on here when it comes to decrying artistic appropriation.

(For the sake of illustrating how much Beyond the Sun feels of a piece with the New Adventures of yesteryear, not only does Jones manage to hit on the same presciently pessimistic view of a post-Google Internet dominated by corporations as Lance Parkin did in Secrets of the Black Planet, but he also works in an affectionate nod to Warhead with the naming of the academically stingy Butler Project, which feels appropriate given that Cartmel and his War trilogy were really the first up to bat when it came to these ideas of big business dominating Earth’s future, at least in the New Adventures.)

So, does Beyond the Sun live up to its status as the canonical “best” Benny NA thus far? Well, it’s difficult to compare it with a novel like Oh No It Isn’t!, given just how much of a departure from form that outing was, but I’d say it manages to rise comfortably above something like Dragons’ Wrath, and I can certainly understand why fans would respond more strongly to it.

It’s got some big sci-fi ideas to which it commits wholeheartedly, even if they mightn’t be the most original in the world, it’s populated with a cast of likeable characters while never losing sight of Bernice, and it tactfully handles Jason’s reintroduction and the establishment of Benny’s conflicted emotions towards him. Three books in, and the New Adventures have a pretty solid batting average so far. What more could a fan wish for?

(And perhaps most importantly of all, the Björk reference was cute. Clunky, but cute.)

Miscellaneous Observations

For all that I generally enjoyed the whole drag sequence, it was slightly soured by the decision to have Tameka drop the T slur in describing a dragged-up Emile at one point. It’s a throwaway line, but it’s enough to make you go “Oh wait we’re still in the nineties, aren’t we?”

In a similar vein, and freely accepting that this doesn’t have anything to do with the book itself, I can’t help but roll my eyes at the part in Dave Owen’s review where he says that his only real criticism of Beyond the Sun is its “politically correct” use of pronouns in referring to a singular indiviual as “they.” The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess…

I know I praised the novel for feeling relatively cohesive when placed against the larger tapestry of Virgin’s well-established future history, but I couldn’t help wondering if the references to a gang of Vilmurians consuming copious amounts of “bubblejack” was an attempted reference to bubbleshake from The Highest Science. Really though, this is the pickiest of nits, and even I had to go back to The Highest Science to double check the name of the drink.

Hey, I haven’t read it in a while, because… well, you know why.

It’s pretty well-known at this point that Jones’ lone script for the 2005 revival of Doctor WhoThe Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, was heavily retouched by Russell T. Davies, but it’s still interesting that one can almost see the nascent kernels of some of that two-parter’s imagery, most prominent of which is the important role both stories ascribe to a great big pit in the ground surrounded by a ring of indecipherable symbols. Both of said pits are even on an inhospitable lump of rock surrounding a dead or dying star, just for good measure.

Final Thoughts

Well, it’s the first review of the New Year, and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. As ever, these Bernice reviews really force me to operate in a different wheelhouse to that in which I’ve grown comfortable, and I think I end up running down some interesting avenues of thought I might have otherwise neglected.

I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to turn out reviews for the time being, as I’m dealing with some health problems at the moment that are leaving me very drained a lot of the time, but regardless, join me next time as the Eighth Doctor returns to San Francisco with Sam, and we see if Jonathan Blum and Kate Orman can best Uncle Terrance’s poor opening showing for the EDAs. All of that and more, coming in Vampire Science. Until then, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

BBC Past Doctor Adventures Reviews: The Devil Goblins from Neptune by Keith Topping and Martin Day (or, “A Bad Trip to the Moon”)

Let us start the review of The Devil Goblins from Neptune by carrying forward a time-honoured Dale’s Ramblings tradition: talking about a completely separate book entirely. You see, something I have kind of inevitably glossed over in restricting myself to the original, novel-length fiction offerings of the Wilderness Years – and latterly short story-length, too, I suppose – is the wealth of non-fiction guidebooks that also tended to proliferate throughout the same time period.

Of these, it seems difficult to sincerely argue that Paul Cornell, Martin Day and Keith Topping’s The Discontinuity Guide is not one of the definitive examples of the form. Published in May 1995 – amid something of a red letter month for members of the distinguished authorial trio, between Cornell’s Human Nature and Day’s The Menagerie on the other side of the fiction barrier in the New and Missing Adventures respectively – it represented a staggeringly detailed effort to catalogue as much of the continuity minutiae surrounding the first twenty-six seasons of Doctor Who as was humanly possible, while also containing copious real-world production details and short but snappy critical opinions on each televised story courtesy of the “Bottom Line” section.

More to the point, it was supremely official, with its front cover rightfully boasting of its featuring a foreword from Uncle Terrance himself, and being published by the company that was, at the time, the unquestioned custodian of the Doctor Who novel license. As far as proverbial high-water marks of the Virgin writer/fan industrial complex’s influence on the way the franchise was perceived are concerned, the fact of the matter is that you can probably do a hell of a lot worse than The Discontinuity Guide.

Of course, among the three writers, Cornell was always going to be the name that stuck out most. With Human Nature, he had quickly cemented himself as one of the most acclaimed and popular New Adventures authors, as evinced by the fact that the novel still routinely crops up near the top of any “Best New Adventures” poll or list that you could care to shake a reasonably-sized stick at. Furthermore, although nobody could have known it initially, the passage of time would prove him to be one of the most influential authors as well, to the point where the revival eventually just caved and adapted Human Nature wholesale in its third season.

Even if an individual reader takes issue with Cornell, three of his first four NAs are ones which you could quite reasonably proclaim to be your favourite and not have anybody look at you weirdly at a party.

(Provided, that is, that you are going to parties at which people routinely sit around discussing the triumphs, defeats and epic highs and lows of 1990s Doctor Who tie-in fiction, at which point I’m really going to have to ask for an invite because that sounds like a great deal of fun. I promise I will be totally normal about The Also People.)

Nevertheless, the sense in which The Discontinuity Guide marks a zenith in the influence of that generation of fans and writers of which Cornell was a part – absent any consideration of the revival series, where that influence obviously persisted – is perhaps reflected in the pattern of his output moving forwards. Where the eighteen-month period leading up to May 1995 had seen no less than three Cornell novels in reasonably quick succession, he seemed to make a conscious decision to scale down the pace of his work, in accordance with a note attached to his rough outline of Human Nature indicating that he intended it to be his final contribution to the New Adventures.

While things may not have eventually panned out that way, foreshadowing many non-departures from the franchise to come, it was true that the “Cornell book” became a truly annual event in the most literal sense of the word from that point on, with both Happy Endings and Oh No It Isn’t! being separated by precisely twelve months from their direct predecessors.

Moreover, while both novels didn’t entirely skimp out on the trademark hard-hitting emotions that had been a staple of Cornell’s work since Revelation – well, OK, I’m more so talking about Happy Endings here, but Oh No It Isn’t! has a few scant moments of seriousness amidst the panto frockery – their tone was noticeably more celebratory, with one serving as a direct commemoration of the fiftieth NA and the other serving to launch a retooling of the series to focus on a popular companion of Cornell’s own creation.

And although it’s quite easy to lose track of this fact when we decided to disrespect chronology in such a crass fashion by jumping forward to cover Dragons’ Wrath on June 19th, 1997, it’s worth noting that for our present purposes we’re treating the date as if it was June 2nd, a mere seventeen days after the release of Oh No It Isn’t! 

In other words, we’re arguably looking at the first segment of Doctor Who‘s history since around December 1991 that can credibly be described as “post-Cornell,” even if he will be back every few years to contribute the odd book like The Shadows of Avalon or Scream of the Shalka, and so it seems strangely appropriate that Topping and Day should be the writers who get to usher in said period.

Indeed, it’s worth noting that The Devil Goblins from Neptune began life as a collaborative and constantly evolving pitch for the Virgin Missing Adventures from the Discontinuity Guide trio, being crafted with a deliberate view towards evoking the 1970s, both in terms of the Pertwee Era of Doctor Who – even going so far as to initially include a classic “Doctor Who and…” title, just to evoke the classic Target novelisations with maximum authenticity – and the wider scope of the decade’s popular culture as a whole.

Inevitably, it becomes very tempting to envision what an alternate, Cornell-inclusive version of this book might have looked like, particularly when one considers his historical antipathy to much of the Third Doctor’s era, most visibly expressed in that one infamous review of Terror of the Autons for DWB in which he memorably proclaimed that the potential of Season Seven’s retooling of the programme had been a failure whose most lasting effect was ultimately to “make the Doctor a Tory.”

Equally tantalising is the question of exactly why Cornell chose to leave the project to his erstwhile collaborators, although it’s not exactly a move that feels too out of step with the general sense that he was attempting to branch out beyond Doctor Who at the time.

While one might want to read between the lines with Day’s hinting in an interview for New Adventures fanzine Broadsword that the development of The Guinness Book of Classic British TV‘s second edition saw “tempers [get] frayed and so on,” that feels like a bit too much weight to put on an offhand quote so obscure that I can only readily find it through judicious use of the Wayback Machine.

What’s more, the eventual reunion of the three writers for 1998’s The Avengers Dossier rather puts the lie to any suggestion of an especially acrimonious split, so I think it’s worth simply shrugging and accepting once again that the production history of the Wilderness Years’ BBC Books era will forever remain obscure until someone chooses to do a book in the vein of The Who Adventures or Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story. (Please?)

Regardless, the upshot of this is that we’re witnessing much the same effect that we saw with The Eight Doctors, and that we’ll continue to witness next time in Vampire Science, wherein the shadow of the Virgin line looms large over just about anything that BBC Books might choose to do with its newly reclaimed license.

Certainly, the absence of Cornell exerts a peculiar gravity over this book that Topping and Day, bless them, can’t really hope to match at this point in their careers, such that it resembles nothing so much as a NASA centrifuge trying to go up against a neutron star.

For Topping, at least, The Devil Goblins from Neptune marks his debut within the wacky world of Doctor Who novels. Day, as mentioned, had previously contributed The Menagerie to the Missing Adventures, although being asked to suddenly switch gears halfway through from a New Adventure to the first of the MAs’ Second Doctor novels predictably left it a rather malformed, confused thing, so that’s perhaps not the best advertisement of his talents that one could hope for.

Still, with the passage of time it can probably be said to have attained the rather dubious honour of being one of the better Troughton books almost by default, lacking as it does the bungling, jaw-droppingly ill-informed racism of Invasion of the Cat-People or the sheer, drawn-out 300 page tedium of a snoozer like Twilight of the Gods.

In fact, Troughton and Pertwee exhibited rather similar arcs throughout the course of the Missing Adventures, although it must be said that the dandy seemed, on the whole, to have fared better than the clown. Both were comparatively late additions to the MAs’ roster, with the first Third Doctor novel only seeing print a whopping seven months after the release of Goth Opera, and a mere three months prior to The Menagerie. For the sake of comparison, both the Fourth and Fifth Doctors had managed to headline two novels apiece by that point.

Even when it eventually arrived, The Ghosts of N-Space was a monumentally poor showing, particularly coming from the pen of the man who had held the producer’s chair for every Pertwee story bar Spearhead from Space, and co-wrote all but one of the era’s season finales. Then again, one of those finales was The Time Monster, so I suppose that makes some measure of sense.

Barring the slight improvement of Paul Leonard’s Dancing the Code, which started off as a promising critique of Three’s relationship with the establishment in the vein of Cornell’s own aforementioned misgivings before settling down to be a much more generic runaround with giant bugs, the Third Doctor then took something of an extended hiatus from the MAs, before popping up with at least three separate outings throughout 1996. If you were willing to count Who Killed Kennedy – a defensible enough position, despite its status outside the Missing Adventures’ usual fare – that number went as high as four.

(It’s at this point in the review that most critics would make a suitably analogical joke about Third Doctor novels being like buses, but frankly I’ve already said “three” so much in the preceding paragraph that the thought of saying anything close to “three show up at once” feels like overdoing it. But now I’ve said “three” at least one – make that two – more times than I would have if I’d just run with the bit to begin with, so frankly I give up.)

Perhaps the most promising development that was visible throughout 1996, however, was a noticeable uptick in quality. The Eye of the Giant wasn’t a masterpiece by any means, but it was a typically functional piece of Doctor Who storytelling from Christopher Bulis, faithfully recreating the vibe of classic 1930s adventure serials. Even down to the sexism, although the example of The Eight Doctors ought to remind us that the Pertwee Era and sexism are nowhere near as antithetical to one another as we might like to believe.

Concurrent with this was a rise in an alternative take on the Era that we might feasibly term the “Pertwee Conspiracy Thriller,” with both Who Killed Kennedy and The Scales of Injustice unapologetically taking their cues from The X-Files. And yet, for all that the novels pulled from a blend of styles and trappings that were hyper-specific to the 1990s, the decision to wed these impulses to an adaptation of a 1970s televisual text like the Pertwee years proved a rather inspired one, which should hardly be surprising.

After all, Chris Carter has been quite upfront about how the distrust of authority that reverberates throughout his work was directly inspired by the Watergate scandal, a political crisis grounded very definitively in the early ’70s. Certainly, for those obsessive fans who like drawing parallels between developments in Doctor Who and real-world events – and I think it’s a safe bet that my audience contains more than its fair share of them – there can be few facts that seem like quite as ripe a candidate for this sort of analysis as the fact that, in mid-1974, both Jon Pertwee and Richard Nixon stepped down from their respective roles within two months of one another.

Although this stylistic evolution seemed to hint at a brighter future for the Third Doctor, it must be conceded that he hadn’t exactly bowed out from the MAs on a high note, with Leonard’s Speed of Flight proving rather samey, to the point where, some seven months later, I’m honestly not sure how much I could tell you about its basic plot if pushed to do so. Even so, it at least had the good sense to be rather short and zippy in its pacing, flashing by so fast that it never seriously ran the risk of outstaying its welcome.

So that’s the status quo leading into June 1997 just about covered, and it feels appropriate that Pertwee should occupy such an ambivalent space in the land of the printed page. He is at once a hugely iconic part of the classic show’s legacy, and one of the parts that feels most frequently at odds with the received wisdom as to what makes for a truly great piece of Doctor Who.

One need look no further than the forthcoming 1998 DWM poll to see confirmation of this status; with Inferno placing as the highest-ranked story of his era at number fourteen, he became one of only three Doctors – it seems rather churlish to count McGann here, given his rather obvious disadvantage – not to achieve a single spot in the top ten, placing him in the same camp as Hartnell and Colin Baker. As the magazine hastened to point out, though, he also managed to become the only Doctor to avoid a single one of his stories falling in the bottom ten, and if that doesn’t amount to a reasonably rock-solid validation of the Era’s status as a bit of a critical median for the show, then I don’t know what is.

Certainly, I think it’s fair to say that I didn’t really have any idea what to expect from The Devil Goblins from Neptune. Yes, there had been some better Third Doctor books of late, but quite frankly, if Speed of Flight was anything to go by, that was far from a guarantee of quality, and the fact that I’d just come off of reading quite possibly one of the most mind-numbingly tedious and depressing novels imaginable, courtesy of one of the Pertwee Era’s two chief architects no less, left me none too favourably disposed towards the idea of BBC Books tackling the period head on in this fashion.

Imagine my delight then when I can actually report that it is, in point of fact, very good. It manages to combine the goofy fannish indulgence that was perhaps the most endearing part of The Scales of Injustice in hindsight with the genuine insight and intelligence gestured at by the first half of Dancing the Code, suturing them together to create a whole far in excess of the sum of its parts, and becoming the best straightforward Pertwee novel so far, bar none.

We ought to begin by addressing some of the common objections raised against the book, as I do think these serve as a workable jumping off point to help elucidate what I take to be Topping and Day’s general rationale here, especially since that rationale is very clever in its own right.

A reasonably common thread running through a lot of the more negative reactions to the book would hold that some of its additions to “Doctor Who lore” – which, as always, is a slightly dubious and shaky construction at the best of times – are profoundly silly in nature. Now at this juncture, we could very easily give a polite cough and point a finger towards the title of the book and just kind of leave that to stand as our summary judgment on anybody who acts particularly surprised by its committing the cardinal sin of silliness, but I’m feeling indulgent today, so we’ll dig a little deeper into the substance of this claim just for the hell of it.

The part that seems to draw the most ire along these lines is the decision to reveal an alternative history for the Beatles extending into the 1970s, having ditched Paul and replaced him with two new members: Billy and a German called Klaus. Naturally, given Doctor Who‘s general tendency to adhere to the verisimilitude of real-world popular culture and history if possible, this sticks out like a sore thumb, and certainly doesn’t square with the more conventional treatment of the band in books like The Left-Handed Hummingbird, which treats the Beatles’ rooftop concert in January 1969 as their last live performance, just as it was in the real world.

And yes, it’s silly, but it’s silly in a way which is also particularly interesting within the very specific confines of The Devil Goblins from Neptune. As we’ve said, this is a book whose entire raison d’être is to serve as a love letter to the seventies, a decade which a quick Google search for Topping and Day’s respective ages predictably confirms would have fallen smack dab in the middle of the two authors’ childhoods.

The Beatles, on the other hand, very pointedly do not fit within that decade. Their ties to the sixties are as intractable a part of their totemic mythos as you’re ever likely to see in a band of their considerable stature. Let It Be was released just five months into the decade – a day prior, for those of you playing the home game, to the broadcast of the first episode of Inferno on BBC1 – and by that point it was already clear that it was going to serve as a de facto epitaph for the group, given the severe personal frictions that had plagued the Fab Four throughout the record’s protracted, on-again off-again recording sessions.

So while the decision to distort the footprint of such a monumental pop culture event is the sort of thing of which it definitely behooves us to take note, our definition of “take note” needn’t automatically be as simple as “get on the Internet and complain very loudly about it.”

The key clue lies within one of the more surface-level observations that we made, namely that the Beatles are actually a sixties band. To further compound the inanity of this comment, I submit for the consideration of the board that the seventies did, in fact, follow on from the sixties. Stop me if I’m getting too technical, won’t you?

Because as much as The Devil Goblins from Neptune is blatantly and unapologetically concerned with the 1970s in their own right, it also exhibits a keen awareness of that period in relation to its chronological antecedent. The world didn’t go to bed on December 31, 1969 with the conscious thought of throwing out all their Stones and Beatles records and picking up a hankering for glam rock as a replacement, it was a gradual process.

Topping and Day even highlight this in seemingly disposable moments like the Brigadier bemoaning his inability to slap a D-notice on a forthcoming record about Mars which he suspects to be heavily influenced by an illicitly obtained account of The Ambassadors of Death. Even without his subsequent instructions that Yates keep a close eye on “this Bowery chap,” it’s not exactly the stuff of first-rate Scotland Yard sleuthing to deduce that the album in question is The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.

On the most obvious level, it’s simply delightful to cheekily canonise the Pertwee Era as the secret origin of the glam rock movement, particularly if you’re inclined towards El Sandifer’s proposed dichotomy between Glam Pertwee and Action Pertwee, but Bowie also serves as a fantastic example of an artist whose rise to popularity perfectly straddles the divide between the seventies and the sixties.

Although the release of Ziggy Stardust was the first point at which one of his full-length albums had reached the truly stratospheric cultural heights that we typically associate Bowie’s name with today, his first chart hit, “Space Oddity,” was inexorably tied to one of the crowning moments of the late sixties, namely the Apollo 11 moon landing. Not only was it rushed to release just nine days before the deadliest weapon in the Eleventh Doctor’s arsenal made contact with the lunar surface, but the BBC saw fit to make use of it during their coverage of the event.

(In a spot of cosmically significant irony, it bears noting that said coverage has since fallen victim to the same BBC videotape junking policy that has claimed so many Doctor Who episodes from the Hartnell and Troughton years.)

Accordingly, The Devil Goblins from Neptune proves remarkably keyed into the ebbing optimism of the sixties, particularly as it pertains to the ramifications of events like the moon landing upon Doctor Who.

In keeping with the Virgin novels’ decision to adopt a broad “time of broadcast” dating for the UNIT stories, Topping and Day opt to ground the action in June of 1970. In the history of the Apollo programme’s manned landings, this is a particularly notable year, being the only year between 1969 and 1972 in which no astronauts landed on the moon, with the Apollo 13 mission quickly needing to be aborted in April after the rupturing of an oxygen tank disabled the service module’s electrical and life-support systems.

If Apollo 11 seemed like a crowning achievement that affirmed the triumph of Kennedy era New Frontier-style liberalism in the field of technological progress, Apollo 13 offered a sobering reminder of the degree to which the harsh vacuum of space remained inimical to human life even in the face of technological know-how.

Of course, the novel doesn’t resist the opportunity to puncture the lingering mythos of Camelot and the Space Race. Echoing a quote commonly attributed to senior Churchill aide and eventual Director-General of the BBC Sir Ian Jacob as to why the Allies were able to win the Second World War, the Doctor and Trainor trade snide remarks about the British Rocket Group’s mission to Neptune having been made possible by the collaboration of the Americans’, Russians’ and Brits’ respective German scientists.

Both this and the Jacob quotation, naturally, are not-so-oblique references to the poaching of lead Nazi scientists like Wernher von Braun as a part of Operation Paperclip, which has the added bonus of further grounding The Devil Goblins from Neptune within the X-Files playbook, given Carter’s choice to build out the series’ big season-bridging three-parter from that dark chapter in Western history less than two years earlier. Indeed, 1995 also saw a dramatisation of the Apollo 13 mission by Ron Howard, picking up the second-most nominations at that year’s Academy Awards and becoming the third-highest grossing film.

It’s also telling that the book revolves around a mission to Neptune, and picks the planet as the source of the titular devil goblins. It’s obviously supremely cheeky to point out that the British space programme never explored Neptune, but even NASA only ever managed a flyby with Voyager 2 in August 1989. Generally speaking, the planet’s primary symbolic significance is as a marker of the very edge of the Solar System – Pluto’s claims to planethood having already come under increasing scrutiny in the 1990s following more in-depth mapping and exploration of the Kuiper Belt – and it therefore serves as a literal fringe case for the ideological underpinnings of the Space Race.

And what, pray tell, do these knights of Camelot find upon metaphorically exploring these strange new worlds, boldly going forth in suits of armour that would make Lancelot blush? The Waro, a set of monstrous creatures tied so fundamentally to the aesthetics of psychedelia that they can only be described as the ultimate bad trip.

(This is all the more relevant when juxtaposed against the misguided cult of the Venus People, clearly pulling from the long tradition of science fiction treating Venus as comparable to Earth, dreams that had eventually been scuppered by the revelations of Space Age missions to the planet. The misidentification of the Waro as Venusian rather than Neptunian serves to reinforce the sense that an old order of conceiving of space is passing into memory. In the 1970s, there is no life in space, only bad vibes.)

Their intrusions upon the narrative, especially in the first half, are always tied to events and places that are at least vaguely adjacent to the counterculture, starting with a fictitious rock concert directly said to have been modelled on Woodstock.

And this leads us to the other thing that I think a lot of folks get wrong about this book, or at a minimum don’t care to explore in too much depth, namely the sudden introduction of the heretofore unknown Gallifreyan ability of soul-catching. It goes without saying that it’s strongly redolent of the Vulcan mind meld, tapping into a bubbling undercurrent of fascination in sixties popular culture with psychic abilities and the concept of a method of information sharing that is more concerned with emotions and impressions than neat, structured words and sentences.

All of this gets boiled down, in the course of most objections, to a rather dreary summation of “It’s a cheap plot contrivance.” Which, fair enough, it probably is. But let’s be honest with ourselves, this too is perfectly in tune with the book’s ambitions to out-seventies the seventies and out-Pertwee Pertwee.

This is precisely the kind of stunt that the Third Doctor was always pulling to get out of danger, and there’s nothing about “soul-catching” that I find more inherently objectionable than whipping out a convenient Venusian lullaby that inexplicably shares the melody of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,” or curing hypnosis with the application of a blue crystal that just so happened to be acquired in an otherwise profoundly non-sequiturish sequence in the first episode of The Green Death. Inded, both ideas are considered veritably iconic, another instance of the Pertwee Era shaping Doctor Who even with some of its weaker tendencies.

Contrary to what you might expect, we’re also not going to lay into it for being another instance of my perennial bugbear, namely Wilderness Years writers attempting to capture the feel of Star Trek, as shamelessly cribbing the mind meld as a part of your attempt to interrogate the changing nature of Doctor Who between the sixties and seventies is at least a considerably more novel and inventive approach to the idea than most.

So the Waro, by dint of their psychedelic nature, very firmly belong to the Troughton Era rather than the Pertwee Era. They are the bad trip that scares you off psychedelics for good, and makes you do crazy things like reinvent yourself to try and achieve a more socially realist brand of heroism. That was, as Sandifer has argued, the entire ostensible point of the Doctor’s exile at the end of The War Games.

But as we’ve hinted at, that isn’t quite how things turned out for the Doctor. Instead, his exile just… made him a Tory. The psychedelic nightmare of the Waro exists so far outside of his sphere of existence that he has to be subjected to multiple attempts at a violent rendition by the Soviet branch of UNIT and trucked off to Siberia before he can actually encounter them directly. Forget crossing the void beyond the mind, he’ll be lucky if he can make it to the Baltic.

Topping and Day add to this through the inclusion of the Interludes. They’re brief things, focusing in on a small cluster of people responding to events in the main body of the story, but they underscore what seems to be a key point of the novel, namely applying Wilderness Years storytelling conceits to the Pertwee Era and showing once and for all that true social realism – insofar as an adventure with devil goblins can ever be said to approach any kind of “realism” – was always entirely possible within the framework of the period, had Letts and Dicks chosen to adopt it.

(It’s telling that the adventures of Pigbin Josh from The Claws of Axos are arguably the closest thing to these Interludes one can really find within the Pertwee Era proper, which is hardly much of a triumph given the extent to which he’s played as an entirely unintelligible comedy yokel.)

It’s very hard not to detect the lingering influence of Cornell’s lambasting of Terror here, but that’s certainly not a bad influence to have. The Devil Goblins from Neptune seems decidedly uneasy with the place UNIT occupies in the programme’s iconography, in a way that hasn’t really been true of any Third Doctor novel to a substantial degree since Dancing the Code, with even otherwise paranoid works like The Scales of Injustice and Who Killed Kennedy both foisting off the majority of the blame for any ignominious deeds on UNIT’s part to external actors like the Master and Department C19.

But here, things are considerably more nuanced. Yes, the basic moral rectitude of fan favourites like the Brigadier, Benton and Yates is more or less preserved, as you’d expect, but there’s a certain scepticism towards the military mindset that one suspects you wouldn’t be able to get away with these days, particularly not in the context of modern Doctor Who wherein Jemma Redgrave’s Kate Stewart has increasingly become a straightforward heroic figure of the most earnest kind.

It’s nothing glaringly terrible, mind; it’s not like Topping and Day have inserted some previously undiscussed part of the Brigadier’s backstory in which he reveals himself to have sympathised with Enoch Powell or something. Rather, it’s a series of little things that remind you that there’s something ever so slightly off-kilter about the way these characters view the world as opposed to the viewpoint we typically associate with the Doctor.

It’s stuff like the Brig remembering spending the Summer of Love serving in the Aden Emergency and condemning a Private to summary execution for cowardice, or the gloriously cynical sequence in which Yates pulls rank and unwittingly sends Benton into an area with a bomb, just so that he can have him complete a self-admittedly menial task, only to immediately sneak off to the Brigadier’s office and drink from the bottle of scotch in his filing cabinet. These touches constantly remind the audience that these beloved, programmatic comfort characters are still military-minded men at the end of the day.

The consequences for the Doctor are interesting in their own right, as Topping and Day seem to lay bare the base hypocrisy at the heart of the Pertwee Era’s frequently lacking politics. One moment he’ll be reprimanding Liz’s erstwhile Cambridge colleague for losing sight of the human element in his scientific endeavours, and the next he’ll be swanning around gentleman’s clubs as a long-time member and name-dropping Wernher von Braun, even if he does describe him as a “sordid little man,” which does feel like a bit of an understatement.

The reader is thus kept ever so slightly off balance once more, even as the novel’s portrait of Pertwee feels perfectly in keeping with that on television. Moments that would otherwise play as simple rejections of jingoism and Anglocentrism like his jovial declaration that you can’t expect all aliens to pop out of the sewers near St. Paul’s – a wonderful line that, as with the willingness on Shuskin and Bruce’s part to trample over the UK branch of UNIT for their own goals, serves to underscore just how much of the UNIT Era was rooted, unwittingly or otherwise, in a vision of the world in which Britain was a legitimate superpower with its own space programme, say – thus become decidedly more ambiguous.

Less ambiguous by far, on the other hand, is Thomas Bruce, who is simply delightful despite being, at the risk of putting too fine a point on it, a complete and utter bastard. As far as deconstructions of the romantic spy-fi fantasy that so often animated the Pertwee Era go, it’s hard to imagine one more ludicrously overblown and jagged-edged than this.

Admittedly, there isn’t actually all that much in the way of a narrative reason for him to be in this story beyond getting the UNIT family to link the conspiracy back to Area 51 in time for the climax, to the point where he completely disappears from the final battle between the Waro and the Nedenah and we learn about his fate after the fact, but on a thematic level, he’s a real treat.

While the default assumption might be, given Doctor Who‘s longstanding tradition of serving as a bit of a narratological sandbox, that Bruce is supposed to represent the external narrative force of the James Bond franchise come to wreak havoc upon the structure of the programme, I think you can in fact construct a reasonably solid case for his being an extrapolation of the worst elements of the Third Doctor’s character, stripped of all the redeeming or likeable aspects.

Like the Doctor, he clearly prizes the finer things in life, but he takes it so far as to stop in the middle of a murder to bemoan the loss of a tailored suit, and while Three never openly exhibits the kind of seething, virulent misogyny and sexist objectification with which Bruce regards Corporal Bell and Liz, he certainly had his fair share of uncomfortable, paternalistically condescending moments over the years.

(He is, to pick one example from this very book, momentarily flustered by Liz and Shuskin’s declaration that they don’t have hairpins on them. “What? You’re both women aren’t you?” he exclaims, which is perhaps a trifle overdone on the novel’s part, but after the totally po-faced, unironic espousing of Dicksian sexism that we got with The Eight Doctors, it’s frankly nice to see this failing of the Pertwee Era gestured at at all.)

Even the method with which the unfortunate Billy Donald is dispatched, with a flask of hydrochloric acid to the face, is wonderfully acerbic in a novel so suffused with psychedelia as this one, and almost seems to suggest that Bruce might be staying truer to the spirit of the sixties than the Doctor himself. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.

It is, in short, much the same trick that Cornell pulled with his postulation of the alternative Third Doctor as the leader of the Inferno Earth all the way back in Revelation, but no less effective for its reuse here.

In a way, it also serves to loop right back around to the Beatles. When all is said and done, we also ought to acknowledge that that too was really just a mild twist on a trick the TV show itself pulled with the Jeremy Thorpe gag in The Green Death, a joke which Topping and Day go out of their way to preserve here by having a Liberal Party-inclusive coalition government declared the winner of the 1970 general election, as opposed to Edward Heath’s Conservatives as in real life, and as affirmed by Stevens in Who Killed Kennedy.

(The second time around, Terror of the Zygons chose – with all due respect to the valiant efforts of Paul Cornell to make a case for Shirley Williams in No Future – to pull the same routine with newly-elected Conservative leader Margaret Thatcher, and irreparably scuppered the grand tradition of Doctor Who making cack-handed predictions of the future by being right on the money. The joke proceeded to go on for a good eleven years after that, becoming progressively less funny and making things much worse for millions of people I could mention if I happened to have the London telephone directory on my person.)

The Pertwee Era’s politics can, in most key respects, be summed up by that joke: attempting to maintain the façade of a “near future” setting so as to avoid having to confront the problems of 1970s Britain head-on and getting to crack silly little jokes about the Beatles and Jeremy Thorpe instead, but falling headlong into the trap of all conscious attempts at creating “apolitical” art, namely that the prevailing mores and social climes of the time in which a piece of art is crafted will inevitably shape it, even without the authors/producers/directors being conscious of it.

The more astute among you might draw a connection between this and my ultimate conclusion on The Well-Mannered War, wherein it becaming searingly obvious that this half-hearted ambivalence was the ultimate undoing of Gareth Roberts’ fascination with the Williams Era, having seemingly been rooted in no greater moral reason than the sake of a good chortle.

And so here, with the most unexpected of Doctors, the first of the Past Doctor Adventures almost seems to rise to better the last of the Virgin Missing Adventures, making The Devil Goblins from Neptune a more promising debut by far than The Eight Doctors ever was across the aisle in the EDAs.

Crucially, however, underneath all the critique of the Pertwee Era here, there is a sense of giddy excitement at being able to revel in the tropes of the period; and really, no writer who totally loathes the Era and finds it truly irredeemable is liable to have gone to so much trouble to wallow in its excesses like this, and the final product is truly something to behold in all its ludicrous, overblown glory.

Much like the Pertwee Era at its best.

Miscellaneous Observations

Other subtle tweaks to real-world history include Control’s referencing the sixth National Front victory in a by-election in Walthamstow, when the real-world National Front never won a single seat in the House of Commons, though they were pretty routinely attaining alarming shares of the vote in by-elections throughout the early 1970s. It’s part and parcel of that general impulse of laying bare some of the nastiness of the Pertwee Era’s underlying logic.

Also conspicuous is the reference to an “oil crisis.” Yes, people in 1970 were certainly already talking about the possibility of having reached “peak oil,” but in a book characterised by such scrupulous attention to historical detail, it feels strange to evoke the memory of an event most commonly held to have started in earnest a good three years at minimum after the main action of the novel, with the fallout from the 1973 Yom Kippur War. It could, perhaps, be an honest mistake, but I find the alternative possibility that time in the UNIT era is just fundamentally wacky to be too tantalising to resist.

Which is also why I’m not super keen on people seizing on a line from Fitz in The Gallifrey Chronicles about collecting records from versions of the Beatles from alternate timelines as a means of “explaining” the five-member Beatles seen here and claiming that the entire book takes place in an alternate timeline, if only because that’s about the most bog-standard and conventional Doctor Who fan theory you could possibly come up with to explain this point.

On to things that can’t be explained, however, and in contrast to my general praise for the other Interludes throughout the novel, I’m still left wondering why the sixth one inexplicably set itself in the depths of the Australian Outback. Yes, I get that Interludes are always going to be at least partially non sequiturs by their very nature, but the other ones in the book are all cases of expanding on the reactions of characters we’ve seen at the periphery of scenes or with establishing new characters’ reactions to existing events.

But for a handful of pages, in a book with action pretty evenly split between the UK, the US and Siberia, we suddenly cut to Australia for no particular reason. And, sure, I’ll give Topping and Day some credit for having seemingly done enough research to actually name a real Aboriginal people rather than just fudging it in the manner of Terence Dudley and the Futu Dynasty of Four to Doomsday, or the “Kojabe Indians” of Black Orchid (which he apparently saw fit to revise to the equally fictitious “Butiu Indians” for the novelisation). They even use an authentic word from the language of that people, so… full marks for that, I suppose?

Yet this does rather have the effect of making the reader wonder all the more why they never once apparently encountered anything in whatever research they did that said “Hey, using the word ‘Aborigine’ is actually really outdated and offensive and has been considered so since at least the 1960s,” however. I mean, really, come on now. Frankly, the only reason this doesn’t manage to be as bad as Invasion of the Cat-People is that, unlike Russell, Topping and Day never blunder into casually using a full-blown slur as if it’s nothing more than a quaint colloquialism. So the bar really is in hell on this one.

It’s also just extra maddening because, like I say, this scene doesn’t even fit with anything else in the book anyway. In no other scene is it implied that the Nedenah came to Earth at any time prior to the Roswell incident in 1947, so there’s no explicit indication that we’re dealing with some sort of “ancient aliens” type premise, which is probably just as well. Actually, even within the scene itself the closest thing we get to hint at that is the presence of artistic representations of the Nedenah in some rock art.

Certainly, we’re not made privy to any new information in this scene that couldn’t have been just as ably communicated by the Brigadier’s conversations with Control, and the Nedenah themselves are a late-game contrivance anyway, only being revealed four fifths of the way through the novel, so again, I ask… why is this scene here? I know it’s a weird thing to hyperfixate on but dammit it’s odd.

Speaking of weird things, the book is strangely invested in getting us to believe in Mike Yates as a red-blooded, heterosexual womaniser of a man, which, I mean… I guess we can all have our improbable headcanons, right?

Final Thoughts

Well, hopefully this’ll put me back in the good books of the BBC novel fans, despite a few minor gripes like I just outlined. I told you The Eight Doctors was just a fluke, I am perfectly capable of enjoying Doctor Who books that aren’t by Virgin, I swear.

Anyway, hope this was enjoyable to read, because I honestly had a blast writing it. It scratched that very classical Dale’s Ramblings itch of “I can easily identify the themes I want to talk about, but how the hell do I make them cohere?” So, y’know, it’d be a pity if none of that fun rubbed off on the final product. Regardless, I hope you’ll join me next time for our second and final full-length novel from Matthew Jones, as Jason Kane returns to the New Adventures with Beyond the Sun. Until then, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

BBC Eighth Doctor Adventures Reviews: The Eight Doctors by Terrance Dicks (or, “Pieces of Eight”)

“My next question is a very simple one. Why?”

~ The Doctor, speaking for many a reader

Writing an ongoing set of book reviews for well over five and a half years is bound to change some of your outlooks on the way you approach and respond to art. This is especially true when you’re a few days shy of your fifteenth birthday when you post the first instalment in said series.

Like so many things in life, however, one is frequently not particularly conscious of these changes as they’re actually happening, and it’s only as you begin to look back that you notice just how far your opinions have evolved.

To pick a totally arbitrary and not at all thematically appropriate example, if you had asked me about a year or two ago whether I preferred the prospect of having to dream up an ending to a series of reviews, or to forge a new beginning and start afresh by discussing a whole new subject, I would pretty unequivocally side with the latter.

After all, endings are emotionally fraught things at the best of times, representing a sense of closure and the deprivation of entire avenues of possibility. No matter what, once I reviewed The Dying Days, that would represent the last chance I would ever get to offer my first-blush opinions on a New Adventure featuring the Doctor. Yes, I could theoretically go back and do a re-review at any point in the future if I so chose, but that would by definition be a fundamentally different experience, perpetually positioned in contrast to my original review, even if the underlying analysis remained the same and was merely expressed in slightly updated terms.

With all of that being said, at this present moment, I am forced to disagree pretty heavily with my past self’s judgment, as I now find myself staring down the barrel of deliberately fashioning a beginning almost from wholecloth for the first time since starting the increasingly inaccurately named Virgin Adventures Reviews in March 2018.

We can, of course, quite trivially raise the expected pedantic objections to this claim. What about Goth Opera, you ask? Well, it tied into that month’s New Adventure and was written by one of the line’s most acclaimed and popular authors, softening the impact of its status as the first Missing Adventure. Oh No It Isn’t? Same author, actually, and consciously written to build off of the sixty-one prior New Adventures, while at least pantomiming the motions – sorry – of a series’ first novel so as to get the BBC’s copyright lawyers to look the other way.

Perhaps the closest thing to a real “beginning” in the sense that we mean it here would be my decision to go back and cover the first Decalog, requiring as it did a complete adjustment to my usual format so as to better fit the context of a short story collection as opposed to the countless novels I had covered at that date.

And so we arrive, at long last, at The Eight Doctors, the first of BBC Books’ Eighth Doctor Adventures range. You might think, given everything I’ve just said, that I consider finding an angle with which to start – the most important part of any Dale’s Ramblings post, as the rest is really just an extended improv session trying desperately to masquerade as a well thought-out and considered review – to be an exceedingly difficult task, requiring us to jettison all of the assumptions we’ve built up throughout the VARs.

This is, of course, ludicrous. While I very plainly couldn’t keep the “Virgin New/Missing Adventures Reviews” title, I feel pretty confident in declaring that the overwhelming majority of my readerbase is not going to exclusively view this post in a vacuum. Everything I’ve written so far, and will go on to write, inevitably exists in the shadow of the last one hundred and one books.

In hindsight, this was even true of Genesys, the first full-length original novel ever to feature the Doctor, with heartfelt apologies to any fans of Doctor Who and the Invasion from Space who might be tuning in for the first time. The only reason I didn’t treat it in a manner in accordance with that observation was, once again, that I was fourteen and clueless.

At a bare minimum, the presence of the Seventh Doctor and Ace clearly signified that the book was conceptually nested within the final two seasons of the classic show, including the rather salient contextual point that said show had been cancelled barely eighteen months earlier.

The novel’s lens was only further widened by the strong sense that John Peel really would rather have been writing for any incarnation other than the Seventh Doctor, given his tendency to write the character more in line with Pip and Jane Baker’s original take in Time and the Rani, to say nothing of the rather extraneous cameos by the Third and Fourth Doctors.

And funnily enough, talking about a writer who clearly wishes they were writing for any other Doctor and has seen fit to include a bunch of extraneous cameos is pretty much the perfect segue into talking about The Eight Doctors itself.

These days, people who are sufficiently interested in the Wilderness Years novels to actually bother reading some janky old WordPress site on the topic are certainly well aware of this book’s premise, and those who have blundered their way to this corner of the Internet unbidden are probably either A. well-acquainted enough with the classic series that they can look at the fact that this is a novel written by the man whose final televised scripting credit for the franchise was a twentieth anniversary special uniting the first five Doctors entitled The Five Doctors and take a pretty good guess at its central idea, or B. are primarily familiar with the post-2005 revival and are almost certainly totally lost.

For the benefit of this latter group, and anybody vaguely adjacent to said group, The Eight Doctors basically amounts to a magical mystery tour set immediately after the 1996 TV movie in which Paul McGann’s Eighth Doctor, in a frankly unheard of turn of events, develops amnesia and has to restore his memory by wandering through incidents from his past and meeting each of his earlier incarnations, with the point at which he meets each incarnation mapping oh-so-conveniently onto whichever script Dicks happened to have written for said Doctor, wherever applicable.

This hints at the real issue with trying to fashion a beginning from The Eight Doctors. It is not that it is necessarily inherently difficult to accomplish this task; rather, the book is structured on a fundamental level so as to provide the reader with such an overwhelming glut of content that it becomes genuinely difficult to know where to start.

But that is, in and of itself, an adequate enough beginning, and it’s especially noteworthy that I felt moved to use the word “content” here to refer to the specifics of the novel and what passes for its plot. Ordinarily, I find it a rather loathsome word when applied in the generic to refer to the sphere of human expression of which books, film and television are distinct subsets. I will almost always prefer a term like “art” or even, at a push, “media,” so long as the angels and ministers of grace defend us from the soulless, unfeeling tyranny of “content.”

It is difficult to escape the impression, however, that The Eight Doctors is a novel where the moniker is entirely apropos. If we completely reject the “content as an end unto itself” interpretation, it becomes indescribably tough to make sense of baffling decisions like, say, the presence of a State of Decay sequel and an attempted redemption of Borusa, seemingly hoping that the audience will completely forget that Dicks has not only trotted out both of these ideas before, but in the same book to boot.

In the midst of all this, it’s hard not to become mildly dispirited by the whole thing, which sets up one of the more obvious angles one can take when a figure so broadly beloved among Doctor Who fandom as to have acquired the affectionate nickname of “Uncle Terrance” suddenly turns in a book of frankly execrable quality.

It is not quite the worst-performing of his novels for Virgin or BBC Books, because we will eventually be forced to contend with a world in which Warmonger exists, but it is certainly the least-loved to date, falling third-from-last on the Sullivan rankings. It’s only beaten out by John Peel’s Legacy of the Daleks, whose panning is reasonably explicable as part of the lingering fallout from War of the Daleks, and Simon Messingham’s The Infinity Race, which is on the whole a more unexpected choice for “consensus worst novel,” but these things happen I suppose.

Still, when you consider that the lowest-ranked of his three New Adventures was Shakedown, ranked at a comparably respectable forty-fourth out of sixty-one novels, and his highest-ranked novel, Exodus, actually manages to crack the top ten, the sudden drop-off here is notable.

If this fact is depressing enough in its own right, however, it becomes crushingly so once one realises that its awfulness really isn’t that hard to explain. There’s very little here that is so far removed from the usual shortcomings of Dicks’ novels as to be completely unexpected; the only shock stems from the sheer magnitude at which these shortcomings have been allowed to run rampant through the book.

Because really, if we’re being completely honest with ourselves Dicks has always tended towards this kind of self-congratulatory and self-sabotaging sequelitis, ever since the earliest days of his engagement with the New Adventures. Exodus may have been the best NA at the time of its publication, but it was far from perfect, and the decision to treat the horrors of Nazi Germany as little more than window-dressing for an alternate history tale that picked up on the spellbinding continuity question of “What happened to the War Chief after The War Games?” was one of the novel’s tackier and cheaper elements, albeit one that Lance Parkin largely managed to retroactively redeem through the construction of Just War as a direct response to that flippancy.

Blood Harvest, meanwhile, opted to combine a sequel to State of Decay with a mercifully brief yet perplexingly anomalous last-minute follow-up to the political intrigue(?) of The Five Doctors. Given the rather mind-numbing tedium that naturally accompanies such briefs, it’s no surprise that the most entertaining parts by far were the wholly original Prohibition-era segments. Well, give or take a few rather alarming blips of typically Dicksian myopia like having the Doctor speak in defence of Al Capone, or the casual employment of rape as a particularly cheap and sordid means of putting Ace in danger.

Even Shakedown, while not overtly structured as a direct sequel to one of Dicks’ television scripts, was still centred around the return of a monster that originated under his tenure as script editor, and saw fit to include one of the few substantive appearances of said monster’s eternal nemesis, following in the footsteps of the first such appearance, that being… oh, Dicks’ own Horror of Fang Rock. Now there’s a surprise.

And that just about sums up the appropriate reaction to so much of The Eight Doctors‘ self-indulgence: “Of course.” Of course Dicks was going to ensure that we got to read the all-important tale of how the Master managed to get back to his TARDIS at Devil’s End after his escape in The Sea Devils. Of course he would not-so-subtly try and restore the primacy of The Five Doctors as the One True Vision of Gallifrey through the redemption of Borusa and the return of Flavia to the presidency. Again, the only legitimately surprising part of any of this is that he would have the sheer foolhardiness to try and do all of these things at the same time.

But OK, let’s back up for a second, because I recognise that I might very well be opening myself up to accusations of being needlessly cynical and mean-spirited towards a beloved and influential figure within the history of Doctor Who.

Sure, the obvious kneejerk rebuttal to that might be to say that The Eight Doctors gives every impression of being a needlessly cynical and mean-spirited book itself, what with the almost instantaneous decrying of the TV movie in the third paragraph as “a weird, fantastic adventure, full of improbable, illogical events,” but we might as well try and give Dicks something resembling the benefit of the doubt and try and construct a redemptive reading for what he’s trying to do beyond “taking cheap shots at the TV movie,” which was, let’s face it, not exactly an uncommon or difficult pastime among fans at the time.

The crucial clue lies, perhaps, in the amnesia, and the notion implicit therein that the series has somehow strayed from its base fundamentals, necessitating the TARDIS taking the Doctor “back to the beginning,” as it were.

In this, the most charitable reading of Dicks’ intent that I can really muster, the resulting continuity fest is meant to allow the Doctor to engage on some grand psychological, soul-searching odyssey, with each incarnation allowing him to reconnect with some core tenet of his ethics. You know the kind of thing, never cruel or cowardly, hate is always foolish and love is always wise, don’t go about smashing cavemen’s skulls in.

Profound stuff, like.

It’s worth noting that this “Take the Doctor back to the start” ethos bears more than a passing resemblance to that which Dicks had previously used as the very loose foundation for The Five Doctors, as most notably lampshaded in the “Why not? After all, that’s how it all started” line at the conclusion of the special.

(I mean, it’s also a significant ingredient in the composition of Hell Bent, although making this comparison with a straight face requires us to overlook the rather important fact that part of what elevates that story to the status of a masterpiece is its willingness to actively place itself in opposition to stories like The Eight Doctors and their obsession with Gallifrey as a sanctified and untouchable bastion of lore, but that’s by the by.)

If this feels like a very slim construction, dear reader, then that’s no accident. While I’m just about willing to consider that this might have been Dicks’ intent, it very quickly runs aground once you actually start considering the way in which he’s chosen to go about accomplishing this task. The prologue is, as we’ve discussed, already bad enough with its thinly-veiled authorial griping on points of continuity in the TV movie’s script, even going out of its way to make a point of having the amnesiac Doctor reject Richard Hudolin’s grand Victorian console room in favour of the classic design.

Any hope that the quality of these passages might just be an aberration is almost instantly dashed once we launch into the first chapter, however, because the obligatory “return to Coal Hill” sequences – exhibiting a characteristically bloody-minded literalism in the interpretation of “back to the beginning” – might actually be a shoo-in for the worst thing Dicks has ever written as a part of one of his novels.

Even in this, a small subset of the book, it’s tough to know where to begin. Sure, it’s not as if anyone expected biting social realism from the man whose idea of “Let’s make the new companion a feminist” seemed to extend no further than giving her a few condescendingly trite conversations about Women’s Lib in The Monster of Peladon or The Time Warrior, but the sheer awfulness of his attempts to capture the youth culture of 1997 and address hot button issues like the rise of crack cocaine has to be seen to be believed.

It’s a rot which extends so much deeper than the decision to cast all the drug dealers as escapees from a particularly middling public school production of West Side Story that saw fit to mash itself up with a rejected pantomime adaptation of The Wire exactly five years too early, even as that description actually serves as the perfect encapsulation of the problem: there’s just such a crashing lack of subtlety to the whole thing that it honestly beggars belief at points.

Which means that we get the obligatory Dicks moralising about the evils of crack cocaine, delivered by our requisite Ian and Barbara stand-ins – one of whom seems, quite sincerely, totally unaware of the mere existence of said substance; this being Dicks, it is perhaps unsurprising that it is the woman – with all the ethical sophistication of… well, I suppose the snarky comment to make would be to say “of your average Terrance Dicks novel,” but because I really feel like flexing my “absurd simile” muscles today, we’ll just say that it lands at some undefined point on the spectrum between Nancy Reagan and that one Pee-wee Herman PSA and leave it at that.

Even the amnesiac Doctor starts to get in on the action at one point, ranting about how “[there] was nothing like that going on in Coal Hill when [he] used to live [there!]” Which would all be terribly stirring and affecting – he said, tongue planted firmly in cheek – if it didn’t flag the rather pertinent question of “Wait, how exactly do you even remember that you used to live here?” on account of the whole amnesia thing.

(And the book establishes in no uncertain terms that the Doctor only regains memories upon meeting his past incarnations, so it simply doesn’t make sense that he’d have any memories of Coal Hill prior to meeting the First Doctor.)

As if that wasn’t enough, we’ve also got the trademark Dicks sexism, which finds its most alarming expression in a frankly appalling moment in which the Ian stand-in cracks wise about one of his pupils having an “outstanding… personality,” swiftly followed for any of the audience members who missed this hilarious joke with a bit of internal monologue from Sam in which she reflects on how “well-developed” said pupil is for her age. Oh yeah, and said pupil is also referred to as being in “Year Five.”

It’s unclear whether this is just a slip of the misogyny on Dicks’ part, and he actually meant to say “fifth year” – certainly, the references to this student being “a dedicated weekend raver” would seem to support this, although the image of Uncle Terrance reading an article about ten-year-olds attending raves in The Sun and believing in it wholeheartedly is depressingly plausible – but I mean… it’s not as if it’s meaningfully any less creepy just because a teacher is joking about a fifteen-year-old’s breasts rather than a ten-year-old.

No, what we’re left with, in either case, is a sickening bit of “boys’ club” sexism from a figure clearly constructed to evoke one of the series’ original companions. It’s not, as we’ve said, that this is really a surprise from Dicks – I direct you once more to The Time Warrior and The Monster of Peladon – but if this is what he thinks counts as “going back to basics,” then frankly maybe the franchise deserved to be killed by the TV movie to begin with.

And this issue predictably bleeds into the rest of the book as well. It’s perhaps telling that the Barbara stand-in’s protestations that her colleague is a “chauvinist oaf” are echoed later by Romana when she bridles at the patriarchal ambience – the chauvinism, even, chortle chortle – of the planet from State of Decay, and that this desire to prove that she’s just as capable as the Doctor almost immediately sees her walk into a trap.

To anyone familiar with the Pertwee Era, it feels especially nasty, as this is yet another instance of the same shortsighted conception of the companion’s role that led Letts and Dicks to jettison Liz Shaw from the programme. The very idea that the female lead could play a part other than the bland, ditzy damsel in distress who’s there to ask the Doctor a lot of questions is pretty much greeted with snorts of derisive laughter, which is a mindset that only becomes all the more insulting when applied to such a groundbreaking companion as Romana.

(Aaaand actually I wrote that part of the review right before I read this paragraph-long “gem” of gobsmacking misogyny, which I’m just going to quote in full because it really does have to be seen to be believed:

The trouble with Time Ladies, thought the Doctor rather guiltily, was that they were far too independent. He had a brief pang of nostalgia for the kind of female companion who stayed glued to his side and screamed at the first sign of danger.

That’s great, but please, tell us how you really feel, Terrance.)

All of this apparently led the editorial staff at BBC Books to conclude that it would be a totally cool and normal idea to assign the task of introducing the range’s new female companion to the only regular contributor to the novels who’s actually old enough to remember living through World War II. Surely nothing bad can come of this.

Well, if the initial characterisation of one Samantha Jones can be said to avoid being actively offensive, then that probably speaks more to the fact that Dicks barely features her outside of a handful of brief scenes than it does to anything in the way of overly skilled or deft characterisation on his part.

Indeed, it’s hard to get much of a handle on her character at all here beyond the helpfully blunt “I don’t smoke – I don’t even drink Coke. I’m a vegetarian…” line. As it turns out, “It’s difficult to get much of a handle on Sam’s character” will in many ways also prove to be a very consistent throughline among the writers themselves throughout her tenure in the novels, to varying degrees of literalisation depending on whether you’re reading a novel by Lawrence Miles, Kate Orman and Jonathan Blum or… well, basically anybody else, really.

Equally, however, the striking lack of engagement with the mere existence of Sam throughout The Eight Doctors means that it simply doesn’t make much sense to talk about that whole furore until at least the time of Vampire Science, so for now it will suffice for our purposes to say that the fact that she’s introduced in a book that is positively drenched in a particularly noxious brew of regressive gender politics does rather mean that she’s hampered a bit right out of the gate. So while Dicks may have earned the slenderest shadow of a stay of critical execution on this one point, it’s very slender indeed.

Case in point being, well, the rest of the plot, such as it is. “Such as it is,” in this case, basically translates to “one of the single most dreary experiences I’ve ever had in reading these novels.” I found myself really struggling to care a jot about the ceaseless cavalcade of infodumps and continuity references that, for the veteran fan, are simply extraneous, and are certainly none too welcoming for any newcomers in the audience either by virtue of their sheer overwhelming magnitude.

Just about every introductory scene for each new Doctor routinely sees a conversation halt mid-flow in order to dump exposition on the viewer, the absolute nadir of which has to be the moment where Tegan is able to ask precisely one question of the Doctor before Dicks feels it necessary to explain, in page upon page of copious detail, the plot of The Five Doctors and vast swathes of Time Lord lore besides.

The best thing that can be said about these sequences is that they are almost enough to make you long for the bewildering awfulness of the Coal Hill segments. As I’ve said, “Terrance Dicks takes on the crack cocaine epidemic” is an unequivocally awful premise, but it is at least supremely entertaining in the unfathomable depths that it’s willing to plumb, even if only ironically.

By contrast, what am I really supposed to make of “The First Doctor learns a very important lesson in not braining cavemen?” What am I supposed to find gripping in the scintillating tale of “The Second Doctor is reluctantly persuaded to contact the Time Lords?” Yes, there’s marginally more depth to these scenes than that, but at this point I’m leaning on the word “marginally” hard enough to leave a bruise, and what little depth there is is so blatantly and bold-facedly stated for the reader that it undoes virtually any possibility of finding anything resembling deeper or more sophisticated thematic interest, let alone general entertainment value.

No, for my money the most revealing portions of the novel are those of the Third, Fourth and Sixth Doctors, and none of them reveal anything particularly complimentary. Firstly, the fact that Dicks should give the appearance of showing preferential treatment to the only era of the programme that he served as script editor for is, as we’ve hinted at, wholly unsurprising, but even if we bite the bullet and fully embrace our cynical perspective on his motives – as it’s becoming increasingly likely that we might have to – the way in which he’s chosen to go about it feels strange at best, and downright incoherent at worst.

As others have noted, the listing of every one of Three’s adventures up to the time of his appearance in the wake of The Sea Devils is rather insipid, and it’s also hard not to read a little bit of egotism into smaller moments like the Doctor being able to recall his Venusian karate lessons even before meeting the first of his past selves, considering the martial art was only added to Don Houghton’s scripts for Inferno in accordance with preliminary notes supplied by Letts and Dicks.

In a similar vein, the decision to have Eight’s encounter with the Third Doctor mark the point at which his brain begins to break down the remaining barriers locking off his memories is governed by a logic which appears wholly arbitrary, unless one reads it as being of a piece with a larger effort to position the Pertwee Era as the crux of Doctor Who.

Sure, calculating the Doctor’s age is a mug’s game at the best of times, but if we’re using the airdates of the episodes as a rough approximation, what possible sense does it make to position this turning point in the middle of Season Nine, when there are at least seventeen further seasons’ worth of memories to come? Honestly, even the State of Decay segments would seem a more logical choice, especially since, as we’ll see from the subsequent sections, there’s no love lost between Dicks and the Nathan-Turner years.

But in the end it all comes down to the fact that The Sea Devils is a rather more iconic story, replete with all the things most people love about the Pertwee Era, and so it gets lumped with the privilege of being a lodestone for The Eight Doctors‘ weird attempts to offer up a Grand Exhibition of Doctor Who history.

(Actually, while I was going to make a point about The Sea Devils being more beloved than State of Decay, the results of the 1998 Doctor Who Magazine poll reveal the margin in contemporary fandom opinion to be rather slim, coming in at #40 as opposed to State‘s forty-fifth place. So, again, Dicks probably could have gotten away with shifting the focus if he’d really wanted to, which leaves us with the conclusion that he simply… may not have wanted to.)

At the same time, if the Third Doctor segment is supposed to be exceptional in its laudatory status, then it’s tough to know what to make of the decision to have Three pull the Tissue Compression Eliminator on Eight and threaten to steal his TARDIS. It’s not something I really object to on principle myself, and it’s certainly no more jarringly wrong than any of the other stuff I’d been subjected to by that point, but it’s interesting nevertheless to view the roughly contemporary reviews over at the Doctor Who Ratings Guide and see the extent to which many of them zero in on this moment.

And that’s indicative of the cruellest irony of The Eight Doctors. Even if we’re willing to take the book on its own terms as an attempt to reconnect to the important parts of Doctor Who‘s legacy, even if we’re willing to accept the extent to which this seems to coincide with being a bit of a personal vanity project for Dicks and a rejection of developments that came after the periods in which he was most deeply involved with the programme, the points that it’s trying to make remain frustratingly incoherent.

There’s no better example of this than the aforementioned Fourth Doctor segments. On the one hand, the decision to do a sequel to State of Decay in spite of Blood Harvest already having played that particular card feels part and parcel with other aspects of the novel seeming to exist in tension with the New Adventures, like the rejection of the Romana Presidency that had been reaffirmed as “the present” as recently as Lungbarrow, or the presentation of the Seventh Doctor as a mopey, despondent wreck in later chapters.

Yet it’s hard to imagine that any of this would have been especially satisfying either to diehard critics of the New Adventures or to newcomers. For the latter, we run into the same problem wherein there is just too much continuity dumped on top of the casual reader for them to care. The former, on the other hand, would likely end up disappointed by the degree to which Dicks seems to have interpreted “do a sequel to State of Decay” in a functionally identical manner to the last time he took on that brief, with the Doctor and Romana embroiled in the machinations of a vampiric lord who survived the downfall of the Three Who Rule.

Even some of the stylistic flourishes of the earlier novel are preserved, whether that be the copious amounts of vampire decapitation – another aspect which isn’t likely to play too well among the anti-Virgin crowd – or the reduction of Romana to a rather generic damsel in distress.

(Which, to be fair, also happened in the original State of Decay, so I guess there’s something to be said for textual faithfulness in sequels after all, huh?)

So what we’re left with is another mess. Adopting “reject some of the more controversial elements of the Virgin novels” as your mission statement is all very well and good, and even if it was never likely to score many points with someone like me who actually rather liked the Virgin books, well, it’s not as if The Eight Doctors can meaningfully erase the sixty-one New Adventures from existence. But if you’re going to do it, commit to it, because there would seem to be little point if you’re going to try to throw out the contributions of novels like Blood Harvest while simultaneously rehashing irheir plot and overall aesthetic in just about every sense that matters.

We’ll gloss over the Fifth Doctor segment, as the grandest aspiration it seems to possess is to correct the alleged searing error of having left out the Sontarans from The Five Doctors the first time around. Predictably, the solution Dicks reaches is to simply reprise the scene in which the Raston Warrior Robot mows down a bunch of Cybermen, only with the substitution of said belligerent potatoes, to the point of going out of his way to have Ryoth actively consider and reject the idea of Timescooping a Cyberman to kill the Doctor.

And then we have The Trial of a Time Lord, Redux, at which point my eyes don’t so much glaze over as they do spontaneously enrol in a summer semester pottery course because they really just need the extra credits.

It’s simply interminable. Honestly, I know I’m coming very close to exhausting the thesaurus’ arsenal of synonyms for “bad,” but the decision to spend a good fifth of the novel’s length on a piece of turgid dross that only exists to wrap up some plot holes in Trial‘s basic structure is so woefully ill-conceived that it just about marks the point at which any of my goodwill is exhausted.

The convolutions which the narrative undertakes truly have to be seen to be believed, involving as it does a Sixth Doctor from an alternative timeline, an attempted explanation for the throwaway bits of lore that were cursorily cobbled together as a part of the original Trial – most notably the passing references to the deposition of the High Council and insurrectionists on Gallifrey – and a deeper exploration of how exactly the Doctor was “deposed” as claimed by The Mysterious Planet.

Naturally, it involves a whole other heretofore unknown presidency from some chap named Niroc who overthrew Flavia with the help of backing from the Celestial Intervention Agency in order to cover up the organisation’s dastardly deeds on the planet Ravolox – which is, we ought not forget, an alternate name for a devastated Earth – only to get undone by the timely intervention of Rassilon and a restored Borusa and… sweet Jesus, why are we doing any of this?

I mean, sincerely, why? Who thought this would be a good springboard for a line of original novels? I’ll say this for John Peel, he at least had the decency to try and give the semblance of a plot structure to Genesys beyond “Let’s rehash a bunch of tired continuity debates and explore past glories.”

(And thankfully, none of his own books could ever possibly be described in such terms, no sir.)

Yes, that plot structure was stultifyingly dull in its own way, and was filled with crass sexual assault apologia under the guise of enlightened historical relativism, but as we’ve discussed at length, it’s not as if Uncle Terrance can really be said to be a paragon of feminist virtue with this one either.

I genuinely can’t remember the last time I had to actively struggle quite this hard to convince myself to pick up a book after putting it down. It’s simply flooring to see a novel so committed to inundating its readers in a ceaseless flow of pure, unadulterated content, precisely all of which is devoid of any kind of deeper or more profound meaning than “It appeared on television a couple of decades ago, and it might have been written or edited by Terrance Dicks.”

No, a book like Oh No It Isn’t! might not have been the most financially savvy step for Virgin to take, and it might have doomed any chance of the New Adventures having a long-term future post-Doctor Who, but I simply can’t bring myself to say that it is a materially weaker novel than The Eight Doctors. I can’t even say it of a more middling and traditional outing like Dragons’ Wrath, much as nobody would have been able to compare the two immediately at the start of June.

Based solely off of first impressions, the only conclusion to draw was that the ground-breaking, innovative brilliance that the New Adventures achieved in their prime had been sacrificed in order to bring the world a series of novels which, it seemed alarmingly possible, would be of a piece with the quality of The Eight Doctors.

It’s hard to call this anything but the very definition of “trading down.”

The Eight Doctors is ultimately just a tedious, unrelenting literary void of a novel whose continuity-drowned monotony is only ever broken up by the odd embarrassing flare-up of Dicks’ distressingly sexist tendencies, or the utter laughability of the attempts to capture 1990s London, and the latter of these two points offers small comfort when one considers that it’s virtually absent from the bulk of the book. The other offers precisely zero comfort, on account of its being, y’know, sexism.

Still, I suppose the saving grace of starting out at rock bottom like this is that it becomes very difficult to dig yourself any deeper into a hole. Plus, the second EDA is an Orman and Blum production, and they’re always a delight, so let’s just call this an initial speed-bump, shall we? After all, it’s not as if we’re going to do anything quite so potentially disastrous as hiring John Peel to do a Dalek story, so it should be pretty smooth sailing from here on out.

Wait, why are you smirking?

Miscellaneous Observations

In addition to everything else wrong with the Sixth Doctor bits, we get some typically horrendous takes from Dicks on the nature of democracy and politics. Witness his sense of righteous indignation as he has the Doctor stress how imperative it is that the High Council turn itself to the business of reform rather than of revolution, citing the example of Napoleon as a cautionary tale. Truly, Edmund Burke would be so very proud.

And yet again, incoherence in the novel’s thinking raises its ugly head. If it’s bad for the Master to take over and become Dictator of Gallifrey, why is it suddenly OK for Flavia or Borusa to emerge as strongman leaders out of this time of crisis? Beyond the fact that the two of them were in The Five Doctors, of course.

Let’s not forget that Flavia’s immediate response here to the Master’s threat to expose the misdeeds of the Agency and the High Council on Ravolox is to suggest that the revelations in Glitz’s testimony can be suppressed, which makes the novel’s apparently sincere investment in the character as the last best hope for political transparency on Gallifrey all the more strange.

Oh yeah, and Dicks also makes use of the “Democracy is the worst system of government” quote from Churchill, having previously done so in Blood Harvest. Did he just… totally forget that he wrote that book? At least the latest reiteration of Raymond Chandler’s famous line in The Simple Art of Murder is just about charming enough that I can excuse it. By my money, I’m pretty sure Exodus is the only one of Terrance’s novels to date not to feature some riff on “down these mean streets,” which makes it hardly surprising that his next book just throws all caution to the wind and titles itself Mean Streets.

Not much to say about the Seventh Doctor segments, as they present a massive contrast to the endless Trial rehash by feeling comparatively rushed to the point of seeming like an afterthought. It’s a deeply weird experience, as we’re still so close to the EDAs and the TV movie having struck a deathblow against the New Adventures that it’s obvious nobody really knows what to do with the elements of the earlier range.

As befits the general lack of acknowledgment afforded Lungbarrow, what we get is an unsurprisingly half-hearted attempt at NA angst, stripped of all the nuance and subtlety that actually made the books compelling and boiled down to “The Doctor has depression and might be mildly suicidal,” because Dicks has never been a writer for whom “brooding malaise” is a preferred mode of operation.

There are vague nods to Seven’s status quo leading into the TV movie, but while he bemoans having no companions, the book studiously avoids mentioning Chris, so you can quite easily just choose to believe that Ace departed somewhere along the line, presumably in a manner quite unlike Love and War, and that the NAs didn’t happen. Which, like the rest of the book, is as disappointing as it is entirely unsurprising.

Also, was Dicks channeling Spock’s Brain by featuring a group of skin-clad cavemen called the Morgs as the source of the Master’s sudden snake powers? Bold choice of source material, but fitting in its own way for this book, I suppose.

The “Why can’t companions just be useless again?” paragraph is obviously bad enough, but there are plenty of other offenders for your consideration for the Academy Award for Best Sexism, from the unintentionally hilarious bit where Terrance reuses the description of Zoe as a “very small, very pretty girl” verbatim by way of describing Jo just one chapter later, to the frankly stomach-turning moment in which the Doctor proclaims that Sam is unlike his past companions and that “they must be breeding a new kind of human female.”

Sometimes there are things in these books that I really just wish I had never read, and I think I’ll leave it at that.

Final Thoughts

So I didn’t really like that, then. Yeah, with the sincerest apologies to any Eighth Doctor Adventures fans, there was so much here that simply didn’t work for me. And yes, the continuity is overpowering, but frankly I think people don’t talk nearly enough about the horribly regressive attitudes towards women and the “given place” of the companion within the ensemble, such that even if I were to just turn off my brain and get into the swing of things, these elements would just bring me crashing back down to Earth every time.

Still, onwards and upwards, I suppose. Next time, we see if the Pertwee Era can put in a better showing, as Martin Day returns with frequent collaborator Keith Topping, but absent one other very important comrade, in the first Past Doctor Adventure, The Devil Goblins from Neptune. Until then, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Virgin New Adventures Reviews: Dragons’ Wrath by Justin Richards (or, “A Dark and Stormy Knight”)

Justin Richards has always been a figure whose early career is rather difficult to parse without allowing future knowledge, gleaned with the benefit of hindsight, to loom large over the conversation.

This, in and of itself, is not all that noteworthy or insightful an observation to make of an author in this period. Just about everything in the Wilderness Years is haunted to some extent by the lingering spectre of the 2005 revival, as that’s one of the crucial events – a fixed point, even – which serves to define the contours of what exactly it even means for Doctor Who to have a definite “Wilderness Years” to begin with. If it weren’t for Rose, we’d probably still be talking about the programme as if it was just a series of books… or audios, or comics, depending on your taste.

But in the case of Richards, we’re faced with a situation that threatens to turn many of our fundamental assumptions about this era and its creatives on their head. Unlike some of the more star-studded names turned out by the New Adventures like Mark Gatiss, Gareth Roberts, or Russell T. Davies, he never graduated to writing for the television programme upon its return.

Mind you, that certainly isn’t a slight against him, particularly in light of the BBC’s rather logical decision to err on the side of only hiring writers who have proven their television bona fides with prior writing credits for the medium. In fact, Richards is in this regard quite similar to someone like Kate Orman, and by any reasonable yardstick, that’s pretty good company to be keeping.

It’s also not my intention to suggest that he didn’t have an important part to play in the history of Doctor Who. Indeed, I myself can attest to this, as it was a copy of Richards’ 2005 guidebook The Legend Continues that served as my first exposure to the franchise to begin with, even if the fact that it only covered the first season of the revival meant that I remained almost entirely ignorant of the sheer pop cultural impact of David Tennant for the longest time. Hell, I read that thing from cover to cover so often that the spine detached itself.

But this also begins to gesture at the point I’m trying to make, which is that Richards very much came to serve as a reasonably safe pair of hands to whom BBC Books could entrust the larger Doctor Who brand and the cataloguing of its history in guidebook form without fear of his initiating anything quite as Earth-shattering and polarising as, say, the War in Heaven arc. It’s telling that he was chosen to pen the first New Series Adventure upon the advent of the range in May 2005, and he would go on to contribute at least one novel to each of the series’ first three batches of books.

While that might be all very well and good when one is a mere five years removed from the departure of Stephen Cole in the wake of The Ancestor Cell, Richards would ultimately occupy this position of relative primacy in the novel range for a frankly astronomical period of time, with his final NSA being 2014’s Silhouette, written to feature the Twelfth Doctor, fourteen years after he took the reins on the Eighth Doctor Adventures with The Burning and some twenty years after his debut novel, Theatre of War.

In other words, this is a rare situation in which a writer’s future work hangs over their early novels not because of its landing with a resounding impact in the lake of continuity, but simply through the sheer brute force of longevity, and the number of comparable artists I can think of who fit this profile is vanishingly small indeed.

There’s a natural temptation, in light of these facts, to try and map the arc of Richards’ career and thereby determine which novels served as pivots about which that career turned. Because a critic can rarely go wrong with inventing an overly granular and speific neologism – assuming your definition of “going wrong” doesn’t include “being a bit of a pretentious git” – I’m going to tentatively dub the larger process at work here “handsification,” which I’m loosely defining as the gradual transformation of an author into a stalwart and reliable member of a larger pool of writers.

Becoming a safe pair of hands, in other words.

And so we arrive at Dragons’ Wrath, which really feels like the first point at which it’s appropriate to float this subject. Even still, based purely on the information that would have been available to readers in June 1997, and not knowing just how prolific Richards would prove to be in the years ahead, there’s little here that seems to hint at the shape of things to come in a particularly overt fashion.

Scheduling-wise, the thirteen month gap between this and The Sands of Time isn’t too far out of line with established historical precedent, that being the same span which separated Theatre of War from System Shock. A release timetable of one novel per year puts Richards firmly in step with the vast majority of New Adventures authors, which is particularly ironic given that this is actually only his second contribution to the range as opposed to its past Doctor-focused sister line.

Of course, it’s the height of folly to try and pretend that we can ever wholly shut off our knowledge of the future in cases like these, so we might as well just do away with all pretense and note that Richards ultimately goes on to pen another three Benny novels before the close of the New Adventures just two and a half years from now. Given the three year gap we just noted between his first and second NAs, that’s a pretty significant change of pace. If we widen our consideration to include his novels for BBC Books from the same thirty-month period, and include Dragons’ Wrath in our tally, we’re looking at some eight books, all told.

Even if you want to discount all of that, however, there’s still a sense in which Dragons’ Wrath feels rather more casual in its ambitions than Richards’ earlier works. Theatre of War eschewed the traditional structure of the New Adventures in favour of a Bernice-heavy first half, while introducing a mysterious, scheming guest character whose Machiavellian plans even managed to trip up the Doctor. The Sands of Time tried to follow up a classic and well-regarded tale from the Hinchcliffe years. Even System Shock was clearly trying to be a cutting edge techno-thriller with a truly epic, global scope, though that edge was dulled considerably by the decision to focus on rather transitory aspects of the Internet, particularly in the entirely unironic references to such quaint Al Gore-isms as the “information superhighway.”

Superficially, Dragons’ Wrath features all the traditional Richards twists and turns, and it even affords Braxiatel a proper starring role for the first time since The Empire of Glass, firmly establishing the character’s status as a vital pillar of the world of Bernice Summerfield. Yet underneath it all, it’s hard to escape the impression that this is a novel which lands pretty squarely in the “business as usual” camp that typifies the process of handsification.

(Or, well, I’m going to say it typifies it, being my word and all.)

According to Richards himself in the ever-handy Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story, this was very much a product of deliberate design on Virgin’s part, who wanted the second post-Doctor NA to contrast against the more out there elements of Paul Cornell’s initial panto-drenched salvo: “They wanted to do something completely off-the-wall and wacky for the first book, I suppose to intrigue people. The second book would then be much more typical of the direction of the series.”

Furthermore, although the first four books in the range – spanning from Oh No It Isn’t! through to Dave Stone’s Ship of Fools – were developed roughly simultaneously with one another, it was apparently Dragons’ Wrath which had progressed the furthest in the initial stages of development, and Richards consequently found himself fielding inquiries from his three authorial compatriots, lending them the first few chapters of his novel in an effort to harmonise ideas and characters across the line’s opening quartet.

With so much behind-the-scenes pressure being brought to bear on the book to serve as an anchor of stability amidst the chaos of a nascent fiction series, it is perhaps unsurprising that it should end up feeling rather workmanlike, and I don’t even necessarily intend the use of that adjective in a strictly pejorative sense.

After all, there exists one more substantial pressure upon the novel that we haven’t quite acknowledged just yet. While Oh No It Isn’t! and the fourth Decalog’s release date in mid-May 1997 occupied a liminal space between the end of the New Adventures’ most relevant form and the onset of BBC Books’ Eighth Doctor Adventures line, Dragons’ Wrath ultimately saw print on June 19, some seventeen days after the twin release of The Eight Doctors and The Devil Goblins from Neptune, placing it squarely in a post-EDA/PDA world.

In such a context, then, it only makes sense that one might wish to establish a certain baseline of normality for any curious readers who might have been lured over to examine the Virgin side of the fence. I mean, yes, one might ask why you wouldn’t do something like this in the series’ very first book, but we’ve already established in my review of Oh No It Isn’t! that I am supremely uninterested in litigating the question of whether or not it was a smart financial decision to lead with something as singularly strange as that novel.

And to give credit where it’s due, Dragons’ Wrath manages to project a reasonable image of normalcy, if nothing else. In presenting a tale of galaxy-hopping and long-defeated warlords having left ancient treasures lying around – that may or may not be all that they appear at first glance – it ends up serving as a far more reliable window into the kind of story that will predominantly be favoured by the Benny range going forward.

In practice, one cannot seriously suggest that every single book in the line will resemble Dragons’ Wrath, and the series will gradually become more comfortable in its utilisation of a more overtly experimental arsenal of literary devices ranging from unreliable narrators and metatextuality through to long-form serialisation and worldbuilding by way of the Gods arc.

Even so, Richards lays a framework here which is not only broadly functional, but is prevalent enough in later novels that it at least bears remarking upon, and if it perhaps seems like the most obvious and basic solution to the rather pressing question of “How do we structure the adventures of a spacefaring archaeologist, sans police box?” then one is left feeling that this is very much the point of the exercise.

In appraising that exercise, there is probably no better place to start than with the most enduring contribution Dragons’ Wrath makes to the future of Bernice’s adventures, namely one Irving Braxiatel. He has, admittedly, been around for quite some time, being concocted by Richards some three years ago in Theatre of War, instantly stealing the show and becoming one of the more fascinating and morally inscrutable members of the New Adventures’ ever-expanding guest cast.

And yet, by all accounts, the character’s genesis was marked from the beginning by a certain pragmatism, coming to take such a prominent role in the novel by sheer happenstance more than anything more deliberate. The Inside Story claims that Theatre of War was always planned to include the Braxiatel Collection as a fannish allusion to a throwaway line from Romana in City of Death – although, as has been pointed out, it seems that Douglas Adams opted for the spelling “Braxiotel” in his original script – with the proprietor himself never being seen.

It was only when it emerged that Gary Russell was intending to close Legacy with Bernice taking a brief archaeological sabbatical from the company of the Doctor and Ace that Richards opted to link the two novels together, and in so doing seized upon the opportunity to put a face to the patronage of the expedition to Phaester Osiris in whose employ Benny would find herself in the opening of the following novel.

This sense of making a rather judicious use of the character bled through into his subsequent appearances. Barring his obligatory participation in the grand celebration of the fiftieth New Adventure in Happy Endings, Braxiatel’s only stint as a guest star pre-Dragons’ Wrath came in Andy Lane’s The Empire of Glass, in which he was very clearly intended as an ambassador of New Adventures lore come to intersect with the Missing Adventures a la Cold Fusion. Much like the career of Richards himself at this point, then, the Braxiatel seen in Dragons’ Wrath seems to exist in a curious state of transition, a bridge between what the character has historically been defined as and what he will eventually be.

Indeed, we’re still several years removed from the establishment of rather crucial pieces of the character’s distinctive flavour. It isn’t until Tears of the Oracle that we’ll become party – in the oblique fashion characteristic of latter-day Virgin’s relationship with Doctor Who continuity – to a certain significant family connection, or get to witness his acquisition of KS-159, destined to become the home of his eponymous Collection and the long-time centre for Big Finish’s own Benny range. Miles Richardson won’t be tasked with bringing the role to life on audio until the recording sessions for Lance Parkin’s The Extinction Event, some four years hence.

In explaining the rationale behind Brax’s return in The Inside Story, it’s perhaps particularly revealing that Richards leans heavily on an argument based on narrative mechanics:

‘In all these sorts of things,’ says Richards, ‘you need some sort of mentor who can explain the boring stuff that you don’t want your hero or heroine to be bogged down with – whether it’s an ongoing character or a new one each time. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, it’s the Marcus Brodie [sic] character for example, who can fill in the background though he doesn’t take a part in the action. […]

And as well as all the other things the Doctor is, he is that character. Sometimes you have somebody else as well who’s got local knowledge, but it’s a role that needs to be played. In a long series that isn’t about the Doctor, it’s not credible that Benny knows absolutely everything about everything. But it is credible that Brax can pop up and say, “Oh, you need to read this book,” or, “That will be when such and such happened.” It’s a nice, easy shorthand way for getting through some narrative strictures.’

This is, fittingly enough, a pretty decent showcase for the virtues of the rather more traditionalist style adopted by Richards when compared to someone like Paul Cornell or Kate Orman. For all that my talk of his “handsified” status thus far might sound like damning with faint praise, it cannot be denied that he possesses a canny grasp of moving a plot from point A to point B, nudging the narrative along with the surgical application of characters to serve the needs of a given moment.

(Wait, I’m still in that “damning with faint praise” mode, aren’t I?)

Moreover, it’s obvious to even the most casual observer that this discerning view of plotting extends to a pretty intimate familiarity with the most enduring pop cultural touchstones for the broad genre of archaeology-based adventure fiction into which the Bernice Summerfield series neatly slots on its most conventional of days.

(On the other days, you get something like Dead Romance, so good luck trying to figure that one out.)

Richards’ retroactive citation of Raiders of the Lost Ark is hardly surprising, given Indiana Jones’ pretty indisputable status as a titan among fictional archaeologists. It’s not even the first instance of the Benny novels taking some level of inspiration from the whip-toting adventurer, with Oh No It Isn’t! not-so-subtly namedropping Raiders in one of its chapter titles. Anyone who thinks it isn’t liable to happen past this point deserves to be rather publicly and vociferously laughed at.

But equally, there’s one other character who will inevitably prove significant in any attempt to start a series focused around a female British archaeologist in mid-1997. It is ultimately immaterial that Bernice has existed as a character in her own right for almost five years and more than forty novels at this point, because it seems virtually preordained by now that you’re eventually going to have to consider the influence of Lara Croft.

The Sega Saturn version of the first Tomb Raider game was released by Eidos Interactive in Europe on October 25, 1996 – just one day after Damaged Goods and Speed of Flight hit British bookshelves, if like me you’re the type of madman who seriously contemplates keeping track of history by means of Doctor Who books – with a hugely successful PlayStation port soon to follow in November.

In fact, the PlayStation version was so successful that it is frequently credited with having substantially boosted the console’s popularity, and it wasn’t long before a sequel was rushed into production, cementing Croft’s adventures as a fixture of the gaming world. And, y’know, pretty much wearing out the entire development team through a brutal six-to-eight month crunch period, but such are the depressingly prosaic realities of the modern video game industry, I suppose.

The vagaries of publication schedules serve to obfuscate just how much inspiration Richards could have feasibly taken from Tomb Raider, but it’s certainly not impossible that it influenced his thinking somewhere along the line. Whatever the case may be, Dragons’ Wrath would eventually find itself at the nexus of a fleeting hypothetical intersection between the two series.

When Richards wrote to the editorship at Virgin in December 1997 to propose that the company should make overtures towards acquiring the license to print original Tomb Raider novels from Eidos, he also offered a logical corollary by suggesting the development of video games based on Bernice’s adventures, possibly adapting existing novels in the New Adventures range.

One might quite reasonably be tempted to write off his specification of Dragons’ Wrath as a prime candidate for this treatment as a simple case of an author hyping up his own work, but once again we’re forced to contend with the apparent fact that Richards’ aforementioned strong grasp of narrative structure would seem to extend beyond the world of the written word and into that of the printed circuit, which probably shouldn’t be too surprising coming from a man whose pre-Theatre of War day job was writing technical manuals for IBM. Then again, I guess that only serves to further highlight just how dated and strange System Shock‘s whole “information superhighway” spiel really was…

In short, even allowing for the drastically different constraints and expectations faced by video games as compared to prose, the contention that this is a novel which would be well-suited by such an adaptation is broadly supported by the actual text of the book itself.

(Actually, given how seismically amateurish the Big Finish audio drama adaptation of the novel is – trying to cram the entire story onto a single CD and completely omitting Braxiatel in the process – it would be very difficult indeed for such a video game to be a worse adaptation, even if the plot were somehow operating on levels of complexity and incomprehensibility that would make Inland Empire blush…)

It’s all too easy to imagine the plot of Dragons’ Wrath transposed to a game in the same vein as Tomb Raider, containing as it does mysterious billionaire benefactors with hidden agendas, centuries-old secret societies, double-crossing “allies” lurking around every corner, and a stronghold riddled with secret passages in the heart of a volcano which erupts at a suitably climactic moment in the action. Of course, all of these are pretty standard and well-worn elements of the general adventure fiction playbook, and you could just as easily point to most of the items I just mentioned within the Indiana Jones films, say.

In the event, it’s the differences between the two series that prove most enlightening, and ultimately most complimentary, to the New Adventures’ general handling of Bernice as a character.

Certainly, it seems uncontroversial to assert that the presentation of Lara Croft within the Tomb Raider series has always been a bit of a fraught one when viewed through a feminist angle… although having said that I now realise that there’s definitely a very vocal subset of gamers for whom such an assertion will prove quite controversial indeed, but fortunately we never really pay serious attention to them anyway so they can sod off at the end of the day.

While creator Toby Gard might have professed his intention to make the character sexy “only because of her power,” Croft very quickly became one of the earliest examples of a video game character to merit serious consideration as a mainstream sex symbol. Given the stereotypically masculine bent of the gaming world for much of its history, this status comes with all the thorny baggage you might expect.

One of the biggest cultural stirs surrounding the first Tomb Raider game, after all, was the purported existence of a cheat code which would remove Croft’s clothing, all-too-predictably rendered real thanks to the proliferation of a so-called Nude Raider patch for the game. As late as 2018, the casting of Alicia Vikander sparked outrage from gamers across the world for the profound sin of checks notes not having large enough breasts. I think that one speaks for itself really.

More often than not, Croft arguably seemed to exhibit a very superficial form of supposed female empowerment, an empowerment that was nevertheless carefully cloaked in copious amounts of sex appeal so as to limit any potential alienation among heterosexual male members of the audience.

Yes, she certainly deserves credit as a relatively groundbreaking female protagonist in the genre of action games, but the tailoring of her appearance to that male demographic seriously undermines any attempt to argue for her being an unambiguous paragon of feminist empowerment in gaming culture, to say nothing of the way in which the sexually appealing “power” of which Gard spoke so glowingly seemed equally tailored to conventional masculinity’s taste for the violent expression of such power from the barrel of a gun, if you’ll permit me to echo an aphorism credited to Mao Zedong. And, y’know, in the form of a boatload of inherited aristocratic wealth, just to really tick off every box on the power fantasy checklist.

(This is also probably the only time in human history that the creator of Tomb Raider and Mao Zedong will be mentioned in the same breath, but really, what else are you reading Dale’s Ramblings for at this point?)

Given my willingness to credit the New Adventures for extrapolating from the television programme’s treatment of Ace in the final two seasons of the classic run and bringing a heretofore unexplored depth to the role of the female companion – provided you weren’t reading a book by someone like John Peel, I guess; and yes, I’m also obliged to note that it still would have been nice if there were more women on the writing/editing staff at Virgin than Kate Orman and Rebecca Levene, incredible as the pair of them are – it should really come as no surprise that Bernice fares much better in Dragons’ Wrath than was ever true of the Tomb Raider games.

As the book progresses, she’s every bit as engaging, compelling, proficient and intelligent as you’ve come to expect, without ever succumbing to the sort of leering objectification that so frequently dogs the Tomb Raider series. It’s nice to see Richards’ recurring passion for the minutiae of archaeology shine through once more, while never becoming so overpowering as to rob the plot of any incident.

All of this might sound rather simple, and in fairness I have observed in the past that Benny is quite a difficult character to get offensively, jarringly wrong barring some catastrophic ineptitude, but given the fact that this novel is the first of the post-Doctor NAs not to be written by the good Professor’s creator, proving that the series could continue to consistently do right by her character was still a pretty important task, and they just about pull it off.

Speaking of authors writing for their own creations, while we’ve already talked at some length about Braxiatel as a symbol of the New Adventures’ new lease on life, it bears mentioning that he’s also just plain delightful in his own right. I mean, once again, we kind of knew that to start with, but it’s nice to have it reaffirmed all the same.

Even though we’re technically witnessing a Braxiatel who is, by all indications, some fourteen hundred years younger than the version we met in Theatre of War – though as ever, time travel complicates things significantly, and I’m still not entirely sure if we ever get an answer as to whether the character really does sit his way through the entirety of the twenty-sixth through fortieth centuries – he slips back into his old rapport with Benny pretty readily, and even if the character might have simply been brought across to fulfil a narrative function usually allotted to the Doctor, he’s a charming enough addition to the cast that you can’t really begrudge Richards his decision.

Regrettably, not every aspect of the novel can lean on such strong characterisation to hide the seams in the narrative logic, and the overwhelming majority of the guest players can be aptly summarised as “functional.” That’s far from being a worst case scenario, mind you, but it only serves to reinforce the sense that this is a far more standard-issue Richards novel than something like Theatre of War.

While both novels require some pretty heavy-duty exposition as to the significance of their respective MacGuffins so as to ensure the eventual twists actually have an impact, Dragons’ Wrath feels significantly more stilted. The Benny/Braxiatel conversations are predictably a pretty safe bet, but a character like Nicholas Clyde, say, simply lacks the necessary charisma or interest for the audience to realistically see him as anything more than the rather transparent – although marginally more traitorous – Marcus Brody stand-in that he is.

Even among the antagonists, Nusek, Webbe and Mastrov are all perfectly serviceable villains with clear and coherent arcs, but there’s not too much more meat to them beyond that. Perhaps the most interesting member of the guest cast is one Commander Skutloid, an Ice Warrior in all but name with a liking for tea, which is such an inherently delightful idea that it’s easy to see why he continues to pop up in Richards’ later novels like The Medusa Effect and Tears of the Oracle.

In truth, the plot of Dragons’ Wrath plays more interestingly as a collection of off-hand moments that hint at greater depth without necessarily committing wholeheartedly to any one direction above the others. So yes, we’re again in “damning with faint praise” mode, but it must be said that these snatches of interest are certainly more than sufficient to prevent things from becoming overtly tedious.

For starters, while Nusek himself may not exactly set the world on fire, he does at least offer a chance for the Benny novels to take advantage of the fixity of their setting and flesh out the background details of galactic politics, and the results speak rather well to the post-Cold War status quo in which the novels were originally written.

As hinted at earlier, Nusek superficially fulfils the role of the obligatory shady billionaire that reliably crops up in stories like this, but Richards adds significantly more depth to his part in the proceedings by describing him as a “warlord.” This is a very purposeful epithet which could only have been feasibly interpreted in one very specific manner by readers in 1997, evoking as it does all manner of discussions about the rise of warlordism in regions which had been heavily scarred by the legacy of the Soviet Union and the Cold War.

Perhaps the most conspicuous example was to be found in Afghanistan, which had spent the first half of the nineties gripped by a fierce and tumultuous civil war among the local mujahideen warlords following the withdrawal of Soviet support from the government of President Mohammad Najibullah in February 1989.

Shortly after Najibullah’s resignation in April 1992, attempts were made in the Peshawar Accord to proclaim an interim coalition government comprised by members of the various mujahideen factions, to exercise authority over the newly-created Islamic State of Afghanistan. However, infighting among the factions ensured that the nascent government was effectively hamstrung from the very beginning, and the resultant turmoil would directly motivate the foundation of the Taliban by Mohammed Omar and Abdul Ghani Baradar in 1994, pledging itself to the institution of a strict and harsh interpretation of Islamic law and the removal from Afghanistan of the influence of “warlords and criminals.

Certainly, such conflicts were not isolated to Afghanistan by any means – it’s worth noting that Nusek is said to number among the “Gang of Five,” bringing to mind the history of China, a nation with a Warlord Era all of its own – and the term “warlord” was just as frequently applied in coverage of the First Chechen War, say, but this only serves to underscore the sense in which warlordism was a prominent ingredient in the makeup of international relations in the nineties.

Even Nusek’s willingness to employ archaeology in a strictly pragmatic and self-serving manner recalls the extensive damage done to the cultural history of Afghanistan in the early nineties, with Kabul’s National Museum being so frequently subjected to attacks and looting that it is estimated to have lost some 70% of the artifacts on display at the time. Much like the attempts to redress some of the more imperialist undertones of Pyramids of Mars within The Sands of Time, or even Benny’s objections to the Heletians’ plans to blast their way into the Menaxan theatre in Theatre of War, it’s nice to get the sense that Richards’ self-confessed fondness for archaeology extends to an attentiveness to the accompanying cultural and social implications.

And yet it’s not Nusek who’s responsible for the biggest act of archaeological destruction, but rather the Knights of Jeneve, who probably deserve an exploration all their own. While the whims of copyright might prevent the novel from making the identification in any but the most circuitous of terms, it seems pretty clear what is intended to be inferred from the revelation that the order had its roots in a certain “scientific-military organisation.”

Perceptive readers might note that this is the second recent attempt to offer a vision of UNIT’s future, following shortly on the heels of the religious-tinged Unitatas in So Vile a Sin. In five months’ time, Lawrence Miles will take his own crack at the concept by introducing UNISYC in Alien Bodies. As with all instances in which multiple writers hit upon the same idea at almost the exact same time, it behooves us to try and take a look at the underlying reasoning in the hopes of clarifying it somewhat.

Certainly, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to link this pondering of UNIT’s future to a contemporaneous evolution of the real-world United Nations’ role in the post-Cold War realities of the new decade. Spearheaded by Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali, the organisation increasingly shifted its focus towards peacekeeping initiatives, but in spite of early successes in such countries as El Salvador, Namibia, and post-apartheid South Africa, these initiatives would come to be overshadowed by continued friction with the United States government, with the administrations of both George H. W. Bush and Bill Clinton repeatedly proving reticent to commit American troops to such peacekeeping missions.

This, in turn, contributed to a number of high-profile failures for the UN, most notably in Somalia and Rwanda. Even those missions which managed to secure American involvement, such as that formed in response to the breakup of Yugoslavia, were liable to face international derision for their vacillating and conflicted response to widespread acts of ethnic cleansing and genocide.

Indeed, So Vile a Sin, Dragons’ Wrath and Alien Bodies all saw print less than a year after the United States had controversially vetoed Boutros-Ghali’s bid for a second term as Secretary-General, arriving at what would thus seem to be the perfect opportunity for Doctor Who to reflect upon what it meant for one of its most popular and enduring pieces of iconography to be so strongly tied to the United Nations.

(Ironically enough, the solution arrived at – that the two organisations would gradually become less explicitly intertwined – seems to indirectly hint at the new series’ eventual genericisation of UNIT’s acronym as the Unified Intelligence Taskforce, although that was of course driven by objections from the UN themselves.)

The legend of Hugo Gamaliel, on the other hand, seems to represent a decidedly cynical perspective on American mythmaking. Where he’s initially portrayed as a bold and rugged individualist making a break from the encroachment of Earth’s government for valorous reasons, it eventually transpires that his motivations may have been more crassly economic in nature, mapping relatively closely onto one of the popular rebuttals to the grandiose folk narrative of American history that has sprung up since at least the time of the Revolutionary War.

Even though it transpires that the Knights of Jeneve have themselves exaggerated Gamaliel’s unscrupulousness, Reddik contends that there is still some measure of truth to the documentation of the period uncovered by Braxiatel.

The very choice of “Gamaliel” as a name also can’t help but seem pointed, evoking the memory of Warren Gamaliel Harding, an American President whose own popularity at the time of his untimely death was subsequently shaken by a series of posthumous scandals, perhaps most notable of which was the revelation that Secretary of the Interior Albert Bacon Fall had accepted bribes from private oil companies in order to illicitly lease US Navy petroleum reserves in California and Wyoming to them.

It is, admittedly, a rather tenuous connection, but Gamaliel is an uncommon enough name – without just being plain-old made up like, say, Braxiatel – that it feels worth commenting upon. Unless of course Richards really had some pressing things to say about a first-century Jewish Pharisee, but that somehow feels even less likely than the possibility of a link to Harding.

Still, Dragons’ Wrath never seems overtly interested in digging into these issues in earnest, instead using the rough framework of the topics at hand as a springboard to provide big plot twists and even bigger action-adventure thrills. The final product is far from being objectionable, and if it isn’t an out-and-out masterpiece, then that feels excusable for these early stages of the NAs’ Benny-oriented form. And really, when you consider the alternatives, there are far worse ways to start a new novel line.

On an entirely unrelated note, how’s Terrance Dicks getting along over at BBC Books?

Miscellaneous Observations

No, my skipping the release of The Eight Doctors by a couple weeks was not a fluke or a mistake, for what it’s worth. Going forward, in those months where it’s applicable, I’ll stick to the pattern of talking about each month’s New Adventure, followed by the EDA and PDA, even though that does kind of entail jumping about in the release order in most cases. As was the case when discussing So Vile a Sin, I’m going to err on the side of elegance and consistency rather than anything more sensible like the actual chronology of the novels in question.

One thing I do appreciate about Dragons’ Wrath is Richards’ ability to ground the mechanics of his plot twists’ revelations in aspects of the characters involved. He certainly doesn’t manage it every single time, but he does it frequently enough that it bears commenting upon.

I can’t actually decide whether I’m more fond of the way Braxiatel uncovers the Gamalian Gambit as a sham by the simple expedient of assuming that Gamaliel couldn’t possibly have been smarter than him, or Benny’s realisation that the coffee in her lodgings is so difficult to find that “Kamadrich” could only reasonably have known where it was if she had been responsible for the earlier break-in, so I’ll just leave that to the reader to decide.

Speaking of the reveal of Kamadrich as a villain, I’ll also just note that one of the more egregious shortcomings of the Big Finish adaptation has to be the complete squandering of the twist in the very first scene by making no effort to disguise the fact that Mastrov is played by a woman, which wouldn’t be nearly as big a problem if Jane Burke’s Kamadrich wasn’t quite literally the only female member of the guest cast. Kind of says it all, really.

With that being said, I do want to stress that very little blame can reasonably be laid at the feet of Jacqueline Rayner, who by all accounts did the best she possibly could with the profoundly silly “compress this 250-page novel into a single 70-minute compact disc” brief that she was handed. Still, the adaptation of Dragons’ Wrath stands out as the one clear and unambiguous mess from that first season of Benny audio adaptations, with the closest runner-up being… oh, Beyond the Sun, actually, so more on that when we get back to the New Adventures I suppose.

Final Thoughts

It perhaps says a lot that I spent the bulk of my time here talking about Dragons’ Wrath in relation to other things, which is usually a pretty good sign that a story falls somewhere in the realm of comfortable competence. Then again, I suspect that we’re about to enter a period of the Wilderness Years in which that becomes a significantly less reliable litmus test, as the sprawling and behemothic nature of the Eighth Doctor Adventures does make it rather difficult not to adopt that tone by default, even in the absence of comfort or competence.

And… oh, I already did the whole “Boy, I sure do hope The Eight Doctors isn’t a mess” schtick, didn’t I? That’s supremely awkward. Well, join me next time regardless, as I’ll hopefully have become significantly less reiterative by then. Until then, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Virgin Decalog Reviews: Re:Generations, edited by Andy Lane and Justin Richards

We’re approaching the fringes here, people.

Covering the Decalogs was always going to mean squirreling myself into some rather strange and almost-forgotten niches within Doctor Who continuity. That is, if I’m being totally honest, part of the reason why it took me so long to even decide to cover the first two instalments, breaking the normal chronology of my reviews to jump back more than eighteen months from the gap between Lords of the Storm and Just War and talk about an anthology that, by rights, I should have covered immediately after Tragedy Day.

Indeed, nearly thirty years after the release of the first volume in the series, it seems fair to reflect at this juncture that very few Doctor Who fans are likely to remember the Decalogs as a particularly important part of the franchise’s history, even though every collection featured at least one story from a prominent member of Virgin’s established pool of writers. The only story that’s remotely likely to be remembered by those fans with a casual acquaintance with the Wilderness Years is, for obvious reasons, Steven Moffat’s Continuity Errors.

When you compare this to the status of BBC Books’ Short Trips series, which continues in spirit more than twenty-five years later, albeit under the auspices of a completely different company, in a completely different medium, it seems fair to say that there’s something of a disparity here, and that’s honestly a shame.

Not only was the series able to attract some legitimate Wilderness Years talent, and turn out quite a few solid and creative stories in the process, but it was really the first sustained attempt at providing fans with completely original adventures for past Doctors, predating the launch of the Missing Adventures by four months. It is perhaps something of an exaggeration to declare that a company like Big Finish, say, owes the entirety of its early business model to the Decalogs, but the collections certainly laid a lot of important groundwork that later series would build on, be that in the form of novels, short story collections or, yes, audio dramas.

And in retrospect, one is forced to wonder whether the waning cachet of the Decalogs can be almost entirely ascribed to these final two instalments. In terms of novels, we are, of course, still in that strange and fleeting liminal space between the publication of The Dying Days – or So Vile a Sin, if you’re a particularly pedantic stickler for the release order of the novels – and The Eight Doctors, with Virgin having definitively lost their Doctor Who license at this point.

As we saw last time, the New Adventures have attempted to solve this particular problem by pivoting to cover the escapades of Bernice Summerfield, but the consequences for the franchise’s short fiction are considerably stranger. After the publication of Consequences in July 1996, the third and final Decalog to be released before the expiry of Virgin’s mandate for producing new Doctor Who stories, there would be a twenty-month gap before BBC Books’ inaugural Short Trips anthology hit shelves in March 1998, representing the longest such hiatus since the launch of the Decalogs three years ago.

By all accounts, it was also an unplanned hiatus, which is as good a summary as any of the chaos that we’re going to observe in the initial months of the BBC Books line. Preliminary reports in Doctor Who Magazine had suggested that Short Trips was to be released about six months earlier, being slated for publication alongside Paul Leonard’s Genocide and Christopher Bulis’ The Ultimate Treasure in September 1997.

(Eagle-eyed readers might perhaps notice that The Ultimate Treasure‘s release date was similarly buffeted about, eventually swapping places with Gary Russell’s Business Unusual and taking the August slot. Like I said, chaos.)

Although the interior workings of BBC Books from this time are still rather hazy, it seems likely that the collection was delayed by the company making an editorial switchover from the hands of Nuala Buffini – who found herself in the supremely unfortunate position of being arbitrarily lumped with the stewardship of the Doctor Who range despite having very little knowledge about or attachment to the franchise – to those of Stephen Cole, an impression which becomes all but inescapable once you consider Cole’s eventual status as Short Trips‘ editor, to say nothing of his three pseudonymous writing credits within the collection proper.

Virgin thus found themselves with an unexpected grace period, a span of time in which they were the only people putting out anything vaguely resembling Doctor Who short story collections, and Re:Generations is the first of their two attempts to capitalise on this newfound opportunity. Rather than take the more obvious route of, say, building the collection around short, sharp solo adventures for Benny, they instead opt for something a little more interesting, with each of the customary ten stories here exploring the life of a different extended family member of one Adjudicator Roslyn Forrester, across a millennium’s worth of history.

In a way, it’s a gesture that seems to serve as the final apotheosis of the increasing emphasis that the New Adventures put on charting out a credible and internally consistent “Future History” from Love and War onwards, while also making plain the degree to which the role of the companion had been rapidly expanded in the decade since Ace joined the television programme in Dragonfire.

To compare against the last time the franchise was dealing with a four-person TARDIS crew as a matter of course – as Roz’s tenure did, at least before Benny’s wedding in Happy Endings – it seems doubtful that one could have ever envisioned Nyssa, Tegan or Turlough ever being able to withstand the weight of this kind of treatment, interesting characters though they may have each been. Re:Generations is only remotely possible thanks to the work done by novels like The Also People or So Vile a Sin in giving Roz a distinct and readily comprehensible point of view on the universe around her, shaped by her own personal history.

But even with all of that being said, it does mean that we’re just about brushing up against the limits of how far I’m willing to go into the weeds of Wilderness Years literature. We’re not quite at the very edge, mind you. I’ll save that for Wonders, where there’s basically only one story that even remotely ties into the larger Doctor Who universe, and maybe two depending on how kind you’re willing to be towards Stephen Marley.

For now, though, let’s put aside just as much of that “future context” baggage as we would be willing to lose in the confusion of a particularly crowded airport terminal, as we celebrate both the sixtieth anniversary of Doctor Who and the one-hundredth book ever reviewed on Dale’s Ramblings, and I try and see if my writing style can adequately recreate… well, the confusion of a particularly crowded airport terminal, as it happens.

It’s as apt an analogy for the experience of this blog as any, I feel…

1. Second Chances by Alex Stewart

Second Chances starts us off with the sole Doctor Who contribution from writer Alex Stewart, perhaps better known these days to fans of the Warhammer 40,000 series by his pseudonym, Sandy Mitchell, a name under which he wrote the ten-book Ciaphas Cain series from 2003 to 2013, as well as two novels in the Dark Heresy series.

Taking a glance at his page on the Internet Speculative Fiction Database – where I expect I’ll be spending quite a bit of time for the reviews of both this collection and Wonders, given the branching out into writers less directly connected with Doctor Who fan culture – I’d tentatively hazard a guess and say that his most prestigious publication at the time of May 1997 would probably have been Temps, a 1991 anthology that he co-edited with none other than Neil Gaiman.

(Its central premise seems to boil down to “people with superpowers are commonplace and the government forces everyone with such powers to register and be on call to save the country,” which doesn’t sound especially original these days when we’re so inured to superheroes as a concept in the wake of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but I dunno, maybe it was great at the time. I can’t really find anyone discussing this anthology at great length, and I mostly just bring it up to note that one of the collection’s contributors, not so coincidentally, is Liz Holliday, about whom more in about four stories’ time. And also Kim Newman, who we won’t be talking about for a much longer span of time… and relative.)

There would perhaps be a temptation to try and see if there are any inklings of Warhammer-esque stylings at play here, but the fact that I am almost wholly unfamiliar with the franchise certainly does me no favours, so you’re probably looking in the wrong place for that kind of analysis. Nevertheless, it should also be noted that Second Chances seems to be playing in a cyberpunk sandbox that owes much more to the work of William Gibson than it does to Games Workshop.

Obviously, this isn’t the first time the Virgin novels have messed around with cyberpunk. Ben Aaronovitch’s perennially controversial Transit had established the genre as a foundational element of the series’ view of Earth’s Future History, although novels like Warhead and Love and War had already hinted at that particular development even earlier.

In the intervening years, however, cyberpunk had well and truly established itself as a cultural force to be reckoned with. When Jan de Bont’s Speed became a smash hit, Sony Pictures saw fit to capitalise on Keanu Reeves’ newfound status as a cinematic man of action by editing Robert Longo’s adaptation of Gibson’s 1981 short story Johnny Mnemonic into a more conventional action film. Gibson would also pop over to The X-Files less than a year after the publication of Re:Generations, contributing Kill Switch to the programme’s fifth season in February 1998 with the aid of longtime collaborator Tom Maddox, and the duo would return in the seventh season with First Person Shooter.

By the close of the decade, audiences would also be treated to David Cronenberg’s eXistenZ – featuring some English fellow by the name of Christopher Eccleston, but I have no idea who that even is so we’re just gonna breeze past him – alongside Dark City and The Matrix. That list, admittedly, does begin to show the cracks in any attempt to describe the genre as ever finding lasting mainstream success, with The Matrix really being the only credible candidate that could be said to have made a huge splash on release.

Even with most of the other films on the list having achieved some measure of cult classic status among science-fiction devotees in recent years, The Matrix seems forever destined to serve as the cultural touchstone for the 1990s interest in cyberpunk within the minds of the general public.

Still, for all that the box office returns might not have been there, the fact that so many writers and directors hit upon the same idea nigh-simultaneously is usually a pretty good sign that the concepts at hand speak to some deeper discomforts at work in society writ large, and Second Chances slots neatly into that trend.

Indeed, for all that the loss of the Doctor Who license has seemingly forced Virgin to play a bit coy in slotting the events on Pellucidar Station into a given point on humanity’s timeline as established in the New Adventures, the talk of drones and colony ships only just starting to venture beyond Pluto would seem to anchor Second Chances in the general vicinity of Transit, an impression broadly confirmed by Heritage‘s dating of the Mandela‘s departure from Earth to 2059.

And to Stewart’s credit, he provides a story that builds pretty well off that established setting, which is precisely what the first entry in a collection like this should do. As we’ve said, the Decalogs really need to prove themselves capable of pulling from the tapestry crafted by their NA forerunners, and while I doubt I’ll come away from Re:Generations thinking of this as the best story in the collection, I understand why Lane and Richards made the decision to position it as the introduction.

The central conceit is a pretty clever one, with one John Michael Forrester suddenly collapsing on the way home from his maintenance job and seemingly awakening to find himself trapped in the datanet, with everyone he attempts to contact seeming to believe him to be dead. Intrigued by this mystery, he sets out to find the individuals responsible for his death. Think Jerry Zucker’s Ghost if it was written by Raymond Chandler, essentially.

Or at least, a version of Raymond Chandler who knew what the Internet was…

The biggest problem here is something that we should be pretty familiar with, more than thirty stories into the Decalogs as we are. There simply isn’t enough time to get to know this particular Forrester, and the obvious lack of any easily recognisable TARDIS team to latch onto only exacerbates the issue.

This is a twenty-two page story, but John collapses on the sixth page, and from there we spend about nine or ten pages with his investigations before we come to the realisation that we’re actually following the escapades of an artificial intelligence that merely believes itself to be John. From there, he saves his guilt-stricken “murderer” from a suicide attempt and runs off into the sunset… or I guess doesn’t, since he’s travelling in interstellar space, but you get what I mean. We get enough context as to the type of person John is that it’s not a completely wasted exercise, yet it still feels like Stewart could have done with some more breathing room.

With that being said, I do like the way in which all the plausible motives set up in the early scenes of John’s work life are steadily demolished, with the whole thing coming down to a simple mugging gone wrong. It’s a bit ruthlessly functional, sure, and not the most unpredictable of resolutions – and the same can be said of the obvious parallel between John’s lost sister and Madge’s near loss of Cal – but I think it still has the desired effect.

In fact, it’s hard not to detect at least a faint inkling of social commentary in the setup of the mystery here. This is, at its heart, the story of a working-class Black man stuck watching the investigation into his own death from the outside, and the chief investigator proves totally unable to ascertain the truth without a tip from Eddie de Soto, a man written off as an “indigent” and a loan shark by the paycops – a phrase which, incidentally, surely serves as one of the more sinister invocations of a police-industrial complex I’ve ever heard. There’s a sense that the bulk of the paycops, institutionally speaking, embody McLusky’s solemn declaration that “[somebody] has to keep the streets clean,” and refuse to take a much more active interest in the community beyond that mandate.

It’s hard to discuss commentary of that nature within a British science-fiction context without touching upon the murder of Stephen Lawrence, an eighteen-year-old Black man murdered while waiting for a bus in Eltham on April 22, 1993. Although six suspects were arrested in connection with the crime, none were charged, and the Metropolitan Police Service came under heavy criticism from the public, including a memorable Daily Mail headline in February 1997 which accused the suspects of being murderers and directly challenged them to sue the publication for defamation.

Two months after the printing of Re:Generations, newly appointed Home Secretary Jack Straw would order an inquiry into the incident, and the findings contained within the so-called Macpherson Report found the MPS to have been incompetent and institutionally racist in their handling of Lawrence’s murder.

Second Chances never stresses the point too heavily, and most of this is just ambient background noise – though there is some neat symmetry in the story’s namechecking Tower Hamlets, which had, in the same year as Lawrence’s murder, elected Derek Beackon to become the first ever British National Party candidate to sit on a local council – but it does help lend some additional weight to what might otherwise be a humdrum bit of cyberpunk. Far from being a transcendental effort on the part of the Decalogs, but it’s certainly not a bad way to start out the collection by any means.

2. No One Goes to Halfway There by Kate Orman

Looking back, it’s honestly quite astounding just how busy Kate Orman has been throughout 1996 and 1997. The Left-Handed HummingbirdSet Piece and SLEEPY had all been separated from each other by a little over a year, but the latter half of 1996 saw the writer step up the pace of her output considerably.

Not only that, but with the exception of the entertaining diversion that was Return of the Living Dad, most of her assignments in this period tended to be pretty weighty and consequential pieces. The Room With No Doors needed to tie up all this Time’s Champion malarkey and give something approaching a conclusion to Chris’ character arc, while So Vile a Sin required Orman to step in to perform extensive literary surgery upon Ben Aaronovitch’s ailed manuscript.

Even two months from now, Vampire Science will effectively be forced to serve as the “proper” introduction to the Eighth Doctor and Sam Jones, if only because Terrance Dicks had so horrifically botched his own attempt at that task in The Eight Doctors.

No One Goes to Halfway There, then, is an odd duck, perpetually overshadowed by the many, many genuine Orman classics surrounding it. It’s too much to seriously argue that this is some undiscovered gem on par with The Room With No Doors, because it really isn’t. It simply can’t outclass that novel in terms of raw thematic weight, nor can it even feasibly match the sprawling, epic grandeur of So Vile a Sin.

Equally, however, we ought to return to one of the oldest truisms in these Decalog reviews, namely that it’s rather unrealistic to hold short stories and novels to quite the same standards. More to the point, there’s always a certain baseline level of finesse that you can expect from an Orman story, and this one is no exception.

If the overall impression left by Second Chances was that of a broadly functional yet slightly detached exploration of an unabashedly “hard SF” concept, Orman predictably proves herself considerably more adept in her handling of similarly heady concepts. The central threat of No One Goes to Halfway There is, after all, that of an incomprehensible extradimensional being extruding itself into our paltry three-dimensional world and wreaking havoc in its wake, and there’s plenty of talk of accretion discs and black holes and all that good stuff, so if nothing else, you certainly can’t fault the story for thinking small in its science.

This being Orman, though, there’s still a recognition that the human dimension is the most important of all in a story like this. No One Goes to Halfway There is only about six pages longer than Second Chances, and yet the friendship between Theresa and Peta feels far more fully-formed than any of the myriad interpersonal relationships that John was a part of, buoyed considerably by the space afforded to smaller, low-key scenes to actually establish the emotional stakes for these two people who inevitably find themselves caught up in the throes of tragedy.

Even a character like Bob, who is only ever discussed or reminisced about by others, is still charted with enough skill that we get a pretty good sense of what he must have been like before the unfortunate run-in with the extradimensional object that sets the plot into motion, and feel some small yet tangible sense of loss at his passing.

Theresa herself is also interesting as the first Forrester in the collection to definitively live in a time where the family is possessed of considerable wealth and influence. That certainly could have been true of John, but the fact that he was stuck in a rather working-class maintenance profession would tend to suggest otherwise.

Naturally, with her status as a pariah who fled from the family fortune to take on a less prestigious role, Theresa seems destined to invite comparisons to Roz, but the tenor of the glimpses we see of her interactions with the family feels just different enough that it doesn’t feel like a bland retread.

For one, one never got the sense that Roz was having to actively avoid the investigations of her family into her whereabouts as Theresa does here, an impression which will basically be solidified by the time we get to Dependence Day. On the contrary, Leabie and co. seemed reasonably content to allow the latter-day Forrester to pursue a career in Adjudication. It’s only after her disappearance in the wake of Original Sin that the family’s feelers start to be extended throughout the Empire in earnest.

Although the Forrester family doesn’t seem quite as powerful as all that in Theresa’s time – there’s not a Baronial Palace in sight, I tell you! – they still hold enough clout to untangle their wayward daughter’s trail of bribes and obfuscations and track her down to the solace of the Triton pilot school at which she’s taken up residence, rendering them a decidedly sinister force in a way that can’t help but shake some of the audience’s perceptions about the family whose rise we’re charting throughout this collection.

We also get to witness Orman at her most gleefully experimental in her willingness to actively toy with the form and construction of her stories, which has been a recurring feature of her work ever since the phenomenal “stopping the tape” sequence back in the days of The Left-Handed Hummingbird.

Here, there’s a sense that she’s really pulled out all the stops. The story bookends itself with diary entries from Theresa, the first of which starts out in media res before jumping back three weeks. The space flight sequences are delivered in the form of a chat log, while the footage from Bob’s visual log becomes a shooting script. It’s even structured so as to have two cleanly delineated “parts,” and the numerous section titles peppered throughout start indirectly commenting upon the dialogue of the characters at certain points.

Some of this might run the risk of falling under the category of “trying to be too clever,” but Orman has a strong enough grasp of her abilities at this stage that she’s able to make it flow pretty smoothly, and there’s nothing here that manages to be as awkward as the bullet-pointed Ant attack on the Parisian chateau in Set Piece.

(I’ll take “Sentences That You’d Only Hear In Relation To Doctor Who” for $500, thank you very much…)

Another point which one might instinctively balk at is the lack of a precise explanation as to the nature of the probe attacking the colony on Halfway There, but that’s only really a problem if you have an absolute zero-tolerance policy towards any sort of intentional ambiguity in your fiction. Indeed, it would perhaps be more accurate to say that we are provided with multiple competing answers to the question, which is in many ways the more interesting option anyway.

If you were to force me to put my money where my mouth is and give my opinion as to the “correct” explanation, I would probably say that I side with the notion of it being some kind of incomprehensible alien artist. Even aside from its twisting every object it comes into contact with into strange and abstract shapes, there seems to be the suggestion that its presence induces some measure of violence upon the very fabric of the story in which it’s housed.

Theresa notes that, besides Peta, the bedraggled survivors of Halfway There with whom she falls in seem to have had their personhood erased in some fashion. The collapsing debris from the colony’s central complex is said to fall into a “discontinuity,” a rather choice selection of wording that should make the ears of any self-respecting modern science-fiction fan prick up.

But perhaps the most revealing change wrought by the strange being seems to be an alteration of the characters’ ability to utter profanities, with the radio logs’ judicious use of “[expletive deleted]” giving way to no less than two uses of the word “fuck” in the back half of the story. For Virgin, this shift carries a deep symbolism, given how seismic the initial controversy over Transit‘s whole-hearted embrace of cursing and sexuality was.

There’s certainly something delightfully cheeky in the decision to so readily return to the reckless abandon with which those early NAs treated the topic, but it also serves, in a roundabout way, to reaffirm Re:Generations‘ status as a fringe bystander on the very edge of the Wilderness Years fracas.

After all, Virgin only really gets to enjoy this kind of freedom by dint of their no longer having to serve as the public face of new Doctor Who, and there’s a sense in which BBC Books’ reclamation of the franchise’s prose license has visited an incomprehensible artistic violence all of its own upon the identity of the NAs and Decalogs. They can act out and use all sorts of foul language, but the simple fact of the matter is that nobody is liable to take much notice anymore.

After nearly six years, no one goes to the New Adventures.

3. Shopping for Eternity by Gus Smith

Given Gus Smith’s status as a one-time contributor to the world of Doctor Who, I was initially hoping to give him the same treatment as Alex Stewart. Unfortunately, his entry on the ISFDB is stunningly bare, with Shopping for Eternity being one of a mere six short story credits that he has to his name, alongside a full-length dark fantasy novel from 2001 set in Newcastle entitled Feather and Bone, whose Goodreads blurb promises an exploration of “child abuse, poverty, homosexuality, retirement, and paparazzi.”

Oh and also, one of the aforementioned six short stories bears the glorious title of The Incorporeal Crapshooters from the Ghost Planet Kring. That’s all I have to say about that, really. Other than, y’know, I’d really like to read it.

So, with all of that out of the way, I guess we really have no choice but to talk about Shopping for Eternity. Thankfully, that’s no great loss, as this was probably my favourite story thus far, and a pretty solid contender for one of my favourites across the entirety of the Decalog series.

Admittedly, if you strip it back to the basics of its plotting, it doesn’t exactly seem like it’s up to much. It’s a pretty simple story about another Forrester – Jon, this time, a name which is unfortunately close to John from Second Chances, and which is the type of mildly confusing thing you’d have hoped Lane and Richards might have caught somewhere along the line – finding himself embroiled in a web of corporate intrigue, with the slightest tinge of a religious-inflected space Western about the whole thing.

Somewhere along the line, however, Shopping for Eternity manages to become far more than the sum of its parts, and offers up a bitingly cynical exploration of 1990s corporate America, the rise of the religious right, and the media manipulation that bridges the gap between the two.

Particularly attentive readers will, in all likelihood, recall that we’ve made quite a big deal of late about the degree to which we are presently situated in the superficial peak of the so-called Third Way, with Tony Blair’s newly-elected Labour government still having spent only two weeks basking in the golden afterglow of their landslide victory, bringing to a close eighteen consecutive years of Conservative Party dominance. Clinton, too, is pretty comfortably positioned to ride out his second term, provided we don’t end up with a particularly sordid Oval Office sex scandal on our hands.

But this narrative is, by necessity, incomplete. Obviously, one can’t talk about the character of the strange unipolar moment that was the 1990s without eventually gravitating towards figures like Clinton and Blair, and they certainly make up a substantive portion of the era’s history, yet if you want to talk about the long-term impact of the decade upon the global political culture, you also simply can’t avoid talking about the religious right.

Like any good nebulously-defined sociopolitical trend, it should be stressed that the religious right didn’t spontaneously pop into existence one not-so-fine day in the mid-1990s. Rather, the decade’s more visible manifestations served as a boiling over of pre-existing tensions. Most commonly, this is dated to the mid-1970s, and to Gerald Ford’s pursuit of the Catholic vote in the wake of the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision, although there are certainly shades of religiosity to be found in the Southern strategy employed by Barry Goldwater and Richard Nixon in the 1960s.

Still, there had been a pronounced skewing towards Christian voters at play within the Republican Party, a trend which only grew more evident throughout the 1980s and into the 1990s. Southern Baptist minister Pat Robertson of the Christian Broadcasting Network served on a number of task forces and committees throughout the Reagan presidency, and although the preacher would lose his bid for the Republican presidential nomination to Vice President George H. W. Bush in 1988, his campaign is generally credited with being a watershed moment in the religious right’s realisation that they could feasibly mobilise themselves given enough media savvy and know-how.

Untangling the facets of the conservative media machine that sprung up in Robertson’s wake could undoubtedly fill thousands of words in its own right, but suffice it to say that it is this ability to weaponise a rapidly-evolving media landscape which arguably proved the most insidious legacy of 1990s conservatism. For vindication of this, one need only look at how many pillars of the modern right-wing misinformation machine got their starts in the decade.

Rush Limbaugh may have achieved national syndication in 1988, but he hit The New York Times Best Seller List with the publication of his first two books in 1992 and 1993. Fox News started broadcasting to an audience of seventeen million cable-viewers in October 1996, while the Drudge Report – soon to be pivotal in the breaking of the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, and hiring one Andrew Breitbart for good measure – had begun its life as an email-based gossip column a year earlier. Alex Jones’ InfoWars would eventually go online in March 1999.

All of this, as you might have surmised by now, leans rather heavily on an American perspective of the 1990s, rather than the more obvious British lens which more frequently presents itself when talking about Doctor Who, but in fairness much the same is true of Shopping for Eternity itself.

It’s pretty clear that Smith has drawn from a religious iconography more specific to the United States in his crafting of New Zion. The very name of the planet evokes the Christian Zionist eschatology that was gathering steam among evangelicals at the time, while Jon’s ill-fated son et lumière performance at the theatre in Rehoboth seems consciously modelled upon televangelist megachurches in the grand Joel Osteen tradition. Osteen-tation, if you will. The people of Ebenezer, on the other hand, recall distinctly American religious subcultures like the Amish and the Mormons, or even more contemporary and straightforwardly cultish examples like David Koresh’s Branch Davidians.

Through all of this, the twin spectres of the Pabulum Corporation and its attendant consumerism haunt our wayward Forrester at every turn, and it’s definitely quite compelling to watch. Much like the eschatological and religious fears running through Shopping for Eternity, there’s a sense that Pabulum is grounded firmly in the 1990s.

We’re told by the trusty Tranlis Difarallio that the story unfolds in the wake of the conflict between humanity and the Daleks – sorry, “ruthless, implacable alien foes”- with the corporations spreading their influence throughout the resulting power vacuums that sprung up across the disadvantaged and forgotten colonies at the fringes of human space. It is, in short, a pretty close match for the kind of economic globalisation that went into full swing in the final years of the twentieth century, insofar as terms like “global” can really apply to interstellar distances.

Even the corporation’s methodology seems to owe more to a sort of sinister capitalist logic than it does to open belligerence, as we’re informed that the company typically likes to allow particularly pioneering individuals to do the hard work of settling and terraforming a new world, only to swoop in and reap the long-term benefits of that labour. The scale of their Machiavellian manipulations here runs the risk of seeming contrived, turning every part of New Zion society encountered by Jon into a means of entrapping him into the role of unwitting Messiah, but it’s a testament to Smith that he absolutely sells the operatic tone of the piece to the point where I, at least, completely bought it.

Indeed, if this story were released a few years later, one might almost suspect Pabulum of being a thinly-veiled commentary on the kinds of megacorporations that were increasingly coming to dominate life in the Western world, but since we’re still in the earliest days of companies like Amazon, and we haven’t even so much as seen the foundation of other major players like Google or Netflix, that seems like a bit of a stretch.

The closest parallel you could probably draw would be to Microsoft, whose bundling of Internet Explorer with Windows 95 was coming under increasing scrutiny, culminating in a motion from the Justice Department ordering the cessation of the practice in October 1997, and eventually to the company’s being labelled an “abusive monopoly” in United States v. Microsoft Corp. in 2001.

Still, all of this just speaks to how well Shopping for Eternity has aged in the intervening quarter of a century. Not only that, but there’s a charming satirical edge to many of Jon Forrester’s interactions, which helps the story breeze by, ratcheting along to a showstopping conclusion in the most literal of senses. Plus, it features an all-too-tantalisingly brief appearance by The Incorporeal Crapshooters from the Ghost Planet Kring.

That alone makes it worthy of commendation.

4. Heritage by Ben Jeapes

Heritage marks the second occasion on which we’ve run into Ben Jeapes, following Timevault in the previous collection. It’s also the last such occasion, as he never again contributes to Doctor Who past this point.

Broadly speaking, Timevault was a perfectly serviceable little story which was dealt an astronomically bad hand by being positioned right after Steven Moffat’s legitimately brilliant Continuity Errors. Personally, I found its biggest fault to be the inability to adequately commit to either of its two big ideas, starting out as a pandemic thriller with a race against the viral clock, before suddenly and inelegantly throwing in the return of a long-dead species out to get vengeance upon the Time Lords.

Still, having too many ideas is at least a novel problem for a Decalog story to be plagued with, and Jeapes had a solid enough grasp on the characterisation of the Doctor and K-9 that I still found myself interested in seeing how his sophomore effort would shape up. Having just finished Heritage, however, I find myself more conflicted and confused than ever.

On the one hand, yes, Jeapes has wisely pulled back the scope of his ambitions so that the premise can be adequately and succinctly summarised with a minimum of hassle and without sounding like two completely separate premises disjunctively glued together. What’s more, the premise is actually one of the more creative applications of the collection’s core structure, centring on the discovery of John Michael Forrester’s long-lost sister Billy on board the sleeper ship Mandela some three-hundred years after the events of Second Chances.

Intellectually speaking, all the pieces are there for a story that I might really enjoy. The stage is set for some kind of exploration of the mutable and shifting nature of family history, perhaps personified by the twisting of the Forresters’ origins in the Nelson Mandela housing estate in Tower Hamlets into a direct familial connection to the man himself. By rights, we should be looking at another grand, operatic tragedy, but for whatever reason, it never quite materialises.

One of the biggest hurdles doesn’t even come from the text of the story itself, but instead from the standard Difarallio prelude that sets the scene. Jeapes has very clearly structured Heritage so as to preserve the twist of Chandos’ not actually being a member of Earth’s official naval forces.

In fact, for the particularly genre fiction-obsessed members of the audience, the deception is carried a step further, with the basic idea of a “modern” starship’s crew awakening a group of cryogenically-frozen colonists from centuries in the past bearing a striking resemblance to the first season finale of Star Trek: The Next GenerationThe Neutral Zone. Actually, to be fair, I was gonna let Jeapes off the hook a little here and not even mention it, but he did rather force my hand by explicitly identifying the present year as 2364, i.e. the exact same year given by Data in the corresponding TNG episode.

(In a similar vein, New Canaan is so consistently referred to as a “Codominium” that I can only assume it isn’t a misspelling of “Condominium,” but rather a conscious nod to Jerry Pournelle’s CoDominium series of novels. I mean, it could just be a misspelling, but I do like to give writers the benefit of the doubt and presume some level of intentionality behind everything they put in their works.)

As the story wears on, however, what initially seems like another in a long line of uninspired Star Trek homages in 1990s Doctor Who becomes something far shrewder, utilising the audience’s own potential familiarity with what the story initially appears to be in order to deceive them into believing Chandos to be a different sort of character than he is.

Or at least, that’s the theory. For some unfathomable reason, though, Lane and Richards – who I’m assuming are the writers of the Difarallio paragraphs – saw fit, in listing the kinds of occupations held by the Forresters in this brave new world of the 2360s, to float the possibility of members of the family serving as “opportunistic raiders and pirates.” As such, the degree to which the revelation that Chandos is, in fact, an opportunistic raider and a pirate can actually be considered a “surprise” is severely compromised from the jump.

Then again, I’ve never really been one to nitpick or complain about twists being “spoiled,” and I’ll admit that I’m being atypically granular in my reasoning here. In fact, I’d probably be willing to write it all off as a minor hiccup if Chandos actually made for a remotely interesting villain, but, as you might have guessed, he doesn’t. “Why?” Billy implores her wayward descendant after he enacts a particularly cold-blooded bit of murder towards the story’s climax. “Because,” is his eloquent and well-considered response.

Truly Shakespearean, I tell you.

It’s not that all your villains necessarily have to have especially fleshed-out or fully-formed reasons for their despicable acts, nor do you even have to make them overtly sympathetic, but if you’re going to try and sell me on the ostensible “tragedy” of their fate, then it probably couldn’t hurt. At the very least, you’re going to need to give me some reason to care about someone who’s willing to wipe out an entire colony and a sleeper ship to preserve their piracy racket, or else the sum total of my emotional engagement with the story will probably be a non-committal “Eh, serves him right.”

That’s the problem at the heart of Heritage, really. It wants to be grand and epic and soaring, but for all its basic competence at telling a story – and, unlike Timevault, at understanding which stories it wants to tell to begin with – it never quite manages to land its punches.

(Also, the casual inclusion of an attempted rape of Billy is already a cynical enough ploy to hit the audience’s “Ooh this is edgy and uncomfortable” buttons as is, but it’s made infinitely worse by the decision to have Chandos rescue her and, by extension, preserve his image as a “good guy” in the audience’s view a little longer. It’s a rather crass, careless and narratively utilitarian handling of such a delicate issue, but then that’s Heritage in a nutshell, isn’t it?)

5. Burning Bright by Liz Holliday

Liz Holliday presents us with yet another one-and-done writer to mull over in regards to Re:Generations, although thankfully the arc of her general career is easier to quantify than that of someone like Gus Smith. A quick consultation of the ISFDB, alongside skimming an archived About the Author blurb from an old science-fiction magazine from 2007 – which I definitely didn’t find by employing such gauchely prosaic methods as looking at the Reference list for Holliday’s page on Wikipedia, mind you – reveals her to have been a pretty prolific contributor to the worlds of British speculative fiction, eventually serving as editor for such science fiction publications as Odyssey and Ben Jeapes’ own 3SF.

(I’m assuming the former is completely unrelated to a similarly-named South African magazine devoted to holistic and New Age ways of living, but at this point I’m not ruling anything out, alright?)

Also, she was apparently featured in the Guinness Book of World Records for having held a marathon 84-hour session of Dungeons & Dragons, which is, I would wager, something that very few other Doctor Who-adjacent writers can honestly say.

In terms of her being afforded the chance by Virgin to contribute to this collection, however, the most obvious intersection with the company’s past output is definitely her contribution of three novelisations of episodes from Jimmy McGovern’s hit crime drama series Cracker – and again, that Christopher Eccleston guy pops up, will he ever go away? – being one of only two authors to have adapted a script from all three seasons of the programme; the other, if you’re keeping score at home, is Jim Mortimore.

Certainly there are visible strains of Holliday’s time spent among the weeds of crime drama television to be found in Burning Bright, although the more blatantly procedural elements are mostly confined to the very beginning, before the bottom drops out from under that style of storytelling and Impsec, a nascent form of the Adjudicators who obviously occupy a pretty important place in any history of the Forresters thanks to Roz, is revealed to be a thoroughly corrupt institution beholden to corporate interests.

This shouldn’t exactly be surprising to anyone who has paid attention to the Adjudicators as they’ve been built up throughout the New Adventures, including in Roz’s own introductory novel, Original Sin, nor is it a great break from the organisation’s obvious textual forerunners, namely the Judges from Judge Dredd. Hell, if we take Second Chances into account, this isn’t even the first time issues of police corruption have formed the thematic backbone of a story in Re:Generations. But there’s a slight shift in focus here which proves revealing, as Burning Bright chooses to introduce us to the brutality of Impsec in the context of a heated riot.

Of course, this isn’t necessarily a framing which necessitates we discard our earlier discussion of race relations in the United Kingdom entirely. Certainly, you don’t end up with a country with such stark racial divisions without riots cropping up, and the 1990s saw these tensions repeatedly come to a head. In October 1993, thousands of demonstrators gathered on Winn’s Common to protest against the BNP’s opening up a headquarters in a bookshop in South East London, and the escalating violence – spurred on by the police’s liberal use of truncheons and horseback charges – ultimately left 74 people injured.

In the aftermath, Stephen Lawrence’s friend Duwayne Brooks, who had been with him at the time of his death, was among those charged by the Metropolitan Police for their involvement in the riots, although it later emerged that these charges were part of an attempt by the Special Demonstration Squad to discredit the organisers of the campaign demanding justice for Lawrence’s murder. The charges would later be dropped, and Brooks was awarded £100,000 compensation in 2006. Similar riots broke out in Brixton and Bradford in 1995, the latter of which has largely been overshadowed in subsequent years by the more extensive rioting witnessed by the city in 2001.

Still, there’s something to the heavy focus Burning Bright affords the role of media coverage in the inflammation of these tensions which can’t help but bring to mind the Los Angeles riots of 1992, and the lingering after-effects that would be felt in the years to come, perhaps most infamously in the media circus that the O. J. Simpson trial wound up becoming… which I actually talked about when discussing Guy Clapperton’s Tarnished Image last time, so, hooray for the rhyming of history, I guess.

Holliday seems to demonstrate a certain canny awareness of the way news coverage can significantly slant public opinion, and while it would be frankly laughable to suggest that the country which serves as one of the staunchest bastions of the Murdoch press doesn’t have its issues with horribly skewed reporting, the frenzy that gripped reporters in 1990s Los Angeles still seemed to operate on a whole other level. After all, it’s hard not to read the introduction of Kenzie, attempting to record the violent excesses of Impsec, without being put in mind of the infamous videotape of Rodney King’s brutal beating at the hands of the Los Angeles Police Department.

(Appropriately enough, a scan of my past writing reveals that the two previous occasions on which I’ve referenced King’s case were in my reviews of Tarnished Image and Original Sin, which goes a long way towards making my point, I feel…)

If there’s one big flaw to Burning Bright, it’s that these ideas of police brutality are quickly mixed with a whole bunch of unrelated 1990s concerns, which certainly makes for a thematically dense read, but prevents Holliday from ever making too substantive a statement on any one topic. Moreover, even the very presentation of the story’s ideas feels cobbled together from some kind of “New Adventures/Decalogs Greatest Hits” compilation, even to the point of reiterating ideas from elsewhere within this very same collection.

We’ve touched on the basic fears of police corruption and brutality that motivated Second Chances, but we’ve also got a bit of the Christian eschatology from Shopping for Eternity mixed in, alongside the basic premise of “There’s something weird going on with the colony’s communications satellite(s)” that we saw in No One Goes to Halfway There. Plus, after Damaged Goods, you do rather get the feeling that Virgin would have been well-advised to stay away from “drugs that mess with people’s latent psychic powers,” since it’s highly unlikely that anyone can offer a better spin on that topic than Russell T. Davies. Predictably, nobody did.

Nevertheless, this isn’t a bad story by any means, and it certainly doesn’t approach the kind of mediocrity we just witnessed in Heritage. Despite handily being the collection’s longest story, at a whopping thirty-seven pages, Holliday is shrewd enough to keep the plot moving at a steady pace. Similarly, while I’m not quite sold on Anjak and Kenzie’s relationship as being the deepest romance in the universe, the development of their grudging admiration for one another is charming enough that the ending does pack the appropriate punch, even if “And then this member of the Forrester family died horribly” is becoming something of a predictable beat for the collection at this point.

So yeah, I think the final judgment on Burning Bright is “interesting but imperfect,” and I’ve certainly read far worse stories over the course of the Decalogs. I do wish Holliday had gotten the chance to write more stories, but as is I suppose we’ll just have to chalk her up as another in the long line of writers to slip through the Decalogs’ cracks, unfortunately.

6. C9H13NO3 by Peter Anghelides

Alright, let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. There’s no way in hell I’m going to type out that title every single time I want to refer back to the story, so instead we’re going to simplify things considerably and just call it Adrenaline, which the original title basically translates to anyway. If you’ve got a problem, write to your Senator about it.

Moving along to consider the author themselves, we’re back on reasonably solid ground for perhaps only the second time since No One Goes to Halfway There, with Peter Anghelides representing the rare instance of a writer who made their debut in the Decalogs before going on to become a decently prolific member of the Wilderness Years stable in the novel lines proper.

Ultimately, the number of examples I can think of that fit that pattern is vanishingly small, particularly when placed against the overwhelming number of writers who quietly slipped out of sight after contributing one or two stories. Mike Tucker and Robert Perry would go on to serve as BBC Books’ go-to guys for contributing Seventh Doctor stories that actively pushed against all that New Adventures stuff that had proved so controversial, but Tucker had already been associated with the television programme as a visual effects assistant in the McCoy years, so it feels like a bit of a cheat to list him here.

Ditto Colin Brake, whose debut full-length novel, Escape Velocity, came nearly five years after the publication of Aliens and Predators. So really, that just leaves you with… Matthew Jones, I guess, and he’s only two months away from releasing his second and final New Adventure, and just a year out from finding far greater success as script editor of Queer as Folk.

(NB: Steven Moffat is Steven Moffat, and should always be placed in his own category.)

Of course, it seems unlikely that most people will rate Anghelides as one of the true literary titans of the Doctor Who canon when all is said and done. If we cast our gaze further ahead, we’ll find that while Frontier Worlds might land in the top thirty Eighth Doctor Adventures in the almighty Sullivan rankings, Kursaal and The Ancestor Cell both hover around the general vicinity of fiftieth to sixtieth place, with the former being a rather unassuming and traditionalist little werewolf story that’s perhaps undone by the sense in which it jars terribly with Alien Bodies, and the latter… well, the latter actually manages to jar terribly with Alien Bodies in a completely different way, so chalk one up for innovation, I guess.

(To be fair, the presence of a co-writing credit for outgoing editor Stephen Cole – the man who got the EDAs into the whole “War in Heaven” mess to begin with – at least hints that we might want to spare Anghelides somewhat in our apportioning of the blame.)

None of that can really shape my opinion too much for the purposes of this review, however, since the only Anghelides story I’ve covered so far was his contribution to the previous Decalog, Moving On. Although seemingly controversial among certain sections of fandom on its initial release, the passage of time worked in its favour, allowing it to stand as a pretty moving pseudo-epilogue for the adventures of Sarah Jane Smith and K-9, while fitting surprisingly well with the new lease on life afforded the duo in their post-School Reunion phase.

Suffice it to say, then, that Adrenaline was probably the only story in the collection that I had particularly high expectations for to start with, if one discounts those authors whom I was already familiar with from their novel-length works. That’s a pretty big qualifier, but I think it communicates the general point.

Thankfully, Anghelides ends up surpassing those expectations and then some, delivering a story which I might even like a little bit better than Moving On. It’s certainly one of the standouts of Re:Generations, and is in close competition with Shopping for Eternity for the title of my favourite story in the collection.

On the surface, one might expect me to take Adrenaline to task for the same things I lambasted Heritage for. Once again, Tranlis Difarallio drops some rather crucial information that initially seems to heavily spoil the surprise of the way in which the Forresters are involved, referring to one “John Forrester” as a crucial figure long before anyone in the story even mentions his name.

Indeed, since all the other characters refer to the story’s protagonist as “Samuels,” one assumes that Anghelides has set up a blindingly obvious mystery in which Samuels will actually be revealed to be John Forrester, buoyed by the cynical conceit of adopting a second-person narrative voice – a rarity in Doctor Who fiction to this point – and that Lane and Richards have once again gotten too far ahead of themselves and slipped in spoilers which they shouldn’t have.

Where Heritage built to an underwhelming twist and promptly found itself with no idea of what to do with Chandos beyond turning him into a generic villain wearing the blackest of hats, though, Adrenaline actually manages to weaponise the audience’s presumed foreknowledge against them, with pretty stunning results.

By the time Samuels and Bocx have broken into the Forrester Industries facility, with the former arriving at a convenient computer terminal, the stage seems set for a bog-standard reveal that our protagonist has actually been the villain the whole time. And, fair play, they pretty much do, as “Samuels” looks at a photo that matches his appearance, captioned “John Forrester.” Cue the closing credits sting… or don’t, I’m not sure if we can clear the copyright under these circumstances.

Questions start going off in your mind, however, once Bocx proclaims his desire to find and kill Forrester. After all, if he was so hell bent on revenge, you’d think that he’d recognise the guy. Deviously enough, it turns out that we’ve not only been reading the adventures of a synthetic facsimile of Forrester who’s been deliberately filled with Samuels’ memories by Bocx, but that these adventures have been vicariously experienced by the real Forrester, rendered bedridden by the same chemical fire started by Bocx, in an effort to enable his body to experience the exhilaration of the adventure’s associated adrenaline.

There’s perhaps an argument to be made that Anghelides is simply wrapping up two of the oldest and most cliché twist endings in a flashy and moderately experimental package, but there are a few reasons why this critique doesn’t really land with me personally. For starters, Adrenaline is shrewd enough to always give the audience just enough information that they can start attempting to put all the pieces together, while dangling the most crucial pieces just out of reach to prevent the game from being given away too early.

This might sound like I’m accusing the story of being nothing more than a crass and dishonest shell game, but nothing could be further from the truth. As any 1990s Star Trek writer would quite readily tell you, it’s actually supremely difficult to construct a gripping mystery in a science-fiction setting that feels like it’s “playing fair” with the audience, unbeholden as such worlds are to the laws of conventional physics, so the fact that Adrenaline just about manages it is certainly no small feat.

More broadly, though, Adrenaline is a story fundamentally concerned with the commodification and commercialisation of human beings, particularly within the bounds of the prison system. Of course, as with the exploration of racial tensions elsewhere in Re:Generations, there’s a much deeper resonance to these fears when applied to a Black protagonist like John Forrester, because… well, that kind of commodification is all too real, historically speaking.

The enshrinement of slavery as a foundational element of the United States naturally provides the most salient example here, but it’s hardly controversial to observe that the legacy of that heinous institution remains alive and well in the nation’s penal system, what with the Thirteenth Amendment being the way it is.

(I mean, if that is a controversial statement for you, then you’re probably on the wrong blog…)

The popular culture of the mid-1990s seemed particularly fascinated by issues of the prison system, especially with regards to death row inmates. Chris Carter wrote and directed The List for the third season of The X-Files in October 1995, telling a tale of supernatural revenge amidst a Floridian death row prison pretty obviously inspired by the Louisiana State Penitentiary, colloquially known as “Angola.”

Stephen King serialised his hit novel The Green Mile over six months in 1996, with the book eventually receiving a successful 1999 film adaptation starring Michael Clarke Duncan and Tom Hanks. That same year, Susan Sarandon won Best Actress at the Academy Awards in March for her performance in Tim Robbins’ Dead Man Walking, while October saw the release of The Chamber, effectively becoming the Johnny Mnemonic of this particular trend by debuting to an underwhelming-at-best critical and commercial response.

Admittedly, there’s never any mention made in Adrenaline of the possibility of capital punishment, and the impression given is that the horrors of the Callisto Penitentiary “only” really extend to unethical human experimentation, but even this has enough in the way of a real-world historical grounding that I feel comfortable identifying the story as a part of this broader literature.

We already kind of touched upon the American government’s flagrant abuses of medical ethics in the general sense last time when discussing Timevault, and a full accounting of the many instances in which these abuses have occurred in prison environments would probably be too depressing and lengthy a task to dive into here, but it’s worth noting in passing that Adrenaline saw print just one year before Allen M. Hornblum’s Acres of Skin, detailing the experiments conducted over a period of more than twenty years by dermatologist Albert Kligman at Pennsylvania’s Holmesburg Prison. The title of that book, incidentally, comes from Kligman’s reaction to seeing the Holmesburg inmates for the first time:

All I saw before me were acres of skin… It was like a farmer seeing a fertile field for the first time.

So, y’know. Plenty of commodification there, I think.

It’s also worth noting that a lot of this ties heavily into the general soul-searching mood of 1990s American popular culture, and especially the ongoing recontextualisation of the Second World War. The kind of experimentation evoked by both Adrenaline and Acres of Skin strikes uncomfortably close to that more traditionally associated with infamous Nazi physicians like Joseph Mengele, slotting neatly alongside the recurring preoccupation that many of the New Adventures of the first half of 1996 exhibited with the legacy of Nazism and the Holocaust, just in time for the fiftieth anniversary of the Second World War’s ending.

Even the reveal that the faux-Samuels’ memories have been repeated and watered down to an adrenaline factory for the withered husk that once was John Forrester plays into this sense of capitalist monstrosity, a strikingly literal form of commercialisation that affects the very narrative voice of the short story itself.

Adrenaline is another success, both for Peter Anghelides and for the increasingly impressive Re:Generations. It’s timely, clever, and possessed of an uncommon viscerality and immediacy by virtue of its second-person narration. The only real downside I can think of is that, between John Michael Forrester in Second Chances and Jon Forrester in Shopping for Eternity, greater editorial care might have been taken to avoid such puzzling nominal recurrence as happens here with our third John of the collection.

It might be realistic for a family tree spanning a good few centuries to have a few members with the same name, but it doesn’t make it any easier to write about. Still, that’s such a minor thing, and not really even the fault of Anghelides’ story at all, so I think we’ll let him off the hook.

7. Approximate Time of Death by Richard Salter

Richard Salter is the last of the four first-time Doctor Who authors to grace the pages of Re:Generations. Indeed, as far as I can tell from a brief perusal of the Internet, Approximate Time of Death seems to be his first substantial writing credit of any kind.

Unlike Stewart, Smith and Holliday, however, Salter would actually go on to be reasonably prolific in the world of Doctor Who-related short stories, becoming a frequent contributor to the Short Trips series under Big Finish’s stewardship of the title, to the point of eventually editing the Transmissions anthology in 2008, and even penning a story for the Bernice Summerfield range for good measure.

All of these stories are, of course, beyond the purview of what I’m intending to cover as a part of Dale’s Ramblings, so Approximate Time of Death represents my one and only chance to form an impression of Richard Salter. In virtually all respects, this is profoundly unfortunate, since it’s pretty handily the collection’s weakest instalment by some considerable distance.

If Heritage could at least lay claim to an interesting premise that was squandered by some poor choices on the part of Ben Jeapes, Approximate Time of Death starts much as it means to go on, setting itself up as a pretty standard-issue murder mystery involving the death of prominent industrialist Mark Forrester.

To be entirely fair, Salter manages to create some small degree of interest by injecting the added quirk of Forrester’s bodyguard managing to “predict” his death ahead of time, but any momentum which this affords the narrative is well and truly spent once the story spends eighteen of its thirty pages to actually get to the murder in question.

Even this would be forgivable if the buildup to the murder was especially interesting. In actual fact, what we’re treated to is mostly just eighteen pages of ruthless, brutal exposition in an effort to set up all the moving pieces and get to the twist in the tale as soon as possible, with character development that can most charitably be described as functional.

It’s clunky and inelegant in a way that even Heritage largely managed to avoid being, and the only mystery I was particularly invested in was my own internal quest to figure out why the name of the lead Adjudicator handling the case, Rachel Carson, sounded so familiar, before I realised that Salter seems to have simply named the character after the author of the seminal environmentalist text, Silent Spring, for no easily discernible reason. So that’s something, I guess.

(Then again, if David A. McIntee can name all the Adjudicators in The Dark Path after semi-famous British stunt performers, I suppose anything’s fair game…)

All of which brings us to the eventual twist, which is that Forrester has actually been dead for quite some time, with all the scenes narrated from his point of view actually taking place a year before those featuring Rachel’s investigations. Now, sure, I’ll concede that this probably isn’t a substantially more contrived resolution than the twist for which I praised Adrenaline, but the crucial difference there is that Anghelides actually managed to hold my attention, even in spite of that story’s being ever so slightly longer.

It also doesn’t help that, prose-wise, Approximate Time of Death really betrays its origins as the work of a first-time writer, with awkward and ill-constructed sentences aplenty. Add to that a wholly unselfconscious use of a clichéd “The villain confesses to their crimes while on camera” resolution, and you’re left with a bit of a mess, all told.

It’s hard for me to imagine that the last three stories of this collection will manage to get much worse than this, which is, in a way, reassuring, but it’s equally difficult for me to come up with too much to say about Approximate Time of Death. It’s not even bad in an offensive or interesting way, with its most profound sin being one of all-consuming tedium, but as we’ve observed many a time over the past one hundred reviews, that might actually be one of the worst possible outcomes.

8. Secret of the Black Planet by Lance Parkin

Much like Kate Orman, Lance Parkin has had a busy eighteen months or so in the lead-up to Re:Generations. After making quite the splash on impact with his critically acclaimed debut novel Just War, he went on to willingly shoulder the frankly insane task of assembling every Doctor Who story in existence into a single coherent timeline in A History of the Universe some four months later.

Since then, the man’s commitment to the vaunted “nightmare brief” has shown no signs of stopping, turning out the first and only multi-Doctor Missing Adventure and wrapping up the Doctor-led New Adventures with Cold Fusion and The Dying Days, respectively. Perhaps the most remarkable thing about Parkin’s output in this period, however, is his ability to maintain a pretty consistent level of quality. I mean, I’d probably put The Dying Days as the weakest of his first three novels, but it’s by no means a bad piece of work, probably being on par with Orman’s own less Earth-shatteringly incredible books from this same era like Return of the Living Dad or SLEEPY.

Past this point, Parkin’s rate of output drops off considerably, with our next chance to discuss his work being some forty-seven books away when we get around to the co-authored Beige Planet Mars. As such, Secret of the Black Planet inevitably takes on a deeper importance than it might otherwise have when taken in isolation, closing off this initial flurry of Doctor Who-related writing from the author as it does.

Fortunately, it’s more than capable of supporting that extra weight, single-handedly pulling the anthology out of the brief rut in which it had found itself and offering a disturbingly prescient take on the perils of revisionist history.

To those who’ve been paying attention over the course of my past couple of reviews on Parkin’s novels, it shouldn’t exactly come as a surprise that he should adapt so readily to the themes of Re:Generations. More than any other author, Parkin’s oeuvre demonstrates a repeated engagement with the historicisation of Doctor Who, and by extension with the very mechanics of history itself. Even outside of the realms of fiction, what is a work like A History of the Universe if not the most potent literalisation of that theme?

Secret of the Black Planet, then, fits comfortably alongside all the books that came before it, building on the hints seeded in Second Chances and Heritage as to the Forrester family’s connection to Nelson Mandela, and the possibility that said connection was the product of considerable exaggeration and mythmaking through the centuries.

In fact, the use of the term “mythmaking” is strangely appropriate in this context, as Parkin’s story certainly feels of a piece with Shopping for Eternity, exhibiting a similar fascination with the idea of a media-manufactured Messiah, and consequently suffusing itself with a gloriously cynical and sharp-edged satirical tone.

To pick a particularly cutting and pertinent example, Parkin peppers the first half of the story with brief cutaways to a schlocky action film and the uproarious audience response, letting out choice bits of information through the main body of the text until it gradually becomes clear that the film is in fact purportedly based on the life and times of Mandela, complete with P. W. Botha in the role of a generic action movie antagonist.

On the face of it, it’s a wonderfully funny joke, but it also speaks to the wider existential horror at play within the story, and an instinctive revulsion at the idea of the cinematised and sanitised version of history coming to supplant the real thing, to the point where statues ostensibly built in Mandela’s memory actually bear the likeness of actor Troy Forrester, and the film can be remade just eight years after its initial release for the sole purpose of shoring up Forrester’s presidential campaign by cementing his connection to Mandela in the popular consciousness.

To say that these ideas have a strange timeliness in 2023 would be a huge understatement. Of course, perhaps the biggest gulf separating a contemporary reader from the context in which Secret of the Black Planet would have originally been read in May 1997 is the fact that Mandela has actually passed away by this time, and one can reasonably start sifting through the evidence of the ages to make a concrete determination of what Mandela’s “legacy” actually is.

Certainly, the notion that the activist and eventual statesman might end up somewhat sanitised and watered-down in the imagining of those in power would seem to be borne out by such events as his posthumous valorisation by Republican Senator Ted Cruz, of all people, conveniently glossing over minor trivialities like the American government’s continuous vetoing of any efforts by the United Nations to impose economic sanctions upon the South African government in the days of apartheid.

Even the conversations about the relationship between cinematic portraits of Mandela and historical fact seem particularly pointed when viewed with the knowledge of the controversy surrounding films like Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, which sparked similar discussions upon its eerily-timed release in late 2013, with the Nelson Mandela Centre of Memory going so far as to “warn against accepting the movie as historically accurate.

(Mind you, it’s not as if one is spoilt for choice when looking for films entitled Mandela contemporaneous to Re:Generations‘ release in 1997. October 1996 saw the release of Angus Gibson and Jo Menell’s Mandela: Son of Africa, Father of a Nation, which went on to secure an Academy Award nomination for Best Documentary, while Sidney Poitier and Michael Caine assumed the title roles in Showtime’s Mandela and de Klerk some four months later.)

And the final crushing irony is that Troy’s brother Kent, despite trying his best to push back against the revisionism surrounding him, ultimately finds himself subsumed by it and transformed into a Mandela analogue in his own right, being imprisoned for twenty-seven years and becoming the subject of campaigns to secure his release.

History, it seems, is more often written by the Forresters than by the victors.

On a deeper level than the Mandela-connected elements, however, Secret of the Black Planet also feels prescient in its depiction of an Internet-dominated age in which the truth has become a somewhat mutable and flexible thing. While the world may not yet have quite caught up to Parkin’s pessimistic vision of a single corporation that has effectively placed a complete stranglehold upon individuals’ access to the Internet’s vast repositories of information, there were signs even in May 1997 that the “information superhighway” spoken of so glowingly by folks like Al Gore was due to be supplanted by a far more cynical kind of vision.

1994 saw the advent of a highly-publicised research programme into the prospect of digital libraries, with $24.4 million in funding from DARPA, NASA and the NSF. Among the research projects launched as a part of this initiative was one by Stanford University students Larry Page and Sergey Brin, eventually leading directly to the founding of Google and a fundamental shift in the way ordinary citizens accessed information. As such, Parkin’s unease over the commodification of online data serves as an effective snapshot of an Internet rapidly undergoing a profound transformation.

Mind you, things aren’t perfect, and Secret of the Black Planet could certainly be said to miss a trick in its handling of the racial aspects of all this. The people engaged in the rewriting of history are conspicuous in their Black identity, with the suggestion that Mandela has been recast as the originator of apartheid rather than its opponent seeming to stand as a rather paranoid invocation of all manner of fantasies about “reverse racism” against white people.

And if we’re being honest, this was something very much baked into Roz’s character from the time of Original Sin, with her hatred of aliens serving to play on the dramatic irony of a Black woman acting in a xenophobic and racist manner.

Thankfully, those elements were eventually tempered by later, more interesting development on the part of writers like Ben Aaronovitch and Kate Orman, but this is probably the most salient point to concede some of the issues that do tend to arise when your pool of writers is so overwhelmingly white, as Doctor Who‘s has been for most of its history. It’s a minor flaw, and doesn’t necessarily undermine the good ideas on display in this story and the collection in which it’s housed, but it is present nevertheless. Still, Secret of the Black Planet is largely a welcome return to form from Re:Generations, and a decent enough note for Parkin to temporarily bow out on.

9. Rescue Mission by Paul Leonard

I’ve spoken in the past about the rather weird place that Paul Leonard occupies in the tapestry of my opinions on Virgin’s pool of writers. More often than not, I find myself thinking that his novels begin with a rather excellent set of ideas, before gradually losing steam or changing to become something far more banal and uninteresting.

In fact, the only occasion on which I didn’t really get this sensation was in reading his most recent contribution to the Missing Adventures, Speed of Flight, which I lauded as his most consistent book so far. While that meant it largely avoided the crushing lows of the denouements of stories like Dancing the Code or Toy Soldiers, though, it also meant that there was never anything particularly gripping to begin with, either. Still, I found it hard to get too cut up about it, mainly due to its relative brevity when compared to the overlong and tedious pseudo-epics with which it was surrounded.

The logical conclusion, then, might be to surmise that Leonard’s ideas work best in small doses, and that he would likely be an author particularly well-served by the medium of the short story. Having read Rescue Mission, the writer’s final solo contribution to Virgin, I’m inclined to say that this conclusion was, by a strange stroke of good luck, the correct one.

It would certainly be an exaggeration to say that this was my favourite story in the collection, but as you might be led to expect from the rather barebones title, Rescue Mission has a very clear sense of purpose and drive underpinning it, opting to deliver readers a short, compact package comprised of everything one has come to expect from Leonard’s signature style. That style may not always lend itself to the deepest of ideas, but it does allow for the sustenance of a certain amount of momentum throughout the story’s twenty-three page length.

At its heart, the Paul Leonard novel that Rescue Mission most clearly resembles is probably something like Toy Soldiers, but the differences are rather telling. As with that earlier book, Leonard is betting on his ability to communicate the sense of sheer, inherent wrongness that accompanies a situation in which children find themselves forced into acts of violence.

And, fair play to him, there were momentary glimmers within Toy Soldiers where the boons of that ability shone through, with the sections unfolding in the aftermath of World War One proving particularly moving. It was only really once the action shifted to Q’ell, with its hazily-defined, dime-a-dozen alien conflict, that the cracks really started to show in Leonard’s portrait of the issue of child soldiery.

In contrast, Rescue Mission consciously scales back its ambitions, focusing in on a single pair of siblings rather than trying to take in every possible facet of a complex social issue. By and large, this is a decision which pays off in spades, and the steadfast refusal of Abe to give up on his childlike innocence, even in the face of the overwhelming horror with which he is surrounded, manages to be far more affecting than anything in the earlier novel.

The most simplistic characterisation of Abe’s arc would be to make the observation that he fundamentally misunderstands the kind of story he’s in, believing himself to be in a work of children’s literature when he’s actually in something far darker. Rescue Mission certainly provides ample evidence for that conclusion, with the titular mission hewing to a rather familiar “teenage protagonist bands together with his friends to go on an adventure” structure before undergoing the sharpest possible left turn once our hapless heroes arrive on the chief antagonist’s island, only to be near-instantaneously slaughtered.

But this fails to consider the fact that Leonard is actually doing something far more shrewd here. It’s hardly controversial to assert that a fair chunk of children’s literature – and especially children’s adventure literature – is principally concerned with the process of growing up. Abe, then, takes that approach to a rather gloomy and grim extreme, serving as an archetypal children’s literature protagonist whose chief failing lies in his steadfast refusal to have that revelatory moment, right up until the moment of his death and the end of his script.

Particularly devastating is the change of gears at the last minute, as it turns out that only Abe and Callie’s distant baronial Forrester relatives are capable of launching a truly effective rescue mission thanks to their privilege and wealth affording them the ability to freely operate within the Empire’s power structures. Moreover, even Callie’s eventual liberty doesn’t protect her from the media circus seeking to reduce her to a sensationalist symbol with which to grab the attention of audiences.

This skepticism of stories has, as you’ve probably noticed, quietly become a recurring theme for Re:Generations, particularly in its back half. Really, the only story since Burning Bright not to demonstrate this sort of profound unease with the reduction of human beings down to a string of flattened narrative beats was Approximate Time of Death, and I don’t think it’s entirely a coincidence that that’s the story I singled out as the collection’s worst.

We might all be stories in the end, but the latter half of Re:Generations seems profoundly disquieted by that possibility, perceiving it as an ontological threat that has the capacity to warp and twist the meanings of our lives beyond all rhyme and reason, to the point of making it impossible to recognise exactly what type of story we’ve been playing out until it’s far too late.

It is, perhaps, a viewpoint which lends itself to overly grim melodrama and wry metaxtuality, and any extended engagement with the theme might run the risk of becoming one-note. Indeed, this particular story might just be the most grimly melodramatic expression of that viewpoint yet, but it’s no less effective for it, and the underlying position is still a genuinely bold and provocative one to be hearing from an anthology of this kind, cutting against the collection’s very nature as it does.

Although Leonard certainly doesn’t disappear from the story of Virgin past this point, serving as co-editor with Jim Mortimore on the fifth and final Decalog and eventually teaming up with Nick Walters to contribute one final New Adventure in the form of 1998’s Dry PilgrimageRescue Mission probably represents the first time I can honestly say that I found one of his stories to be a true, unadulterated triumph. For that reason alone, it feels like a fitting capstone to this era of Leonard’s solo outings, and provides a tantalising glimpse of the potential which has sadly been all too easy to lose sight of amidst the frequent messiness of his full-length novels.

10. Dependence Day by Andy Lane and Justin Richards

And so it ends, as it was probably always destined to, with the aftermath of So Vile a Sin.

Dependence Day is something of a strange beast, and it’s difficult to entirely know how best to approach it. On the one hand, it’s very obviously hearkening back to the Playback model from the very first Decalog, with the collection’s editor(s) penning a story which theoretically unites the scattered pieces of the anthology into something resembling a coherent whole.

Taken on those terms, Re:Generations manages to prove just how far the series has come, with Lane and Richards managing to lend a decent amount of retroactive grandeur and weight to even the most unassuming stories that the audience has just sat through.

And yet Dependence Day also feels far more substantial than Playback ever did, with boundaries that are far less hazily defined, to the point where it feels strange to appraise it purely in its function as an epilogue or a postscript. Where Walker’s story was initially framed as the first piece in a larger collection, only to morph into a running thread of linking material that cropped up between each instalment before finally reasserting its substantial gravity after the credits rolled on Lackaday ExpressDependence Day is clearly and unambiguously the tenth story of Re:Generations.

Taken as a story, then, it must be said that it leaves a little to be desired. The plotting isn’t as tight as one might traditionally expect from a Richards story – indeed, it mostly just plays as one long riff on The Twilight Zone‘s To Serve Man, a move which I suppose has to be commended for its sheer chutzpah if nothing else – while Lane’s gift for grounding even the most fantastical of stories in substantial, solid character work is conspicuous by its absence. Of the two, it is the latter which is perhaps the most disheartening, given this story’s status as the last of our chances to engage with the work of Andy Lane until he reunites with Richards to write The Banquo Legacy some three years hence.

So the correct answer to the question of how to treat Dependence Day would seem to lie somewhere in the middle between these two extremes. It isn’t the most gripping of tales, but it doesn’t really need to be. This is a final chance for the collection to restate its main ideas in the most bold, broad and downright operatic fashion possible, and if you read it like that… yeah, it’s decent.

In many respects, Dependence Day‘s best idea also speaks well to the flaws in its general execution. Having Tranlis Difarallio go from a neutral arbiter who shows up to introduce the historical context of each story to an active participant is an inspired last-minute twist on the collection’s format, but to turn him into the villain is downright brilliant.

Lane and Richards manage to compellingly hammer home the sense of hollowness that exists at the heart of his character, pointedly refusing to afford the audience any real insight into the exact reasons for his having become obsessed with the family history of the Forresters, nor why he feels so strongly about his being the one to put an end to it. Tranlis Difarallio is not a man so much as he is a narrative device made flesh, the finality of the short story collection so frequently railed against by the stories within Re:Generations come to stalk amongst the ruins of the family estate one last time.

It’s telling that Leabie and Thandiwe – avatars, lest we forget, of the New Adventures’ own final end, given the production troubles which so consistently plagued So Vile a Sin – are assigned fates which each emphasise a cyclical, open-ended view of history, in contrast to Tranlis’ rigid, closed loop.

Leabie finds herself supplanted by the quiet invasion of the Cimliss, explicitly identified as having been transformed into a being that defies classification as a mere Forrester, while it is ultimately Thandiwe who manages to ward off the threat of Tranlis through the deeply symbolic act of taking up the family’s millennium-old Xhosa club and wielding it once more. Indeed, even Colin Howard’s strange metallic space baby on the cover, revealed on the story’s very last page as a representation of Tranlis’ ship, would seem to speak to a looming fusion of the ironclad certainty of history with the organic spontaneity of the individual.

Ah, we haven’t got to the “flaws in its general execution bit” yet, have we?

While all of this certainly sounds great on a broad strokes, thematic level, the decision to only reveal Tranlis as an out-and-out villain in the final two pages of the story – and thus the final two pages of the collection as a whole – sharply curtails any possibility of the twist being dramatically satisfying.

Sure, it’s made clear that his distracting Leabie with tales of the past redirects her attention away from the Cimliss’ invasion, but while this certainly fits within the story’s general ethos of skepticism towards a view of history as little more than a collection of mutable, fleeting stories, it seems to be of peripheral benefit to Tranlis’ overall plan, meaning the character’s lack of definition begins to feel less like a deliberate design and more like an unfortunate allocation of narrative real estate.

(With that being said, I do kind of admire the unmitigated cheekiness of Lane turning the Cimliss, a race built out of a single line of dialogue from Lucifer Rising, into the beings that threaten to supplant the Earth Empire. Much like the Empire’s catastrophic fin de siècle in So Vile a Sin, of course, this also serves as something of a dual-edged commentary both on the New Adventures’ newfound status quo and the looming symbolic end of the British Empire in the form of the Hong Kong handover.)

Still, for all its limitations, Dependence Day broadly achieves what it sets out to do, just about managing to recontextualise the past nine stories into the epic tragedy promised by the front cover, even if the stories themselves might have occasionally stumbled embarrassingly in their efforts to achieve that full splendour. If it falls ever so slightly short of being truly dramatically satisfying, bearing more than a passing resemblance to the dying cadences of an aria, then perhaps that’s strangely appropriate.

And, fair play, the story’s last paragraph is pretty great.

Final Thoughts

To proclaim Re:Generations as the best Decalog so far is one of those critical observations that seems so stunningly obvious that I could really just let it sit unsupported, but just for the sake of completeness – although we’ve cleared 14,000 words already, so I can’t imagine that’s too pressing an issue – we’ll briefly go through the motions anyway.

There’s a remarkably consistent baseline level of quality here, far in excess of what the previous collections had led me to expect. Of the ten stories, there were only two that I would actively consider “not particularly good,” and only one of that pair was so devoid of interesting and creative ideas as to actively bore me. The remainder consistently held my attention throughout, even despite their running as long as thirty-eight pages, which is a pretty good sign, as far as I’m concerned.

All told, then, it’s a damn shame that the very nature of this anthology means that the vast majority of Doctor Who fans are inevitably going to skip over it. If you have the necessary disposable income handy and can track down a copy, I think it’s well worth a read, even beyond its obvious status as a historical curio.

Even if you don’t, however, I hope you’ll join me next time nevertheless as we start off the next one hundred books with another Justin Richards novel, Dragons’ Wrath, and welcome Braxiatel back to the New Adventures fold. Until I finish my long overdue re-read of Theatre of War, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Virgin New Adventures Reviews: Oh No It Isn’t! by Paul Cornell (or, “The Pantomime at the End of the University”)

Something that I don’t think I’ve stressed nearly as persistently throughout the course of these reviews as I perhaps could have done is the simple fact of just how odd it is, from the perspective of a Doctor Who fan living in 2023, that a company like Virgin Books was ever in a position of sufficient power that it could be credibly considered one of the chief custodians of the franchise’s future, if not the only major claimant to that title for the bulk of its existence.

Admittedly, it’s not as if there haven’t been some weird footnotes to be found among the weeds of Doctor Who prose fiction. Long before there were Target novelisations, for instance, there were the adaptations of The DaleksThe Web Planet and The Crusade, published by Frederick Muller Ltd. Folks looking for a general overview of Frederick Muller Ltd’s other output, however, will be fresh out of luck, as even the imprint’s listing on the Internet Speculative Fiction Database suggests a certain dearth of definite information, positing that the company “must have been quite big in the 1950s and 1960s,” a declaration that seems to lean rather more heavily on the “speculative” aspect of the site’s name than on that of the “database,” if you ask me.

The rest of the page offers only the broadest summary of the elusive imprint’s history, including one of those great “God I wish I knew the whole story here” moments in the course of my research for Dale’s Ramblings, where reference is made to the company having been sold by HTV – presumably Harlech Television, the old name for an ITV franchise area which has since been split into ITV Cymru Wales and ITV West Country – to an “Anthony White” for a whopping £1 and seemingly little-to-no fanfare, since all signs seem to point to its having been subsumed into Random House and almost completely forgotten about by the close of the decade.

(If for no deeper reason than my own amusement, I’ll also mention here that the Royal Academy of Arts’ website is marginally more helpful than the ISFDB, revealing that Frederick Muller was behind such erudite literature as Gretta Allan’s Goosie Gander Plays His Part, to say nothing of the monumentally-entitled 1950 tome Blackadder: a tale of the days of Nelson as told by some of those who played parts in it, the various documents collected and edited by Stephen MacFarlane and the whole now presented for the first time in book form by John Keir Cross. With illustrations by Robin Jacques, naturally. Who else could it possibly be, I ask you?!)

Beyond that, discerning 1960s readers could choose to pick up the regular Doctor Who Annuals courtesy of Manchester publishing stalwart World Distributors (“Pembertons” to its friends), or the first – and for a quarter of a century, only – original novel to feature the Doctor, J. L. Morrissey’s delightfully generic-sounding The Invasion from Space.

All of which is without even touching upon Dalekmania-tinged titles like The Dalek Book from Souvenir Press, an independent publishing house stewarded by the late Czechoslovakian émigré Ernest Hecht which is, in fact, still going strong and has maintained its independence more than seventy years after its initial founding in spite of the titanic gravity exerted by Penguin over the British publishing scene. If you were so inclined, you could probably coax out a reasonably interesting history on the subject through the lens of Souvenir’s weathering of the many trials and tribulations that must invariably besiege such publishers, but for our purposes, the example of The Dalek Book – and its two sequels, The Dalek World and The Dalek Outer Space Book – is pretty much all we’re going to be concerned with today.

Published in the thick of the programme’s first season, hitting shelves at the very tail end of June 1964 and about five months after the broadcast of The Daleks‘ seventh and final episode, The Dalek Book can lay an extremely strong claim to being the first ever work of Doctor Who spin-off fiction, at least if we’re operating under the definition of “a story featuring concepts and characters introduced in the original television series, but without the presence of the Doctor themselves.”

This, in turn, brings us to that perennial quirk of Doctor Who, or more broadly of British copyright law as a whole. If you, as a writer, just so happened to hit upon that fortuitous combination of coming up with a genuine smash hit of an idea while not being a contracted BBC employee, you could look forward to retaining the licensing rights on that idea for any independent production that might come along.

(Of course, if you were Raymond Cusick, you’d just have to make do with an ex gratia payment of £100 and a few decades’ wait to achieve proper recognition for having played a pivotal role in devising one of the most famous and enduring designs in science-fiction history, but that’s neither here nor there, really…)

For much of the programme’s original twenty-six year run, the significance of these spin-offs proved rather peripheral. After the publication of The Dalek Outer Space Book in 1966, Souvenir Press quietly abandoned any notions of a Dalek annual, although the concept would be temporarily revived by World Distributors in the mid-to-late 1970s with four instalments of Terry Nation’s Dalek Annual.

Even in this instance, the power of the spin-off ultimately proved rather limited, as confirmed by a quick glance at the total failure of Nation’s efforts to port the Daleks to American television in the wake of the genocidal pepperpots’ “final end” in The Evil of the Daleks. And lest you think that the production and broadcast of a full-on television pilot was by any means guaranteed to secure a full series commitment, there also exists the cautionary tale of 1981’s K-9 and Company, denied a commission thanks to a change of management among the higher-ups of BBC One despite securing better ratings than all of Doctor Who‘s eighteenth season, and in a rather unfavourable late December slot to boot.

No, the dawn of the Doctor Who spin-off as a broadly sustainable artform in and of itself is, by and large, a phenomenon of the Wilderness Years. As with any sufficiently complex question concerning a long-running franchise of this nature, the particulars of this trend’s genesis are somewhat fluid and subject to debate, but it seems that any argument on the matter will inevitably gravitate towards Reeltime Pictures’ Wartime.

One might well choose to quibble on this point, and note that a direct-to-VHS film from January 1988 does not technically fall within the typically-accepted definition of the Wilderness Years’ parameters, but such an argument is rather pedantic, even if we decline to bring up some of the more salient points like writer Andy Lane’s subsequent status as one of the more prominent New Adventures authors. If we can accept a slightly looser definition of a historical period like “the 1990s” as referring more to a general societal vibe that began with the fall of the Berlin Wall and ended with the attacks on the World Trade Center rather than the cold, hard dictates of the Gregorian calendar, then surely we can apply the same logic to Doctor Who‘s own history.

For all that I obviously love the McCoy era very dearly, the fact remains that it was a period in which the series was effectively dead in the water, due in no small part to the BBC’s rather underhanded decision to schedule it opposite the immensely popular Coronation Street. It’s telling that the eventual 1989 cancellation wasn’t framed in such explicit terms, but instead as the BBC simply declining to produce a twenty-seventh season. It’s a passive wording, analogous more to taking the programme off of life support rather than consciously choosing to shoot it in the back of the head.

To all intents and purposes beyond the most obsessively literal-minded, then, the McCoy era absolutely qualifies as a de facto part of the Wilderness Years – to be honest, the cut-off point could feasibly be argued to fall around the time of the original 1985 hiatus, which would also confer a similar status upon The Trial of a Time Lord – and so too does Wartime.

Once it became clear that there was to be no televised Doctor Who for the foreseeable future, though, Reeltime very rapidly found themselves competing with other players in the fan production market. In 1997, this only really means BBV, with both Big Finish and Magic Bullet being some way off their respective beginnings.

Virgin, of course, always existed at something of a tangent to this sphere. On the one hand, they were Item #1 on the infinitesimally small list of non-BBC companies who had an official license to create original Doctor Who fiction. In the novels’ heyday, this was a list that really only included Marvel UK’s ongoing Doctor Who Magazine comic strip, which initially deferred to Virgin by incorporating key New Adventures characters like Benny before wandering off into a morass of past Doctor stories.

(Yes, in the final months of the NAs’ lifespan the comic had started to forge its own path with Paul McGann’s Eighth Doctor, but it seems fair to say that much of fandom’s attention was initially focused on the launch of BBC Books’ Eighth Doctor Adventures, before people actually got to read The Eight Doctors and subsequently got very, very confused indeed… but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.)

And yet for all that Virgin were manifestly official in a way that Bill Baggs and his comrades weren’t – even if Baggs had them beat on the whole “actually having Doctor Who actors to play out the stories” front, before gradually pissing off most of those actors so much that they never wanted to work with him again – they always kept one foot planted in the strange and heady world of fandom, too.

The company’s open submissions policy became a rightfully lauded part of their legacy, giving voice to budding young writers from fan culture like Paul Cornell, Russell T. Davies and Steven Moffat. As you’re hopefully aware by now, those are all names that would go on to have a pretty big impact on the television series upon its revival in 2005.

Outside of that, there’s also the demonstrable cross-pollination between the Virgin and BBC Books pool of writers and that of the more overtly fannish BBV. Baggs’ Audio Adventures in Time & Space series – which is admittedly about a year out from launching at this point, but we’ve already chosen not to argue over such paltry trifles as “the calendar,” so please do pipe down – boasts a number of credits from established stalwarts in the world of Doctor Who novels, from Mark Gatiss to David A. McIntee.

What’s more, writers like Lance Parkin and Lawrence Miles would port over concepts like the I and Faction Paradox from the Eighth Doctor Adventures line, and BBV’s output could pretty reliably count on being reviewed in the pages of DWM, a gesture that served both as a stamp of legitimacy and a concession to the shared audience that existed between the two worlds.

Even if Baggs’ subsequent antics and general irrelevance have helped ensure that he’s barely ever remembered in broad-stroke accounts of the Wilderness Years – and on the occasions that he does get a mention, it’s rarely especially complementary – it’s pretty indisputable that, at the time, audiences would very much have seen his work as being of a piece with that of Virgin, BBC Books and eventually Big Finish, comparative quality of each company’s oeuvre notwithstanding.

Still, none of this really touches upon the central point, which is that a world in which Virgin Books were a major player in the history of Doctor Who seems almost unimaginable nowadays. Judging by many, many conversations I’ve had with people in real life trying to explain exactly what it is I write about – and you have no idea how difficult it is to tell someone that you review a novel series named the “Virgin New Adventures” without having them leap to some rather lurid and unflattering conclusions about your work – I’d be willing to bet pretty good money on most members of the general public being totally unaware that Richard Branson’s commercial behemoth had ever tried to get a foothold in the mystical realm of publishing, to say nothing of the fact that said publishing house was handed the proverbial keys to the kingdom with respect to one of the BBC’s most enduring franchises.

This, in its own peculiar way, is indicative of the vast and nigh-incomprehensible perceptual gulf that unavoidably impinges upon any attempt to recapture the strange spirit of the Wilderness Years from a modern standpoint. In 2023, we might well see Doctor Who as an enduring, sixty-year titan of British television that has almost become an institution in its own right within the larger corpus of the BBC, but when Virgin acquired W. H. Allen & Co. – holders of the Target Books imprint, and by extension of the license to novelise televised Doctor Who stories – in the mid-to-late 1980s, it was, as we’ve discussed, anything but.

The BBC’s decision to allow Virgin to expand their artistic remit into the publication of original full-length novels based on the series must therefore be seen as what it is: a reliable indicator that the broadcaster was no longer especially concerned with maintaining the sanctity of their hold on Doctor Who as a brand.

It’s not for nothing, after all, that a similar proposal by one of the Target imprint’s previous editors, Nigel Robinson, had been decisively shot down by the Beeb, with the company subsequently arriving at a compromise in the form of the short-lived Companions of Doctor Who spin-off series, which published one original novel each featuring the characters of Turlough and Harry Sullivan, as well as a novelisation of the aforementioned failed K-9 and Company pilot.

Peter Darvill-Evans was really just lucky enough to be the man left holding the reins of Target at the point in time when the BBC were least likely to make a grand show of resistance on behalf of Doctor Who. This is not something I say to downplay or dismiss Darvill-Evans’ contributions, but rather to allow those contributions to sit in a broader context. Indeed, some might well argue that the fact that the New Adventures came about through such a mundane and prosaic bit of begrudging BBC licensing only serves to further enhance their eventual metamorphosis into a rather wondrous, inventive and fruitful niche within Doctor Who, as good an example of a butterfly spreading its wings and outgrowing the earthly ties of its chrysalis as ever there was.

But as we’ve been not-so-obliquely gesturing at for quite some time now, we know how the story ends, so it’s time to break out the butterfly nets, and damn any piddling hurricanes that might crop up as a result.

In a rather ironic twist of fate, the New Adventures ultimately ended in much the same way as they began, brought down by the BBC’s realisation that the McGann movie’s achieving a ninth-place ranking with its UK broadcast was probably a pretty good sign that there was a market for more Doctor Who, and simultaneously finding that BBC Worldwide was in a much better shape than its predecessor BBC Enterprises had been in the late 1980s, allowing them more than sufficient pretext to fold the licensing arrangements for the series back into BBC Books.

So here, then, over a decade later, Virgin finds itself returning to much the same territory as The Companions of Doctor Who, producing a spin-off series based on a character who had once been a regular travelling companion of the Doctor. Having lost the license, their options were naturally limited to those characters that were originally creations of the New Adventures themselves, and in such circumstances, Bernice Surprise Summerfield is the only choice that can really be said to make sense.

(If we’re being frank, as far as “NA-original companions who were well-developed enough to feasibly support their own stories” are concerned, the only other option open to you would probably be Roz Forrester, but her death obviously puts something of a kink in any such plans. Unless you wanted to split the difference and dive into the Forrester family writ large, about which more next time, incidentally. Also, given the launch of the Cwej series in recent years, Arcbeatle Press clearly wish to voice their disagreement with my thesis here, but I’m writing the blog, not them, so I don’t really know what to tell you…)

Talk of choices, though, and of outlining the rationale behind said choices, allows me to rather neatly segue into today’s object of discussion, namely Oh No It Isn’t!, and to hopefully clarify some of my own reasoning in the process. Because there’s one rather big question hanging over all of this, isn’t there?

(Oh no there isn’t! Sorry, I was contractually obligated to do that bit, got it out of my system now. Oh no I ha- right, let’s stop that.)

That question, of course, is “Why on Earth are you even bothering to cover the Benny novels at all, Dale?” It’s a good question, even if the answer seems rather obvious from my perspective. After all, even if Big Finish are still releasing Bernice Summerfield stories with a pretty passionate following some thirty years after the publication of Love and War… well, it’s Big Finish, and people are probably going to keep buying their stuff for a while yet.

Of all the companies I cited in my exploration of the weird and wonderful corners of Doctor Who in the Wilderness Years, they are far and away the ones that have come out of the intervening decades the healthiest, even if they don’t actually exist yet in May 1997. BBV and Magic Bullet might still be taking payments on their respective websites, but the latter haven’t released a new production since 2013’s The Time Waster, as far as I can tell, and the former is embroiled in Bill Baggs’ rather tarnished legacy of treating the talent in his employ like garbage and just generally being an all-around shifty operator.

If the Wilderness Years are the Time War, then Big Finish is almost certainly the victor, and if we’re limiting ourselves to the audio drama scene then it becomes well-nigh inarguable. On the other hand, Virgin Books, as I hinted at earlier, is not so well-off, being basically non-existent. Between these two choices, it doesn’t take a genius to see which is the more accessible avenue for fans to get their fix of Bernice stories.

I bring all of this up to make the point that I could probably quite happily jump straight from The Well-Mannered War to The Eight Doctors, and still feel pretty confident that the bulk of my readers wouldn’t really have a problem with it at all. If the New Adventures can be characterised as a niche property within a niche property, then they undeniably fit that mould even better after their loss of the Doctor Who license, which was always their main draw, historically speaking.

So I definitely understand why most long-form critical engagements with the New Adventures kind of tail off after The Dying Days; if you’ve already pored over even half of the sixty-one total novels released between June 1991 and April 1997, tacking on a weird coda in which you’re talking about novels that never meaningfully represented the future of Doctor Who just seems like overkill. If any books do get touched upon from the Benny years, it’s almost always the two Lawrence Miles novels or, appropriately enough, Oh No It Isn’t! itself, being the one that laid the foundations that were subsequently studiously ignored by most authors to come.

In much the same spirit, however, we are going to steadfastly refuse to adhere to the weight of expected precedent. In what might well be a spectacular failure of common sense, I fully intend to cover not just the twenty-three New Adventures featuring the escapades of Bernice Summerfield, but also the two remaining Decalogs, which should be especially interesting in the case of Wonders, where Virgin all but gives up the facade that their stories must have anything to do with Doctor Who or its contingent fictional worlds.

(Still not sure how I’m going to handle that one, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it…)

In part, this is because I do kind of bristle at the hidden premise nested within the frequent eagerness to brush past the Benny novels. Perhaps I’m just a cynic, but it does occasionally feel as if, on some level, the post-Dying Days novels are treated as something of a dead end for the Virgin line’s wider cultural relevance vis-a-vis Doctor Who.

It’s not even that this is necessarily wholly untrue, but I do feel like measuring a series’ worth on no deeper axis than “How many people experienced it?” is the sort of thinking that Doctor Who fans – especially those with a hankering for the Wilderness Years – should really know better than to engage in. I mean, if we follow this argumentative thread to its natural conclusion, we’re left with some rather dubious deductions of the kind that treat a film’s box office returns as a direct correlate to its quality, and unless you’re willing to make the case that, say, Transformers: Age of Extinction was the absolute peak of Hollywood’s filmmaking craft in 2014 by dint of its being the only movie of the year to crack a billion dollars, that’s a position that should give any reasonable critic pause for thought.

What’s more, the Bernice-led New Adventures represent something that we’ve never really seen in the history of Doctor Who novels before or since. If nothing else, they tell the story of a Wilderness Years company being forced to actively contend with its newfound status as the proverbial second fiddle, consigned to a space just a meagre few rungs above an outfit like BBV and acting in accordance with those same nebulous operating principles that have provided the impetus for many a spin-off series since time immemorial.

In all likelihood, BBC Books are never going to allow the Doctor Who license to be leased out to a company like Virgin again, even in the event of a hypothetical second Wilderness Years. As a part of the Random House empire, the company is just too established a feature of the publishing landscape to allow their limelight to be hogged to such a degree, and so the example of Virgin’s pivot in the aftermath of The Dying Days is surely an interesting enough saga in its own right.

(Admittedly, the other significant piece of reasoning I’m using to justify my argument here is that I spent about $150 on a copy of Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story a few months back, and it would be rather silly to suddenly decide to so drastically shift gears and refuse to cover any of the Benny books, but that’s all by the by…)

So with all of that being said, how do they choose to usher the audience into this brave new world, that has such archaeologists in’t? In the only way they could have, really: with Paul Cornell. And, as the old aphorism goes, why not? After all, that’s how it all started. It’s frankly something of a no-brainer to get the man who created Bernice Summerfield – not to mention one of the most acclaimed and influential writers ever to work on the New Adventures – on board to give the new series some much-needed verve and legitimacy right out the gate.

Indeed, it’s worth noting that, since the novel saw print some two and a half weeks before the launch of the EDAs, this is the one moment in time at which the Benny novels could unequivocally be said to be the standard-bearers for Doctor Who-adjacent prose, even if they really only acquire that title thanks to a rather arbitrary quirk of BBC Books’ publication schedule.

The only problem, or at least so the standard narrative has it, is that Cornell didn’t exactly see fit to make many concessions to such paltry considerations as “allowing the books to maintain a decent audience of Doctor Who fans, and maybe even bring in some new converts in the process.”

Now’s the point at which I’m forced to concede that there’s certainly more than a grain of truth to be found in these claims. This is, as most readers are probably aware by now, a novel that serves as a forceful and unrepentant love letter to the British pantomime, an artform so inherently and absurdly localised that putting a geographical determinant in front of it almost seems like the very heights of redundancy. There are certainly other places in the world where you can still find pantomimes done with a reasonable degree of frequency, but the United Kingdom is exceptional in the sheer prominence afforded panto within its culture.

The logical corollary that everyone points out in relation to Oh No It Isn’t!, then, is certainly accurate. Pantomime is such a strange niche that it serves to severely curtail the capacity for people who have never experienced a performance to understand it on anything but the most intellectual of levels, and as I’m pretty sure even the most avid panto-goers would tell you, adjectives like “intellectual” are a very poor fit for this particular brand of theatre.

I mean, I live in Australia, a country where we are more than willing to poach parts of British culture for our own, to the point of still incorporating the Union Jack in our national flag, and maintaining the sport of cricket as such a beloved and revered athletic institution that we’ve basically chosen to observe a de facto national holiday for nearly one hundred and fifty years that consists entirely of trying to beat the snotters out of our erstwhile kinsmen in said sport, all for the sake of a janky old cup with some ashes in it and, most importantly, general bragging rights.

(This is usually the point where people like me tend to pop in with a snarky comment on the intrinsic silliness of trying to claim bragging rights in a sport as paralysingly dull, boring and tedious as cricket, but instead I’ll just leave you with an anecdote concerning the fact that I have only ever been to one cricket match in my life, which my eight-year-old self promptly fell asleep at. I am far prouder of this fact than I perhaps should be.)

Even in the face of this valorisation of the nation’s British antecedents, well beyond the point of all credible reason, pantomime still feels like such a distant and peculiar cultural institution to me that it might as well hail from the Moon for all that I understand it.

Taking all of this into account, it’s difficult to quibble too stridently with the judgment of reviewers like DWM‘s Dave Owen or SFX‘s Anthony Brown upon the novel’s original publication, both of whose evaluations leaned rather heavily on adjectives like “self-indulgent,” and bemoaned “the weight of in-jokes, parodies, and pointless contemporary references.” It’s not hard to detect a strain of genuine befuddlement here, and if we’re speaking from a purely financial perspective, Oh No It Isn’t! must absolutely be acknowledged as a stumbling block that probably hobbled the Virgin line’s chances at long-term survival.

But equally, we’ve already established that we’re not all that interested in talking about the base economics of the situation to the exclusion of all other factors – this is Dale’s Ramblings, thank you very much, not the Wall Street Journal – and as much as any attempt to read Oh No It Isn’t! with the benefit of hindsight must inevitably acknowledge that it marks the beginning of a dead end for Virgin, it’s also impossible to avoid talking about the precise “self” who is doing all the “indulging” here, namely one Paul Cornell.

The indulgent and almost decadent aspects of this novel are pretty readily explained once you realise that this is self-evidently structured as a “last hurrah” for Cornell’s engagement with the New Adventures, and indeed for Doctor Who as a whole. Yes, that’s actually something that was equally true of the last two Cornell novels we looked at, but this pseudo-departure comes much closer to sticking than Human Nature or Happy Endings ever did.

Breaking down the numbers reveals the starkness of this particular divide. Oh No It Isn’t! is the ninety-ninth book I’ve talked about as a part of this series, a figure which takes into account oddities like Who Killed Kennedy and the Decalogs. Over these first hundred books, Cornell has written seven full-length novels, and contributed a short story to each of Virgin’s first two Decalog anthologies.

Over the next hundred – a period spanning roughly from Dragon’s Wrath in June 1997 to The Turing Test in October 2000, for those playing the home game in a particularly obsessive manner – the only Cornell novel to speak of is The Shadows of Avalon, nearly three years from now. Past that, we’ll have another four years to wait before getting around to his novelisation of Scream of the Shalka. Obviously even that isn’t the end of Cornell’s involvement with Doctor Who, but for our purposes, this is the point at which the man largely exits the narrative.

One could perhaps continue to mount a repudiation of Oh No It Isn’t! even in the face of this, making the point that it’s perhaps a shame that one of the New Adventures’ most influential and talented writers should choose to take his bow with a piece of frocky, silly fluff, but even this is something I personally find rather unconvincing.

For one, if you want a heartfelt farewell from Cornell to the NAs that at least makes some occasional stabs at being serious, well, Happy Endings is right there, but more importantly, I just can’t muster up the energy to tether myself to a position that brushes uncomfortably close to a full-chested declaration of “Quit having fun!” Sure, I’m also not the biggest fan of said position’s logical inverse – the “Let people enjoy things!” mentality, if you will – but the fact remains that if there’s one writer who’s earned the right to be a little silly goofy like in their NA swansong, it’s probably Paul Cornell.

And this gestures at the thing that’s quite easy to lose sight of when you’re making supremely strange decisions like cooking up about five thousand words talking about the state of various Doctor Who publishing houses from the Wilderness Years, which is that Oh No It Isn’t! is, once you really drill it down to its bare essentials, eminently enjoyable. While taking this stance does perhaps require us to shear the book of the weight of its perceived obligations to the establishment of this new phase of the New Adventures, the passage of more than twenty-six years in which to recontextualise the novel means that I really don’t consider that to be an especially unconscionable breach of the reviewing principles that I’ve historically stuck to.

In fact, it’s to Cornell’s credit that he does actually devote almost the entirety of the novel’s first chapter to the task of fleshing out St. Oscar’s University and the planet Dellah. Bernice’s frantic bicycle-bound search for Wolsey is a pretty blatant way of allowing her to cross paths with as many members of the wacky faculty staff as is humanly possible, but it’s smoothed over considerably by Cornell’s talent, finely honed over the course of seven novels, for effortlessly infusing a potentially mundane and rote sequence of housekeeping with copious amounts of charm and wit.

Of course, this also gets at one of the biggest problems with the worldbuilding of Oh No It Isn’t! in hindsight, namely the degree to which many of these myriad facets of life at St. Oscar’s end up going virtually unacknowledged by later novels.

In this regard, there is perhaps no greater illustration of my point than the inclusion of Menlove Stokes, a character woven into the story of Dellah at the close of Gareth Roberts’ The Well-Mannered War. Despite being quite a major player here – he even gets to be the sole academic besides Bernice mentioned by name in the blurb, the lucky sod – he never appears in the flesh in any of the twenty-two subsequent New Adventures, though various authors will name-check him here and there throughout the series.

(This, at least, is more than can be said for the other character to be ported over from another author’s work, namely Professor Arthur Candy, late of Steven Moffat’s rather wonderful short story Continuity Errors, and who is sadly never again mentioned past this point. Ah well, his presence here at least serves as one last heartwarming reminder of the ongoing thematic congruity between Cornell and Moffat.)

Mind you, it’s hard to fault Cornell for any of this, since by all reasonable definitions he more than rises to the brief he was given. To quote the instructions of editorial impresario Rebecca Levene, by way of The Inside StoryOh No It Isn’t! was directed “to create a huge cast of eccentrics and locals for the rest of the team to explore,” and the fact that the rest of the team singularly failed to explore said cast doesn’t negate the effort put into its development.

Unfortunately, however, it does help to ensure that the metatextual pantomime stuff is the only part of the novel anyone really talks about, particularly when the Big Finish adaptation – by far the most accessible version of the story for modern audiences, as we’ve said – makes the decision to just skip the Dellah sequences and open with Bernice’s expedition on Perfecton.

This is, to be fair, a completely reasonable change, and the type of thing that is always going to crop up in transposing a story from prose to audio, but while the audio version is largely pretty fantastic – as you’d expect from the release that almost single-handedly helped put Big Finish on the map, and distinguished it from the rather cutthroat and cutprice pragmatism embodied by BBV – I think it inevitably loses some of the thematic context embodied in these early sequences, context which is pretty crucial to parsing what Oh No It Isn’t! is actually trying to do.

Cornell is hardly subtle here, a point he seemed to concede in conversation with Simon Guerrier years after the fact when he confessed that he felt “[the novel’s] subtexts overwhelm the text quite a bit.” To illustrate my point, I think I should really just quote the description of the dream we’re told Bernice has just woken up from immediately prior to her first appearance:

The bad dream last night had been unusual. It wasn’t one of the regular ones about missing the last spaceship, dropping valuable vases over cliffs, not catching the elephant that had leapt from the other trapeze. It was about being on stage. An audience was watching her, bored and grumbling, as she tried to reach out to them with a dramatic piece. She knew that what she had to say was passionate and profound, but on her lips the words had become too concrete and crude. She died on stage, and started to cry, asking the watchers just what they expected of her.
Asking how much longer she had to go on, how much harder she was expected to try.

Now, look. Autobiography is perhaps one of the easiest, and some might say laziest, methods of contextualising an artist’s work, and we would perhaps do well to heed the advice given by PJ Harvey when the music press suggested that her classic 1993 album Rid of Me should be read in such a manner, rejoining that “[she] would have to be 40 and very worn out to have lived through everything [she] wrote about.”

But equally, I mean… sometimes these things are practically gift-wrapped for me, y’know?

It’s very hard to escape the impression that, like Emily Hutchings’ constantly stymied attempts to pen the ending of The Unformed Heart in Happy Endings and free herself from the “hackwork” of romantic fiction, Cornell is pretty clearly signifying his belief that he’s reached the limits of what he can do within the world of Doctor Who or, as the case may be, the world of Bernice Summerfield, if the two can be said to be meaningfully separate beyond the directives of such trivialities as “copyright” and “licensing arrangements.”

And so, in that context, the fact that he immediately sets about breaking that world and crashing it together with some particularly quaint English theatrical traditions actually becomes supremely unsurprising. As the man himself wrote all the way back in No Future, history repeats itself, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce. This time, it’s panto.

So I guess what I’m trying to argue here is that this shouldn’t really be read as “the first Bernice-led New Adventure” at all, really, but as “the last Cornell-penned New Adventure,” even as I fully admit that it was never feasible that that reading would be fandom’s default choice. Perhaps, contrary to the author’s later assertions, the wider text of Doctor Who was always going to subsume any subtextual injections from Cornell.

Nonetheless, even the academics on the Perfecton expedition get in on the thematic action. When Professor Epstein waxes lyrical about the mark of a sane society and a sane person being the ability to laugh at oneself, and how some people assume melodrama to be the only valuable form of entertainment, it’s pretty clear he’s not actually talking about the Chelonians, but making a not-so-veiled stab at those readers who wanted the New Adventures to be nothing more than a series of gloomy, angst-ridden monologues on the psychological failings of its central characters or what have you. Much the same principle applies to Stokes’ surety that Perfecton is possessed of “a dark heart that [can] be divined only through the artistic impulse,” a piece of gloriously overwritten internal monologue that clashes with supreme dramatic irony against the panoply of pantomime to come.

Again, we could have a conversation here about whether making these kinds of attacks – though really that’s a bit of a strong word, and they feel much more like light-hearted jabs in the context of a very light-hearted book – in the novel designed to introduce your audience to the new state of affairs was the wisest decision in the long-term, but, like I said earlier, The Eight Doctors is right around the corner, so why should we start repeating ourselves like some particularly pretentious parrot living off a diet of tacky synthpop, gloomy post-punk and half-baked media criticism?

Even once the action shifts from the relatively grounded world of the twenty-sixth century to the wacky pantomime hijinks for which it’s most remembered, Cornell is simply too skilled an emotionsmith to not at least present the audience with some semblance of an emotional arc for both Bernice and Wolsey, even as it’s very obviously not supposed to be the “main attraction,” as it were.

Benny’s grappling with the wreckage of her separation from Jason in Eternity Weeps at least manages to avoid playing into some of the more tired and uninteresting pop cultural depictions of divorced women being consumed with a deep fear of their own age or what have you, bar a few moments of lingering doubt at the emotional low points of the whole Perfecton ordeal, and there’s something absolutely heart-warming and poetic in Cornell choosing to take his bow from the New Adventures while affirming that the character he created will never grow old in the final “proper” scene of the novel.

(It is, perhaps, a little redolent of a wonderful conversation between Peter Boyle and Gillian Anderson in Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose over on The X-Files, but quite frankly, there are far worse places to pull inspiration from than the works of Darin Morgan, so I’ll allow it.)

Not only that, but it’s a perfectly serviceable emotional hook for an introductory novel like this, suggesting that Oh No It Isn’t! might not actually be as strange a choice for this slot as fan consensus would have you believe.

It feels supremely fitting that Bernice’s horrified reaction to the presumed pantomime afterlife in which she finds herself after the destruction of the Winton should be formulated not in response to the prospect of her death, but rather the notion that Heaven might simply be a stultifying and oppressively static, not to mention sickeningly twee, kind of place. Even after she realises the nature of the Perfecton simulation to be less heavenly than she had initially assumed, it’s pretty clearly this same fear of stasis that drives her madcap scheme at the ball to break the narrative logic of the world around her by accepting the proposals of all her suitors and thereby avoiding the ironclad closure of a “happily ever after.”

There’s a sense that this kind of environment is just totally anathema to a dynamic protagonist like Benny – and once more, one can’t really avoid the sense that Cornell is also working through his own fears of his career trajectory becoming intractably tethered to the New Adventures, in a barely-even-subtextual-at-this-point fashion – and that’s precisely the kind of mission statement that a novel like this should be making, insofar as it serves to illuminate the type of protagonist with which the series will be concerned, and, by extension, hopefully offer up a potential reason for readers to stick around. As we know, the audience ultimately declined that offer, but I don’t think it’s necessarily for lack of trying on the part of Cornell and Virgin.

This leaves us with only one other major character to talk about, that being Wolsey. It should go without saying that he’s been hanging around the New Adventures for about two years now, but being a cat there haven’t exactly been too many opportunities for deep and revealing insights into the depths of his psyche to this point.

Here, then, Oh No It Isn’t! makes up for lost time, as it were, by having the character transformed by the Perfectons’ missile into an anthropomorphic, talking catman, a manoeuvre which would almost certainly have caught the attention of furries worldwide if this story had been released some twenty years later in a less niche setting than this non-televised spinoff of a non-televised spinoff, but I digress.

Even if the character’s gradual, creeping unease at coming to recognise the unreality of his surroundings might not have a hope of matching some of the writer’s past emotional tours de force – whether it be the romance between John Smith and Joan Redfern in Human Nature, the gnawing emptiness plaguing Phaedrus in Love and War, or even Bernice’s own conflicted feelings on her looming marriage in Happy Endings – a Cornell novel that seems reluctant to unleash the full scope of the writer’s emotive grandeur still ranks quite favourably when placed against the best efforts from plenty of other authors, and one does truly feel for Wolsey’s conflicted state of mind as to the restoration of his former, less sentient self.

It should also be noted that the audio adaptation here threatens to intrude once more onto our consideration of the original novel, given Big Finish’s frankly pitch-perfect decision to cast Nicholas Courtney as Wolsey. For modern-day readers, for whom a copy of the audio drama is, yet again, infinitely more accessible than the novel upon which it was based – well, unless you opt for pirated/scanned copies, but I can’t even imagine such a thing… ahem – it becomes very hard to separate the lines as written from Courtney’s rather wonderful performance.

By all accounts, Cornell was rather uninvolved in the production of the audio adaptation, with his input mostly being limited to casting an eye over Jacqueline Rayner’s scripts and giving her formal approval to tweak the story for the change in medium, so the casting of Courtney is really something that can only feasibly be laid at the feet of director Nicholas Briggs or other Big Finish producers like Jason Haigh-Ellery and Gary Russell.

Still, for all that it’s perhaps not strictly relevant to how the novel would have been read in May 1997, it winds up feeling strangely apropos that Courtney, an actor most associated with a character who had, at this point, firmly metamorphosed into the role of one of the Doctor’s oldest and dearest friends – a characterisation nudged along in no small part by Cornell himself, since the material reality of Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart in the Pertwee Era was considerably different from what we might identify as his post-Battlefield incarnation – should be cast as the character closest to being an old and dear friend of Bernice.

But the gaps are, inevitably, all the more telling. Although Levene had apparently stipulated in her notes on Cornell’s initial synopsis for the novel that the agents of the People should be specified as having some relation to Kadiatu, no such identification occurs within the text of the novel itself, an omission which one can only assume was made out of a fear of referencing the Lethbridge-Stewarts in even the most oblique of fashions.

And ultimately, it is this which proves the most enduring legacy of Oh No It Isn’t! to the Benny novels that follow, even if individual elements like Menlove Stokes or the colourful cast of St. Oscar’s might fade into the background. From this point forward, Virgin are effectively operating at the very fringes of the Wilderness Years, with Big Finish eventually being able to upstage them on the Bernice Summerfield front by contracting established Doctor Who actors even before they received an official Doctor Who license from the BBC, and the New Adventures can’t help but reflect a certain cognizance of that newfound status.

Seeds of that awareness are visible even here, with the Blues Brothers-esque agents of the People feeling themselves unable to elucidate on the nature of their mission from the Worldsphere while trapped in the Green, or Bernice’s briefly checking her surroundings to make sure that she “got away with” floating the rather familiar concept of a ship whose interior dimensions are considerably more spacious than might be suggested by its external appearance.

For all that Oh No It Isn’t! is frequently positioned as the start of the Virgin novels’ slide into irrelevance, increasingly eclipsed by the scattershot madness of BBC Books, its themes of metatextuality and of wilfully blurring the line between fiction and reality would be picked up as something of a running theme throughout the Benny novels, particularly in those books written by Lawrence Miles and Dave Stone. From a financial perspective, it may be a stretch to suggest that we can be reassured that the future is in safe hands.

It’s undeniable, however, that it is in a supremely interesting pair of hands…

Miscellaneous Observations

Apparently Gareth Roberts objected to the characterisation of Menlove Stokes in Oh No It Isn’t!, claiming he was completely unrecognisable. Apart from the slight blip here and there like his suddenly having hair when he had been bald in both his previous appearances, however, I didn’t find him to be especially jarring or distracting, even having just come off of reading The Well-Mannered War. Perhaps this is just another manifestation of my general aversion to agreeing with Gareth Roberts on any vaguely controversial point as a matter of principle these days, but I don’t much care if it is, so we’re going to move on now.

I do rather admire Rayner’s adaptation of the novel for Big Finish, as I said earlier, but I do think the audience who have only ever experienced the audio drama version have been sorely robbed by the excision of Candy’s “I’ve always preferred blur to oasis” joke, a line which must surely be in serious contention with No Future‘s “Chap with Wings there” for the title of Most Atrocious Pun in a Cornell Novel, and which I consequently love to bits.

Conversely, though, I’m not going to lose much sleep over the loss of the Spice Girls “cameo,” one of the few occasions where I completely agree with Anthony Brown’s prediction that the novel’s sense of humour is “going to date at a rate of knots…”

Final Thoughts

Well, today was an end and a beginning, folks. It’s deeply sad to see Paul Cornell go, but given all the contributions he’s made to the New Adventures over the years, affording him the opportunity for a graceful exit seems like the least that the range could do, and even if he didn’t offer up one last masterpiece, it was still a fun time.

Speaking of endings, this should be going up on the sixth anniversary of Dale’s Ramblings, so that’s deeply surreal and almost panto-like in its own right. 2023 has been yet another amazing year for the blog, and the site has been viewed more times in the past ten-ish months than it was over the entirety of 2021 and 2022 combined, which is one of those facts that I simply refuse to believe is real. Hello to any new members of the audience! I hope you aren’t too grotesquely disappointed with all of this nonsense, and I hope you’ll stick around for the seventh year of the blog.

And, as I hinted at earlier in the review, this is the ninety-ninth book I’ve covered as a part of this ongoing foray into the Wilderness Years, which means that next time will mark the one hundredth book. If everything goes like I hope it will, I’ll see you back here just in time for Doctor Who‘s own sixtieth anniversary as I make the frankly baffling decision to venture even further into the fringes of canon than I usually do, as we trace a thousand years of Forresters with the fourth Decalog, Re:Generations. But until then…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Virgin Missing Adventures Reviews: The Well-Mannered War by Gareth Roberts (or, “Darkness Grows Uncivilised”)

Everything must come to an end at some point… This close to the final dissolution there’s bound to be a tangible sense of unravelling.

~ The Doctor just about manages to sum up the generally dejected and dispirited mood of the review to come

It’s funny how these things turn out sometimes, isn’t it? Initially, I had hoped to mirror the structure of this review’s opening to that which I adopted in talking about The Dying Days, the semi-standard “The date is…” spiel to give you some measure of cultural context for a particularly important landmark in the history of Doctor Who publishing.

Unfortunately, in one of those peculiar failings of the human memory, I don’t actually have any idea what I should proclaim the date to be for my current purposes. On its own, this might not be deemed especially significant, but I have a tendency to retain all manner of frankly useless dates, well beyond the point where the knowledge would offer any practical benefits, so it always strikes me as odd that I don’t remember this particular date with any great specificity.

If pushed, I could pretty readily recall the date of concerts that I have been to, or the time that I went on a two-hour train drive to Robina to purchase a red bowler hat for about $60, because that’s just the sort of thing you do in your gap year, right? When it comes to recalling the two times that I tried to end my own life in 2017, though – the kind of event that you would expect to stick in your mind – I’d be hard-pressed to give you so much as a concrete month in which they happened, to say nothing of being able to actually pin down the precise dates within said months.

For obvious reasons, this isn’t exactly the kind of topic that I have any great desire to dwell upon at length, and I suppose that you only really need the broadest possible summary in order to understand the point I’m aiming to make. So, in brief…

In 2017, I was fourteen years old, and things were not exactly going well. I’d been struggling with depression for about two years at this point, I think, and suffice it to say, without getting too bogged down in specifics that might inadvertently nod towards my offline identity more than I would feel entirely comfortable with, my mental health was certainly not helped at all by my enrolment in a private school with a absurdly strenuous and stressful level of assessment.

At this time, my schooling experience was characterised by my being pretty firmly locked into a vicious cycle of feeling like I had so much assessment to complete that I had to devote virtually all of my lunch breaks to studying and writing, which naturally sapped my energy and will to live on account of, y’know, not having eaten anything for the vast majority of the day.

By the time I got home, therefore, I would almost always wind up feeling like absolute garbage, but the sheer volume of assessment with which I was forced to contend pretty much necessitated that my study continued even when I should have ostensibly had the chance to relax and not be crushed by the weight of having to turn in a ludicrous number of assignments every other week.

To cut a long story short, all of this eventually boiled over into my first attempt at harming myself. After a short break, I tried to return to school, but a second attempt a few weeks later made it pretty abundantly clear that things were simply not working out as they were. Fortunately, I was never really in any danger of serious harm in either of these instances, having chosen methods that were, in hindsight so ineffectual that I would almost consider the whole ordeal to be darkly comical if it weren’t for the grave and weighty nature of the subject at hand.

The eventual upshot of this saga was that it was agreed I would receive credit for the work I would have done for the remaining weeks of the school year – or at least, I think so; if I’m being totally honest with you I was well and truly mentally checked out by this stage, which probably goes a long way towards explaining exactly why I have a hard time remembering any dates from this period – and I would enrol in a school with a far less demanding curriculum the following year.

While I may have no longer had any particularly pressing study commitments for the remaining months of 2017, there were two things that I definitely retained easy access to. The most obvious of these was an abundance of free time, but free time is only worth something if you can find a task with which to fill it. That task soon presented itself, however, in the form of a DVD box set containing the first nine seasons of The X-Files, alongside the two films based on the series.

So there I was, so depressed and lethargic that I had nothing better to do than watch about four episodes a day of the classic show from Chris Carter that had proved such a phenomenon back in the 1990s… and which also ended about ten months before I was even born, so I was unequivocally sticking to territory about which I knew a lot even at this early stage, that much is clear. In all honesty, the only reason I stopped at four a day was because that’s how many episodes would fit on a standard disc. If the discs held more episodes, you’d better believe I would have let the show eat up even more of my time.

(Incidentally, this whole saga is a big part of my personal aversion to binge-watching, given its association with a particularly depressing and unpleasant time in my life. Mind you, it’s not as if an approximately three hour chunk of television is the sort of mind-bogglingly long timespan that’s likely to give your most avid binge watcher any sort of pause whatsoever, but it’s all I’ve ever really managed. Bar a single day a few months ago when I watched seven episodes of Heroes in a row, but we’ll just move swiftly on from that. I’m not obsessed, why would you suggest such a thing?)

And then, all of a sudden, a turning point. Following the off-handed suggestion of one of my friends, I decided to create Dale’s Ramblings, taking the title of a pre-existing channel in the Discord server in which we all hung out… which had heretofore mostly been filled with me giving vent to all my depressive and anxious thoughts, but that’s neither here nor there.

As far as having actual ideas for what I wanted to achieve with the project? Well, that one was a much tougher nut to crack, and it’s this general sense of directionlessness into which I was probably unconsciously tapping when I decided to adopt “Ramblings About Anything” as my tagline of choice.

In practice, of course, “Anything” mostly wound up meaning The X-Files to begin with, and the ramblings took the form of attempts to review the entirety of the show, episode-by-episode, devoting a single blog post to each season. To this day, I still instinctively shudder at the unmitigated gall of even deigning to attempt such a project given the state of my critical capacities in 2017, a state that I definitely believe to have been reflected in the out-and-out awfulness of the final product.

Sure, I console myself as my anxiety-riddled brain tries to actually get to sleep at night, these “reviews” were far from being the worst things ever written, and I’ll admit to still feeling a vindictive thrill of schadenfreude every time I realise that there are people on the Internet regularly turning out pieces of media criticism that are somehow significantly worse than my own pitiful early attempts, which is far more embarrassing for them than it is for me, considering that the vast majority of these people are significantly older than fourteen.

On balance of evidence, I think the worst sin of which those early pieces can be accused is that of being rather poorly-written and unfunny, and that probably isn’t the worst thing in the universe. I mean, it was still enough for me to delete ’em from the Internet – and I do mean “delete,” I don’t even have so much as an archive or draft copy, though there is at least a surviving version of my unfinished Season 6 post sitting in my Drafts here on WordPress that I whip out whenever I feel like laughing at my fifteen-year-old self’s ineptitude – but before any of you lost media afficionados start getting up in arms about it, allow me to assure you that you’re not missing much at all.

This is indicative of a more basic tension that I would go on to feel for quite some time over the course of my spell as a not-quite-professional in the field of thinking far too much about media, namely the push and pull between my urge to take the whole reviewing thing a lot more seriously than I did in my earlier, more casual days, and the considerably more reasonable part of my brain that is willing to cut myself some slack for the sloppiness of my initial efforts. More than anything else, I strongly suspect that it is this tension that really lies at the root of my instinctive distaste for those early reviews.

While there exist any number of valid criticisms that could be made of said pieces, I do sometimes still need to remind myself that my primary intention in the moment of their creation was not so much to bring about an especially deep or meaningful project, but to give myself something to do in the emotional slump in which I had found myself after a severe downturn in the state of my mental health. When I started Dale’s Ramblings, I could never have seriously conceived of the project lasting six months, let alone nearly six years.

This, in turn, brings us to the rather more enduring series that has come to define the blog, and the reason that this post exists at all. In early 2018, I found myself fascinated by the world of Doctor Who novels, particularly the New and Missing Adventures published by Virgin in the 1990s, and decided to reorient the content of the blog to reflect this newfound hyperfixation.

With that being said, the blog was barely four months old by the time I posted my review of Genesys, and although I had made a vague, internalised commitment with myself at the time to try and cover the totality of Virgin’s published Doctor Who output, the fact that this task entailed, at the very least, well over ninety full-length novels – even before factoring in quaint oddities like Who Killed Kennedy or the Decalog short story collections, to say nothing of the subsequent Bernice Summerfield-led NAs – meant that I was still functionally unable to envision the long-term shape which this endeavour was likely to take, except on the most abstract and theoretical of levels.

The Well-Mannered War, as you’re hopefully well aware if you possess enough of a familiarity with the Virgin novels to be interested in a project like Dale’s Ramblings, is the thirty-third and final Missing Adventure. By extension, this ensures that it also serves as the de facto endpoint for my exploration of the company’s licensed Doctor Who tie-in fiction, and the first time at which I can truly take in the broader arc of the project.

It is, admittedly, something of an arbitrary distinction from a purely chronological standpoint. While it can frequently be difficult to ascertain precise publication dates for some of the Wilderness Years novels, particularly in this late stage of the Virgin books, what meagre evidence I can scrounge together from such authoritative documentation as exists in the scattered reference works that concern themselves with such an esoteric and ephemeral subject as inter-hiatus Doctor Who fiction seems to suggest that The Well-Mannered War hit British bookshelves on April 17th, 1997, in keeping with the apparent unspoken tradition to release the New and Missing Adventures on a Thursday.

For the sake of comparison, Lance Parkin’s The Dying Days was apparently published a day later, with the long-delayed So Vile a Sin following suit on the 24th, in spite of fandom’s inexplicably persistent contention that the novel was released in May. In terms of how these novels would have been experienced back in 1997, then, you can make a pretty solid case that The Well-Mannered War can only credibly lay claim to being the third-last Doctor Who novel published by Virgin.

But Dale’s Ramblings is defined by nothing if not by its meticulous planning of such trivial details as the order in which I choose to talk about these books, and that’s why I decided to buck such trivial concerns as linearity by shunting my coverage of So Vile a Sin back to reflect its originally intended release date of November 1996, as well as choosing to uphold the steady rhythm of covering each month’s New Adventure first, and following it up with the corresponding Missing Adventure.

As a wise man once said though, every great decision creates ripples, like a huge boulder dropped in a lake, and I’m sad to say that the most consequential ripple from this arbitrary quirk of scheduling really hits with the force of a tidal wave.

For all that I would very much like to exist in a timeline where I am able to treat The Well-Mannered War as a completely value-neutral proposition, it’s been quite some time since that was a reasonable option for me, and to pretend as if that sense of neutrality is still accessible out of some misguided pretence towards “objectivity” would frankly require me to sacrifice far more of my critical integrity than I am comfortable to offer up on the altar of an old, out-of-print Doctor Who book from a quarter of a century ago.

But let’s be real, the precise nature of the irreparable damage done to this premise of detachment and impartiality – so favoured by the hordes of Internet commenters who regularly scream at critics to “separate the art from the artist” as a default response, even as these commenters quite handily never seem to belong to any of those demographics most affected by the artist’s actions, beliefs or statements – is the same as it’s ever been, and it’s a damage that has as such become wholly predictable based on a quick glance at the front cover, which so proudly bears the name of a single author, the mere mention of which is enough to nudge my mood into being rather exhausted and irritable for the rest of the day. That name, as you’ve probably clued onto in the time spent reading my lengthy, doom-laden prelude just now, is none other than Gareth Roberts.

The problem with the state of Roberts’ career and opinions as they currently stand in the year 2023 has been litigated so thoroughly by me at this point that I almost feel it unnecessary to comment upon it any further, but I do think it bears reiterating one last time, in the most forceful and direct manner possible, just in case you really don’t get it.

Gareth Roberts is a transphobe. He is not, whatever he might protest, “just asking questions,” and he is not acting out of some genuine desire to protect women and children, except insofar as he can use it to justify the curtailing of trans people’s rights. Because, y’know, clearly trans people have had it far too good for far too long, and are truly elevated in society and not at all treated like shit by a world that wants to demonise and ostracise them for literally just seeking the right to exist.

I’ve only just realised, in fact, that I’ve never actually outlined exactly what led to this whole fall from grace to begin with, and I think that’s as good an illustration of my point as any. I will spare you the pain of having to read Roberts’ Tweets in the format of any sort of extended direct quotation, because I simply have no desire to expose my readers to such lurid, vicious and snarling transphobia in its raw, undiluted form. Suffice it to say, however, that he almost immediately jumps straight to the T slur, before insinuating that trans women can only ever aspire to a conception of femininity with the depth of that of a “clueless gayboy.”

To say that this is horrible is obviously a glaring understatement. Dropping the T slur right off the bat is the kind of move that pretty much instantly torpedoes any pretence you might otherwise make towards being a broadly sympathetic individual with “a few concerns,” even before you get to the decision to segue into some not-so-good old-fashioned casual misgendering.

Not for Roberts, apparently, the “having a senior moment” excuse that got trotted out by J. K. Rowling’s PR team when the first stirrings of her rampant transphobia started showing in 2018. Both forms of bigotry are utterly heinous and reprehensible, to be very clear, but it does go to show that Roberts was already pretty damn far gone by the time of his initial Tweets in September 2017, as I see no other way of feasibly accounting for the unalloyed vitriol to which he near-instantaneously leapt.

In light of this, the question of how to handle the seven New and Missing Adventures that Roberts had contributed to Virgin was a rather pressing one in the context of Dale’s Ramblings, if very definitively a secondary concern to considerations like, y’know, the harm done to actual trans people by his unspeakably odious and hateful rhetoric.

In the spirit of full transparency, though, I’m forced to admit that my initial response to the matter in my reviews of The Highest Science and Tragedy Day was severely lacking in hindsight, which is to say that I responded by… well, by totally failing to acknowledge his transphobia at all, as it happens.

This was not, it must be said, a conscious omission or a deliberate oversight on my part, and the nearest thing I can offer as an explanation here – not, pointedly, as an excuse – is that I was quite simply unaware of the matter, with my reviews still existing at something of a disconnect from anything approaching a broader Doctor Who community at that time; I didn’t even start using Twitter until much later in 2019, so Roberts’ inciting Tweets were honestly just not on my radar at all at the time.

By the time my review of The Romance of Crime rolled around in May 2020, however, I had long since reached a state where I was beginning to really take my writing much more seriously, and I increasingly began to feel uncomfortable with my not being sufficiently tuned in to remark upon the awful turn Roberts had taken.

Even though I remained broadly complimentary towards the novel, I thus saw fit to include a condemnation of his statements and beliefs in the Miscellaneous Observations section of the review, while also apologising for not having been aware of the problem sooner for no deeper reason than my own inattentiveness. This also went on to exemplify the approach I took when covering Zamper, restraining my commentary on his beliefs to a disclaimer at the start of the review proper.

Over the last year or so, however, I have come to believe that even this level of separation is no longer sustainable, and my disdain for the man increasingly crept into the main body of those reviews I penned covering his once highly-esteemed body of work on Doctor Who, starting in earnest with my piece on The English Way of Death and carrying over to his contribution to the third Decalog collection, Fegovy, before achieving its ultimate expression in the not-quite-review of The Plotters, where I barely touched on the content of the novel itself at all, and basically just used it as a springboard to talk about wider topics like the nature of fandom and mythology through the ages.

The source of the impetus behind this shift is easy enough to pinpoint, honestly, mainly coming down to his assumption of a position as a regular contributor to The Spectator in July 2022. To be candid, I think that part of the reason it took me as long as it did to really and truly give up on all hope of reviewing Roberts’ novels in the same way as I would if they were the work of any other author came down to his irrelevance.

By May 2020, it seems fair to say that Roberts’ career as a television writer was effectively dead in the water, which he would probably pin on a rampant conspiracy of insidious liberals hidden in plain sight within the entertainment industry, and not, I’m sure, on the fact that he’s a massive, insufferable asshole. Barring an acknowledgment for the use of the Skullions in The Magician’s Apprentice, his last credit on televised Doctor Who was The Caretaker in Series 8, more than half a decade prior. Past that, he had racked up one credit each on Charlie Higson’s Jekyll and Hyde in 2015, as well as an episode of John Rogers’ The Librarians broadcast on New Year’s Day 2017.

But his posting at The Spectator, one of the most prominent mouthpieces for British conservatism in the world of magazine publishing, and a publication that has played host to the likes of such prominent Tories as Boris Johnson and Nigel Lawson, changed all that. I mean, let’s qualify our assertions here for a second: his television career is still dead as a doornail, and it’s been six years and counting since his script for The Librarians.

On the minuscule chance that any members of his new audience recognise him from his days in the field of television, or even from his scripts for Doctor Who, it’s not as if they’re the type of devoted Who viewer who would be at all able to pick the writer of The Shakespeare Code and The Lodger from the writers of Gridlock or Vincent and the Doctor if faced with a line-up.

There would, in short, be something vaguely pathetic about this fate if it wasn’t for the sense that Roberts is materially very well off in his new position close to the shrivelled, withered hearts of his ghoulish conservative overlords, to say nothing of the fact that he’s routinely chosen to use this position to actively further the marginalisation of trans people that he has proven so very fond of, writing pieces lampooning critical media coverage of his fellow members of the Transphobia Hall of Fame like the aforementioned Rowling, disgraced Irish comedy writer Graham Linehan, and failed Liberal Party candidate for the federal Australian seat of Warringah, Katherine Deves, the latter of whom also just so happens to write for The Spectator every now and then. Truly, what are the odds?

Because of this, Roberts occupies a distinct position even when compared to other Doctor Who writers who have been revealed as holding rather repugnant views. At least in the case of Jim Mortimore’s weird COVID conspiratorialism or Trevor Baxendale’s own embrace of transphobia, one can be comforted to a certain extent by the knowledge that they’ve largely painted themselves into the corner of being almost irrelevant unknowns to the vast majority of Doctor Who fans.

(I’d say that they haven’t been hired in a while, but in Baxendale’s case at least he seems to have been given one hell of a grace period by Big Finish, being due to have a story released as part of a forthcoming collection in the Tenth Doctor Chronicles series in November. Yes, a glance at the backstage information reveals that the recording sessions for the anthology took place back in 2020, so one can only hope this is simply a reprise of the James Dreyfuss situation where the company are simply bound by contractual arrangements to release the stories, but it’s really not a good look.)

But not only did Roberts end up making the jump from the printed page to the small screen in a way that some of his more forgotten Wilderness Years contemporaries never did, he now possesses a platform at one of the most visible conservative publications in the country, and is using that platform to spew his loathsome garbage for all the world to see. Some might accuse me of being alarmist and overstating the influence that his column has, but the fact is that trans rights in the United Kingdom are already in a precarious enough position without morally vacuous and vile little bigots like Roberts serving to stir the pot, as it were, and I consequently have very little desire to just pretend that things are business as usual when they are manifestly not.

All of which is a damn shame, because in spite of everything I just said, I do think The Well-Mannered War might just be the most fun I’ve had with one of Roberts’ stories in some time. It’s a novel that feels perfectly pitched to meet the tenor of April 1997, mixing the quick-witted humour we’ve come to expect from the Missing Adventures’ excursions into the realm of Season 17 with a sense of almost apocalyptic melancholy, and in that sense, at least, proves itself more than worthy of its status as Virgin’s swansong.

I suppose, given this is thankfully the last time that we’ll ever need to talk about Gareth Roberts’ work in any great detail – he will return with two short stories in BBC Books’ Short Trips series of collections, but the wonderful thing about short stories is that they are, in a shocking turn of events, short – we might at least want to make a token attempt at envisioning how we might go about appraising The Well-Mannered War if we wanted to maintain the ethically dubious veneer of total political neutrality in media criticism. It will probably be a rather short experiment, all things being equal, but I do believe that we might be able to make a stab at some final home truths regarding Roberts’ conception of Doctor Who in the process of doing so.

First and foremost, the Doctor, Romana and K9 are predictably on fine form, exhibiting that same effervescent interplay that made The Romance of Crime and The English Way of Death such a blast to read, and Roberts proves himself a dab hand at splitting up the trio to explore the various facets of life on Barclow and Metralubit in the classical Doctor Who tradition.

Those facets themselves also speak well to the writer’s own particular brand of satirically tinged social commentary, with the titular well-mannered war serving as a pleasant skewering of politically opportunistic militarism and its attendant hollowness. From the opening sequence, in which the respective commanders-in-chief of the Metralubitan and Chelonian forces exchange pleasantries and reluctantly go on to engage in a heavily ritualised, formalised and pitifully half-hearted and ineffectual kind of assassination attempt, it’s clear that Roberts’ comedic senses are as sharp as ever.

(Particularly delightful, in this regard, is Dolne’s internal commentary on the dagger with which Jafrid intends to stab him, offering up an appraisal of the piece’s value worthy of the best efforts of Antiques Roadshow, before he abruptly breaks off in response to the realisation that he should, in fact, make a perfunctory effort to prevent his own death. After foiling the immediate threat to his person, he even goes so far as to ask to be given the dagger as a keepsake.)

And yet, underneath all of this barbed humour and cynicism, there exists something of a dark side. It’s subtle, and only really makes itself known in those scenes concerned with the political life of Metralubit, but it’s enough to throw a fair proportion of Roberts’ work into a sort of sharper and more disturbing clarity than has been attainable in the past.

You see, at the time we join the novel’s action, Metralubit is presently in the midst of an election to determine its next Premier. For those of you who read my piece on The Dying Days, this will probably set off all sorts of internal alarms, given how much ink was spilled there on the matter of the forthcoming 1997 general election which was only two weeks away at the time of The Well-Mannered War‘s publication.

You might reasonably expect, then, that I’d now launch into an effort to try and get the facts of this contest to map onto that between Major and Blair, but reading The Well-Mannered War very quickly stymies any such attempts. To illustrate my point, let’s now try and enter into yet another doomed critical gambit, and see just how rapidly things fall apart, shall we?

First off, we’re told that the incumbent government, led by Premier Harmock, has been in power for the past fourteen years, obviously evoking the real-world Conservatives’ eighteen-year stint in Whitehall. Opposition leader Rabley, on the other hand, is presented in a manner that would seem to evoke the popular conception of Tony Blair as a figure of youthful reform, with reference being made to “[Rabley’s] youth as a long-haired dissenter” and his membership of the “Rebel Labourers’ Party.”

In trying to carry this analysis any further, however, we already run head-first into some substantial roadblocks. If Rabley is meant to evoke Blair, then the logical conclusion would seem to be that Harmock is meant to stand in for Major, but the evidence to support such a contention seems to be rather thin on the ground. Harmock is presented as a corpulent figure given to populist, jingoistic rhetoric of the type more closely associated with the hardline, “dry” faction of the Conservative Party, both of which feel like rather poor fits for the image generally ascribed to Major, even leaving aside the fatphobic sentiments on display here and the rather tired elision of moral and political corruption with obesity.

Things only become more confused once Rabley winds up being killed in the unprecedented escalation of Chelonian hostilities, and K9 is able to assume his position as the main challenger against Harmock’s administration. In formulating his policy platform, the caniform candidate skirts rather close to a version of economics that should seem eerily familiar to any scholar of Thatcher’s time in office:

There is much wastefulness and financial mismanagement perpetrated on Metralubit. I shall pledge a more efficient economic strategy based on increasing state interest in industry, without losing sight of the electorate’s dislike of swingeing tax increases. Revenue
will be raised by levying higher rates on the mega-profitable monopoly supply companies such as the Water Conglomerate and the Oxygen Bureau. This measure is both populist and politically credible.

Even before Rabley’s untimely demise, however, Roberts never seems especially enamoured with the notion that the character stands for any possibility of meaningful change to Metralubit’s political system. In the only speech we ever see him give, he stammers and stumbles over his attempts to expound upon the failings of Harmock’s premiership, and the fact that he maintains a solid polling lead over the government seems intended as an indictment of the entire system as being a farce, beholden more to personal interests and the lining of polticians’ pockets than it is to any sense of deeply-held ideological convictions. And all of  that’s before you get to the revelation that the very idea of the electorate’s continued existence is part of an elaborate ruse on the part of the Femdroids, which only cements the impression that we’re meant to take Metralubitan politics – and by extension politics as a system – to be a hollow sham.

This is not necessarily too suspect a position on its own merits, shorn of all relevant context. That’s a big qualifier, yes, but stick with me. Corruption obviously exists in the British political system, and taking aim at the rather cynical media manipulation of someone like Thatcher is practically the dictionary definition of “fair game” for a satirical work of this nature. Even proving sceptical of the capacity of Blair and his New Labour doctrine to serve as an agent of lasting systemic change isn’t entirely unreasonable, given the fact that many of his policies ultimately seemed to be a reheating of those espoused by the Tories, with a bit of red paint splashed on top to make it seem different, and a mixed metaphor on my part just to tie everything together.

(If you are, in fact, slathering your leftovers in paint every time you go to reheat them, you’ve frankly got far more pressing concerns than can be addressed either by my blog or a change in the national leadership, and you should probably call a doctor post-haste.)

However, if we accept Roberts’ premise that the political system as it currently exists is preposterous and absurd, our next thought is always going to turn to the question of what alternative he posits. Given the broadly established nature of Doctor Who as a show about a figure with often vaguely anarchic tendencies tearing down the existing social order and supplanting it with something (hopefully) better, the obvious answer would seem to be “revolution.”

But even here, The Well-Mannered War frustrates our attempts at analysis through the character of Fritchoff. Fritchoff, you see, is quite obviously a Marxist, even if that identification is never explicitly made within the text of the novel itself; he talks about the bourgeoisie, the population’s capitalist masters, and discusses the power of hegemony, so really, if he’s not a Marxist then I’m actually the secret third co-prince of Andorra.

Fritchoff is also, in no uncertain terms, a joke and a consistent object of ridicule.

Once again, I’m not insisting that Doctor Who needs to exist as nothing more than an exercise in dogmatics, preaching the virtues of Marxist theory to all and sundry. I am, in fact, quite prepared to accept a book that offers up a criticism of Marxism, as it would at least be interesting.

And make no mistake, The Well-Mannered War‘s treatment of Marxism is interesting, if nothing else. As has been observed before, Roberts clearly has some understanding of how Marxist rhetoric is supposed to work here, and the jokes at Fritchoff’s expense aren’t the type of shallow, barely-informed critiques you’d expect to hear bandied about by a curmudgeonly and racist relative at a supremely awkward family gathering, or at the Republican National Committee come election season. There’s been some recognisable thought put into making the jokes function with the structure of, well, jokes, rather than ludicrous anecdotes that use “Marxism” or “socialism” as buzzwords to mean “anything to the left of Strom Thurmond” in the grand American tradition.

But when you take it in conjunction with Roberts’ pre-established disdain for the current political system, which seems so deep-rooted that it’s hard to credit that he even believes in the possibility of reform, it does start to throw a wrench in any effort to discern exactly what Roberts believes should be done, and aggressively yanks the scales away from our eyes as we realise that this has seemingly been a fundamental part of the man’s view of the world from day one.

When all is said and done, it’s hard to escape the impression that Gareth Roberts is unconcerned with the actual business of enacting societal change, or even that of pondering how the needs of those excluded from consideration by society might best be met, so long as he is able to laugh at it along the way.

It’s the kind of sentiment quite succinctly expressed by Stokes when the unreality of the Metralubitan election is just beginning to dawn on Romana and K9. “Thank you, Engels,” he begins, because we needed yet another dig at socialism, I suppose. “Don’t rant at me. I’m not registered to vote here anyway. Even if I was I wouldn’t. Politics is merely a show made by those in power to con the proles into thinking they have some say.” Yes, the character has plainly been conditioned by the Femdroids at this point in time, and Stokes is hardly the foremost expert on political theory, but the fact that Metralubit is ultimately revealed to be “a show made by those in power” in a very literal sense supports the idea that we’re meant to feel that there’s a kernel of truth in this speech, deep down.

In other words, Roberts seems to share that peculiar and paradoxical conception of comedy that so animates many of the great jokesters to have fallen from grace. Comedy is at once endowed with its force by God-given writ so that it might speak the truth to power – already a shaky enough starting point for an argument at the best of times, given just how much comedy is forced to operate within the exact same power structures it purports to critique – and yet must somehow remain wholly divorced from any pressing worldly political concerns, lest it suffer the ignominious fate of being branded “woke.”

This, perhaps, goes a long way towards explaining what might at first glance be taken as an irreconcilable contradiction between Roberts’ current stance that politics should be kept out of art at all costs, and the apparent handling of explicitly political themes in his earlier works. To Roberts, there is no contradiction, because the laughter is truly the only thing that matters, and it has always been that way.

In this light, then, it becomes difficult not to read the writer’s affinity with Season 17, a point at which the comedy was undeniaby one of the most important aspects of Doctor Who to its script editor, as anything but an implicit rejection of the political except in its comedic capacity. It’s not for nothing, as we observed last time, that Thatcher’s election as Prime Minister came right after location shooting on City of Death wrapped up.

This is the view of history that takes a funny anecdote about Douglas Adams and Graham Williams going on a pub crawl to be the most significant thing that happened in early May 1979, for no other reason than that there was never a Doctor Who episode entitled The Winter of Discontent, and that any real-world events of that ilk are therefore profoundly unimportant when measured against the history of this lone television programme. This is the view of politics that views ranting, right-wing shock jock Jeff Shrubb as being at all comparable to the profound liberal sin of charity telethons in Tragedy Day. And it is the view of art that leads people like John Cleese to rave about the perils of cancel culture while immediately getting a spot on Channel 4 to do a documentary about the perils of cancel culture.

Ironically enough, then, I’m put in mind of nothing so much as Yes, Minister, the show that famously committed to never precisely pinning down which political parties the main cast members belonged to. It was a decision that, to paraphrase Derek Fowlds himself, effectively enabled both sides of the political spectrum to labour under the impression that it was about their opponents.

But one of the biggest fans of Yes, Minister was ultimately none other than Margaret Thatcher herself, to the point where she went so far as to write a sketch based on the show, which she performed with series stars Paul Eddington and Nigel Hawthorne at an awards ceremony hosted by noted guest star in the annals of Doctor Who history, Mary Whitehouse, in her capacity as the founder of the National Viewers’ and Listeners’ Association. Both actors were apparently deeply uncomfortable with the skit, and it’s pretty easy to see that discomfort reflected in their performances in the clips available on YouTube.

My point here is not to “bring down Yes, Minister” or anything so trite and cack-handed, but to point out that its stabs at apolitical political comedy – probably a reflection of the seemingly diametrically opposed political sensibilities of co-creators Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn – were, for all their genuine effervescent wit and cleverness, ultimately advancing a fundamentally conservative view of comedy, which is why Thatcher thought that she could try her hand at it and failed spectacularly.

It’s the same thing with The Well-Mannered War, ultimately, and arguably the same thing with the entirety of Gareth Roberts’ career, even if it took until Fritchoff for us to see it in full. Perhaps I will wind up being accused of allowing one man’s shitty actions to overshadow the genuine talent he showed in his earlier artistic endeavours, but the fact of the matter is that the seeds of those shitty beliefs were always there, lurking in plain sight.

The most depressing thing of all, though, is how Roberts chooses to end The Well-Mannered War, with the Doctor and Romana venturing into the Land of Fiction to escape the clutches of the Black Guardian, who it turns out has been manipulating pretty much all of the novel’s events up to that point. Generally, this has been taken as a poignant reflection of a desire to seal off the Virgin line in its last minutes, and it very well may be. The mounting buildup is certainly a thing of beauty, and I can’t deny getting a little misty-eyed as I read those final lines, but I think that, given everything we’ve been talking about today, it also serves another purpose.

At the very last, Roberts effectively consigns the novels to the realm of pure ideas, as abstracted from material concerns as the fictitious analysts putting together the Phibbs Report – which is, by the way, a stunning display of anti-intellectualism that might well make one think that the people of Metralubit (and Gareth Roberts) have had enough of experts, but I couldn’t possibly make a comment on such matters – and the very worst part is that you get the sense that he genuinely means it as a compliment.

So then, this is me, putting my foot down one last time and saying “No.” You don’t get to trot out the same old tired talking points about art’s apolitical nature, and then turn right around and use the only artistic relevance you ever had in order to prop up a right-wing political platform that seeks to demonise trans people as predators and makes open calls for their eradication at one of the biggest conservative political events in the United States. But the harsh reality is that this is just what Gareth Roberts does now, and a few good pieces of Doctor Who cannot override that bleak conclusion.

For all that The Well-Mannered War might be reasonably entertaining, then, its greatest success is ultimately in illustrating precisely why I refuse to cut Dale’s Ramblings off at the point I had originally envisioned as its ending: I will not allow a man like Gareth fucking Roberts to have the last word on a series that I have loved and cherished for the better part of five and a half years now, and which gave me a reason to wake up in the morning when I needed it the most.

In closing, though, I think I’ll leave you with this. There’s an argument that transphobes really tend to like using in order to “dunk” on trans people, revolving around the point that if a hypothetical archaeologist were to dig up the individual’s bones some centuries hence, they would be able to identify the trans person’s assigned gender at birth thanks to anatomical differences. The actual mechanics of this argument are specious at best, weighting as it does the academic procedures of a purely conjectural research team over the lived experience of trans people who very much do exist – in spite of right-wingers’ fervent hopes to the contrary – in the here and now.

But I can, perhaps, understand why people like Roberts might cling to this argument like the sinking prow of the Titanic, because it must at least offer him the slightest morsel of reassurance and comfort to know that, in a hundred years’ time, anyone who stumbles upon his own mortal remains will have no idea just what a pathetic, small-minded, contemptible prick of a man he was.

In short, in a century’s time, nobody will even remember Gareth Roberts’ name, nor will they remember some piddling series of books for which he wrote. He has gone far beyond the point where he could have possibly redeemed himself, and the weight of history will inevitably bury him deep down in the landfill of superseded bigotry.

And I think we should admit, at this time, that that’s exactly as it should be.

Miscellaneous Observations

It’s a little ironic that I should reference Yes, Minister here, given that The Dying Days went out of its way to have Staines quite literally say “Yes, Prime Minister” on two separate occasions. The Well-Mannered War does feature a Chelonian doing his best Captain Mainwaring impression though, so that’s surely got to be counted as a win for fans of classic British comedy. I didn’t even plan on the House of Cards/Yes, Minister duality between these last two reviews, by the way, that just kinda happened organically.

Despite myself, I can’t help but admit that I do still have the slightest sneaking affection for the character of Menlove Ereward Stokes, and the idea of a character making the transition from the Missing Adventures to the relaunched Bernice-led New Adventures is a brilliant one. In practice, of course, the character will pretty much only ever be substantively used by Paul Cornell in Oh No It Isn’t! before the writers collectively stumble into a haze of collective amnesia and consign him to a few scattered off-hand references here and there. Ah, well, maybe it was all for the best.

I’ve hinted at it before, but now is the time to bid farewell to the stunning artwork of Alister Pearson, who’s contributed artwork for every single one of the past nine Missing Adventures, and many more besides. I dunno, given that we’re about to enter into nine uninterrupted years of photo montages courtesy of Black Sheep, I can’t help but engage in some preemptive yearning for what we’re due to lose. No more insanely detailed covers, never more a scattered set of letters cryptically shouting out Pearson’s friends…

It’s truly the end of an era, I tell you.

Strangely enough, though, the sense in which this is the end of an era often tends to get rather exaggerated by fandom, I feel. People point to the fact that few of the Virgin writers made the leap across to the BBC Books era, but while it’s certainly true that some of the big names were far less prolific in the EDAs and PDAs than they ever were in the height of the Virgin years, the only writer from the New Adventures with more than three novels to their name to never return to pen a full book once the license transferred to the BBC is… well, Roberts himself, actually, and even he turned in two short stories, as we said. As such, the sense in which there’s really much of a clean break here feels rather overstated by fandom, but we’ll allow it, I suppose.

Did I really just use the subtitle of my last review in this era of Dale’s Ramblings to reference an old song by a new wave band from Colorado that nobody’s ever heard of? Why yes, yes I did. And there’s nothing you can do to change it.

Final Thoughts

And there it is. All the New Adventures featuring the Doctor, and all the Missing Adventures. Done. Finito. It’s very tough to know what to say at a moment like this, and for all that the show must go on, there is a genuine sense of sadness as I realise that this is the end of a chapter that has defined a huge chunk of my life for almost exactly five and a half years, taken from the date of my posting the initial review of Genesys up to now. Next time – and don’t you worry, there will be a next time – it’s onwards and upwards, I suppose, as we wave goodbye to Paul Cornell and wave hello to Bernice Summerfield’s tenure as the protagonist of the New Adventures in Oh No It Isn’t! Until then, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Virgin New Adventures Reviews: The Dying Days by Lance Parkin (or, “The Final Cut”)

Nothing lasts forever. Even the longest, the most glittering reign must come to an end someday.

Edward Greyhaven Francis Urquhart, House of Cards (1990)

The date is May 3, 1979, and Art Garfunkel currently reigns supreme on the UK singles charts, holding the No. 1 spot for the fourth straight week with “Bright Eyes,” written by Mike Batt for the rather polarising yet broadly critically-acclaimed animated adaptation of Richard Adams’ Watership Down. It will go on to be the best-selling single of the year.

Meanwhile in the land of cinema, the big release of the week is Last Embrace starring Roy Scheider and Janet Margolin, a neo-noir movie which I have neither seen nor heard of. Judging by its only pulling in about $1.5 million at the box office, and only having about 6,000 ratings on IMDb, it seems I’m not the only one, but it’s still notable as an early directorial effort from one Jonathan Demme, who would go on to bigger and better things with films like Stop Making SenseThe Silence of the Lambs and Philadelphia.

Doctor Who is currently off the air, having concluded its sixteenth season in late February with the broadcast of the final part of Bob Baker and Dave Martin’s The Armageddon Factor. Mary Tamm and John Leeson have both deigned to bid farewell to the programme, to be replaced by Lalla Ward and David Brierly respectively.

Behind the scenes, Ward, Tom Baker, and guest actor Tom Chadbon have just wrapped up a four-day location shoot in Paris for City of Death, drawing the series’ first ever overseas sojourn to a close. On the same day, script editor Douglas Adams ended up making an unexpected appearance in the French capital, having arrived to discuss the forthcoming production of Destiny of the Daleks with producer Graham Williams. Adams being Adams, this apparently ended up morphing into an epic continental pub crawl that saw the two men wind up in West Germany, before finally returning home to the UK on the 4th.

I mention all of this mostly to make one crucial point: If you ever wind up with a hangover in the course of your life, no matter how nightmarishly painful it may be, you can at least be relatively secure in the knowledge that you will probably not return home to find that the country is now being run by Margaret Thatcher. Indeed, it may well be that there is no more sobering realisation under the sun.

And so we’re presented with one of those surreally serendipitous occasions in which a small, insignificant moment like an impromptu pub crawl organised by two members of the Doctor Who production staff actually ends up coinciding perfectly with one of the defining shifts in British culture, a juxtaposition so utterly beautiful that even the most fanciful of poets could never hope to dream up its like if you gave them a million years.

With the benefit of hindsight though, we probably shouldn’t be at all surprised that Thatcher ended up carrying the Conservatives to victory in 1979. Whatever else she may have been – and make no mistake, Margaret Thatcher was many, many things, all of them quite terrible in nature – she always possessed a keen understanding of the ways in which she could use the media to her own personal advantage.

There are all manner of examples we could bring up here, from her ability to mobilise the virulent racism and homophobia of groups like the National Front or Mary Whitehouse’s National Viewers’ and Listeners’ Association (which we actually already discussed back in Dave Stone’s Burning Heart), to her truly groundbreaking conclusion that Enoch Powell’s grotesquely xenophobic “Rivers of Blood” speech had a good, worthwhile message at its core that was ultimately just the victim of poor phrasing on the Shadow Minister’s part.

All of these would be worthwhile topics, but it’s perhaps most illuminating to stick to the familiar territory surrounding the 1979 general election. When it emerged that the centrepiece of the Conservatives’ “Labour Isn’t Working” campaign was the product of photographic manipulation, deliberately playing up the desired image of a dole queue in spite of a measly twenty volunteers turning up for the photoshoot on the day, Chancellor Denis Healey railed against the advertisement in the House of Commons, accusing Saatchi and Saatchi and their newfound Whitehall clients of “selling politics like soap-powder.” For all that the accusation may have stuck, however, it seemed that the electorate were more than willing to buy the Tories’ product of choice.

Against the disturbingly well-oiled media machine of Margaret Thatcher, then, James Callaghan was always going to come up short. Truthful or not, the notion of Callaghan as a weak, ineffectual and out-of-touch Prime Minister who failed to adequately respond to the pressures of the so-called Winter of Discontent would prove to be the enduring image of his premiership in the popular consciousness, spurred on by a gleeful national press with brazen misquotes like the infamous “Crisis? What crisis?” headline with which The Sun ran in their coverage of the PM’s first press conference after returning from a diplomatic function in the Caribbean.

In light of this resounding defeat, then, Labour would enter a prolonged and painful hangover to rival the best efforts of Adams and Williams. Callaghan would stay on as party leader for the next seventeen months, before being succeeded by his former Deputy, Michael Foot.

Facing a schism from a number of prominent moderate Labour MPs, who went on to form the Social Democratic Party, Foot’s more vehemently left-wing policies ultimately ended up alienating substantial tracts of the party’s voting base, and the 1983 general election would see Labour lose sixty seats and more than three million votes, recording their worst electoral performance since the turbulent days of Ramsay MacDonald and his National Government in the early 1930s.

After Foot stepped down – pun very much intended – the mantle of Labour leadership was taken up by Neil Kinnock, who began to more firmly steer the party away from the more militant left-wing politics that were already coming to be viewed as having been poisonous to his immediate predecessor’s bid for the Prime Ministership, going so far as to vociferously oppose the tactics of National Union of Mineworkers leader Arthur Scargill in the 1984-85 miners’ strike.

Despite these efforts to make a clean break with the unfavourable image that Labour had built up in the minds of many, Kinnock remained unable to oust the Conservatives from the top of the electoral pile, even as an increasingly divisive Thatcher saw herself voted out by her party colleagues in favour of Chancellor John Major, whose premiership was almost immediately dogged by the looming spectre of recession and widespread predictions that the 1992 general election would result in a narrow Labour majority or, at the very least, a hung parliament.

Following Labour’s fourth consecutive defeat, the party saw yet another contentious leadership change, as Shadow Chancellor John Smith was elected as Kinnock’s successor. Although the party’s approval ratings benefitted significantly from public disillusionment with the Conservatives’ leadership in the wake of a string of high-profile scandals, Smith’s more circumspect and cautious approach to reforming the party when compared with Kinnock ended up causing internal friction between himself and members of his Shadow Cabinet, with the most vocal critics being a rapidly-rising pair of Shadow Ministers by the name of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.

And then, in May 1994, at the age of 55, Smith suffered a fatal heart attack in his London apartment, having given a speech at the Park Lane Hotel just the previous night. The subsequent leadership election some two months later saw Blair triumph over both John Prescott and interim Labour leader Margaret Beckett. For those of you keeping track on the Virgin Books timeline, this means that we’ve now caught up to around the release of Blood Harvest and Goth Opera. In fact, the novels were actually published on the exact same day as the fateful leadership election, because history apparently feels serendipity to be too neat a concept to not get trotted out a second time.

At the annual Labour Party Conference that October, Blair graced the world with the first inklings of his bold new vision for Labour in a piece of oratorical sloganeering that would effectively go on to shape the party’s policy for more than a decade: “New Labour, new Britain.” According to Welsh historian Kenneth O. Morgan, Blair’s speech used the word “new” a total of thirty-seven times, while the party’s accompanying draft manifesto for the forthcoming general election managed an even more impressive count of 107.

Which brings us, finally, to the present day, or the nearest thing for our current purposes. The date is April 18, 1997, a little under two weeks out from the general election, and the number one single is R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly,” given a boost by virtue of its appearance in the smash feature-length Nike commercial, Space Jam, which as far as the “Films Featuring Animated Rabbits” spectrum goes, is pretty much the exact polar opposite of Watership Down. This, incidentally, almost certainly makes for a most grimly entertaining double feature to bookend the pop cultural experience of the Tory years, if you’re interested in such things.

(If you’re understandably troubled by Kelly’s chart position here given subsequent revelations about his status as a truly monstrous individual in years to come, it might also bear noting that the week of the election will see his three-week shot at UK chart dominance ended by none other than Michael Jackson, making this something of an uncomfortable time to look back on, to say the least.)

Cinema-wise, three films see a wide theatrical release in the United States, and all land with a loud and unmistakable splat at the box office. It’s hard to see why, really, as a cinematic adaptation of McHale’s Navy from the man who brought you Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie does sound like ever so enticing an offer, to say nothing of mid-tier Joe Pesci vehicle and unabashed Pulp Fiction imitator 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag.

This same week also saw the release of Lynne Stopkewich’s Kissed, a movie which tackles such whimsical topics as female sexual repression and necrophilia, and whose failure to ignite much buzz among audiences is consequently rather more explicable. Nevertheless, it does apparently feature the use of the Aquanettas’ “Beach Party,” which I only really mention because I actually quite like the Aquanettas, and consider them one of the more underrated gems to be found amidst the post-punk and alternative rock scene of the early 1990s. Consider that a last-minute Dale’s Ramblings recommendation, just for the hell of it.

In the United Kingdom, of course, we find ourselves faced with yet another general election whose outcome seems all but assured. The slim majority enjoyed by Major and the Conservatives at the 1992 election has since been whittled away thanks to a series of resignations and unfavourable by-elections, in an ironic echo of the fate which befell Callaghan some eighteen years earlier.

Being about a decade or so younger than Major, and fifteen years younger than Smith, the forty-three year-old Blair seemed increasingly like the vanguard of an approaching tide of reform that would sweep through the established political order and leave a better, shinier world in its place, with Labour consistently placing ahead in opinion polls in the lead-up to the election. When it comes down to the crunch in about two weeks’ time, the party will ultimately win more than 400 seats in a landslide victory, leaving the Conservatives to mull over their weakest electoral showing in nearly a century.

In other words, what we are on the verge of witnessing here is almost certainly the peak of the so-called “Third Way” school of liberalism, that period of time when both Blair and Clinton were in the ascendant, and the styles of leadership and political reform that they were initially taken to exemplify were setting the tone of political discourse on a wide scale.

(Australia, in a move that won’t exactly help put paid to the tiresome memes about the denizens of the Southern Hemisphere existing upside down, seemingly got things the wrong way around, having spent the 1980s and early 1990s preemptively speed-running through the rise and fall of its own Prime Minister/Treasurer power couple who espoused a Third Way-esque version of Labor Party policies, before handing off to a leader from the opposite party who would stay in power until 2007. Parallels, people, parallels.)

In retrospect, we can see this peak as the fleeting cultural blip that it ultimately turned out to be, and Labour and the British left are largely still falling over themselves in an infighting-riddled effort to decide just how much of a failed experiment “New Labour” was. That it did in fact fail when confronted with problems like the Iraq War, if not well before that, is pretty much inarguable, given just how low Blair’s approval ratings sank in the aftermath of his decision to back the Bush administration’s invasion of Iraq, leading to the ignominious resignation which would punctuate the end of his residence in Downing Street.

And at the end of the day, Blair’s fall from electoral grace is a pretty effective microcosm of what the 1990s are really building to, as we repeatedly like to stress on Dale’s Ramblings, since we have principally been concerned with the 1990s as our topic of choice so far. The post-Cold War unipolar moment and the purported end of history in which writers like Charles Krauthammer or Francis Fukuyama so glowingly exulted crashed head-first into the grim realities of 9/11 and the War on Terror. There’s no escaping the shadow that that realisation casts, even when discussing moments that might initially appear to be triumphant in nature.

Furthermore, this feeds into the reason I chose to open a review of Lance Parkin’s The Dying Days with about two thousand words attempting to give a whirlwind tour of two decades of British politics. Well, OK, there are a few reasons, but they all kind of boil down to the same thing. First, it is a truth universally acknowledged that any discussion of UK politics from Dale’s Ramblings must inevitably circle around to the subject of Gordon Brown at some point or another.

More importantly, though, this sense of an uncertain transition into an unknowable future hangs over every word of The Dying Days like a funeral shroud – as you might feasibly have expected on the basis of the title alone – tapping into the anxieties of the New Adventures and the United Kingdom as a nation in equal measure. There’s something poetic in the fact that the last NA to feature the Doctor should also be the last novel of the Wilderness Years to be published under a Conservative government, So Vile a Sin notwithstanding.

Indeed, Blair will end up clinging on to power for so long that by the time we reach the end of Dale’s Ramblings as a project – or, at least, as a project chiefly concerned with the business of covering Doctor Who books – with the review of Atom Bomb Blues in December 2005, we will still be dealing with the very same Prime Minister whose arrival seems so imminent at this present moment in April 1997.

This is our first big clue into what exactly The Dying Days is trying to do, title aside, and Parkin is at least candid enough to signpost his intentions from pretty early in the piece, with Benny’s internal admission that she can’t recall the identities of the leaders of either the United Kingdom or the United States, owing to the two countries having both held elections in the nine months before the novel’s opening setting of May 6, 1997.

Taken on its own, this is a seemingly insignificant point, with Parkin himself characterising it as a simple means of covering his bases in the event that it turned out he had made the wrong call in the gap between the novel’s being written and its eventual publication. This, on a basic level, makes perfect sense for what we know of Parkin’s artistic and creative temperament, given what we discussed back in Cold Fusion with regards to his status as one of the novelists most concerned with the explicit historicisation of Doctor Who as a narrative that maps relatively neatly onto real-world cultural and social concerns, even as he often self-deprecatingly admits that such an approach will always have a tendency to run itself up a blind alley of incoherence.

Considering this fact, it’s perhaps telling that, when given the chance to update the novel for the 2003 BBCi re-release, Parkin’s only substantial addition served to tie the story all the more firmly to its era of choice. To quote Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story:

“Oh, I had the option to change it,” [Parkin] says. “Marc Platt revised Lungbarrow a fair amount. I twiddled a couple of details, corrected a couple of things, but nothing major. The version I had on disc wasn’t the copy-edited version. I copy-edited it myself, so there will be quite a lot of little differences. The major thing I did was add the Spice Girls to the party scene; they didn’t exist when I wrote the book, but it’s difficult to imagine 1997 without them.”

But there is something strange lurking underneath this observation, is there not? The Blairslide was, after all, far from being wholly unpredictable, to the point where even Zamper, published all the way back in August 1995, felt confident enough to drop a passing reference to “Number Ten, Tony’s den.” Ironically enough, I only recalled that particular factoid thanks to having obsessively pored over Parkin’s own AHistory over the years.

Clinton’s victory, admittedly, could have been said to be a marginally less sure bet than Blair’s, with the Democrats having managed the rare feat of losing both the House of Representatives and the Senate in the 1994 midterm elections. Still, the fact that the Republicans ended up selecting the 73-year-old Bob Dole as their presidential hopeful made it hilariously easy for the Democrats to capitalise upon Clinton’s public image as a young, forward-thinking political innovator, riding a booming economy to another resounding victory, with Ross Perot’s third-party candidacy politely managing to prove significantly less of an irritant than it had in 1992.

(In one of those amusing consequences that necessarily comes about when you legally require your presidential candidates to be at least thirty-five years old, Clinton would probably not have been considered particularly youthful by the standards of contemporaneous British politics, being only three years younger than Major, and about five years younger than Liberal Democrat leader Paddy Ashdown.)

All of which is really just a roundabout way of saying that the logic of “attempting to avoid glaring errors in predicting the outcome of two reasonably assured elections” doesn’t really stand up all that well to much scrutiny.

Even if Parkin had somehow ended up being totally wrong in his predictions, it probably couldn’t have been that much more embarrassing than comparable blunders like The Green Death half-seriously positing the possibility of Liberal Party leader Jeremy Thorpe being elevated to the Prime Ministership, or Battlefield predicting that a story apparently set in the late 1990s -around about 1997 by most sources’ reckoning, funnily enough – would see both the continued existence of a unified Czechoslovakia and the presence of a King upon the Sovereign’s Throne.

More to the point, chances were good that it would instead end up more akin to something like Terror of the Zygons fleetingly referencing a female Prime Minister in an obvious tip of the hat to Thatcher, who had only recently succeeded Edward Heath as Conservative Party leader at the time of the story’s original production in early 1975.

No, what’s really going on here is that The Dying Days is thoroughly committing to its positioning at a strange and ambiguous turning point in the intertwining histories of Doctor Who and the United Kingdom. If we read The Dying Days as a document telling of an Ice Warrior invasion in early May 1997 – as A History of the Universe and AHistory would prefer – this ambiguity is puzzling, but it actually fits perfectly if we read it as the sixty-first and final New Adventure to feature the Doctor, published in April of that same year. Because, well, that’s what it is, and that’s exactly how it would have been presented to audiences upon its initial publication.

Central to any turning point worth its salt, however, is a closing down of a particular vision of the future, the erasure of a given possibility and its supersession by something new, and within the text of The Dying Days there is no better example with which to start than that of Edward Greyhaven.

The most noteworthy thing about Greyhaven is that he’s very obviously played by legendary Shakespearean actor Ian Richardson. It is of course true that every Parkin book thus far has included a character modelled on Richardson, to the point where I’ve even enshrined the habit in the form of a semi-recurring and semi-serious recurring feature entitled the “Richardson Report.” Even before you factor in the illustrations from Allan Bednar, the source of inspiration should be clear enough from the moment Greyhaven is introduced as having an “aquiline face,” a descriptor that has already been enshrined, just three novels in, as one of Parkin’s go-to signifiers when introducing a Richardson-based character to the audience.

In the case of The Dying Days though, this resemblance is taken one step further than it was when we talked about Oskar Steinmann in Just War or Admiral Dattani in Cold Fusion. Greyhaven is not just based on Richardson, but on one of the actor’s most famous roles, that of scheming Chief Whip and eventual Prime Minister Francis Urquhart in Andrew Davies’ critically-acclaimed televised adaptations of the House of Cards novels for the BBC.

Urquhart, by definition, is inextricably linked to the identity crisis that arose in the late Thatcher years among the Conservative Party faithful, with the original House of Cards having been written by prominent Tory staffer Michael Dobbs, who was unflatteringly but memorably dubbed “Westminster’s baby-faced hit man” by a 1987 article in The Guardian, and rather more flatteringly dubbed a Life Peer in 2010.

As if to reinforce these connections even further, Thatcher would formally resign from the party leadership just three days after the airing of House of Cards‘ second episode, turning the opening lines of the serial – duly reproduced at the beginning of this review, naturally – into a grim and prescient portent of a Prime Minister’s demise. By the time of The Final Cut‘s airing in November 1995, this portent had become quite literal, opening with a hypothetical depiction of the funeral of the still very much alive Thatcher that so incensed Dobbs that he requested Davies remove his name from the opening credits post-haste.

Greyhaven, appropriately enough for The Dying Days‘ broader points, is a considerably more ambiguous figure when taken in isolation. His political affiliations are never explicitly pinned down, such that you could theoretically choose to read him as either a Conservative or as a Labour MP. Even having the Doctor recognise him as the minister for science from the UNIT days is no big help, given the legendary asterisk which hovers over any attempts to pin down a precise date for any of the stories featuring UNIT.

Even this seems like overstating the case though. As far as Virgin is concerned, the evidence overwhelmingly supports a dating for the UNIT era that places it as being roughly contemporaneous with the time of broadcast for the original Pertwee stories, most prominently in the form of works like Who Killed Kennedy.

Indeed, Parkin even explicitly draws attention to the link between The Dying Days and Who Killed Kennedy, cheekily asserting that the in-universe version of the book caused the government no small measure of embarrassment, suggesting that both James Stevens and David Bishop were subsequently put under surveillance by MI5, and that the publishers of the book were pressured into swearing that they’d never print anything of its like again. So that’d be Virgin, then, and one might almost imagine that “anything of its like” might include any books that purport to tell of the escapades of some mysterious Doctor. Really makes you think, huh?

(As an addendum, to firmly plant my own flag in a particular corner of the UNIT dating debate -which is probably, to be perfectly honest, fundamentally incapable of ever being resolved given the sheer weight of identically weighted and mutually incompatible evidence with which the audience is presented – I do think that the evidence of the Pertwee Era itself supports a contemporary dating, more often than not. It admittedly means accepting a definition of “contemporary” that features accurate historical details like pre-decimal currency in March 1970 existing almost side-by-side with profoundly ahistorical concepts like a fully-fledged British space programme, but this is no more nonsensical than seriously trying to argue, as many fans have over the years, that Sarah Jane Smith is somehow confused as to what year she hails from. Madness comes with the territory in this case.)

Accepting a roughly contemporary dating as a given, then, the inescapable conclusion seems to be that Greyhaven was part of whichever political party was in office in the period spanning roughly from the broadcast of Spearhead from Space in January 1970 to Planet of the Spiders in June 1974. As it happens, this coincides almost exactly with the Conservative government of Edward Heath, which had entered office a day before the final episode of Inferno, and was ousted by Harold Wilson’s reinvigorated Labour government in the gap between Death to the Daleks‘ second and third episodes.

What’s more, a careful inspection of the particulars of the Heath ministry will show that the post of “Minister for Science” – or, more formally, the Secretary of State for Education and Science, the two portfolios having been combined between 1964 and 1992 for reasons that I’m sure made perfectly good sense at the time – was consistently held by none other than Margaret Thatcher herself.

Given Greyhaven’s demonstrable status as an avatar of a bygone era of the Conservative Party, however coy The Dying Days chooses to play it, there’s a sense in which the character’s power-mad attempt to install Xznaal on the British throne – to have him play the King, if you will – serves as nothing so much as a final repudiation of the possible future that Urquhart represented, in which it was at all feasible to imagine that the Conservatives’ Chief Whip could ever hope to eclipse Thatcher’s record as the longest-serving post-war Prime Minister of the twentieth century.

The other important point that Greyhaven serves to establish is the notion that much of The Dying Days is operating off of a deeply symbolic logic, relying on the audience’s awareness of the wider cultural landscape of April 1997 to project a code of meaning onto the novel beyond that which might be present on a purely textual level.

This bleeds through into the treatment of the Brigadier, who is an obvious choice to fill the role of the more well-established and dignified representative of the Pertwee Era, in a way that a guest character like Greyhaven simply can’t ever hope to compete with. Lest this be misconstrued as an accusation that Parkin’s character work is shallow and solely trades on fan nostalgia, I should stress that that’s far from being the case.

I mean, yes, the novel is obviously not short on nostalgic reverence for the character, but that’s very much been enshrined as standard operating procedure for the Brigadier since at least No Future, and if we’re being truly pedantic sticklers we could probably make a case for that strain of thought stretching as far back as Mawdryn Undead and The Five Doctors. In other words, Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart is probably the regular character who feels like the most natural fit for this kind of symbol-based storytelling.

Whatever the underlying discomfort that writers like Paul Cornell might feel about the Pertwee Era exiling the Doctor to Earth and making him a Tory – and the Doctor’s casual recognition of Greyhaven here certainly does nothing to dispel those accusations – it cannot be denied that the Brigadier and Nicholas Courtney are very much an institution in their own right at this stage. Even Cornell himself seems willing to join in the fun, at least if Happy Endings is anything to go by, and it’s no big surprise that The Wedding of River Song would ultimately choose to implicitly pay tribute to Courtney after his passing. The Brigadier possesses an almost larger-than-life status that just about allows you to get by on sticking him into any story of your choosing and trusting that that alone will nudge it into attaining the coveted status of an “event story.”

As, it must be said, kind of happens here. The character is excellent, and as likeable as ever, but it’s not as if there’s much in the way of deep profundity to be mined from his presence, beyond reiterating the whole “UNIT: The Next Generation” feel that we already got from Battlefield, complete with the return of Bambera. Yet The Dying Days, as the last New Adventure, existing in the aftermath of the introspective and moody character work of novels like The Room With No Doors and Lungbarrow, doesn’t really need to do “profound” in order to work; it can instead let loose a little bit and just have fun, placing its money on “solid and dependable,” much like the character of the Brigadier himself.

“Solid and dependable” also serves to characterise the plot of the novel itself. With its focus on a Mars probe gone awry, the involvement of UNIT and some sketchy Prime Ministerial shenanigans, it wouldn’t perhaps be entirely unreasonable to make a few snide comments here about the possibility of Russell T. Davies filing away a few notes for later use in The Christmas Invasion.

More seriously, though, if there’s any similarity it really only stems from the fact that, for the pure iconic spectacle of the thing, you can’t really beat “a massive alien spaceship shows up and hovers over some identifiable landmarks.” It’s probably at least 95% of the reason Roland Emmerich’s Independence Day made more than $800 million at the box office, after all, and Parkin himself quite readily admits to The Dying Days owing something of an artistic debt to that cornerstone of 1990s disaster cinema.

In turn, The Christmas Invasion might be thought to include a veiled shout-out to Parkin’s novel in the form of Major Blake’s assertion that the Sycorax bear no resemblance to actual Martians, which actually goes some way towards bolstering my assertion that the two writers are operating from more-or-less identical principles of spectacle and iconography.

Both The Dying Days and Blake’s throwaway line rely, on some level, upon a certain proportion of the audience being the kind of Doctor Who fans who will nigh-instantaneously make the intuitive leap linking UNIT and the Ice Warriors as two groups that never got a proper on-screen confrontation, whatever the newly-regenerated Fifth Doctor might attest in Castrovalva. Indeed, The Dying Days apparently built off an abandoned proposal for a Third Doctor novel that Parkin had been toying with called Cold War, which would have featured everyone’s favourite Martians, and would have beat Mark Gatiss to the punch by about fifteen years or so, just for good measure.

Mind you, the extent to which both works lean on this kind of fannish gap-filling is vastly different. It’s effectively baked into the very premise of The Dying Days, whereas The Christmas Invasion confines it to a single throwaway line that works just as well if you only read it as a typically witty Davies aside. Nevertheless, it’s almost reassuring that the final New Adventure should contain such strong hints towards the future of the franchise, offering one last example of just how crucial these books were in shepherding Doctor Who through the 1990s.

Even the plans of Greyhaven and Xznaal for national domination pay great attention to the external, ritualistic symbolism of the relevant iconography. Staines might dismiss any notion that the intense media coverage of the Mars 97 event is simply an attempt to recapture a sense of patriotic, jingoistic British exceptionalism at the close of the twentieth century, but the fact that he’s implicated as a co-conspirator in the ill-fated Martian coup d’état naturally disinclines us to believe his assertions.

One of the very best scenes of the novel, and undoubtedly one of the most memorable, concerns Xznaal’s coronation as King of England, which Parkin seems justifiably proud of in his 2003 commentary, to the point of lightheartedly boasting that he got to the whole “crowning an otherworldly being as the King of England” thing before Grant Morrison managed to with The Invisibles.

It’s the ultimate manifestation of the ludicrous lengths to which an obsession with symbolism and ritual has driven the conspirators, trying desperately to stick to the pre-ordained programme even as it quickly descends into a farce, with Xznaal misinterpreting the use of the Anointing Spoon as an attack on his person and being unable to fit into the vestments that the ceremony requires. It’s a putrefaction of the iconography of imperialist monarchy just as deep as that afflicting the winter berry from Xznaal’s childhood remembrances, and one which similarly allows the maintenance of a deceptively lustrous and glamorous external appearance.

Even Alexander Christian, the disgraced ex-astronaut who was once considered enough of a paragon of idealised military virtue that he was chosen to fill the vacancy in the Scots Guards left by Lethbridge-Stewart’s secondment to UNIT, suffers a fate which possesses a certain symbolic horror to it.

Imprisoned on The Sea Devils‘ Fortress Island after being framed for the murder of his crewmates, he seemingly hasn’t been so much as photographed in decades, and the novel repeatedly stresses that the government have buried his case so deep that few of the younger members of the armed forces have even heard of him. In a world with no shortage of sensationalist evil – and Parkin explicitly names the Yorkshire Ripper, Myra Hindley and Rosemary West in his tableau of tabloid excess – what use would The Sun possibly have for a man like Alexander Christian?

But the final big piece of symbolic logic at work within The Dying Days is, aptly enough, the Doctor himself. Here, for the first and only time, we find ourselves presented with a New Adventure headlined by the Eighth Doctor. As a result, there’s an inherent temptation to treat this as the dawning of a brave new world, and a passing of the torch that kicks off the second form of the Wilderness Years, no longer shackled by that strange, small fellow with the umbrella and the questionable taste in pullovers.

Yet, as just about everyone under the sun has observed, it’s very difficult to treat the Eighth Doctor as an established character in his own right at this point, for the simple reason that the TV movie offers the writers so little material with which to work. It was intended as the launching point for a new series of Doctor Who on television, but it ended up making such a hash of it that it ultimately gave rise to new iterations of Doctor Who in just about every medium besides television.

Trying to read the tea leaves of the television movie and divine the shape of a theoretical McGann performance in the context of an ongoing series, then, is about as difficult a task as predicting the character arc of Michael Dorn’s Worf based on no deeper evidence than the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Both characters are unmistakably present, and occasionally they’re even given stuff to do, but they’re at such a nascent stage in development that it would be ludicrously ill-advised to try and anchor a whole twenty-six episode season of television around them, let alone an eight-year, 73-book series.

Faced with this profound paucity of source material – a state of affairs which will continue to hold until at least the time of Storm Warning in January 2001 at the very earliest – Parkin effectively becomes the first to engage in what will quickly become the go-to method of characterising the Eighth Doctor, which is to play the character more as a Sandiferian, alchemical symbol of what the Doctor represents. “Generic Doctor,” in other words; store brand Doctor, if you will.

Again, I might sound like I’m being unduly harsh on Parkin and McGann, but that’s not my intention at all. Neither of them can be said to have been responsible for the rather confused status quo of the Eighth Doctor going into April 1997, and in the case of The Dying Days, the fact that Parkin makes such heavy use of symbolic logic throughout the novel means that applying that logic to the Doctor himself just about passes muster.

Indeed, even when we shortly make the transition from Virgin to the early days of BBC Books, there are plenty of writers who will make a genuine effort to lift the incarnation above the roiling tide of genericism, which a more acerbic commentator than myself might describe as the very definition of a “thankless task.” The lack of characterisation in the TV movie need not be an entirely insurmountable obstacle, but it is going to prove an obstacle, and we get our first real inklings of it here, even if The Dying Days takes a rather novel approach to the problem.

Which leads us, at long last, to talking about Benny. In the times to come, we will obviously be talking about her quite a bit, as she finally asserts full control over the narrative of the New Adventures and becomes their main protagonist of choice, give or take a DeadfallDead Romance or The Mary-Sue Extrusion here and there. If anything, The Dying Days can lay a much greater and more substantive claim to being the first true Bernice Summerfield novel than it can to being the first original Eighth Doctor book, even if both are technically true.

The novel is very consciously structured to ease the audience into the idea of a reformed New Adventures line to be headlined by Benny, shrewdly introducing us to the action of the novel from the perspective of her lengthy stay at the house on Allen Road awaiting the Doctor’s arrival.

This, of course, all reaches its natural conclusion in the eleventh chapter, where it appears that Parkin has chosen to kill off the Doctor, as it was rumoured he would in the lead-up to the novel’s release. Again, as many have pointed out, this is yet another instance of the book relying on knowledge of the cultural context in which it sits, going so far as to ensure the final scene revolves around the Doctor’s absence, just to trip up any overly credulous readers who might be intended to skip to the last page and find out if McGann really has been killed.

Believing that Parkin would have actually done so requires a rather far-reaching suspension of disbelief on the part of the audience – even if he had, everyone knew that there was a line of novels starring the character due to start in less than two months – but that obviously isn’t the point. No, the point is to more properly foreground Bernice, following up on the trick adopted by Eternity Weeps by treating the audience to lengthy first-person segments framed as extracts from the good Professor’s omnipresent diary.

Unlike Mortimore’s novel, these sections never completely take over the narrative, but they nevertheless exert a peculiar form of gravity on any scene in which Bernice is present, forcing the audience to reckon with her as a true protagonist in a way that we haven’t really seen her treated in Doctor Who to this point. Even the attack on Allen Road is consciously designed to parallel her actions against those of the Doctor, with both finding themselves attempting to talk their way out of a confrontation with a lone Ice Warrior at different ends of the house, before reluctantly making use of their idiosyncratic forms of ingenuity to defend themselves.

In that moment, Bernice Surprise Summerfield finally comes to wholly and undeniably embody that most classic of descriptions of the Doctor, striving to remain a woman of peace even when caught up in violent situations. Even the Doctor himself is on fine form, choosing to pause in the midst of his act of grand self-sacrifice to save a trapped cat from the wreckage of his owner’s store.

In a rather glorious bit of internal monologue from Parkin, the novel reflects on the thorough ordinariness of this kind of heroism when compared against the oftentimes planet- or universe-threatening stakes that Doctor Who can sometimes favour:

The Doctor could end wars, repel invasions, track the villain to his lair, expose master plans and wipe out evil across the universe of time and space, he could do all that before breakfast.
[…]
But if the Doctor couldn’t use his unique abilities and special powers to save the life of one little cat, then what was the point of having them?
[…]
Because when it comes down to it, doctors save lives and any life is worth saving.

It is the gradual loss of the capitalisation and definite article on “Doctor” here which is most telling, and it is this which finally clinches The Dying Days‘ status as an appropriate send-off to the Doctor as he has existed in the New Adventures, and an ushering in of the age of Bernice. There are certainly jubilant moments for the character after that point, whether it be Parkin’s frankly sublime decision to have the Doctor’s “last words” be an offer of a jelly baby to the Red Death – though a cynic might read this as yet more fuel for the fire of suspicion that we’re dealing with the realms of “generic Doctor;” on this one occasion, I am not one of these people, so I love it to bits – or his inevitable heroic return, complete with one last rousing speech about who he is, for old time’s sake.

And that’s what it all really comes down to, isn’t it? No, The Dying Days is not one of the best or most ground-breaking books Virgin ever put out. From a certain point of view, given the extraordinarily high standards that the company and its authors had proven themselves capable of achieving, some might see this as a last-minute failing, a case of ending not with a bang but with a whimper.

But such a stance fails to consider that all the bold, ground-breaking stuff was left to the sixty novels beforehand. This is the literary equivalent of a victory lap, and so in spite of the fact that McGann isn’t especially well-characterised, in spite of the fact that it’s kind of just a bog-standard alien invasion narrative that makes the bizarre attempt to only have two Ice Warriors per scene in a strangely unnecessary bit of Segal-bashing, in spite of the fact that I’d pretty comfortably consider it to be only my third-favourite New Adventure from these last four months of Virgin possessing the Doctor Who license… I can’t bring myself to dislike it at all.

Here, at this very moment, I have done something I never seriously thought I would do: I wrote reviews of all sixty-one New Adventures featuring the Doctor. Some of these pieces were leagues better than others, and when I started out I definitely didn’t take this whole reviewing thing as seriously as I did now.

There was the early embarrassing, edgy teenage overuse of swearing, that I quietly went back and corrected some time back, because frankly I just couldn’t bear it any longer and it made me wince every time I thought about it. There were the reviews that frankly got a little too mean-spirited and personal at times when I was younger, with particular apologies due to folks like Gary Russell or Christopher Bulis; I promise I’ll write less viciously-phrased reviews of Shadowmind and Legacy at some point. There were the ludicrously short and half-assed reviews, that to this day perplex me on a fundamental level.

(How did I ever think turning in a 330-word review for Apocalypse was at all acceptable? You tell me, but at least I went back and remedied that one, I suppose.)

Through it all, though, there were the New Adventures, a series that I loved and cherished through all its ups and downs. There were Adjudicators and Also People, psychic vampires on the Titanic and common or garden variety vampires in E-Space, and a million and one other things besides.

Most of all, though, I’m just thankful for all of the people I met along the way. There are really too many of you for me to ever hope to do you justice by naming you all, but the people who I’m talking about will already know. I like to think that even those who I haven’t spoken to in a donkey’s age will somehow be aware on a subconscious level, but I recognise that that’s little more than wishful thinking on my part.

When I began this project, I was a lonely teenager who had very much reached his lowest ebb. If you had told that child that he would somehow manage to review ninety-seven whole books before turning twenty-one, to say that he would have disbelieved you would quite probably be the understatement of the century. He very probably wouldn’t have even believed that he would live for another five years.

But I have, and I’m here, and I’m so grateful. So that’s what this is, really. One last chance to express my gratitude and bask in the jubilation of having achieved something that I like to think is worthwhile. Because, to be blunt, if you know what’s coming up in the next post, you’ve probably already guessed that I simply don’t feel I can be very happy that time around. I will probably be very angry and sullen, in point of fact. For now, though, let’s just sit in this feeling. Whatever comes after this moment, this is the end of the New Adventures, and I think that’s a good enough note on which to finish.

(sotto voce)

Oh… no… it… isn’t…

Miscellaneous Observations

As I also noted with Chris’ private little war on the Ice Warrior base in GodEngine, it’s rather striking, from a post-9/11 standpoint, to see a novel in a popular science-fiction franchise so cavalierly describe fan favourite characters like UNIT as partaking in tactics explicitly likened to those of terrorists. Guess there’s really just something about the Ice Warriors that brings these sorts of ideas out of Doctor Who, huh?

On the subject of the Secretary of State for Education and Science, it’s perhaps a tad ironic in light of No Future that the next-longest serving holder of the position from the 1970s was Labour’s Shirley Williams, posited by Cornell as being the unnamed female Prime Minister from Terror of the Zygons rather than Thatcher.

Despite having a ton of plot points from Doctor Who novels “spoiled” for me over the years in the course of researching them in order to feel qualified to speak on the matter, somehow the fact that Eight ends up giving Benny the Seventh Doctor’s umbrella completely slipped my attention, so it hit hard. I mean, it still would have done regardless, but on this one occasion it was nice to be genuinely and completely surprised.

Final Thoughts

Well here we are, at an ending of sorts, but it’s far from being the last page. As I gestured to, we will be covering Gareth Roberts’ The Well-Mannered War next time, so join me for that. At the same time… it’s gonna be rough, I’m not going to lie, and it will probably be the moodier, less joyous shadow to the exuberant mood I’ve tried to project throughout this review. If you wanted to skip that one, and just decide to tune in when we’re back to doing light-hearted pantomime frockery with Oh No It Isn’t!, I would absolutely understand. Thank you for reading as much of this blog as you have, however much that may be. Until whatever will pass for “next time” in your particular case, however…

Kind regards,

Special Agent Dale Cooper